


Shadows of the Night

by Amateur_Sketch



Category: Grand Theft Auto IV, Grand Theft Auto Series (Video Games)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Biker Women, F/M, Interracial Relationship, Kidnapping, Native American Character(s), Native American/First Nations Culture, Pregnancy, Romance, Serial Killers, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-23 09:05:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 135,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11399427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amateur_Sketch/pseuds/Amateur_Sketch
Summary: After Kate’s death, Niko falls into despair, only finding comfort in a drink or taking to the streets to rid them of criminals. He figures he’ll die that way until Bellic Enterprise’s newest employee entered his life. Lily Bedard, a sweet and caring young woman, sees something in Niko that he didn’t see in himself.Kate had only been dead a year, it was wrong to grow close to someone else so soon, but Niko can't help the way he feels and realizes Lily is his second chance at a better life. As their feelings grow, someone from Niko’s past begins to terrorize the city. When Lily becomes the next target, Niko will do whatever takes to keep her safe, even a the cost of his own life.





	1. New Employment and Opportunities

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is not the best. I've tried fixing it and adding more, but I promise the next chapters will be longer and better. Any feedback is appreciated. :)

**Part One:**

**_The Night Terror_ **

* * *

_When Kate died, I swore I'd never get close to anyone again. It was for the best; that's what I kept telling myself. My heart withered, my soul died, and my mind numbed._

_Then I met her._

_No matter how hard I tried to fight it, in the end, her magnetic pull was too strong and I caved. There were moments when I thought that maybe I had made a mistake, that my folly would get her killed. Somehow my past would come creeping up again and snatch her away from me and that almost happened. She was too good for this world. Kind, beautiful, and stubborn when she wanted to be. I don't know what she saw in me, but I didn't deserve her. Still don't, but when I look out my window and see them in the yard, I know I've made the right choice._ _I will always protect them._

_Even if it kills me._

* * *

**Colony Island**

**February 10, 2009**

Niko parked his red and white Sabre GT across the cemetery and stepped out. After looking both ways, he crossed the street. It didn't take him long to find the row of headstones that read McReary. Maureen, Gerald Sr., Francis, Derrick, and Kate were all buried side by side.

He laid a rose on top of Kate's stone and wondered where they would be now if she were still alive. He thought about the following years they'd never have. Would they have married, had children? He'd never know because Jimmy Pegorino had robbed them of that.

Three months after her daughter's death, Maureen McReary died. Some would say it was just old age, but Niko and Packie both knew it was a broken heart. She had to bury two children in less than three months and it took a toll on her. A month after that, Derrick overdosed on heroin, just like Niko predicted.

Gerald was only allowed to attend his mother's funeral and never got to say goodbye to his siblings. Shortly after Derrick's death, Packie informed Niko that he was leaving for San Andreas. He wished his friend luck. The day before he left, Packie told him, "It ain't your fault, Niko. I blame that shit head Pegorino, not you."

But Packie was wrong. Niko had no one to blame but himself. For a while after Kate's funeral, Niko isolated himself. He never answered calls and continued his life of crime. It wasn't until Roman showed up at his apartment demanding to know why his cousin was ignoring him that the guilt set in. He knew then he was hurting the only family he had left.

He tried to take Roman's advice and move on by going on dates with other women, but none of them was anything like Kate. Far from it. Alex was too materialistic and conceited, Kiki wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't crazy, and Carmen was just as bad as Alex except, Carmen was a little more laid back and grounded in reality than the later woman. Even after they broke up, he still remained "friends" with her.

His phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. He reached into his pocket and saw Roman on the caller ID. He answered the call and was greeted by Roman's cheerful voice.

"Niko, it's Roman! Are you still coming over for dinner tonight?"

"Of course, cousin."

"Great! Mallorie wanted me to make sure. There's a certain someone who misses you, too."

That certain someone Roman had mentioned was Mijo, Roman and Mallorie's son. He was afraid to grow attached to his "nephew", but in the end, the two-month-old had burrowed his way into his heart, something he didn't like to admit out loud. The call ended a few minutes later, leaving Niko to grieve in peace once again.

A girl wearing a red leather jacket and a black skirt snagged his attention as she moved slowly through the cemetery. She looked to be Hispanic with an average height, a slim build, and long black hair that came mid-back. She continued to move up and down the rows of headstones, but it didn't look as if she was finding what she was looking for. She turned and walked back towards the parking lot to an orange Blista Compact. He found it strange that a girl dressed as nice as she would drive something like that.

Niko turned his attention away from the girl and back to Kate's headstone. Roman often asked Niko why he continued to torment himself over her death. Roman never believed Niko that it was his fault, but then again, he didn't expect his cousin to understand. Roman would never know the feeling and Niko hoped he never would.

His phone went off and he sighed.

 _ _What now?__ he thought. He checked the caller ID. Brucie.

He chose to ignore the call, knowing that Brucie wouldn't be too happy about it, but oh well. Even though he liked the 'roid junkie, the man did get on his nerves at times. The call ended and he checked the time. He put his phone away and walked back to his car.

As he walked through the parking lot, he noticed the Blista was still there, slowly being cranked up. He heard a soft feminine voice swear and complain on the other side. He stopped and wondered if he should offer to help her.

"Come on, why won't you come off!" She hissed.

__I guess I'll have to._ _

He approached the girl as she was struggling to remove the lugs from her hubcap.

"Uh, excuse me, miss."

She looked up and froze in place as her dark brown eyes shown fear. She gripped her tire iron and didn't move.

"What do you want?" she said, sounding a bit standoffish.

"I thought maybe you needed help." He replied, now unsure if this was a good idea.

"Oh," She seemed relieved, but still kept the tire iron close. "Well, I guess so. I know how to change a flat, I just can't get these stupid lugs off!"

He knelt down beside her. "First of all, you have to get the hubcap off then crank it up," he said as he lowered the car.

"I do?"

"Yes. Haven't you done this before?"

"Honestly, I haven't, but I didn't think it would be that hard," the girl admitted.

The lug nuts were on tighter than he thought, but he managed to loosen them.

"Do you have a spare?" he asked.

"I think so." she opened the trunk but appeared to be disappointed. "I have a tire, but it's too small."

"That's how your spare is supposed to look," he said. He was surprised she had never seen a doughnut tire before. Well, maybe it wasn't too surprising.

"I've seen my cousin change a tire before. He made it look easy," she said as she lifted the spare out of the trunk. She dropped it and it bounced slightly. He was already jacking the car back up when she rolled the tire over to him.

It didn't take long for him to replace the flat. Once he finished, he placed the hubcap back in place and lowered the car.

"Thank you!" she said. "You don't know how much this means to me. I have a job interview today and I was so worried I would be late."

"Don't mention it, kid." and with that, he turned and walked away.

* * *

Roman and Mallorie moved to Dukes shortly after their marriage. Their house wasn't far from the old McReary house, something Niko wasn't too fond of. Roman felt strange about it as well, but Mallorie insisted they lived there, claiming that the school in that area was one of the best. She told them both her son wasn't having a "ghetto education".

Mallorie answered the door with a fussy infant in her arms. She tried to sound chipper when she greeted Niko, but he could see and hear how tired she was. There had been complications during delivery, forcing Mallorie to have a c-section. She recovered quickly, but Niko had noticed there was something off about Mallorie lately since she had given birth. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but he didn't dwell on it too much. She would be okay. Mallorie was a strong woman and would get back to normal in no time.

"Look who decided to stop by and visit," Mallorie said. She opened the door wider to let him in.

"Hello, Mallorie. Hello, Mijo." He wanted to reach out and touch the baby but decided against it.

"Roman's in the backyard sleeping." She said, sounding annoyed. "I have to lay Mijo down for a nap and I'll join you both shortly."

Their backyard was the same as everyone else's in the neighborhood. He only knew this because he used to run through it when the cops were after him. He wondered what Roman would have thought about that if he told him.

He found his cousin sleeping in a hammock and tapped on him. "Roman."

Roman stirred, grumbled, then turned over.

"Roman!"

"I'll get to it later," he mumbled.

Niko grabbed the hammock and flipped it, sending Roman tumbling out. He cried out and face planted the dirt. He snapped up, looking around frantically before he noticed Niko standing over him.

"Cousin, what the hell? I was sleeping!" Roman said. Niko extended his hand and pulled Roman to his feet.

"Your wife is trying to calm your son inside and you sleep out here? You need to be helping her."

Roman rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't mean to fall asleep." He sighed. "Come on, let's sit over here." He pointed to the new patio furniture by the sliding glass door.

Niko pulled up a chair while Roman grabbed two Sprunks from the cooler.

"I hope you don't mind a nonalcoholic beverage. Mallorie wants me to cut back on the drinking." He handed Niko the can and pulled up a chair beside him. "But if that's what she wants."

"So, Roman, how's fatherhood?"

Roman shrugged. "It's alright. Better than I expected."

"Oh, what were you expecting?"

"I dunno, to be honest. It still feels strange. I never imagined myself as a parent, but it's not so bad. Maybe you should try it out for yourself."

Niko gave a nervous laugh. "I've already ruined enough lives. I don't need to ruin more."

Mallorie stepped out sometime later to tell them dinner was ready. They had minestrone soup and salad since Mallorie was busy with the baby and because the soup was simple. It wasn't as bad as the last dish she made. Niko felt bad for admitting it, but Mallorie's cooking skills were far from top notch, but at least she was trying and kept Roman away from the Burger Shot. He even noticed that his cousin had lost some weight since he married.

"It's just a little something I put together," she said. "I hope you don't mind."

"Mallorie is still practicing her cooking skills," Roman teased.

His wife's eyes narrowed and she gave him a playful jab to his stomach.

"Oh please, as if  _you're_  starving."

"Hey, that's a low blow, Mallorie."

She gave Roman a sly smile and took a sip of lemonade.

Niko thought most couples argued after the baby was born, but Roman and Mallorie seemed to be getting along fine. He had to admit, he thought they would have separated by now. It was good to see they were still together. Niko couldn't keep Roman in line forever and Mallorie seemed more up for the task than he was. That poor woman had a long road ahead of her.

After dinner Roman and Niko went outside again while Mallorie tended to the baby. Niko didn't like the fact that she was stuck inside while they were outside, but Mallorie was starting to withdraw towards the end of dinner anyway. Maybe she wanted to be left alone.

"So cousin, have you thought about working for Bellic Enterprises full-time?" Roman asked.

"I have."

Six months earlier, Niko had given up his life of crime for good, but now he was becoming bored. After giving it much thought, he decided to take up Roman's offer of becoming a full-time employee at the cab depot. Even though he hated the thought of dealing with annoying passengers, it was at least an honest living and he could go to bed with a clear conscience.

"Well don't keep me waiting, man, tell me."

Niko sighed. "Yes, I'll come join you."  _I know I'll regret this someday..._

"Great! You're the second employee I've hired today."

"You hired someone else today?"

"Nice young girl by the name of Lilian. She's an Indian."

"Native American!" Mallorie called from the kitchen window.

Roman turned his attention back to Niko. "Right, Native American. Can't remember what tribe though."

Mallorie called out from the window again, "Lakota!"

"Uh, yeah Lakota."

Niko didn't know much about the Indigenous people of this country, except that they didn't exactly receive the best treatment. He remembered the western flicks that came on back in the old country. For a while, he was confused about Indians and Native Americans until he actually went to India. He had wondered at one point, what Indians thought about Native Americans.

"So when does she start?"

"Tomorrow, same as you."

"Thanks for letting me know ahead of time, cousin," Niko replied sarcastically.

"No problem. Now, how about we go out and do something?" Roman said, getting up.

Niko raised a brow. "Shouldn't you be here with Mallorie? I don't think she will like you running off like that."

"Yeah, you're right. She'll probably rip my head off."

* * *

It was early the next morning when Niko finally got home. He dragged himself into the apartment that was once Playboy's and collapsed on the bed. He buried his face in a pillow, wondering if maybe he was getting too old to be staying out all night and getting busted up in fights. Well, at least it was mostly him on the winning end. He went to teach some scumbag a lesson the night before and it wasn't like the prick was going to stand there and let him.

How long would he keep at this though? Not even he could answer that, but at least he was doing good with the only skills he possessed. No one knew what he was doing and he'd rather keep it that way. The last thing he needed was Roman to make a joke or lecture him or both.

He rolled onto his back and shut his eyes. He was almost asleep when his phone began to go off. He groaned and pulled a pillow over his face. Why couldn't people just let him be for one fucking day? When the ringing persisted, he grabbed his phone and answered.

"Yeah?" He said groggily.

"Cousin, where are you? I thought you'd be at the office by now."

_Fuck…_

Niko sighed. "Sorry, cousin, I'll be there soon."

He hung up and dragged himself out of bed. As he threw on a fresh pair of clothes, he wondered how he could have forgotten he was supposed to be at the depot. It didn't matter now, he figured. He stopped off at a convenient store and purchased an energy drink before he went to Roman's cab office.

The new cab office and depot was located near Brucie's garage. Niko wondered why Roman didn't just buy another one in a nicer part of the city, but then again, that would be more than they couldn't afford. Roman had kept the old cabs with the new Cavalcades. The new employees had to use the old ones until they could be fully trusted with the SUVs.

Niko parked the Sabre around the back of the depot and got out. On the other side of the parking lot was a familiar looking orange Blista.

He entered the office and found Roman talking with the same girl he had helped out the day before. She wasn't wearing formal clothes, but much more casual ones. Instead of her red jacket and shirt, she wore a black Love Fist t-shirt over a white long sleeve with ripped jeans and tennis shoes. Instead of wearing her hair down, it was pulled back into a ponytail.

How old was this girl? Niko thought as he looked her over. However old she was, she wasn't old enough for him.

Roman handed her the car keys to a cab and turned his attention to Niko.

"Niko, there you are! I want you to meet your fellow co-worker. Lily, this is my cousin, Niko. Niko this is Lily Bedard."

She smiled at him and stuck out her hand. Even though she was being friendly, he could see that she was nervous. "Hi Niko, I do believe we've met before." When she spoke he thought he heard a slight accent in her voice. Probably from someplace north, close to Canada.

He gingerly took her hand and was amazed at how soft it was. "We have. So I guess your job interview was with my cousin."

"Yep! Thank you again for helping me."

Roman looked at them both in astonishment. "You two have met before?"

"She was in a bit of trouble and I helped her out."

"Small world," Roman said.

"I'll say," Lily replied. "Well, I guess I should get started." She looked at the key to see what number she had. "Cab number 8, got it. I'll see you two this afternoon!" With that, she left the office.

"See you, Lily," Roman called after her. "And don't wreck!"

Roman turned back to Niko.

"So what cab do I get?" Niko asked.

Roman made his way to the keys hanging on the board and grabbed one with the number 4 on it. He tossed them at Niko, who almost didn't catch them.

"Come on, you gotta have better reflexes than that!" Roman said.

"I didn't sleep well," Niko admitted.

"You alright? Can you still drive?"

"Of course I can. The army used to keep us up for days, so I'm used to it." He said.

"You're not in the army anymore, cousin. Anyways, have fun, but not too much fun. I know how you can get! And cousin, she has a nice pair don't you think?"

Niko rolled his eyes and flipped off his cousin. As he walked out into the garage he couldn't help but think that some things would never change.


	2. Bikes and Babes

**Broker**

Lily Bedard entered the house that she shared with her cousin, Janie. She dropped her keys into the glass bowl and hung her coat on the rack. She shuffled into the kitchen all the while she rubbed her sore back. She imagined a job where all you did was sit all day and drive people around would be easy, but instead her hips and back cramped. It reminded her why she didn't drive to South Yankton very often. That and seeing the reservation her extended family lived on was depressing.

She rummaged through the fridge for anything to eat, looking for anything that wasn't meat or at least beef. Growing up on a ranch and watching animals being slaughtered on a daily bases ruined most meat for her. At least beef and pork. She ate fish, chicken, and wild game, but deer were not exactly hoping around the city.

She settled on a cup of vanilla pudding that was meant for Janie. Her cousin would throw a fit over it, but Lily was too tired to care. She could always buy her a large pack of them anyways.

With a spoon in her mouth and a pudding cup in her hand, she made her way up the stairs. In her room, she tossed her purse on her bed and went straight to her desk. She opened her laptop and checked her emails and MyRoom page. She thought about following the rest of her friends to LifeInvader, but it looked boring and lame. MyRoom was at least bright and colorful.

As she checked her emails she noticed a few messages from two people she grew up with in Madison, Liberty. The first one was from Amber Mason, her former BFF. After Lily moved away to the city, the two friends drifted apart. Lily tried to save the friendship, but it was hard to do that when the other person put little effort into it. She gave up after some time.

She opened the email to see what her old friend wanted.

 _I need your help._  It began.

 _Oh sure_ , Lily thought bitterly,  _you only contact me when you want something_.

_I haven't heard from my sister in over a year and I'm worried about her. I heard a rumor that she was somewhere in Alderney running with bikers. Could you please look into it for me?_

Lily wanted to tell her that if Amber really cared she'd do it herself, but she didn't. As always she couldn't say no to someone who needed help. She missed Jessie anyways.

She replied, telling her friend she'd do it. Even if she really didn't want to.

The next email was from Benny, a boy who wanted to go out with her in high school. She never liked him in that way and always made it perfectly clear. Some people could never take a hint.

_Com home. U n I both no u cant mak it n the sity. If you com back Ill give u a noter chanse._

Lily cringed at his atrocious spelling and grammar.

_Dearest Benny,_

_Go fuck yourself and learn how to spell._

_Lilian._

She sent the reply and blocked his email and MyRoom.

"You asshole." A voice said,

Lily jumped and spun around in her chair. Janie was in the doorway, holding a bag, with a disapproving look. She hated when Janie snuck up on her.

"You took my last pudding cup."

"I'll buy you more," Lily said.  _Just like I always do..._

"That's beside the point," Janie said. She dropped the bag on Lily's bed. "Here, I got you a tuna salad from the deli. I'm going to go eat some Burger Shot. Enjoy your rabbit food." Janie turned and left the room.

Lily rolled her eyes and opened the plastic container that held her salad. Hearing the TV come on downstairs, she decided to join her cousin. Lately, she could feel the distance between them. Maybe spending more time together would mend their friendship.

They sat on the couch together as they watched Weasel News. Not one of Lily's favorite sources for information. She listened as they ranted about immigrants, new laws, gun control, and other topics. There was one report that caught her attention, though.

" _It appears that Liberty City has its own vigilante_ ," the News Caster began. " _Multiple reports of a man stopping muggings, assaults, and kidnappings have been documented across the city. One woman from Broker reported that the man had an Eastern European accent and stopped a mugger from stealing her purse._ "

A middle-aged woman appeared on the TV with a mic pointed at her. " _He showed up in the nick of time wielding a ball bat. He cracked the mugger over the head and gave me my purse back. Good thing too, because my crack was in there!_ "

" _When asked his opinions on the matter, the chief of police, Tony Rossi, had this to say._."

" _These damn immigrants steal jobs no one wants and now this guy has the nerve to take ours? Eh, listen, buddy, we don't take kindly to you people thinkin' you're above the law._ " The bloated cop on TV said.

Janie turned the volume down on the TV. "That idiot will get himself killed if he's not careful." She commented.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.

"That idiot playing hero," Janie said, extending her hand out toward the TV. "He's gonna mess around with the wrong people and get killed."

"He's doing a better job than the police right now."

"Well, I don't think it's a good idea."

"It's not you going out night after night, so why do you care?"

Janie shrugged. "I just don't agree with it, that's all."

Lily didn't want to argue with her cousin about the subject anymore and went back to her salad. She was halfway finished when she noticed that Janie didn't bother to ask about her first day as a cab driver. She reflected on the day's events or lack thereof.

It was a slow day, something she was thankful for. Part of the job was interacting with people and pretending she gave a shit about them when all she really wanted was the tip. The nonsocial part of her wanted to shrivel away and hide from them, but she had to get over her anxiety if she wanted that paycheck. Which she needed desperately.

So far she had a sweet old lady who was a big tipper, a man who never shut up on his cell phone, another man who gave her the creeps, and two frat boys who whispered about her "awesome rack"(she found it to be disgusting and flattering at the same time).

She sort of liked her job. Her boss was nice, most of the employees were as well, and the pay was decent. The only thing she hated about her job was Mohammad. The asshole had the nerve to yell at her all because she parked in what was apparently his spot behind the garage!

It didn't matter anymore she guessed. The day was almost over and another one would begin. Before she knew it, a week had passed without much trouble.

* * *

On a Sunday she drove out to Alderney as she had promised Amber, but she didn't know where to begin her search. Bikers were crawling all over the state and they all frightened her. She supposed she could talk with one of them, but it could go both ways. They would find her to be suspicious and kill her or they would be friendly and give up the info willingly.

She parked across the street from a local biker bar. The hard rock music was so loud that it spilled out into the streets. Two burly men in leather vest threw open the front door and tossed a drunk out on his ass. The scene was making her question her decision to come all the way out here.

In the parking lot sitting on their bikes were two men, one black, the other white, wearing Lost MC jackets.

Lily thought about approaching them, but anxiety kicked in again. She gripped the steering wheel hard enough to turn her knuckles white. She took deep breaths to calmed her nerves and mentally prepare herself.

_I can do this._

She slowly stepped out of her Blista and made her way to the bikers. One of them was lighting a cigar and the other drank whiskey straight from the bottle.

"Excuse me," Lily said. She didn't sound as confident as she had hoped.

They both looked up and the white biker eyed her up and down, grinning.

"Hey, Clay, check out Pocahontas. Hey, baby, you here to party with The Lost?"

Lily froze in place. This was a bad idea.

The African American who was called Clay took a long drag from his cigar before answering. "I don't mess with chicks young enough to be my daughter, but I'll make an exception for her."

"I'd like to shoot my arrow into her wigwam."

Clay nudged the other guy in the arm. "That's racist, Terry."

Lily gathered her courage and spoke again. "Gentlemen, I'm looking for someone. I was told you might know of her whereabouts."

Clay and Terry exchanged glances before looking back at her.

"We ain't narks, lady," Terry said.

"Go look somewhere else." Added Clay.

"It's important that she's found. Her name is Jessie Mason and I'm an old friend."

"We said-," Clay paused. "Wait, you know Jessie?"

Lily nodded.

"Well shit, why didn't you say so?" Terry said.

She wasn't sure by Terry's tone if he was being sarcastic or not.

"Do you know where I can find her?" Lily asked again.

Clay took another drag and exhaled smoke through his nose. "Yeah, we know where she is or at least our friend does." He jerked his thumb towards the club. "Go inside and ask for Johnny. He'll tell you where she is."

"Thank you, both." She said.

She walked by them and towards the building that blasted L.C.H.C.. Once they thought she was out of listening distance, Terry said. "You don't see a woman with tits like those and a nice ass to match every day."

Inside, the bar was so loud that she couldn't hear herself think. A glass bottle came soaring at her, but she managed to duck in time for it to smash against the wall behind her. Women wearing leather studded bikinis were stuck in cages, grinding on poles as men around them whistled and howled. A heavyset biker with a Santa beard eyed her like prey. Between the smoke choking her and the deafening music, she wanted to scream.

She finally made it to the bar and was greeted by a busty blonde behind the counter.

"What can I get you, hon?" The women shouted over the music.

"I'm looking for Johnny!" Lily shouted back.

"Who?"

"JOHNNY!"

"Which Johnny?"

"I don't know, Clay said to ask for Johnny."

"Ooohh you mean Johnny K. Yeah, he's here." The woman took a deep breath and called out to a man with his back towards the bar. "Hey, Johnny!"

The man who she assumed to be Johnny spun around in his seat and approached the two women. He wore a black leather jacket with a patch that read  _Klebitz_ and President underneath. His head was shaved, his nose crooked, and he had a horseshoe mustache. His shoulders were broad and he had many visible scars on his face. She'd hate to be the person who went up against him.

"What do you want, Tammy?" He asked the bleach blonde.

"This girl here was lookin' for ya."

Johnny's eyes flickered from Tammy to Lily and he raised a brow. "You don't look like you belong here. Let's step outside."

She followed the biker out the back door and into the alley. Once the door shut behind her, she felt instant relief from the music and the smoke. It was short-lived, however, when Johnny practically towered over her.

"Are you really this stupid?" Johnny asked.

Confused, she replied. "What are you talking about?"

"You followed someone you barely knew into a dark alley. Someone who could easily overpower someone as tiny as you."

"I.. I guess I didn't think about it," Lily admitted. She felt embarrassed and questioned why she was here for the tenth time.

"Yeah well, not thinkin' will get you killed. You better wise up now, kid."

She gave a nod and took his advice into consideration.

"Now, what do you want?" He asked as he crossed his arms.

"I'm looking for Jessie. They said to ask you about it."

Johnny lowered his arms. "Yeah, I know Jessie. What do you want with her?"

"Her sister, Amber, is looking for her. She said it was urgent." Lily explained.

"Well, why can't her sister look for Jessie herself?"

 _Why can't you just answer my damn questions?!_ "Because Amber is a lazy bitch." Lily never realized how true that statement was until she said it out loud.

Johnny laughed at her words. "Yeah, that's just what Jessie would say. If you want to find her, she has a bike shop west of Acter. The shop is light blue on the outside. She should be there today."

"Thanks, Johnny." She turned to leave when Johnny called out to her.

"If you see her, tell her I'll swing by later."

She gave a nod and walked back to her car.

The bike shop was where Johnny had said it was. The garage door was open and surrounded by bikes and women who all wore jackets that said: "Steel Roses MC" with a rose wrapped in barbed wire in the center the words.

Lily was stopped at the entrance of the garage by a tall, heavy set, woman with half a head of red hair.

"What do you want?" The woman croaked.

"I'm looking for Jessie."

"Who's askin'?"

"Lily Bedard."

"Wait out here."

Lily waited outside for what seemed like forever. She shivered as icy wind whipped her hair into her face. The other women staring at her made her feel uncomfortable. Some were scrawny, some average built, others were as big and brawny as the men she encountered at the bar.

Finally, a dark-haired woman stepped out in a white shirt with a black vest over and a pair of jeans that looked painted on. Her tag read President and had a small skull patched on it.

Her face was angular and she had green almond-shaped eyes. In another life, she would have been a model.

"Lily Bedard, is it really you?" Jessie said, leaning against the doorway.

"In the flesh," Lily replied.

"Shit, it's been like what, four years since I seen you last?"

"Actually, it's ten."

Jessie pushed herself off the doorway. "Holy shit, ten years? Well goddamn, I guess I'm more out of touch than I thought. Come on in."

Lily followed Jessie into her small office. Jessie offered her a drink, but Lily declined. She sat down in an old office chair and looked around the room. Behind Jessie's desk was a picture of her and Amber as small children. It was hard to believe that long ago those two were close.

"So, what brings you here?" Jessie asked.

"Your sister wanted me to find you."

"Aw, you didn't want to see me yourself?" The older woman teased.

"I missed you, but I never had an idea of what had happened to you."

Lily thought back to the night that Jessie had run away. She was staying the night with Amber when the fight between Jessie and her parents broke out. She could still hear the screaming, crying, yelling, and smashing of dishes. She never knew who it was that started the fight because she and Amber were in the closet holding each other and crying. The fighting stopped once they heard the loud crack of someone being slapped followed by Jessie's muffled sobs. Jessie took off later that night with an Angel of Death member. No one heard from her again.

She wondered if Jessie was thinking about that night, too.

Jessie leaned back in her office chair, with her boots propped on the desk. She took out a joint and lit up. "Aw ain't that precious. Glad to see someone out there misses me. So what's been new with you?"

"I moved to Liberty City a few years ago and just started working for a cab service, before that I worked in a deli. What about you?"

Jessie slowly exhaled the smoke she'd been holding in. She coughed and waved the smoke away. "Let's see, well I pissed off the Angels of Death some years back when I convinced their 'old ladies' to join me and we formed the Steel Roses MC. Then I pissed off some of the Lost MC when I stole their president's bike, then when he came looking for said bike, I thought he was cute and gave it back. Now we fuck each others' brains out. Oh did I mention I'm president of the Steel Roses and I own my own bike shop?"

"Impressive," Lily said.

"Yeah, I like to think so. We try to stay legit, but sometimes the gals and I gotta get our hands dirty for club business."

Lily didn't know what to say to that, so Jessie kept talking. "Yeah, I got my sisters, my shop, and I got my man. I don't need anything else. I should introduce you to Johnny K. sometime."

"I believe we already met. He's the one who told me where to find you."

Jessie smiled. "Yeah, he's a keeper alright. Ain't he cute?"

Lily thought he was too rough looking to be considered "cute".

"Yeah," Lily said. "He sure is something."

Jessie closed her eyes with the smile still on her face. "He's so fucking good to me and when we fuck, we cum together. That's awesome ain't it?" She took another hit. By now, Lily could tell she was losing Jessie. When it came to weed, Jessie was a lightweight. "You got a man yet?"

Lily laughed. "Me? No, not really. Then again I haven't really tried. Dating in the city has a completely different meaning than in the country and I never leave the house so there's that."

Jessie sat up, reached into her pocket, and pulled out her cell phone. "Here, put your number in my phone and I'll call you sometime. We can hang."

Lily added her number and slid it back to her friend. Jessie looked it over and nodded.

"I hate to cut this short, but I need to go," Lily said as she stood up.

"Ah man, well see ya around."

"Yeah, see ya."

Before Lily could place her hand on the door handle, a brunette threw open the door, almost hitting her. She yelped and jumped back as the rough looking woman stormed towards Jessie.

"Jessie, that Ashley chick is outside again."

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Oh please, I can snap that dope whore in two and she knows this. What the fuck does she want?"

"She has a gun!" The brunette said.

Jessie swore under her breath and put out her joint.

Lily's heart quickened in pace. Some gun wielding tweaker was going to storm in and shoot up the place!

"Linda, lock this door and protect Lily. Don't come out until I say so."

Linda nodded. "Got it, boss."

She was too high for this bullshit.

As much as she liked Johnny, Jessie often wondered if the relationship was worth it. Ashley Butler had been a thorn in her side for the last two months. No matter how many times Johnny told her to go away and leave them alone the stupid bitch never took the hint. She always begged for money or another chance. She promised rehab and fidelity, but that bullshit was never going to happen.

Just as Linda had said, Ashley was outside with a pistol, ranting, and raving like the stupid dope whore that she was. It was obvious that Ash was high as a kite.

"Go home, Ashley," Jessie said

Ashley paced like a caged animal and waved the gun around for intimidation. Didn't this bitch realize with one snap of her fingers she could have the girls all over her?

"I want to see Johnny," Ashley demanded.

"He's not here. Now put away the gun or I'll have my girls open fire on you."

"Try it, Mason!" Ashley said. "You made a pact with the Lost and if you haven't forgotten I'm still a member."

"Killing you would be worth it."

Leather clad women stood behind Jessie with weapons and glares. Ashley's eyes narrowed and she kept the gun on Jessie. Jessie reached out snatched the gun from Ashley's hands. It felt lighter than it should have been. When she ejected the clip she found it to be empty.

Jessie let out a laugh and said. "Look at this ladies," Jessie held up the clip for all of them to see. "It's empty! She brought an unloaded gun to a fight!"

The women followed Jessie in the laughter and mocking.

A motorcycle could be heard as it got closer to the shop. Jessie knew it was Johnny arriving just in time.

"Sounds like Johnny. You best clear out before he finds you here." Jessie warned.

"This isn't over," Ashley said before she turned and walked away.

Jessie had one of her girls fetch Lily when Ashley was out of sight. Johnny, Clay, and Terry rode into the parking lot that same moment.

Johnny eyed the gun in her hand. "What's the gun for?"

Jessie shrugged. "Using the Angels as target practice."

"Save a few for us. By the way, Malc said he'd be here with his rice rocket. Said it ain't workin' right." Johnny said.

"That's because it's not a good quality American bike."

Johnny and his friends agreed with her.

Lily stepped outside, eyes as round as saucers. "Is that crazy lady gone?"

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Yes, we ran her off."

For as long as Jessie could remember Lily had always been timid and shy. When trouble came around, she was nowhere in sight. She never tried to step on toes and always tried to please everybody which made her a target for bullies.

Lily it seemed, hadn't grown out of that and it bothered Jessie a lot more than it should have.

"I think I should go home, but it was nice seeing you again," Lily said as she hugged her old friend goodbye. She bid the three bikers she'd met at the bar goodbye and walked to her car.

She was halfway across the street when Jessie called out to her, "Remember to call me so we can hang out!"

 _I guess I'm going to be making friends whether I want to or not._  She thought. But it did feel nice to interact with other people besides family or customers.


	3. Steal the Night

 

The alarm went off at four am as it had been for last week. Niko lifted his hand and slammed it down on the snooze button. He blinked away his blurry vision and slowly got out of bed.

He splashed cold water on his face to help wake up and grabbed a towel. Looking into the mirror he noticed it was almost time to shave again and his hair had grown out some. It wasn't too long, but enough that he could run his fingers through it.

He stepped out of the bathroom just in time for his phone to go off. Roman was displayed on the caller ID. Wondering what he could want so soon he answered it.

"Niko, I need you to open the office today. We're at the hospital with Mijo."

Concern set in. "Is he alright?"

"He has a high fever, but I don't know how long we'll be. You still have the spares keys, yes?"

"Sure, cousin, I have them. Call me if you need anything or if something changes."

"I will and thanks, NB."

He hung up and grabbed his jacket.

Outside it was starting to snow. His windshield was frosted over so he had to wait while it thawed from the heater.

While he waited for the car to warm up his mind drifted to back home, the war, and Kate. The later stayed on his mind more often than not. He didn't want to forget her even though the pain and guilt were too much for him at times. He missed the way her red hair shown in the sun, her laugh, her cheerful voice on the other end of the phone, he even missed her lectures.

But there was no use in dwelling on the past was there? At least that's what Roman kept telling him, but no matter how many times he tried, he always thought back to Kate and the wedding.

"Maybe that is the issue." Roman once said. "You keep comparing other women to Kate and it's blinding you from finding happiness."

"Maybe..." was Niko's only reply.

The orange Blista was parked behind the depot by the time he got there. It wasn't time for her shift to start yet, but there she was sitting in her car with a book in her hand and the dome light on. Curious, he went over and tapped on her window. She looked up from her book and rolled it down.

"What are you doing here so early?" He asked.

She shut her book and set it aside. Even in the poor lighting, he could see she was shivering. "My cousin thought it would be funny to reset my alarm clock and I thought I was late. I've been here for the last fifteen minutes." She said sheepishly.

"Well, you can come inside and warm up if you like. I'm opening the office for Roman while he's taking care of family matters."

"Thanks," she replied.

Niko unlocked the door and flipped on the lights. The fluorescent bulbs flickered to life and illuminated the room. He held the door open for her and she thanked him again. Her shift didn't start for another half hour so she read quietly while he started up the computer. Not knowing what else to do he checked his emails.

Once the room started to warm, she took off her coat revealing a black low cut, long sleeve shirt and a blue and red beaded necklace with a round wooden medallion. From a distance, it looked as if something was carved into it, though he couldn't tell what it was.

Minutes passed in awkward silence. He tried to think of something to say to the girl, anything to break the ice. Nothing came to mind, though. Besides, she was reading and he didn't want to disturb her.

Sometimes he glanced her way when she would flick her long, black hair aside. Most girls and women in Liberty City wore their hair in a bun or kept it short, but this girl let her hair down and unstyled. It was strange, but he kind of liked that. It felt more natural and down to earth. She would run her fingers through her hair on occasion and let it cascade down her shoulders. For a moment he wondered what her hair felt like.

His phone went off, turning his attention away from her. He checked the screen to find Roman had sent him a message.

_Could you do me a favor and print out everyone's work schedules? Everything is on the computer._

He didn't know where the schedules were and even if he did find them, he couldn't figure out the printer. He'd have to try, though. When he couldn't find anything in the documents or figure out the printer he swore under his breath in his native language.

"Are you okay?" The girl asked, looking up from her book.

He'd almost forgotten she was in the room with him. "I'm fine."

"Oh, because it looks like you're having trouble over there."

"I'm not the best with technology." He admitted.

"Maybe I can help?" She said, setting her book aside.

Before he could answer, she was already making her way to the desk and standing beside him. Roman probably wouldn't like that she messed with the computer, but he hadn't told Niko what to do so there was that.

She leaned over and her beaded necklace dangled next to his shoulder. She was standing so close to him that he could smell her perfume. It wasn't strong like Mallorie's, but it was faintly there and it reminded him of the wild berries that grew near his old village.

"So what are we doing?" She asked.

"Looking for the work schedules."

"Oh, that's easy. Just pull up the spreadsheet program."

"Where's that?"

She took control of the mouse and clicked on the Facade icon, then chose the right program.

"Now all you gotta do is print them out." She said. "You know how to use a printer, right?"

He didn't want to admit that he couldn't. When he didn't answer right away she spoke up again.

"Oh… well, I can help you with that, too."

She reached for the package of printer paper on the top shelf, causing her shirt to lift slightly and expose part of her stomach. She pulled her shirt down once she grabbed the paper and set it on the tray. Within a minute she had the printer running and the schedules printed. She took her own work schedule and folded it up neatly, placing it in her purse.

"Thanks," he said.

"No problem. I needed to know what days I was working anyways." She gave a nervous laugh, then added. "So, um… it's Niko right?"

"I am and you are..." He had forgotten her name.

"Lily," she replied.

The name seemed fitting for her. He liked that.

"Sorry, sometimes my memory isn't the best." He said.

She flashed him a quick smile. "It's okay."

More awkward silence.

"Your cousin is always talking about you," Lily said a minute later.

"So I've heard."

She laughed. "He always says you two will take over the world."

"Roman says many things that are not true. He is how you say, a bullshitter."

She laughed again and he liked the way it sounded.

"Where did you come from?" He asked.

She ran her fingers through her hair before answering. "A small town outside of the city called Madison. Population five."

He raised a brow. "There are really only five people in your town?"

"No, I was kidding. There's probably only two-thousand people at most. So what about you, where are you from?"

"Serbia."

"Oh, I see. So, is that like in Russia?"

He sighed. "No, but it's to the southwest of Russia."

"Sorry. Geography wasn't my strong suit in school."

"It's alright."

At that moment the office phone began to ring. She checked her phone and realized her shift had begun. Mohammed stormed into the office and right for Lily as she grabbed the keys to cab eight.

"I thought I told you not to park in my spot!" Mohammed said.

She was too stunned to answer except for an "I'm sorry."

"You better be sorry. You're lucky I find you attractive or else-"

"That's enough, Mohammed! Lily can park anywhere she likes." Niko cut in.

Mohammed shot a glare at Niko, who returned one back.

"Grab a pair of keys and get out," Niko ordered.

Mohammed scoffed. "And who put you in charge?"

"Roman did and I suggest you do as I say or I'll tell him about you sexually harassing one of the employees."

Mohammed opened his mouth to protest, but quickly shut it and did as he was told. He left the office, slamming the door behind him. The loud bang made Niko's head begin to throb with pain. He rubbed his temples trying to dull a headache, but it didn't seem to work. The lack of sleep he'd been having lately didn't help matters either.

"Are you alright?" Lily asked in her soft voice.

Niko looked up and for a moment they locked eyes. Her dark brown eyes were wide with concern.

Her face was round with soft features that were framed by her long hair. A feeling he thought had died inside of him began to resurface as he looked at her.

When he didn't answer her, she spoke up again. "Have you had breakfast?"

"No, I haven't." He finally replied.

She reached into her purse and pulled out a granola bar which suddenly slipped from her hand. She knelt down to retrieve it and when she did, he caught a glimpse of her cleavage and red lacy bra. He quickly looked away, but he could already feel the blood rush to a certain part of his body. The girl was probably no older than twenty, he didn't have any business thinking about her in that way.

When she stood back up, she dusted off the wrapper and placed it on the desk. "Here," she said. "eat this. It's not much, but it should hold you over until noon."

"You don't have to..."

"Don't worry, I have plenty of them in my purse. Anyway, I'm running a bit late. I'll see you later." With that, she turned and left the office.

Niko tried to forget the feeling he had when he looked at her, but it persisted. This had only happened twice in his life, the first time when he was only sixteen and he saw Mila Tadic at the market. The second was Kate…

The best thing he could do was avoid her, but that was going to be difficult when they worked together. Maybe he could convince Roman to give him opposite hours from her, but then he would have to explain to his cousin why he was staying away from her. A cousin who seemed to know Niko better than he knew himself. Knowing he couldn't avoid her, he would have to be cold towards her to keep himself from getting close. It was for the best.

* * *

It was late in the morning when Lily picked up her fourth passenger. He was an elderly, pot-bellied man who was rude the moment he entered the cab. He spoke to her loud and slow as if she was deaf and stupid. She looked at him in confusion.

"Jesus Christ, I bet you don't even speak English." the man said.

"I speak English, sir." She said trying to keep an even temper. She was half tempted to speak to him in Lakota.

"Good. I'm tired of immigrants not willing to learn the damn language." He grumbled.

She took a breath to calm herself. "Sir, I can assure you that I am not an immigrant. I am Lakota."

"Never heard of that country."

She wanted to slam her head on the steering wheel. The moron probably spent all day watching Weasel News and getting paranoid. Probably thought "Injuns" only existed in western movies and were all dead. She wanted to roll her eyes but resisted the urge.

She dropped him off near Lynch Street and was quickly flagged down by another passenger. Two bleach blondes entered her cab as they gossiped away in their Valley girl accents.

"Like, oh my God, are you a real Native American?" the first girl asked.

"Yes, I am," replied Lily.

"That's awesome. Can you talk to animals?" the second girl asked.

Lily let out a laugh. "I wish!"

_I wish I had a dollar for every time I was asked an ignorant question about my race because I would be so rich right now._

She dropped the girls off at the Francis International Airport and they gave her a large tip. Maybe those girls weren't so bad after all and they didn't ask for her picture like some folks around the city often did.

Her day continued as usual. Passengers entered her cab and she dropped them off. It felt never-ending, but she learned early on to shut off her mind during work. She found that thinking too much while on the job wasn't always best. It was times like these that she missed working on her brother, Trigg's, horse ranch.

She missed the smell of hay, the feel of the horses' soft noses, the joy she felt when helping to bring a new foal into the world, but she also missed the peace and quiet. Liberty City was so loud and no one knew when to shut up! She loved the city when she first moved here, but now the flashing billboards, crowded streets, and sirens were taking its toll on her.

She could always go home, but that meant admitting that her stepmother was right. It meant returning with her tail between her legs. Well, fuck that, because she was going to make it. She just didn't know when.

Two days later she was in her living room blaring AC/DC while playing a post-apocalyptic game called Radiation. She was down to her last lockpick when Janie walked through the door carrying bags of groceries. Janie took one look at all the empty Mas Fuego cans scattered in front of her cousin and let out a frustrated sigh. She walked over to the stereo and turned the volume down.

"Honestly, Lily, you're a grown woman. Why do you still play video games?"

"Because it's fun and I'd rather spill pixel blood than real blood," Lily replied, pausing the game.

Janie laughed, "You being violent in real life is hard to imagine. You're too goody-goody to actually hurt anyone. You're also a crybaby."

"I am not a crybaby!"

"Dude, you still cry over a cartoon lion trying to wake up his dead father."

"It was sad!"

"You're never going to get a boyfriend with the way you carry on," Janie said.

"Yeah, well if a guy can't accept me for who I am, then I'd rather be alone."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, you're a strong, independent woman who don't need no man," Janie said as she was walking to the kitchen.

Lily unpaused the game while Janie put away the groceries. Her last lockpick broke, locking her out of the safe. She muttered a swear word under her breath and turned off the console.

She walked into the kitchen and helped put away groceries.

"So, I'm thinking of going to Club Liberty with Bridgette tonight. You wanna come?" Janie said.

 _Oh joy, a crowded area._  "I don't know, the club isn't really my thing."

"Oh come on, you'll love it. Maybe you'll meet a cute guy."

Lily shook her head. "No, I'm okay. I like staying home. Why aren't you going to Maisonette 9 anymore?"

"Bridgette hooked up with that bodyguard in the bathroom and now she's too embarrassed to go back," She replied, placing a can of peas in the cabinet.

"Of course she did."

"Listen, if you don't want to go it's cool, but it won't be the same without you."

Lily felt bad about not going, but she hated clubs. They were too loud and too crowded for her taste.

An hour later, Bridgette arrived at the house, wearing a pair of skin-tight jeans and knee-high boots. Her black coat hugged her curvy body well. Her strawberry blonde hair had recently been cut short in a pixie style that framed her freckled face perfectly. Lily had always envied Bridgette's beauty.

Janie came down the stairs moments later and left with her friend, leaving Lily alone. She thought about playing Radiation again, but after a three-hour gaming session of being killed by raiders and watching her canine companion die, she was burnt out for the night. She could've watched videos on Electric Tit, but it was the same stupid shit on there as always. She flopped on the couch and tried to watch TV, but after seeing too many ads played for her liking, she gave up.

Was she really this boring? Almost everyone she knew thought so. No wonder she couldn't keep very many friends. Maybe that's why Amber stopped speaking to her. And the fact that guys never asked her out on a date, not since she was nineteen. Now she was twenty-two -almost twenty-three- and she hadn't had a serious relationship since she lived in Madison.

She rolled off the couch, picked herself up off the floor, and decided to go for a walk. It wasn't exactly safe for a woman to be out at night, but it wasn't the first time she had done this. Besides, she had a knife and was ready to use it if she had too.

She grabbed her black coat with the fake fur on the hood and went out the door where she was greeted by the icy wind. It stung her face and whipped her long feathery hair, but she didn't mind. The street was deserted and everything was quiet except for a few dogs barking somewhere in the distance. She flipped her hood over her head and stuffed her hands in her pockets as she continued down Sundance Street.

Outlook Park was in her view when she began to feel as if she was being watched. She tried to shake it off, but the feeling persisted her. She stopped and looked over her shoulder as two figures quickly ducked behind the alley. She swallowed and her heart quickened.

She picked up the pace, thinking that she could lose them in the park, but that would soon prove to be a mistake. Lily glanced over her shoulder and realized the two figures were now three and a lot closer. Once she reached Soldiers Plaza, she broke out into a run with the three figures in pursuit.

Lily wasn't the fastest runner which made it easy for one of the figures to catch up to her. Grabbing her by her hair, he jerked her head back. He cupped a hand over her mouth as she tried to scream for help, but she managed to free herself just enough to bite his hand. She stomped his foot and kicked his shin, stunning him long enough for her to break away.

"Get that fucking bitch!" the man ordered while clutching his knee.

The other two men were close behind her and she let out a cry for help, her screams echoing through the neighborhood. Lights came on in the windows of apartments, dogs began to bark, and some of the residents looked out their blinds to see what the commotion was.

For a moment she thought she was going to get away, but then she slipped on a patch of ice and fell to her side, twisting her ankle in the process. She tried to stand, but the pain made it difficult. The two men caught up to her. Each grabbed one of her arms and pinned her down. She let out another scream and thrashed violently.

"Shut this bitch up!" The first attacker whom she had bitten said.

"I'm trying!" The second one replied.

"Someone help me!" Lily cried.

"Oh for fuck sake." The third growled as he backhanded her. He grabbed her by the back of her hair and hit her again. Her cries faded into whimpers.

"Come on, let's get her behind a dumpster and have some fun."

The tears began to fall down Lily's face, knowing this was the end.

* * *

Niko was getting into his car on Chive Street when he heard the screams of a woman. He froze in place and looked around. Another cry for help rang out and he realized it was coming from the park. He ran to the entrance and scanned the area. There, not far from Soldiers Plaza he found three men trying to drag a girl away. Two held her down by her arms, while a third restrained her ankles. He reached into his jacket and felt the familiar cold metal of his combat pistol, ready to use it if they were armed. He broke out into a run and charged the thugs.

The first attacker he went for was the man holding her ankles. Niko grabbed the by his jacket, spun him around and slammed his fist into the attacker's face. The first blow broke the man's jaw, but it didn't stop Niko from delivering another one. The attacker crumbled to the ground clutching his face. By now the other two thugs were aware of what was happening and dropped the girl like a wet cloth. The second attacker went for him with a knife. He swung it at Niko, but he dodged it in time, grabbed the man by the wrist, and disarmed him. He twisted the second attacker's arm and hit it hard enough that he heard the satisfying snap of bone. Niko finished off the second attacker with a few stabs to the lower back and gave him a kick to the center of his chest, knocking the man to the ground.

A gun went off and Niko spun around to find the third attacker had a pistol drawn, but as before, he quickly launched forward and disarmed the third attacker, using the man's own weapon against him. Niko fired two rounds into the thug's chest and he dropped to the pavement, soaking the grass with his blood.

Niko's breathing evened and his adrenaline slowly started to fade. Behind him, he heard soft muffled cries. He turned to find the girl on her knees, hands over her face, and her body shaking. Seeing the long black hair, feathered earrings, and familiar coat, he realized who she was.

"Lily," he said softly.

The girl looked at him, with tears rolling down her delicate face. Her nose had been bleeding and her bottom lip had a small cut. The right side of her face was red from where they had hit her.

"Lily," he repeated. "It's okay. It's me, Niko. Are you alright?"

Her sobs began to die down as she tried to speak. "My a...ankle… it hur...hurts to move it."

He knelt down beside her. "Which one?"

"My left one."

He gently took her ankle and applied pressure. When she yelped, he stopped. "It's not broken, but it is sprained. Come on, we'll get you home." He looped her arm around his neck and helped her to his feet. When he did, he felt a sharp pain in his right side but ignored it.

"My car isn't too far from here," he said.

As they made their way to the car, Niko's mouth suddenly went dry and he could taste copper. By the time they made it to the Sabre, his adrenaline was completely gone and the pain hit him at full force. He clutched his side and almost lost his balance. Lily caught his arm before he could fall.

Lily's eyes drifted down to where he was holding his side and her hand flew to her mouth.

"Niko, you're bleeding!"

She was right. Blood was seeping through his fingers and had been soaking through his blue golf jacket and down the side of his jeans. He was beginning to feel light headed and felt the familiar burning sensation of a gunshot wound.

Lily rushed to his side and helped him around to the passenger side of his car.

"What are you doing?" he groaned.

"Getting you to the hospital!"

Her voice was becoming muffled and his vision was fading. He vaguely remembered her fishing around his jacket for the car keys. He wanted to stop her but found he didn't have the strength.

"Just hold on, Niko!" He heard a familiar voice call out to him.

"Kate… is that you?" Why was she here?

Soon, everything faded into black.

* * *

Lily followed the stretcher as far she was allowed. She answered the doctor's questions the best she could. Niko was still unconscious, but he was alive. Barely.

Once they passed the double doors, she couldn't go any further. A nurse stopped her and offered to look her over and call a relative. Lily agreed and followed the woman to another room.

A half hour later, she was waiting at the front desk for Janie, when Roman rushed in.

"My cousin, Niko Bellic, was brought in here a while ago."

The receptionist looked up from her computer. "And you are..?"

"Roman Bellic. We got a phone call that he was rush here."

Lily sat quietly and stared at her lap, too afraid to say something. He would probably blame her, she couldn't help but think. She didn't blame him if he did and she deserved it.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked to her left. Roman was sitting beside her, looking concerned. She searched his face for any trace of anger but didn't find any much to her relief. 

"You alright?" He asked.

She gave a slow nod.

"Good. I want to thank you for saving my cousin."

She could feel her throat tightening. He shouldn't be thanking her. It was all her fault.

"But if I hadn't left the house, then those… those … men wouldn't have tried… I shouldn't have left the house. You shouldn't be thanking me… it's all my fault." she choked out.

Roman sighed. "Listen, maybe it wasn't the smartest decision you made, but my cousin isn't one to let something like that happen to you or anyone else."

 _But I'm not worth saving!_ She tried to swallow back a sob, but it escaped her anyways. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

Someone was dying on an operating table and it was all her fault.

 


	4. Redemption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm struggling with the formatting. I'm used to FF.net's simple doc format and was never good with the <>, but I'll try again in chapter 5. 
> 
> To Matt: Thank you for the review! It keeps me going! :)

Jessie decided she was getting drunk and didn't care that Johnny was coming over. Hell, he'd probably join her as usual. Wasn't that how it always went though? He would come over, they would drink or smoke pot and then they'd head straight for her room. Sometimes they didn't make it that far. She wondered if that was going to be all their relationship would ever be.

She sighed. That wasn't what was bothering her tonight, however. No, it was the news her sister had given her. She didn't know how to process the fact that both of her parents were dead or the fact that they had been for six months without her knowledge.

Since the night her father slapped her all those years ago, she swore she'd never forgive them. She missed them and wanted them back in her life, but her anger and pride wouldn't let her. Now they were dead and buried.

_Well Jessie, you really fucked up_ _this time._

Jessie took another swig then slammed the bottle on the wire spool she used as coffee table. She grabbed her small radio turned it to a Foghat song. She lit a joint, took a hit, and fell back on her dingy couch. She released a billow of smoke and watched as it danced above her. Her eyes slid closed as the music and the high carried her away, making her lose all track of time.

The blaring ZZ Top song drowned out the knocking on her door. She was too lost in her thoughts to know that someone entered and was standing above her. It was only when the volume was suddenly turned down, did Jessie take notice.

She peeked open an eye to find Johnny standing over her.

"Gettin' an early start? You didn't even wait for me," Johnny said.

"Hey, Johnny, " she replied lazily.

He pulled her to a sitting position. She rubbed her bloodshot eyes and motioned for him to sit next to her.

"You really need to be more careful," Johnny said, sitting beside her. "You left the door unlocked with the music loud. Anyone could've walked in here."

"Who are you, my father?" The moment she said it, she felt a stab in her heart. "Never mind, just forget I said that."

"What's wrong? You seem down," he asked before taking a drink of whiskey.

She wondered if he truly cared about her problems. Probably not.

"Ain't nothin' to worry about, Johnny K. Maybe I'll tell you later, but for now," in one swift move, she moved for him and straddled her legs around his lap. "I want to get an early start on more than just my liquor," she purred.

Tossing her vest aside, she peeled off her white t-shirt and unhooked her bra. She placed his rough hands over small breasts while she unzipped his jacket.

"You really don't waste any time, do you?" he said, moving from her breasts to his belt buckle.

"Life's too short, John-boy."

He grinned and snatched her by her hips. "I agree."

Afterwards, they lied on her sheetless mattress, neither speaking. Jessie was curled up with her back against him, thinking about him, thinking about the girls, thinking about anything that wouldn't remind her of what she left back home.

"I know where you can find some quality bikes," Johnny said in the darkness.

She turned to face him. "Do you always have to talk business after pleasure?"

"Not my fault I just now remembered."

"I'll send my girls after them. Where are they?"

"Northern part of Bohan, near that Burger Shot. Be careful, the Deadbeats won't give 'em up easy."

She ignored his warning and said casually, "I just found out my parents died."

"That's heavy." Johnny's way of saying 'I'm sorry for your loss'. He looped an arm around her and pulled her in closer.

"Yeah… I hadn't talked to them in ten years. All because my dad slapped me and my mom did nothing about it. Oh well. Past is in the past and all that."

"Yeah, guess so," he replied.

She didn't know why she had brought it up when all she wanted to do was forget.

Jessie sat up on the mattress and stretched out an arm for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on the bedroom floor. She always had her clothes separated into three piles: clean, sort of clean, and dirty. She dressed and left Johnny alone in her room.

She took a long look at the apartment she had been living in for the last year. It wasn't different than the shitty trailer she grew up in. Same pealing wallpaper, same worn out, stained carpet, trash on the floor, busted couch, tiny TV.

_My parents are looking down on me and must be proud because I'm no better than they were…_

Maybe she'd pay Lily a visit after Johnny left. She heard what had happened to the poor girl a few nights ago. Those bastards were lucky it was that Serb they went up against and not her and the girls. She would have given them a fate worse than death.

* * *

**Algonquin**

It was late in the evening when Niko was finally allowed to leave the hospital. After four days of sleeping in an uncomfortable bed, eating bland food, and being pumped full of morphine, he was ready to go home. But where was home? He had four apartments and none of them were exactly a place he would consider his home. Not even the Old Country.

He entered the apartment that Roman that purchased a year earlier and made his way to the kitchen. Reaching into his coat pocket, he grabbed the painkillers that were prescribed to him and tossed them on the counter. They bounced and rolled to the corner where they would most likely stay until they'd expire. He wouldn't need them or at least that's what he told himself.

He eased himself on to the couch, fighting through the pain as he did. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed his phone and tossed it onto the coffee table.

He turned on the TV and flipped through the channels before coming across an old Western flick. He remembered the film well because his aunt took him and Roman to see it when they were children. They loved it so much that they begged to go back and see it again.  _Red Dead_ was the name of the film if memory served him correctly. Watching it again, he realized he didn't like it as much as he remembered. Everything looked cheesy and over the top, the main character treated his love interest like shit, the Native Americans were clearly white people playing red face. He wondered if they were even accurately portrayed.

When a young Native woman came on screen, Niko's thoughts drifted to Lily. He wondered if she was doing okay after what had happened to her. He hadn't seen her since that night but heard about her getting him to the hospital, paying a portion of his bill. The later made him feel guilty. He had the money to pay for his own expenses. A twenty-something working as a cab driver needed to save every penny she could get. He would have to pay her back once it didn't hurt to move.

As far as he knew, two of the attackers were dead but wasn't sure about the other one. The police had briefly questioned him about the incident, but they didn't seem to really care. He heard from Roman that the girl was questioned as well but the police were not exactly sympathetic towards her.

His phone lit up with Roman's name on the screen and vibrated across the table. Niko reached for it and answered.

"Hey, cousin, how are you feeling?" Roman asked.

Niko felt a sharp pain shoot through his side. "I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine."

"I have been shot in my side. How do you expect me to sound?"

"Sorry I asked."

Niko sighed. "Have you seen the girl?"

"I gave her the rest of the week off. She'll start back tomorrow."

"Good," he replied. He was starting to feel tired and talking only made it hurt more. "Listen, I'll call you later."

"Oh, okay then, I'll see you soon, cousin."

"Yeah, see you."

He ended the call and placed his phone back on the table. As he stared at the ceiling his mind began to wander again as weariness took over his body. His eyes slid closed and the TV's volume grew distant. He dreamed he was sitting on a park bench next to Kate.

* * *

**South Bohan**

"Alright, gimme all the cash outta your wallet!" A mugger, dressed in black with a ball cap demanded as he held up a young couple.

The boyfriend pushed his girlfriend behind him to protect her as the mugger waved a 9mm in their faces. "Come on, man, do you have to do this?"

"Shut the fuck up and hand it over."

The boyfriend reluctantly handed over his wallet as the girlfriend did the same with her purse. The mugger grinned as he snatched their valuables from the boyfriend's hand. The young man looked over the mugger's shoulder and spotted a figure stepping out from the shadows. He took a step back and grabbed his girlfriend's arm, tugging her to follow him as the figure grew closer.

The mugger was too busy looking through the wallet and purse to realize that the figure was swiftly approaching him. He looked up at the young couple and slowly backed away with his gun still drawn on them. When he believed he was at a safe distance, he spun around only to run into the figure. Before he could react, he was disarmed and his head slammed into the side of a brick wall. The mugger slid down the wall, groaning as stars flew across his vision.

He was hauled to his feet and brought to eye level with his assaulter.

"Return their belongings," the figure demanded in an accented voice.

"Screw you, buddy!" The mugger shot back.

The figure slammed the mugger into the wall again and rammed a combat pistol into his chest. "I will not ask again, return their belongings!"

This time the mugger complied as the barrel was pressed hard into his back. He slowly walked back to the couple who had watched the scene unfold before them. He held up the purse and wallet for them and they didn't hesitate to take them back. The couple spun on their heels and ran the opposite direction as the figure dragged the mugger behind the alley.

Niko flung the mugger into the garbage cans. The mugger, afraid of anymore blows Niko planned to deliver, held up an arm for protection.

"Come on, man, I didn't mean nothin' by it! We all gotta make a livin' somehow." The intimidating voice the mugger had used earlier was now gone and in its place was a shaky and frightened one. Niko shined a small flashlight into their face revealing a scrawny punk kid with shaggy brown hair. The boy couldn't have been no older than seventeen or eighteen.

"How old are you?" Niko asked.

The boy glared, refusing to answer.

"I'm not going to hurt you unless you give me a reason".

"Seventeen," the boy answered. "I'm seventeen and this was my first mugging."

Niko helped the kid to his feet. "And it will be your last."

"I need the money."

"So get a job."

The kid rolled his eyes. "Yeah right, like any job around here willing to hire a kid pays a decent wage."

"You're seventeen, you don't need to worry about money."

"You do when your dad is dying from fucking cancer!"

Niko felt a small stab of pity for the boy. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, well… sorrys won't save my dad." The kid said sounding defeated.

"What about your mother?"

"Why the fuck do you care?"

Niko shrugged and turned to leave. "Fine, forget I asked."

As he began to walk away he heard the boy quietly say, "She left when I was little."

Niko stopped and turned to face him again. "What's your name, kid?"

"Eric. What's yours?"

"It's Niko," he replied. He opened his wallet and gave Eric a hundred dollar bill. "Take this and go home."

Eric eyed the money that laid in his open palm suspiciously. He looked to Niko for reassurance that it was okay.

"Go on, kid and don't let me see you around here again. I won't be so nice the next time around."

Eric nodded. "Thanks, Niko. I guess you're not so bad." With that, the boy turned and walked away.

Niko watched him go, hoping he had done the right thing. Who knows, the boy could have been lying to him, but he saw the desperation in his eyes. He knew that look well.

_The land of opportunity has failed its youth._

Once the kid was out of sight, he leaned against the building as the pain in his side returned. He lifted his jacket and shirt to check for blood or a loose stitch. Nothing was out of place. He lowered his shirt and continued walking the streets.

He had made it to the northern part of Bohan with the small Burger Shot in his sights when he spotted a gang of leather-clad women slowly making their way to a cluster of bikes parked on the side of the fast food building. Once the women were close they quickly hopped on the bikes and began to hotwire them. Niko stopped and hid around the corner as he watched them closely. They were brave, he'd give them that much.

The bikes roared to life and the owners of the bikes came running out of the Burger Shot yelling at the women as they rode away. The dark haired woman ahead of the others turned back to ride passed the men and called out, "Fuck you, you A.O.D. motherfuckers!" She raised her middle finger and let out a cackle, speeding away.

Niko realized the owners were probably the Angels of Death and the women were the Steel Roses, an all-female biker gang that showed up. He heard they rarely caused much trouble and that they had made an alliance with the Lost MC or what was left of them.

"Shoot those bitches!" One of the Angels yelled.

The rest of the Angels pulled out their guns and opened fire. It was in that moment three Lost MC members flew past Niko on their choppers and returned the fire on the Angels. He recognized one of them as Johnny, the biker he once worked with a year ago.

"Hey assholes, haven't you ever heard don't hit a lady?" Johnny said.

He watched as some of the Angels got on what little bikes were left behind and rode after the girls. The rest continued their firefight with the Lost.

It wasn't long before he lost interest in the scene that was playing out before him. He turned and walked away from the commotion, back to the shitty apartment that he once used as a hideout.

* * *

**East Hook**

"So, cousin, how's the vigilante business going?" Roman asked a few days later.

Niko was standing by the vending machine in the office. He was about to open a Sprunk can when Roman mention his late night activities. He didn't answer his cousin right away and sipped on his drink.

"It wasn't hard, you know," Roman began when he didn't reply. "The vigilante the news reports about gave some pretty obvious clues it was you."

"You caught me," Niko replied in a deadpan tone.

"Why do it?"

Niko sighed. "I don't know."

The office phone went off at that moment. Roman picked it up and laid it back down on the receiver. It was a bad habit of his whenever he was having a conversation with Niko.

"I know you still feel guilty about what happened at the wedding, but you can't let that control your life."

It was the same old topic that both were tired of talking about. Roman had to get through to his cousin somehow and Niko knew no matter how many times it was brought up, Roman would just be wasting his breath. Neither of them wanted to tell the other that they needed to get over it.

"It was my fault, Roman. No matter what you say, I'll always blame myself." The agitation within him was rising.

The phone went off again and this time Roman answered it, knowing his conversation was going nowhere as usual.

"Bellic Enterprises…. Lily?…. How did that happen?… Alright…. Listen, don't worry about it, I'll send Niko, he can take care of it."

Niko looked up, giving his cousin a questioning look as Roman hung up. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Lily says the cab started smoking before it blew rusty water all over the windshield. Could you go take a look? She's broke down near Perestroika."

Niko gave a nod. "Yeah, I got it."

* * *

Half an hour after she called Roman, Niko arrived in that red and white Sabre that she liked. She shut her book and set it aside as he approached the car. She stepped out while buttoning her coat and limped his way. She was nervous seeing Niko again after the attack. She had paid a portion of his doctor bill. Not much, but enough to show that she was grateful for what he had done for her.

"We have to stop meeting like this," she said.

He stopped and gave her a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, it seems every time we come across each other, I'm in some sort of trouble." When he didn't say anything to that she added, "Thank you for saving me."

He shrugged. "Don't mention it. I was only doing what anyone else would have done."

"That's bullshit. I mean I raised so much hell that people took notice and still turned a blind eye. You were the only one who came to my aid."

Niko shifted from one foot to the other and rubbed the back of his neck. She could tell that praises probably made him uncomfortable. "Yes, well, you're welcome. How's your leg?"

"It's better. I still limp a little, but it's only a sprain. How's your gunshot wound."

"It's better I guess. Come on let's take a look at the cab."

He opened the hood and was met with a cloud of steam. He waved it away and found the problem immediately. The thermostat was stuck shut, making the car overheat and it blew the radiator hose. It was simple to get the thermostat unstuck, but he didn't have the tools with him to fix it. He slammed the hood and called for a tow to take the car back to the depot.

Lily stood off to the side with her hands in her pockets while he was on the phone. As she watched him, her thoughts went back to that day they locked eyes. She saw something in them that she hadn't seen in another person since she was nineteen. But there was something else in his eyes too. Sometimes he would get a far-off look as if he saw something no one else could see. It was the same look her step-brother, Blackie, had when he came home. She remembered Roman once mentioning a war to Niko, but she never looked into which war he was in.

"Didn't you see the emergency light come on?" Niko asked.

She looked at him unsure what he was talking about. "What light?"

"A little light comes on telling you the car is overheating."

"Nothing like that ever came on."

"Great, that means my cousin never does regular maintenance on his cars. Come on, I'll take you back to the office."

She grabbed her purse and book from the cab and followed him to the Sabre. After a few minutes of silence has passed he spoke up again.

"How have things been since that night."

She looked down at the book in her lap and said. "It's getting better. I tried to file a police report, but the cops they sent to speak with me harassed me and said it was my fault. They said I knew better than to be out at night and tried to say I was asking for it."

"Useless pigs," he muttered.

"I've never felt so ashamed."

They came to a stop light where he said, "Lily, you have done nothing wrong. There is no reason to feel ashamed."

She looked his way and gave a bit of a smile. "Thank you. So far you're the only person who hasn't given me hell about that night. I'm really sorry you were shot."

"It wouldn't be the first time."

The light turned green and they continued on to their destination. She wanted to ask about the first time he was shot, but it felt wrong to bring up his war history. Blackie would always become anxious when someone asked him about his tour overseas. She knew it would be the same for Niko.

They made it to the garage fifteen minutes later. Niko explained what had happened and then went on to lecture Roman about keeping proper maintenance on the cabs. It was going to fall on deaf ears; he didn't know why he bothered. Lily's shift what almost over which meant it was pointless to get another cab. Roman gave her the rest of the day off. The sun was starting to set so Niko offered to walk her to her car. After what happened a week ago she wasn't taking any risk and accepted. They reached the parking lot when he noticed the title of the book she was reading.  _Red Dead_ by Ja. Marston.

"So, is the movie as good as the book?" He asked.

"The movie is absolute garbage! It's nothing like the book, which is beautifully written by the way. The movie is a stereotypical shoot 'em up western that doesn't age well at all. The book is much better and is about a man, Jacob Marshal, who use to be an outlaw and then he decides to walk away from it all when the woman he loves begs him to lay down the gun." He noticed the light in her eyes when she said it. "He does, but his past comes back to haunt him and it threatens his family. Then he goes on a quest for redemption."

"I don't believe in redemption," he said, quietly.

They stopped at her car and she turned to face him. "Why?"

"Because… because I just don't."

"Everyone deserves a second chance."

He shook his head. "Not everyone, trust me on that."

She gave him a curious look. "You're talking about yourself, aren't you?"

"Maybe,"

She flashed him a smile and said, "You can't be all that bad if you risked your life for someone you barely knew. For what it's worth, I think you're a good person."

It was something he had heard before, but hearing her say it gave him that feeling again and he didn't know what to do with it. He wanted to tell her that she didn't know what she was talking about, that if she knew half the things he did in this country alone, she would run for the hills. This girl was too young and naive to fully understand how the world worked, but maybe that was why he was drawn to her. Seeing the way she looked as the evening sun was setting behind her, her feathery black hair pulled back, and her feather earrings gently blowing in the wind made the feeling stronger.

 _This isn't right,_ he thought.  _I just lost Kate. How can I begin to have these feelings again?_

He told her goodbye and turned away. She called out a thank you and he raised a hand without turning to look at her. As he walked back to the office he questioned why he had an infatuation with that girl.

_Get her out of your head, Bellic. Don't forget the last time you allowed someone to get close._

The voice in his head was right and he hated that.


	5. Another Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lakota words in this chapter:
> 
> Hotah = Strong
> 
> Tókheškhe yaúŋ he? = How are you?
> 
> Hau(pronounced how) = Hello

**Chapter 5:**

**Another Year**

 

Growing up Lily never knew her birth mother. From what her father had told her, her mom had died two weeks after Lily was born due to heart complications. She figured that giving birth at forty-six didn't help matters either. At the time of her birth her bothers were much older than her. Trigg was seventeen, Jace was fifteen, but even with the large age gap between them, she remained close with her brothers.

For three years her father, Hotah, struggled to raise her. Not because of financial reasons, he simply didn't know how to raise a girl. Thankfully(mostly for him), he met Annette. Annette. had a boy of her own, Blackie, who quickly became friends with her brothers. Not long after that, her father and Annette married, before moving from South Yankton to Liberty where they purchased land and started a small farm. It was a place Lily never thought she could leave. As the years went by her brothers married their high school girlfriends which gave Lily more female figures in her life. Trigg and his wife, Yasmine, started a small horse ranch, a place that become a second home for Lily. Jace and his wife moved back to North Yankton, and Blackie signed up for the Marines.

Lily's school years were average. She was picked on occasionally, but for the most part she was left alone to read books or paint. She was a loner until sixth grade when the Masons moved down the road from her family's farm. The Masons were considered by society's standards "white trash", but Lily never saw them that way. The parents sometimes argued, but for the most part, they were nice. Amber had quickly become Lily's best friend. Jessie was like a big sister to her. For the first two years of their friendship, they looked up Jessie, following her everywhere she went. Jessie didn't seem to mind, though. It wasn't until she ran away, that things started to go down hill for the Mason family. The two friends remained close, hearing from Jessie once in awhile. It wasn't until after high school, that their friendship fell apart.

Lily went to school and become a veterinary technician. Working for the local vet was rewarding at times, but having to assist in putting animals to sleep for a year took it's toll on her and she quit. Amber got a job at a local diner to help to get her parents out of debt. She reconnected with a high school boyfriend, he knocked her up, and then took off not long after that, leaving Amber to raise a baby alone. Lily tried to help out when she could, but her own life had kept her busy, driving a bigger wedge between them.

Lily stayed on her dad's farm until his wreck. His injury to his back made chores harder on his aging body, forcing him to sell a majority of his cattle, then sold a portion of the land. She tried to stay on and help, but after an incident that changed things between her and her family, she thought it was best if she left for awhile. They all protested, begging her stay, telling her it wasn't her fault, but her mind was made up. She left for Liberty City two weeks later and moved in with her cousin.

Now she was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling on her twenty-third birthday. Wondering what she was going to do. She thought about going out, but to where? She didn't like clubs or people for that matter. There was also the weather. It was almost spring, but still too cold to go out at night. Maybe a nice book and a cup of tea or she could play Radiation. Yes, that sounded good.

Her phone began to ring, making it vibrate across the nightstand. She reached out and answered in a monotone voice.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Lily, you sound really cheerful on your birthday." Janie said. In the background she could hear the noisy customers at the Superstar Cafe. "Listen, my shift ends in fifteen minutes. Maybe we could go out and have some fun."

"Janie, your idea of fun is getting railed in a Burger Shot bathroom."

"I think you have me confused with Bridgette. Anyways, when I get home, we'll start getting ready for a night out on the town! And you have to say yes because it's my gift to you."

Lily sighed. "Oh, alright."

* * *

Ten minutes later, she was in the shower singing to Radio Broker. She hated bars, but tonight she was a little excited about going out. By the time she was finished, Janie was already home and getting ready. The bedroom smelled of Lily's vanilla body spray, with a hint of powder in the air. Both her radio, now tuned to Vice City FM, and the hair dryer blared. She made her way to her closet to pick out the right outfit. She rummaged for something classy, but not too classy for a bar. It wouldn't bring too much attention, but still turned heads. Outfits were tossed on her bed as each one was selected for her judgment. With each item of clothing she held to her body in the mirror, she grew more frustrated. She let out a sigh and barged into her cousin's room.

"I have nothing to wear!" Lily cried.

Janie had finished applying her mascara, screwed the lid tight, and turned to her cousin. "So pick something out from my closet."

"We have different body types." It was true. Janie had a tall slender build that made her pass for a runway model, while Lily was of average height and curvier.

"I know, it's a crime, to be honest. You barely eat meat and you're filled out in all the right places, while I can stuff twenty bleeder burgers and I'm still flat chested."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You poor thing."

Janie went to her closet while brushing out her shoulder length hair and yanked a navy blue shirt from off the hanger. She tossed it in Lily's face and turned her attention back to her hair.

"Borrow that," Janie said with a hair band clenched between her teeth.

She held out the top, looking it over. The navy shirt had elbow length sleeves and a black belt tightened around the waist.

"Thanks,"

In her own room, she unwrapped the towel from her body and tossed it on the bed. She stopped in front of the oval mirror in the corner and gave her naked body a once over. She ran her hands over her body, admiring the size of her breast, her narrow waist, and wide hips. She sometimes did this with her eyes closed, pretending it was someone else exploring her body. It was always a faceless man with gentle hands who always knew exactly where to touch her. This time however, the man in her mind was slowly coming into vision. Once she realized who it was she opened her eyes. It surprised her that it was him she was thinking of. She never found him partially attractive, but there was something about him that she couldn't put her finger on. He was obviously too old for her, but what harm was there in fantasizing about it? There wasn't any. Her eyes slid closed again and this time she let the image come back to her.

A loud knock on the bedroom door pulled her from her thoughts and made her jump. She spun around as Janie called out to her.

"Lily, are you almost through? Bridgette's on her way over!"

Lily quickly threw on the navy blue shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. "Just a sec!" What the hell was Bridgette doing here? That girl partied too hard for her liking.

"Okay, hurry."

Moments later she was coming down the stairs with a pair of boots that looked designer, but were really some knock off brand. She sort of hated them because they were high heeled and made walking difficult. The last thing she needed was another sprained ankle.

Bridgette threw open the door without knocking, announcing her arrival. Tucked under the redhead's arm was a rectangular flat box with a red bow on top. She grabbed Lily by the arm and guided her to the sofa. She held out the gift for Lily like a child. Lily took it and slowly pulled the ribbon.

"What is it?" She asked.

Bridgette grinned and replied, "You'll see,"

Janie came into the room as Lily was unwrapping her gift. Once the bow was free, she lifted the lid and peeled away the tissue paper inside. It revealed something black, red, and lacy. Lily had a feeling that it was sexy nightwear.

"Well hold it up." Janie said. Lily shot her cousin a glare.

"Come on, don't be shy, we're all ladies here." Bridgette said.

Lily reluctantly held up the naughty nightwear for the two women, making her cheeks burn. The two women giggled and Lily felt all the more embarrassed.

"Um, thanks, but isn't it a bit much?" Lily said.

Bridgette laughed. "It's my way of telling you, you need to get laid."

Lily neatly folded the article of clothing and placed it back in the box. "I think we need to get going!" Janie and Bridgette laughed again. Lily wanted to be anywhere but there in that moment.

They decided to go to Jerkov's bar in Algonquin, riding in Bridgette's red Buffalo. It was a more expensive bar, but Bridgette insisted, saying she would pay for everything. Lily wasn't comfortable with that idea, but Janie reminded her that Bridgette was a trust fund baby and could afford whatever she wanted. As if she needed reminding that her cousin's friend was loaded.

* * *

The bar wasn't as crowded as she feared. She ordered a blue Hawaiian followed by lemonade vodka. The two drinks didn't mix well for her. Janie and Bridgette both ordered strawberry daiquiris for themselves. A few men tried to flirt with her, but after they realized they were not getting anywhere they turned their attention to Bridgette and Janie, who were both on their third drinks. Lily had another drink before deciding she was done. She hated being drunk. The last time she drank too much, she threw up all over an alley and the hangover was the worst. She watched as Bridgette became too drunk to form a coherent sentence. It didn't stop Bridgette from ordering more drinks, long after Janie had quit. Twenty minutes later, Janie was in the bathroom helping hold back Bridgette's hair.

Being left alone made Lily felt anxious. Not wanting to be in a crowded area anymore, she stepped outside into the cool air. She leaned against the cement wall that worked as guard rail for the stairs. She knew Janie would lecture her about leaving the bar on her own, but she'd rather take her risk outside than be stuck with people she didn't know. Bridgette was too wasted to give a shit.

It was outside that her phone went off. Her father appeared on the caller id and she quickly answered it.

"Hau, father."

"Hau, Lily. How's your birthday so far?" Her father asked. In the background she could hear Trigg and Blackie talking.

"It's okay. Janie decided to take me out for my birthday."

"You guys aren't doing anything bad, I hope."

Before she could answer, Annette yelled in the background, telling her father to leaver her alone. Lily smiled. Leave it to Annette to stand up for her.

"I'm being good, I promise.  _Tókheškhe yaúŋ he?_ "

Her dad laughed. "Your Lakota is getting rusty, girl. Everything is well. Annette is retiring next year, Trigg's stallion will compete at the county fair, and Blackie got a promotion at the gas station. Small town life."

"That's good."  _Sounds boring._

"When are you coming home?"

She stifled a sigh. She hated when her family would ask this question. Her parents hated that she lived in the city. They always said it was too dangerous, so she never told them about the attack, because she knew they'd drag her home. "I don't know, dad. I kind of like it here."

"More than Madison?"

"Madison will always be my home, but I want to make my own life out here in the city."

"Just be careful."

She smiled at his over protectiveness and said, "Don't worry, dad. I'm going to be fine."

"I hope so," he replied. Then added, "Listen, I've got to go, but before I do, I'm going to put you on speaker. Say hi to the family."

"Hey, guys!"

"Happy birthday, Lily." Her family called out. Her father's voice came back to the phone. "You get all of that?"

"Yes. Tell them I said thank you."

"I will. Goodnight and stay safe."

"Goodnight, dad." She ended the call and placed her hot pink phone back in her pocket.

She happened to look up as someone she recognized came walking down the street with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Niko. Most of the time she would've been too shy to approach someone she was acquainted with on the streets, but the drinks in her had given her the courage to do so.

"Hey, Niko!" She called out.

He looked up and stopped. "Hey," he replied. "What are you doing here?"

"Well I was suppose to be spending my birthday with my cousin, but she ended up taking care of her friend who's completely wasted at the moment."

"Oh, it's your birthday? How old are you?"

"Twenty-three and I still don't feel grown up," she said.

"Yes, sometimes it takes a lot longer than we think to grow up."

Silence.

 _Ask him for a drink!_  "Do you want to join me inside for a drink? I'll pay."

"A woman is offering to buy me a drink? That's new." He said, amused.

She smirked and folded her arms. "Hey, I'm a modern woman."

"I can see that. Maybe another time."

His rejection hit her harder than she had thought it would. She suddenly felt stupid for even trying and she didn't know why.

"Oh, well that's okay." She said, trying to hide her disappointment.

Niko saw it right away and felt bad, but it was for her own good that she didn't get close. She looked down at the ground and then back up at him.

"Can I ask you something?" She said.

He shrugged, "Sure."

"That night, you had a gun on you. Why didn't you use it?"

He was surprised by her question. "I wanted it to be my last resort. I'm… not a fan of violence."

"I see,"

When she didn't say anything else, he decided to continue on his way. "I guess I'll see later."

She nodded. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow at work." She gave him a quick smile and walked back up the steps where her friends were waiting on her.

* * *

She arrived to the office for lunch the next day with a chicken berry salad in one hand and a latte in the other. The bell bottoms she wore swished as she walked across the office. Her top was made of thin white material with beads sown into the low cut collar. Her hair pulled back in a Celtic knot. And people told him his look was outdated…

"You going to Woodstock?" Roman asked as she sat across the room.

She smiled and shyly looked down at her lap. "I always liked the hippie sub culture."

Before he could stop himself, Niko said, "I think you look good."

Lily's face reddened and Roman looked to Niko with an amused grin. Niko shot his cousin a warning glare, but it didn't phase him. He knew now, he'd given Roman fuel for his fire and he wouldn't let this one go.

"Thanks," she said.

Roman's phone went off and he checked the caller ID. "Mallorie. Excuse me." He stood up and walked out of the office as he answered his phone. "Hey, beautiful, how's everything at home." The door shut behind him, leaving Niko and Lily alone again.

Still feeling awkward about the night before, she didn't talk much. She focus on her salad and stabbed a berry with her fork, while occasionally looking his direction. He glanced her way too, but didn't say anything. She quietly ate her salad wishing she could be more out going.

Her mind drifted back to the night she was attacked. She remembered they way he moved in the fight, how brutal, but quick he was to disarm those men. With one punch he broke one man's jaw and the others arm. She watched martial arts movies growing up, but never saw anything like the way Niko fought. He much smaller than that biker Jessie was hooking up with, but he could still hold his own in a fight.

Growing up she was always seen as weak and helpless. No matter how hard she tried to prove herself, it never changed other people's opinions about her. The more she thought about it, the more she became angry. She had to change their opinions. That way no one could ever look down on her again. As she stabbed a piece of lettuce, she knew she had to learn to stand up for herself and she knew just the person she could turn to.

"Hey, Niko,"

He looked up from the magazine he was flipping through. "What is it?"

"I was just wondering about that night. What was that?"

He shut the magazine and placed it back in it's original spot. "What was what?"

She was starting to lose her nerve. What did having a simple conversation have to be so hard? "Your fighting style."

"Oh, that. It's Krav Maga, a fighting style created by the Israeli military. It was taught to me while I was in basic training years ago."

She twirled a piece of chicken in ranch as she listened. So she had to learn Krav Maga? Sure she could do that. The gym in her neighborhood had a defense course every Tuesday and Thursday. Maybe they could help and if it wasn't Krav Maga, well she could learn whatever they were teaching. Not only would she learn self defense, she could work out, get toned and never feel weak again!

"So how long does it take to learn?"

"I didn't learn everything about it. I was in training for six months before a gun was dropped in my hands and I was thrown out into the battle field, but I know enough to save my life."

"I think I'm going to learn it."

"I'm sure it'll be good for you. I can't save you all the time," he said, slightly amused.

She smiled. "Aw, but it's the only way I can get to know you better,"

He reached for the newspaper and opened it. "I'm not someone you want to get to know."

"I think I'll be the judge of that."

At these words she noticed his withdrawal from her. He flipped through the paper, not looking her way anymore. "You don't know what you're talking about," he said, quietly.

"I think I do," she rose out of her seat and tossed the empty container away. "You don't give yourself enough credit," with that, she left the office before he could give her a proper answer.

He checked the time on his phone and decided to go back to work. His lunch break wasn't over, but he didn't want to be in this small building anymore. Roman reentered the office a minute later.

"What's wrong with you?" Roman asked.

"Nothing," Niko replied. "Don't worry about it."

But Roman was Roman and he knew that his cousin would worry about it.


	6. A Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we get a glimpse of the villain.

 

She came home from the gym, warm and sweaty one afternoon. The gym had held their self defense courses, but because she only paid for a standard membership, she wasn't allowed to attend. She felt disappointed, but not defeated. She would have to use the weights and the treadmill until she could save enough to attend the courses, by then she would be toned and fit enough to keep up with the class. Then she would dare someone to even try and hurt her. They would come to regret it.

She was going to become a new woman and nothing could stop her! Not only would her body be strong, but her mind as well. She would stand up for herself more, let people know exactly what she was thinking!

_Oh, you want to take my picture? How about you fuck right off!_

_Sorry Mohammad, but you're in_ MY  _parking spot. Go somewhere else, you incompetent jackass._

_Benny, if you continue to call me, I will find you and beat you to death with your own severed head!_  Okay, so that one might have been a little extreme, but she would tell him off in person if she ever had the chance.

A happy feeling and a sense of accomplishment rose inside of her. For the first time in years she felt she could do anything. Today was the first day of her new life. She couldn't wait to get home and tell Janie how she felt. She quickly changed her mind, however when she saw Bridgette's car parked in the driveway.

She approached the house and walked in. Janie and Bridgette were in the kitchen, both with somber expressions. Concern set in as that happy feeling she had faded. She looked to her friends wondering what was wrong. Did something happen? Was her family okay?

"Hey ladies, how's everything going?" Lily asked as she made her way to the fridge.

Bridgette looked to Lily and then back to Janie who was practically squirming in her chair. "Well, Janie, do you want to tell her your oh so wonderful news or should I?" It was rare for Bridgette to ever be upset unless someone scuffed her designer boots. The strawberry blonde sat in the chair cross-legged while bouncing the top leg in agitation.

"Tell me what?" Lily selected a bottle of pink lemonade and shut the door.

Bridgette sighed, shaking her head. Janie glared at her friend, but didn't say a word. "Janie is seeing Calvin again."

Lily almost choked on her drink. Calvin was Janie's abusive ex-boyfriend. He controlled every waking moment of her life, kept tabs on her, isolated her from friends and family. He told her she was worthless and no one would ever love her. It was hard to believe that someone as strong as Janie could become abused and it shocked Lily when she found out. Calvin had only hit Janie once, but it was enough for Lily and Bridgette to come together and get their friend out of that situation. It wasn't easy, but eventually Janie got over him. Now after all this time she was going back to him? Anger filled Lily as thoughts of that scumbag putting his hands on her cousin flooded her mind.

"You've  _got_  to be kidding me! After everything he put you through?" Lily began to shake as her anger was rising.

Janie shook her head. "You guys don't understand. We're not getting back together, we're just talking and he's really cha-"

"NO!" Lily roared. Her flat palm came down and hit the table. It shook and stunned the two women before her. "Once an abuser, always an abuser! He put his filthy hands on you! He manipulated and twisted your emotions so bad that you blamed yourself! After everything Bridgette and I did for you, you want to throw it all away for that pathetic loser?!" She began to pace like a caged animal.

When Lily worked as a vet tech in Madison, she and Dr. Wilks(the local vet) were given the task of seeing to an injured dog. It was the worst case of animal abuse she had ever witnessed. The poor beast was beyond saving and needed to be put to sleep. She became so enraged that day; she never thought anything could anger her more. Until now.

"If you think I'm going to support this, then you obviously don't know me that well! Hell, I thought I knew you well enough, but I guess not!" With that Lily spun on her heels and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving Bridgette to deal with Janie.

She flung her gym bag across the room and went into the bathroom to wash up. She threw her sweaty clothes on the floor and stepped into the shower. Hot water blasted her body as thoughts of the night she discovered bruises on Janie's arm came to her. She remembered the red hand print on her face and having to drag Janie away from that guy. Janie blocked his number, blocked him on social media, and changed the locks on the doors. Lily thought they were making progress and now...

Fifteen minutes later she stepped out of the shower and dress in a pink tank top and a pair of black shorts. She placed her beaded necklace around her neck and went back downstairs where she grabbed her purse. She needed to get out of here. If she stayed in that house another minute she would scream. As she placed her hand on the doorknob, Janie ran to her.

"Where are you going?" Janie said in a strained voice.

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. I just… I need to get out of here,"

"When will you be back?"

"I don't know, okay? Right now I'm too pissed to think straight."

Janie blinked away tears as Lily was stepping out the door. "Please be safe,"

"Same to you," Lily whispered.

Driving around the neighborhood didn't help her as much as she thought. She didn't know where to go or who to talk to. Her mind had become numb and her body seemed to be running on autopilot. Now she really wished she had taken those courses today. At least then she could protect Janie. She decided to go to the only place she knew that was peaceful and quiet.

* * *

**Colony Island Cemetery**

Her aunt Wachiwi and uncle Lawrence, were buried here, but she wasn't sure where. She moved up and down the rows whispering McPherson to herself.

Sometimes Lily forgot that her cousin was half Irish. It was something that her family didn't like talking about it. While they loved Janie, Lily knew her family didn't fully accept her cousin. It angered her that they could be so petty over something so insignificant. All the problems in the world and they were mad because Janie's parents didn't match. She shook her head. It wasn't right. She understood that her people were dying out, but love was love.

_Yeah well look where got Janie!_ Her pessimism said loudly.

_But that's not love! Love isn't meant to hurt you or tear you down. Love is suppose to heal and lift you up._ That was her hopeless romantic side. A side she had suppressed at nineteen to keep herself being hurt again. Lately, however, it seemed to be slowly coming back. She thought she knew why, but was too afraid to admit to herself.

After fifteen minutes of searching, she was ready to give up. Lily turned to walk back to her car, not ready to go home. She could have stayed at the cemetery, but they sometimes creeped her out after awhile. She happened to look up and to her left. There ten stones away from her was Niko, standing near a row of connected headstones that she knew belonged to the McReary's; a family that was once close to the McPhersons.

Curiosity got the better of her as she wondered why Niko was visiting their graves. All of them were dead except for that Patrick fellow that Janie briefly dated in high school. Without thinking she strolled his way.

* * *

Niko stood in front of her polished rock. A small oval picture of her was encased in the stone with her name and birth date etched into it. They were words he read over multiple times to remind himself that getting close to someone was something he could never do again. He only wished she didn't have to pay the price for his sins.

"Niko?" a feminine voice said softly.

He turned to find Lily standing there dressed as if she was going to go jogging. She wore a tank top and shorts with running sneakers and her hair was pulled back into a loose knot.

"What are you doing here?" He asked harshly. He almost flinched at the tone he used towards her.

Her eyes were wide from surprise at his rough reply. She swallowed and fidgeted with her hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you." She backed away to leave, but he stopped her.

"Lily, wait. I'm sorry, it's just that I have a lot on my mind. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's alright. I needed to see a friendly face and I happened to come across you."

He gave a bit of a smile. "I don't think I'm the face you would need to see for that."

Normally she would giggle at that and give a comeback, but this time she only nodded. Her eyes were red and puffy and her lashes were damp and spiked like she had been crying. Something was wrong.

"So, uh, what are you doing out here?" he asked.

She took an even breath before answering. "I wanted to visit my aunt but I can't find her grave. I thought maybe if I found her I could talk to her about something."

"What's the last name?"

"McPherson."

He pointed to the east side of the cemetery. "They should be in that direction. I remember seeing a few headstones with that name on it."

"Thank you," she said quietly. "I should probably go in that direction so I can…" her voice trailed off. She bit her bottom lip as tears welled in her eyes. She felt embarrassed as the tears spilled down her cheeks. She covered her face in shame as sobs shook her body.

Niko reached out and took her by the shoulders. "Whoa, hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

She took a few ragged breaths to collect herself before answering him. "It's my cousin. Six months ago she was dating this scumbag and he abused her. I finally got her away him, but now he's contacted her again and he's trying to weasel his way back into her life! I'm afraid he's going to kill her!"

After she finished, she saw Niko's auburn eyes darken and the muscles in his jaw tensed as he released her. "Where is he?"

"He normally hangs out around Firefly Island. His name's Calvin Williams." She wiped away her tears. "Why? Are you gonna kill him?"

"I'm not going to kill him, just going to shake him up a little so he knows to stay away from your cousin. Come on, we'll find this scumbag."

She gave a nod and followed him to his car. A half hour later -thanks to Niko's crazy driving- they arrived to their destination. They found Calvin near the same area where Niko had confronted Mr. Faustin's daughter and her biker boyfriend. Calvin was dark haired, slicked back with grease, he was tall and dressed in a white shirt and jeans.

"There he is!" Lily said.

"Okay, you wait here in the car."

Lily shook her head. "No. I need to come with you."

"Lily, it's too dangerous."

"Niko, I need to do this. She's my cousin and I have to protect her."

He sighed and agreed, knowing he was going to regret this. They got out of the Sabre and made their way to Calvin. He was pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket unaware of the man and woman swiftly approaching him.

"Hey Calvin!" Lily called out.

He looked up and gave Lily a sleazy grin. "Hey there, Lillian. I was just thinking about your cousin."

Her hands balled into fist as her anger came back. "Don't ever contact Janie again, you piece of shit!" she spat.

Calvin laughed and took a step towards her with a glare. "And if I don't?"

Niko got between the two and before Calvin could react, Niko landed a punch on Calvin's nose and another on the side of his head, causing him stumbled back and fall.

"What the fuck, man!" Calvin snarled as his hand covered his nose.

Niko pulled his combat pistol from his jacket and aimed it at Calvin's head. Lily's eyes widened and she froze in place. As much as she hated Calvin, she didn't want him dead. At least not yet. Calvin had an equal reaction as Niko towered over him with the gun.

"I will only tell you this once, you stay away from Janie McPherson and her family. If I have to come back, the next time I won't be so nice about it." Niko warned.

Calvin, who was trembling in fear, gave a slow nod. "Sure thing, man. I won't ever talk to her again."

Lily regained her senses and added, "Good! I don't want to ever see your sorry face around my house!"

"Okay, okay! Just call off your dog, Lily!"

Lily turned to Niko, "I think he gets it. Come on, we know where he lives if he breaks his word."

Niko gave a nod then lowered his weapon before turning away from Calvin. The two walked to the Sabre as Calvin laid there with blood dripping on his white shirt.

"Oh my, God, I was afraid you would pull the trigger!" Lily said as she buckled herself in.

Niko started the car,  _Driving Wheel_  blasted through the speakers. He turned the volume down as he spoke to her. "I wouldn't kill him unless I had too."

"You make killing sound so easy."

He sighed. "For me, it kind of is."

"Because of the war?"

He hesitated, before giving her a slow nod. She was about to reach out and touch his arm, but resisted the urge. He didn't seem like the touchy-feely type.

"Do you want me to take you back to your car?" He asked.

"No, I'm too tired now. I don't get angry like this very often and it really drains me. Do you think you could take me home? I live here in Broker."

"Sure, kid."

She smiled. "If you haven't noticed I'm not a kid."

"Of course I've noticed," he replied as his eyes briefly flicker to her chest and back to her face. At this she blushed, making him realize what he just did... "What I mean is… I uh,"

She laughed. "It's okay, I'm use to men and to some extent women staring. I guess it was all of that hormone ridden milk I drank as a kid?"

"I wouldn't know," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Fifteen minutes later they were parked outside her house. She unbuckled and stepped out of the car, then turned back to him.

"Thank you for helping me today, but I have to ask, why did you want to beat the hell out of Calvin? I mean, I'm not complaining, just curious."

His eyes darkened again as looked straight ahead. "Because my father use to hit my mother. As I got older, he took his anger out on my brother and I."

"I'm sorry that happened to you, Niko."

"Don't be sorry. It was long ago. I try to be the exact opposite of what he was."

She wanted to reach out to him again, but this time she was too far. She wanted to tell him everything would be okay, but the words were stuck in her throat. "Seems like you're doing a good job of that so far."

"Someone is watching you through the window."

She looked over her shoulder to find that Janie was in fact peaking out the window. She turned back to him and told him goodnight.

"Yeah, see you later, Lily." He wondered if she knew her shorts had ridden up.

He watched her go inside her house before driving off. His knuckles hurt a little from the blow he delivered to that scumbag earlier, but he was use to bruised knuckles. Which reminded him, he was going to Outlook station tonight to look for any signs of trouble.

As he drove to his destination, his mind drifted to Lily and what she was wearing. The top she wore was tight, showing off more of her body. When she sat down her shorts bunched up to reveal more of her long tan legs. When he had touched her shoulders, her skin was warm and soft. It was wrong to think about her that way after everything that had happened. He pushed the thoughts away and continued towards Outlook station.

A few hours had passed without much action. Liberty Rock Radio played softly as he watched people come and go from the station. He was ready to move on when he spied a woman and her young son walking along the sidewalk. Out of the shadows, two men in ski mask emerged and closely followed the mother and son. Niko reached into the backseat for his ball bat and went after the two thugs.

* * *

**Alderney, 2002**

Mackenzie Heder was standing on the street corner smoking her last cigarette. She looked up at her apartment window and watched as the silhouettes of her parents pointed fingers at each other. There voices were so loud she could hear them all the way out here. No doubt, her neighbors heard everything too. She sighed and inhaled the nicotine that kept her nerves from falling apart. Even though she was now nineteen, her parents still disapproved of her smoking and made her go outside to do it. Fine by her, she couldn't stand being under the same roof as them.

All she had to do was hold out until June and then she could move out and never have to deal with their asses again. She thought about dropping out, but that meant she would be kicked out of the house and she hadn't saved up enough money to move out yet. That is, if she was ever going to.

_Well I guess I'm gonna have to quit smoking if I want to save more money._

She finished off her cigarette and flicked the butt to the ground. As she stomped it out, an ugly gray Classique Stallion crept towards her. She stayed put as it approached her. She couldn't see who it was right away and thought maybe it was someone from school who recognized her. The car stopped beside her and the window rolled down, revealing a man with blonde hair and clean white buttoned up shirt. He had faint scar on the side of his face and his nose looked as if it had been broken.

A bad feeling gnawed at her stomach.

"What do you what?" She asked in a bitchy tone.

The man grinned at her and spoke in an accented voice. "Just wanted to know how much it cost." He sounded Eastern European, but she wasn't too sure.

Her heart slammed in her chest, but she refused to show that she was afraid. "Go fuck yourself, asshole! I'm not a hooker."

"Come on, don't be like that. I pay you good money."

She raised her middle finger to the sleaze. "Fuck. You." The man grinned, making Mackenzie recoil in disgust. This fucking prick couldn't take no for an answer. She hated men like him.

"I like fiery women. Come on, we can party. I have pot, you know the good stuff." The man said.

"You must be desperate if need a hooker to get laid. Why don't you go back to whatever shit hole country you came from and leave me alone."

At this the man's expression changed from friendly to sinister. Her mouth went dry and her palms became damp. Everything in her told her to run, but she was frozen in place. He stepped out of the car and towered over her. Mackenzie tried to scream, but in one move he cupped her mouth and put a knife to her throat. He was standing behind her now, his hot ragged breath blowing in her ear. She began to tremble as he forced her into the car.

"Please let me go! I'm sorry! Just me go." She begged.

"Shut the fuck up," he snarled. He kept one hand on the wheel and the other held a fist full of her hair. "Now you are going to learn what happens to bad girls who don't do as they're told."

The girl began to sob uncontrollably as she was taken farther away from her home. He warned her multiple times to keep quiet and when she didn't listen, he pulled over and slammed her head into the window. Her crying stopped and she all she could do now was sit helplessly as this man took her away to a secluded area.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't my best, but future chapters will be better, I swear!


	7. Somebody Bends

Because Mallorie didn't trust daycare or any babysitter, she brought the baby to work. It wouldn't be a problem Roman had told her and so far, it was going smoothly. Mijo never cried when she had to answer the phones, in fact, he slept most of the time. And her mother said it wouldn't be right for her to be a working mother. Well she wasn't about to sit around all day playing happy housewife while her husband got to leave the house every now and then. If she didn't get back out there, she was going to scream. Besides, if she ever had a daughter she would be setting a good example for her by proving that you could have a career and a family. 

When Mijo was awake he stayed occupied with his stuff frog. A gift from his uncle Niko. Or was he a cousin? Oh well that didn't really matter. Even though he seemed to care for Mijo, Mallorie could never get Niko to hold the baby. He kept his distance and it annoyed her. She knew why too, but unlike Roman, she never lectured him. She let him do what he needed to to grieve. Her wedding day would forever be a reminder to Niko of Kate's death. Maybe someday he would find someone new and she would be the one to heal his wounded heart. God knows Niko needed someone in his life. Everyone needed somebody. At least that is what she believed.

Speaking of the devil, she saw her cousin-in-law pass by the office window just as she was mixing Mijo's bottle. He walked into the office and hung his coat up.

"Good morning, Niko. It's been a long time since you came around to the house."

"So it seems," he replied as he slid off his jacket.

"Am I going to have to send Roman after you again? Little Mijo misses you when you're not around," she said as she gave the baby his bottle.

"Sorry, I've been busy."

"I know all about your late night escapades."

He sat down next to her. "Roman told you?"

She readjusted Mijo in her lap. "No, I heard about the vigilante on the radio and knew it was you."

"I guess I shouldn't talk if everyone is looking for an Eastern European."

"It would be wise. The police are after you, too and this time you're doing actual good." She let out a sigh. "I guess nothing satisfies them."

She withdrew the bottle and placed it on the desk. Mijo let out a cry, but Mallorie cooed to him as she repositioned him into a sitting position. She gently patted the baby's back until he burped. Once he did, she cradled him again and gave him back his bottle. Mijo eagerly took the bottle back from his mother.

"There ya go. I swear you're just as impatient as your father."

She turned to Niko for agreement, but instead found that he was fondly watching the baby. She smiled, knowing that eventually she would get him to hold Mijo. The moment he realized she was watching him, he quickly looked away. Well so much for that.

"Just hold him all ready." Mallorie said. "He won't bite, I swear. He doesn't even have teeth yet."

Niko shook his head. "Another time."

"You always say that."

In that moment a young woman walked into the office. It was that Lakota woman Roman had hired over a month ago, the same one that Niko saved. He mentioned she was one of the better drivers he had. What he didn't mentioned was how pretty she was. She might have to keep an eye on this one…

Seeing Mallorie there, the girl stopped and hesitated before she entered the office. Aw, she was shy. Well she was going to fix that. Mallorie glanced at Niko and noticed the strange look he had. She wondered what he was thinking. When Lily's eyes drifted to Niko, her cheeks pinkened and she quickly looked back to Mallorie. Mallorie caught this and resisted to smile. Maybe there was hope for her cousin-in-law after all.

"You're Lily Bedard aren't you?" Mallorie asked.

Lily nodded. "Yes and you must be Mallorie." Lily's eyes drifted to the baby and they brightened. "Aw, who's this little guy?"

"This is Mijo. He just turned three months old."

She smiled at the baby. "Hi there, Mijo. Aren't you cute?"

Mijo waved his frog around and made gurgle noises. Both Lily and Mallorie laughed at this.

The phones began to ring at that moment. Mallorie answered it while sitting the baby up in her lap. Mijo tried desperately to reach for the cord that dangled in his face.

"Bellic's Taxi Service, what I can I do for you this morning?" She answered, trying to sound professional. The baby babbled and succeeded in grabbing the cord. "Good morning, Mrs. Weinstein… yes, I brought him to work with me… oh, he's no trouble at all. When he wants to be at least… yes… okay, I'll send a cab right over… you're welcome, Mrs. Weinstein." She placed the phone back on the receiver and pried the cord from the baby's hands. "That was Mrs. Weinstein. She needs someone to take her to the airport."

"I'll do it." Lily said.

"Actually, I'm sending Niko. I want to get to know you a little more."

Lily was surprised by this. "Who, me?"

_Yes, you. If you like my husband's cousin, then I need to make sure you're right for him._  "Of course I mean you. It's about time we had another woman around here."

Niko rose from his seat, grabbed his jacket and the keys. "I'll see you ladies when I get back." His auburn eyes lingered on Lily, making her blush again.

"See you, Niko," she said softly.

As soon as he left, Mallorie smirked and said, "You like him don't you?"

Lily spun around to face her. Her eyes were wide and her face was a deeper red. Yep, just as Mallorie had suspected, this girl really liked Niko. Mallorie giggled and place Mijo in his stroller. She motioned for Lily to sit next to her and the younger woman slowly made her way to the chair.

"So tell me about yourself."

"What would you like to know? I'm kind of boring." Lily admitted as she sat down.

"Start from the beginning."

* * *

**Alderney**

Jessie finished nailing the last flyer onto a telephone pole. Behind her was the Steel Roses' vice president, Linda Heder. She took the nail and hammer from Jessie and placed them in the toolbox that rested in the back of the truck.

"Thanks for helping me today." Linda said as they entered Jessie's Bobcat pick-up.

"Don't mention it. We'll find that bastard." Jessie replied.

Linda sighed and turned her head to face the passenger window. "I hope so, but it's been so long that I'm afraid the trail is too cold."

Jessie reached out and placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. "Hey, if I say I'm going to find someone, I'll find them. That sick fuck will get his in the end."

Linda nodded, but didn't say anything else. For the last seven years, Linda had been trying to find out who killed her little sister. She heard rumors that it was an immigrant and from then on, she had a distaste for them. Jessie remember Linda going on a rampage after that. She tried assaulting and harassing any foreigner she came across. Jessie was always there to stop Linda from doing something completely stupid, though.

Although Jessie and Linda didn't always agree with each other on certain topics, Jessie still felt loyal to her friend. When Jessie finally got away from her ex, she found herself alone in the city, scared, frightened, and homeless. It was Linda who came along and took her in. It was also Linda who convinced Jessie to go back to the Angels of Death, take their "old ladies", and start their own motorcycle club. Within two years, the Steel Roses' numbers had tripled. Multiple women who were tired of being treated like crap by their male counterparts left their old gangs for the Roses. With the Roses they were seen as equal. They felt important. The only downside was, they had pissed off the Angels and the Uptown riders, and the Liberty City Bikers(but no one really cared about them anymore), and the White Stallionz MC. Jessie took a little pride in the fact that she had pissed off a motorcycle club all the way to Florida.

"Man, what I'd do for a drink right about now." Linda said. She rolled down the window and lit a cigarette.

Jessie laughed. "What haven't you done for a drink?"

"Very little. Hey how are you and Johnny gettin' along?"

"Great. He's so good to me. Shit, I think I'm falling in love. I fucking hope not."

Linda grinned. "Oh yeah? Be careful that Ashley doesn't steal him back."

Jessie scowled. "Fuck that dope whore! She's lucky the Lost and the Steel Roses have truce between them or I would've killed her by now."

"So what if you and Johnny break up? Would this little peace treaty between our clubs break as well?"

"No. Things will be okay."

Linda wasn't convinced though. "I don't know, dude, it's not wise to mix business and pleasure."

"I know, I know, but me and Johnny are solid. Ain't nothin' coming between us."

"I sure hope you're right, boss."

Jessie sighed. "Me too,"

When they arrived at the shop their Road Captain, Melissa Evans, was waiting for them. Melissa paced the parking lot, eyes wide with fear. When Jessie questioned her, Melissa explained that someone had broken in the shop and trashed it. Jessie pushed passed her road captain and entered the garage.

Melissa was right. Bikes they had been working on had bats taken to them. Their frames were bent, lights busted out, and the leather seats and tires slashed. Glass jars containing various parts were smashed, oil cans had been thrown about, the radio smashed, and graffiti was painted on the walls.

_SLUT._

_WHORE._

_CUNT._

_YOU RIDE BITCH FOR A REASON._

She stood in disbelief, a mixture of emotions whirled inside of her. She wanted scream and cry. She wanted to hit someone or something. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't real! All those years of hard work, scraping and saving for this shop and in a matter of hours, someone had taken that away. Thousands of dollars worth of equipment and machinery were now laying on the concrete floor in pieces.

She gritted her teeth and shut her eyes as hot tears threatened to push through the creases of her eye lids. She took slow breaths to calm herself before opening her eyes again. Across from her was a single note pinned to the wall that read:  _No one fucks with the Angels._  Anger surged through her the moment she finished reading the note. She crumbled the paper and threw it across the room.

She stormed into her office and found that it was untouched, except her weed was missing. She yanked open the file cabinet's top drawer where her gun was stored away. She opened the metal box that kept it safe and took her AP Pistol. Slamming the clip into the handle, Jessie knew that this officially meant war with the Angels.

The clubhouse was packed with members half an hour later. Murmurs of disbelief and shock rippled through the crowd. Their leader gathered them around the bar for an announcement.

"Ladies, our shop was attacked hours ago by the Angels of Death!"

The crowd cursed and some chanted death to the Angels.

"Let me finish!" Jessie snapped. "As you know, we our not on good terms with them for obvious reasons. I know some of you were once 'members' of the Angels and not all of their women left to join us. You might run into them tonight when we strike their clubhouse."

"So this is war?" A prospect called out.

Jessie nodded. "I'm afraid so."

The women expressed their concerns. Some of them objected to the idea, saying they would easily be outnumbered.

"They might have the numbers, we'll have the firepower!" Jessie said.

Linda stood beside her friend and whispered, "Jessie, we can't strike tonight, we aren't ready. Please give this a few days so we can properly prepare. We also have the Lost MC to consider. You know Johnny K isn't going to like this."

"Well I'm not telling Johnny what's going down, but I'll think about holding off the fight until tomorrow night. That'll give Big Bess enough time to find some heavy artillery." Jessie turned and left the clubhouse for her shop, leaving Linda and Melissa to deal with an angry crowd.

Linda felt anger over what had happened too, but even she knew that going head on into a fight not fully prepared was a bad idea. She gathered the other higher ranking members to discuss the matter further.

* * *

"Oh my God," Mallorie breathed as she set her mug on the desk. She looked out the window watching the rain pour down outside.

"Yeah," Lily said. She looked down at her lap wondering if telling all of that to Mallorie was a good idea.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. Why didn't you press charges?"

Lily fiddled with clasp on her purse. "If my father knew what Blackie had done to me, he would have killed him and it would have destroyed my family. It was best that I left. The old Blackie is still in there and I know through help, he'll come back."

"And that pig headed ex of yours. Ick!"

"He's long gone, thankfully."

Mallorie reached out to the younger woman and took her hand. Lily gave a tiny smile, glad that she finally told someone her secret about Blackie. She only hoped that Mallorie wouldn't tell anyone else, but in the short time she knew this woman, Lily felt she could trust her.

It was close to eleven when Lily finally got into a cab. She wondered if Roman would dock her pay for chatting with Mallorie for five hours. Oh well.

She spent the day as usual, picking up passengers and dropping them off. She found herself more often than not, daydreaming. Mallorie's question made her mull over her feeling for Niko. She hadn't thought much about it in the past, but now that she did, she realized the feelings were there. It was odd to her, because she had certain taste and Niko wasn't exactly her type. It scared her if she were honest. She was sort of a hopeless romantic who also knew that love almost never lasted in the real world. It was a lesson she learned when she was nineteen and thought love was enough to fix someone.

Try as she may, though, she couldn't deny that every time Niko was near she felt her heart skip a beat or her stomach would do flips. The day she broke down in front of him at the cemetery, she felt those old feelings stir inside of her the moment he placed his hands on her bare shoulders. She didn't think much of it until later that night when she went to bed and the sensation of his touch lingered.

She thought back to when he briefly looked at her chest and her body warmed. He found her attractive, but he probably only saw her as one night stand material. That was how most older men viewed younger women and they often liked dominating them, too. At least, that's what her step mother told her. Niko was different, though, wasn't he?

Once the day was over she drove back to the depot and parked the cab in the garage. Niko happened to arrive at the same as her. Her heart was racing again and her mouth was dry. She found her newly discovered feelings for him more annoying than anything. She was already socially awkward, she didn't need a silly crush to make things worse!

As she rose out of the car, she hit her head. Her face was burning from embarrassment, but if Niko had noticed, he didn't say anything. Actually, he hadn't noticed her at all and it bummed her out a little. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to steady her nerves.

"Hey, Niko," she said.

He turned to her and she noticed how tired he was. "Hey,"

"How did your day go?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I made it out alive."

She smiled. "Yeah, me too."  _Come on, say something else!_  But she didn't.

They walked to the office door and he held it open for her. She thanked him as they continued inside. They placed their keys on the board and took their jackets. Mallorie was at her desk filing her nails and looking bored. Beside her the baby was fast asleep in his stroller.

"Goodnight, Lily." Mallorie said, not looking up from her nails.

"Goodnight, Mallorie." Lily replied as she slipped her coat on.

As always, Niko offered to walk her to her car. They walked side by side in silence on that evening. Normally, they tried to make small talk, something they both seemed to struggle with. She noticed he looked depressed and she felt the need to cheer him up.

"Why don't they play poker in the jungle?" She asked.

Niko raised a brow. "What are you talking about?"

"Just play along."

Niko sighed then said, "Fine, why?"

"Too many  _cheetahs_!" She began to laugh. When Niko didn't seem amused, she stopped and she felt awkward again. "Get it? Cheetahs. Cheaters?"

"Cheetahs live on the Savannah, not the jungle."

She rolled her eyes. "You must me fun at parties."

He didn't say anything to this and they continued their short walk in silence. When they arrived to her Blista, she decided to try again.

"How did the hipster burn his tongue?"

"Another one?" He groaned.

"He drank his coffee before it was cool!" She laughed again and once again he didn't find her joke funny. Oh well, at least she tried. "Okay so maybe that one was a little lame."

He shook his head. "You are a very strange girl."

"So I've been told, but I guess strange can be a good thing." She opened her car door, but didn't get in. She rested her chin and right arm on the roof of the car. The moments ticked by as Lily tried to find something else to say. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you," he replied.

* * *

**Algonquin**

Two nights later Niko was dragging a mugger into the alley. Since his run in with Eric, he made sure to check that every mugger he found wasn't some idiot kid.

The mugger begged for Niko to let him go, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. Without saying a word Niko beat the mugger with a ball bat then emptied the man's pockets. He found a few wallets that clearly didn't belong to the mugger. Niko placed them inside his jacket and then swung a final blow to the mugger. He let let out a groan before going limp. Niko checked for a pulse and found that the man was still alive.

He quickly left the scene, jogging a few blocks to where his car was parked. Once inside the car, he tried to catch his breath.

_I don't know how long I can keep going like this._

His phone began to vibrate in his jacket and the sound of two women moaning filled the car. He shook his head in disgust while making a mental note to never leave his phone alone with Roman and Brucie again. He pressed the green button and Roman's cheerful voice came over the phone.

"Hey cousin, I heard something about you today."

Niko leaned against the window and sighed. "Ya know, for a big city, rumors seem to spread faster than they did in our village."

"This one was from Mallorie. She told me that Lily really likes you. Is that true?"

That was impossible. Why would a girl like her be interested in him? Still, hearing that gave him a bit of joy. "I highly doubt that," Niko said.

"Give her a call and find out. What have you got to lose, anyway?"

_Her. I could lose her._  "I don't know."

"Come on, Niko, you need to move on. You've left that life for good and this girl could be your second chance."

His agitation began to set in. Roman would never understand it seemed and that was starting to give him a headache. "I'm too old for her."

"So hang out as friends. Mallorie said that Lily didn't have very many. Just spend a little time with her and if it doesn't work out, you can move on. You didn't hesitate to date those other girls that were clearly not right for you. What's stopping you this time?"

Niko slumped down in his seat. He knew what was stopping him. "Roman I can't. I'm too busy."

Roman laughed. "Yes, cousin, I can see you're completely swamped. I'll text you her number."

The call ended and minutes later he received a text from Roman. His thumb hovered over the delete button, but in the end he saved her number to his phone. Checking the time, he wondered if it was okay to call her now. It was eight o'clock and a Friday night. She would be awake, but most likely busy.

_I feel like a teenager and not in a good way!_

He sighed and placed his phone away. Then a few minutes later he pulled out his phone again, scrolled through his contacts until he found her number, and pressed call.


	8. First "Date"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm nervous about this chapter because I lost a follower after this one was published and the following chapter after that, I lost two more. On a side note, I plan on making the AO3 version of Shadows, the uncensored version. I like ff.net, but I really dislike the fact that they hide the mature content.

She was sitting in the kitchen talking with Janie and Bridgette when her phone began to vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and checked the caller ID. It was an unknown number, but she answered it anyway.

"Hello?" She said. Janie and Bridgette were making faces and mocking her, making it hard to keep her voice even.

"Uh… hi.. it's me, Niko. Mallorie gave me your number." He said nervously.

Niko? Her heart lurched in her chest and her nervousness was kicking in. Well, at least he sounded nervous, too.

"N-niko? Um… hi… uh, I'm surprised Mallorie gave you my number. What's up?" She said a little too fast.  _Mallorie, I don't know if I should be mad at you or not!_

"I was wondering if you wanted to do something? You know, as friends."

He wanted to hang out with her! Even if it was as friends. Which was fine with her. Her mind went blank as she struggled to answer. Why did normal human interaction have to be so hard? "Could you hold on a sec?" She covered her phone and looked to her friends who were giving curious looks. "Ladies, one of my co-workers wants to hang out. What do I say?" She whispered.

"Do you like him?" Janie asked.

Lily nodded.

"Then say yes!" Bridgette added.

She uncovered the phone. "Sure, we can do something."

"Great! I'll come get you in next hour."

The moment the call ended, both Janie and Bridgette squealed like school girls. Lily's heart was slamming her chest and Janie and Bridgette's overreaction wasn't helping. She couldn't believe she had said yes to him. She couldn't believe he actually called her! She didn't even know what she was going to wear, but the women before her grabbed her arm and lead her to her room.

"Shave your legs!" Janie said as she shoved shaving cream into Lily's hand.

"But I did that when I came home," Lily replied.

"Do it again." Janie grabbed Lily by the shoulders, spun her around, then gave a gentle shove into the bathroom. Janie shut the door behind Lily and called out, "You shave and we'll pick your outfit for you!"

"I can pick my own clothes." But the giggles and the sound of her dresser drawers opening told her it was too late. Knowing she was defeated, she grabbed a razor and ran the tub with some warm water.

Five minutes later she stepped out of the bathroom, damp legs and all, to find the clothes they had picked out were not as bad as she had thought. Laid out before her was a low cut pink top with dark washed jeans and her black flats. The only thing she disapproved of was the hot pink and black lingerie they picked out for her. Even though she liked wearing it, it didn't feel appropriate for a simple get together. She sighed and quickly began to change.

Once she was dressed she sat down on her bed. She suddenly felt self-conscious, wondering if this was a good idea. What if she said or did something stupid. She was never exactly graceful or charismatic. She thought about calling him and canceling but felt it would be rude to do so.

Looking in the mirror, she suddenly noticed every flaw on her face. He would notice them as well and second guess asking her out. She thought about dabbing on foundation, but the shade she bought didn't blend well with her skin tone. She wasn't the best at applying eyeshadow either. Finally, she settled on a little bit of lip gloss. But there was still the issue with her hair.

_I look awful..._

Downstairs Janie and Bridgette were stuffing Lily's purse with "essentials". She wanted to die on the spot when she noticed a tin foil packet being placed in her purse. She didn't have the time to complain because a certain Sabre parked in front of her house.

"Have fun," Janie said.

"But not too much fun," Bridgette added.

Lily sighed and rolled her eyes. She snatched her purse from Janie and went to the front door. She opened it as soon as Niko began walking up the steps. He stopped halfway at the sight of her.

"Hey Niko," she said.

"Hey," he replied. "You… you look nice." And he meant it.

"Thanks," she replied. She looked over her shoulder to make sure her friends were not peeking. "I'd let you in, but my cousin has a friend over and they're acting like idiots because we're hanging out."

"I understand. Roman and his friends act the same way."

She laughed. "I can imagine."

They walked to his car and got in. Unknown to them, Janie and Bridgette watched Lily from the window as she got into the car. Their excitement for her faded once Bridgette recognized the man with Lily and she had to explain to her friend who her cousin was going out with.

She noticed he was wearing a black and white leather jacket with dark wash jeans. She liked the way they looked on him.

"I like your clothes," she said.

"Thanks. They do, ya know."

She looked down at her lap, not knowing what else to say. Niko noticed her uneasiness and wondered if this was a good idea. He didn't even know what she liked to do. They came to a stop light near the Algonquin Expressway. Lily felt a little anxious going over the large bridge. Niko sensed this and decided to keep talking to take her mind off of it.

"So, Lily, what do you like to do?"

She thought about it for a moment before answering, "Well, I like to do a lot of things. I read, sometimes I watch TV, but I don't really do much of that anymore. I browse MyRoom and I play video games."

"Video games? That's a bit strange. I thought only children and teenage boys on too much caffeine played video games."

She turned in her seat to face him. "Hey, girls can play games, too. Besides, it relaxes me after dealing with annoying passengers all day. Everyone has something to unwind. What do you do after a hard day?"

He thought of telling her about his nightly escapades but decided against it. "Sometimes I go out and have a drink. Most of the time I walk around the city and not do much."

"I guess if things go well tonight you'll have something else to do." The moment she said it, she mentally punched herself. "What I mean is… we can hang out some more."  _Oh, my God, I can't believe I just said that._

He chuckled and said, "I think I know what you meant and yes, I wouldn't mind hanging out with you some more. If you want to that is."

She smiled. "I would like that, too."

As they came to a toll booth, Niko thought to himself that maybe this wasn't so bad. She was a nice enough girl. Although he did fear getting attached to her could lead to trouble. He would have to make sure they stayed as friends. For now.

* * *

"A veterinarian? How did you go from that to a cab driver?" Niko asked as they waited for their food at the 60 Diner in Algonquin.

Lily stirred lemon juice into her unsweetened tea. "Actually I was a vet tech. It's like a nurse for animals, but to answer your question, I wasn't sure if I really wanted to be one. I only picked it because my parents were pressuring me to pick something before I graduated senior year. I loved animals so I thought it would be fitting, but in the end, it wasn't right for me."

"Sounds like a lot of unnecessary pressure on a kid," he said.

She took a sip of tea before answering. "Yeah, I guess it was. After I quit, I went back to help my family out on their farm until my dad was in a car wreck. After that, he sort of retired and my step-mom recently retired from her job with the state. They both have enough money to look after themselves, although I am worried how long that'll last. The economy is bad lately."

"I have noticed things are not going well for others."

She sighed, "Yeah, but enough about that depressing stuff and myself. What about you? Roman said you've only been here a year."

Niko looked down at his drink, he wasn't sure what he should tell her. He wanted a fresh start, a chance to put everything behind him. He kept thinking back to what Roman had said and maybe he was right. Maybe she was his second chance at a new life. He knew he couldn't keep it all hidden from her though. So he decided to only tell her what she needed to know.

"A little over a year ago, I came here for a fresh start. I… after the war I struggled to find a job. Most people did. So the only way for me to make money and support my mother was to do things I never thought I would do. I started hanging around bad people and did bad things. Eventually, my luck ran out and I was caught."

"You served time in prison?" She asked wide eyed.

"Yes. Not my proudest moment, but a few years later I was released. I joined the merchant navy after that and now I am here." He finished his story and waited for her to say something. When she didn't speak right away he knew that she was questioning whether or not if he was worth keeping around.

Finally, she spoke up again after pouring more lemon juice into her tea, "Wow, I'm really surprised to hear all of this. You don't seem like the criminal type."

Hearing her say that almost made him choke on the Sprunk he was drinking. "Really?" he replied.

She nodded. "You seem really nice. I can't imagine you committing crimes, but you did say those were hard times."

"Yes well…" he didn't know what to say exactly. She wasn't judging him. That was a good sign, but how would she feel about what he did when he arrived here?

A waitress arrived with their food. Lily had ordered a chicken salad and Niko, not knowing what he wanted, decided to order the same thing. She piled on the cheese and croutons then carefully mixed them together. As she did this, he noticed that in all the times she arrived at the office for lunch, she hardly ate meat unless it was chicken or fish. Even then that was rare.

"I take it you are sort of a vegetarian," he asked.

She looked up from her food. "Sometimes I eat chicken and fish. Maybe buffalo for ceremonial purposes or wild game, but other than that, I stick to fruits and veggies. Growing up around farmers and watching animals being slaughtered will ruin your appetite."

"But chickens are slaughtered for our meals," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but most chickens I spent time with was free range. They lived happy lives before they died."

_This girl is very strange and yet, I like that about her._

"I suppose that makes sense. I think."

She crunched on a piece of lettuce while wondering if she should tell him about her past. Well maybe just her ex. After seeing what he did to Calvin, she wouldn't want that to be Blackie's fate.

"Ya know, Niko, this is the first time in four years that I've gone out with a guy. Even if it is just as friends."

"Really? Why is that?"

"My ex kind of ruined men for me for the longest time."

He gave her a concerned look. "He hurt you?"

"Not physically, but he hurt me emotionally. He was a great guy at first. He was sort of a drifter. Came to our farm looking for work. After awhile we grew close and eventually, we started talking about our future together even though I was going to a trade school at the time."

"Nineteen sound a little young to be making big decisions like that."

"It is, but where I lived it was the norm. Most girls I went to school with got married within two years of graduation. Anyways, we were together for a year when I began to notice he was acting differently. He became withdrawn and he was also acting sluggish. Like he was tired all the time. I wasn't feeling well around this time. I felt sick to my stomach and then I noticed I was late… if you know what I mean."

He did and worried where this story was going. She took a sip of her tea before continuing.

"I was young and stupid enough to believe a baby might fix our problems. I told him and he seemed excited. Then one day I came home from work to find that he had left and took nine-hundred dollars from my bank account for his heroin addiction. Turns out he had been to jail for it in the past for it. I thought I was pregnant and he bailed on me, but at least it was a false alarm so there's that."

"He sounds like an asshole."

She giggled. "Yeah, looking back on it, he was, but good thing he's long gone."

"Because you deserved better than that."

She smiled slightly and looked down at her meal. Her face warmed and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you," she replied sheepishly.

After they finished their meal, they stepped outside and were greeted by the cool night air. As they walked to Niko's car, Lily looked to the black sky and was disappointed at the lack of stars. She remembered sitting outside on the porch stargazing with her brother and niece. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"So what's next?" Lily asked once they reached his car.

"I don't know. I didn't think that far ahead. Most of the time everyone asks me to take them home. Do you want to go home?"

She shook her head. "Do  _you_  want to go home?"

"No," he replied, "now that we're out and about. Do you want to get a drink?"

She thought about it for a moment then decided against it. She wasn't a fan of alcohol and besides, she knew what it could lead to if they had too much.

"We could play darts or pool," she suggested.

He shrugged. "Sure, I know a place where we can go to play pool. I hope you don't mind marijuana smoke."

* * *

Lily quietly entered the house around one in the morning. She found Janie slumped down into the couch fast asleep. Lily gave her cousin a nudge.

"Hey, wake up. I'm home so you can go to bed."

Janie's eyes fluttered open. She slowly sat up while rubbing the sleep from them. "What time is it?" Janie mumbled.

"It's one fifteen a.m."

Janie groaned. "Oh man, why did you wake me up?"

"Because you're on the couch. Anyway, I'm home now."

Janie sat up straighter on the couch. She was fully awake now, her eyes wide with concern. "Oh my God, Lily, are you alright?"

Lily laughed and flopped on the couch next to Janie. "Of course I'm alright. What's wrong?"

Janie sighed and said, "Lily, I don't want to upset you, but… well…" this wasn't going to be easy. "Niko is a criminal. Bridgette says that last year one of her friends -Elizabeta I think- used to have him go on drug deals."

"I know. He told me." Lily said.

Surprised, Janie replied, "You know?"

"Yeah. He wasn't specific on what he did, but he told me enough and I believe he's a changed man."

Janie wasn't sure."I don't know… I would still be careful, Lily. You're so naive and trusting. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Lily shook her head. "I'm not naive. I just see the good in people and I see the good in Niko."

She turned and started up the stairs. She was half way up when Janie spoke up again.

"What part of Europe is he from?"

"Serbia," Lily answered.

Now Janie was really concerned. She crossed her arms and looked to Lily with worry.

"Lily, did Niko fight in the Yugoslav war?"

Lily shrugged. "He fought in a war. I don't know which one."

"That was the war he fought in. You know Serbian soldiers committed war crimes, right? They did horrible things."

Lily shook her head. "War makes anyone do horrible things. Now goodnight." She turned and continued up the stairs.

She made it to her room when Janie, who had been following her, said, "Fine, don't believe me. Look it up yourself, but I'm telling you that Niko guy is trouble."

Lily shut her bedroom door. That happy feeling she had was suddenly gone and in its place was annoyance and dread. Had she been wrong about Niko? What kind of war crimes was Janie talking about?

 _It was a war. People do things they never thought they'd do._ She kept telling herself.  _But Niko is a good man. He saved me from those would be rapists. He walks me to my car every evening. He looks after his family. He's not a bad person._

However, as the night wore on she found it hard to sleep and sometime between two am and four, her laptop and turned it on. She went to Eye Find and did research on the war. She was shocked and horrified at some the things she had read. She wanted to say she was shocked that the US was involved, but that was no surprise there. Why had she never heard of it until now? The war ended while she was in high school and current events was a subject she kept up with for the school paper.

It was five in the morning by the time she was finished. She had read enough. Not knowing how to feel at that moment, she set her laptop aside and tried to get some sleep. It wouldn't come easily to her, though.

* * *

**North Holland**

Jessie followed her Sergeant-at-Arms, Big Bess, to the burrito van. Bess, a heavy set woman with half shaved black hair, threw open the back doors to the van revealing the weapons she managed to acquire in a short amount of time.

Jessie grinned at the stockpile before her and selected an AK47. Linda stood back shaking her head in disapproval. Linda reluctantly approached the van and grabbed an SMG and a bullet proof vest. One by one each high ranking member grabbed for a weapon and a vest. The lower ranking members received low tier weapons but didn't complain because they were still eager to please their leader.

The crisp morning air had the younger members feeling hyped. Linda, however, felt the tension between her and Jessie. The night before their argument over what to do became heated, but in the end, Jessie put her foot down and her word was always the final say. On this morning as they prepared for the assault on the Angels, Linda tried one last time to reason with her president, but Jessie still refused to listen.

Jessie loved Linda as if she were a sister, but Linda didn't understand that destroying the shop was a major blow to the Steel Roses. That was their main source of funds. It was what put bread on the table for the members who struggled to find regular work, it paid doctor bills for the injured, they used it for charities to improve their image with the public. So no, Jessie wasn't going to let those Deadbeat fucks get away with this.

"Alright, ladies get ready. We're taking on these Deadbeats."


	9. Plus Positive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 will be delayed.

**North Holland**

They stood outside of the A.O.D. clubhouse with their weapons in hand. Jessie loaded a clip into her AK and motioned for Big Bess to launch a grenade into the window. The clubhouse had barely recovered from the Lost MC's assault and now one year later the Steel Roses were doing the same. Bess launched the grenade into the window. The blast shook the building and made Jessie's ears ring. She shook it off and kept her composure. Within seconds, Angels came pouring out of the building angry, frightened, and confused. Then the Roses opened fire on the male bikers. One by one they fell to the ground as the Roses emptied everything they had into them. The Angels began to fight back. One shot Aubrey Taylor, the Steel Roses' Treasurer in the shoulder and then in the leg. She dropped to the ground, writhing in pain. Melissa quickly rushed to her friend's side and pulled to her safety.

"It's those fucking bitches!" an Angel called out.

More A.O.D. arrived at the scene in vans and bikes. The women were quickly surrounded and outnumbered. Jessie hadn't anticipated that these many members would show up. It was almost as if they knew the Roses were coming. However, she refused to back down and ordered her girls to keep firing. Jessie watched as a prospect was shot several times in the chest. The poor kid was dead before she even hit the ground. As more of her girls dropped, she realized that she may have made a mistake. It was too late now. All she could do was go out guns blazing. She loaded another jacket and kept taking out Angels.

Beside her, Linda threw a grenade at five Angels clustered together. They tried to scramble away, but it went off before they could reach a safe distance. Blood and body apart were tossed in direction. Jessie took cover to avoid it.

"Keep going! We got this, ladies!" Jessie shouted over the gunfire.

Linda and Jessie ducked behind the van as they switch to their pistols.

"Fuck, Jess, we ain't gonna make it outta here!" Linda said. "You're gonna hafta call in backup."

But Jessie couldn't bring herself to do so; could her pride would not let her.

"Jessie! You need to make a decision here and now!" Linda said as she killed two A.O.D. members.

"We can do this without the Lost!"

Linda muttered something under her breath. Jessie was going to regretting her decision, but she wanted to prove that she could hold her own against any man. No matter how hard she worked with the Angels, she wasn't allowed to climb the ranks. No matter what she did or how often she tried to prove herself, they continued to look down on her. Well, now they would live to regret it.

"Jessie!" Melissa cried. She ran to them, her clothing soaked in blood.

"What the fuck happened?!" Jessie asked.

"It's Aubrey. She's lost a lot of blood and now she's unconscious! I also saw one of the Deadbeats dragged one of our girls into their clubhouse!"

"Shit!" Jessie hissed. "Okay, Linda, you stay with Aubrey while I take Melissa into the clubhouse with me."

Linda gave an exasperated sigh and tossed her hands in the air. "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? This is why we don't do shit unless we're prepared." She turned and ran towards Aubrey who was laying in a pool of her own blood. "It's gonna be okay," she whispered to her fallen friend.

"Cover me!" Jessie shouted to Big Bess. Bess gave a nod and continued her assault on the male bikers.

Jessie and Melissa rushed towards the building, taking out more of the Angels with them. Inside, there were still angels defending what was left of their clubhouse. An Angel jumped up from the bar with his sawed-off shotgun aimed at Jessie, but Melissa shot him twice in the chest. He let out a groan and dropped to the ground. The women kept moving down the hall. More bikers jumped out from their hiding places, but Jessie was quicker and gunned them down.

"I'm going to make this bitch property of the Angels!" a man's voice could be heard down in the basement.

They stopped when a woman's cries followed after the men's taunting. Jessie and Melissa looked to each with fear and worry. When another cry for help rang out, they wasted little time to make it down the stairs.

A large man was on top of a younger member of the Roses while two other men held her down. The woman thrashed around, trying to free herself, but it was all in vain. He wedged his knee between her legs, forcing them apart. He hovered over her, telling her what he was going to do to her. Jessie knew that these men must have been high out of their minds if they thought now was the right time to violate this poor girl.

Jessie didn't hesitate. She took aim and fired. The bullet ripped through the man's skull. The large man slumped over the girl. The other two men who had her arms turned their attention to the women. Before they could react, Jessie and Melissa fired several rounds into the Deadbeats.

Melissa pushed the large man off the young woman and helped her to her feet. Melissa looked down at the man and noticed the PRESIDENT badge on his vest. She swallowed and called for Jessie. Jessie looked down at the man she had killed and felt her blood run cold. She had killed Lester Arnold, her ex-boyfriend, and president of the Angels of Death. She knew then that she was dead.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Jessie ordered.

She lead the other women up the stairs and down the hall. By now the gunfire was dying down, but as they were starting to believe it was safe, another explosion went off and shook the building. Debris fell all around them and in their hair, but they kept pushing. By the time they made it up the stairs, the entire building was on fire. Flames licked the walls and rose to the ceiling. The smoke was too thick to navigate. Jessie had to feel around the room to make sure she going in the right direction. Melissa and the younger woman held onto to their president as she made her way through the smokey room.

"Jessie, where are you?" a familiar voice called out to her.

"I'm still in here! I can't see," she choked out.

She felt a rough hand wrap around her wrist. Frightened, she tried to pull away, but the hand tightened their grip.

"I'm trying to help you, you idiot!" She recognized the voice as Johnny's. She relaxed and let him guide her to safety.

They finally made it outside where she began to cough and gasp for air.

"Jessie, what the hell did you do?" Johnny said.

"I…" she coughed. "I… was getting those... Deadbeats back for… for trashing my shop. You would have done the same."

"I would have because I've been at this longer than you!"

"Fuck you, Johnny," she said, breathless.

He sighed and smoothed her unruly hair from her face. "Slow the hell down and stop being so reckless. If you want your MC to last then I suggest you stop fucking with the wrong people."

"Sure," she muttered.

It wasn't much, but it was something and that gave Johnny some comfort.

Linda pushed her way through the crowd and shouted, "Alright, everyone back the fuck up! Give these ladies some air!"

The ladies obeyed their vice president. Once Jessie's breathing evened, she straightened herself and commanded her girls to get on their bikes and clear out. In the distance, the wailing of police sirens could be heard rapidly approaching the scene.

"What about the dead?" Melissa asked.

"We have to leave them. Undertaker will take care of their bodies." Jessie said.

Everyone looked at each other, unsure of what to do.

"Are you fuckin' deaf? I said get on your bikes, ladies!" Jessie barked as the sirens grew louder.

Big Bess had already carried Aubrey to the van and drove to the hospital. The rest of them went to the clubhouse, leaving their fallen sisters behind. Jessie and Johnny rode side by side in silence; occasionally glancing each other's way.

They reached the Steel Roses' clubhouse an hour later. Jessie ordered her girls inside while she stayed outside with Johnny. They didn't speak at first. Jessie looked off into the distance wondering if she made the right decision. She felt a heavy hand rest on her shoulder. She looked to the Lost president and smiled.

"Thanks for saving my ass back there," she said.

"Don't mention it. I wasn't going to let anything happen to you."

Her heart skipped a beat at his words. It wasn't an "I love you", but it was close enough and she was fine with that. She looked into his green eyes and searched for the answer, but he was hard to read. She took a step closer and he wrapped his arms around her waist. He leaned in, she stood on her tip-toes. The moment was cut short, though.

Her hand flew to her mouth and pushed him away with the other. She sprinted to the back of the alley and puked her guts up all over the brick wall and concrete ground. Once it was over, she pressed her head against the cold bricks.

_What the fuck is wrong with me? This shit never got to me before. I should be fucking glad that I just took out an entire chapter of the Angels of Death. So why do I feel like fucking shit?_

"Pull it together, Mason," she hissed.

"You alright?" she heard Johnny say.

She gave a slow nod. He pulled her in and stroked her brown curly hair. She rested her head on him and counted to ten as a second wave of nausea washed over her. When it passed she looked up at him and gave a weak smile.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yeah, but Johnny, I need to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"I killed the Deadbeats' chapter president."

He withdrew from her but still held her by the shoulders. "You did what?! Jesus fucking Christ, Jessie, you realize you'll have the entire Angels after you?"

She swallowed down the lump in her throat. "I know I fucked up, but he was trying to rape one of my girls."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck. We gotta hide you."

She crossed her arms and looked at him defiantly, "Like hell I am! A Steel Rose never hides."

He leaned against the wall and pulled her in. She was stubborn and reckless, but he was lying if he said he didn't care about her. He wanted to say he loved her, but there was still someone else who had his heart and he fucking hated that.

* * *

The next three days were hell for Jessie. Not only was she becoming paranoid, worried that a Deadbeat would pop her any minute, but she still had difficulty holding food down. She continued club business, as usual, using her _everything is okay_ facade. Between sleepless nights and vomiting in the mornings, she wondered if she was really cut out for this after all. She had to pull herself together fast or it would the end of the Steel Roses.

By the end of the week, she wasn't feeling any better. In fact, she felt even worse than before. Certain smells made her sick faster, she was tired a lot, her breasts were also sore and tender to the touch. She worried it was the horrible C word, until one morning, after losing her breakfast, she went into the bathroom and undressed for a shower. Looking in the body length mirror on her bathroom door, she noticed that her breasts had become larger and her nipples were darker than before.

"What the fuck?" she said aloud. "What's wrong with me?"

She ran a hand over her body and noticed she had gained some weight, mostly in her lower belly. She looked to her right where the shampoo bottle rested on a shelf and noticed the unopened box of tampons. She tried to remember when she had bought them, but her memory was fuzzy. Hell, she couldn't even remember her last period.

Her first thought was to tell Linda, but it didn't feel right. Linda would only bitch about it, saying it would slow down club business. So there she was feeling lost and alone. She was pacing her apartment hours later, wondering what to do. She thought about her reckless behavior and mentally slapped herself. All of the drinking, fighting, and drug use. How could she be so stupid?

_I can't remember my last period. Shit. And what the fuck am I gonna tell Johnny? I don't have to tell him. I can always call a clinic and… Is that what I want?_

She pulled out her phone and called the only person she could think of. She looked through her contacts until she found Lily's number. The phone rang several times before someone finally answered on the other end.

"Jessie?" a soft voice answered.

"Hey, Lil, how's things goin'?" She heard crunching on the other end and held the phone away. "What the hell is that?"

There was a short pause before Lily finally spoke, "Sorry, I was eating. Anyway, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you could do me a favor. I'll pay ya back. I know we ain't talked much, but you're the only person I could turn to." She said as fell back onto the couch.

"Sure, anything. What do you need?"

An hour and a half later, Lily arrived at the apartment with a pink and white box in hand. Jessie opened the door and quickly shuffled her friend in. She grabbed the test and rushed to the bathroom. It wasn't long before she was finished and the two women were sitting together during the longest three minutes of Jessie's life. Lily held Jessie's trembling hand while the seconds ticked by. Her thoughts drifted to Johnny and his reaction if the odds were not in their favor. Ten months earlier, when they first got together, he told her he wasn't the "family type" which was fine with her. Growing up in her fucked up family turned her off of the idea of having one of her own.

She didn't have to keep it, though. She didn't have to tell Johnny anything. She could easily walk into a clinic and walk out and her life could go back to normal. She and Johnny would be free to carry on as always. He would never have to know. What did a couple of bikers know about raising a kid anyhow? But some bikers had families all the time. Big Bess had five kids(something that surprised Jessie). She remembered Johnny mentioning his late friend, Jim, who had a wife and kid.

_Yeah, and look where he is now. Do you really want your kid to grow up without a father or its mother?_

They had been careful, hadn't they? Okay, so maybe sometimes they didn't use a condom. So maybe Johnny promised to pull out in time and he didn't always do that, but she had seen herself as invincible. There was no way she could be pregnant. Nope. No possible way. She couldn't have a kid.

Jessie had always considered herself extremely pro-choice because, in her opinion, some people didn't deserve kids. Linda was against it, though; Said it killed innocent babies and whatnot. How strange coming from a woman who killed twenty gang members last week. Then, of course, there was adoption, but the thought of selling her baby to the highest bidder didn't set right with her. Probably some rich, white, yuppie couple would take it in and then raise it to be a pansy.

The timer on Lily's phone beeped, interrupting her thoughts. She looked at the younger woman and told her to check the test because she couldn't bring herself to do it. Lily held up the test and gave Jessie the news.

Lily looked at Jessie with a sympathetic glance and said, "It's positive."

The moment Lily spoke those words, it felt as if Jessie's world was crumbling around her. She buried her face in her hands and cried. As Jessie's body shook with sobs, Lily gathered her friend in her arms and cradled her like a child. She stroked Jessie's hair and told her everything would be alright, but it wasn't going to be alright. Nothing would be alright ever again.

"Shhh… it's okay, Jess. Don't cry, please don't cry. I'm here for you." Lily whispered.

But Jessie couldn't stop crying.


	10. Reformed?

**Alderney**

Twelve weeks. She was twelve weeks along and never had symptoms until now.

Jessie left the Westdyke hospital holding a folder that contained her next appointment, sonogram, prenatal vitamins, and a booklet that documented the development of the fetus. Before the appointment, it didn't feel real to her, but now that she saw the heartbeat it finally hit her. Maternal instincts she never knew she possessed overwhelmed her and she wanted to cry again. It seemed to happen a lot lately.

"It looks like a jelly bean with arms." Lily pointed out.

Jessie giggled. "It does, doesn't it? I think that's what I'll call it for now. My little Jelly Bean." She felt silly being so mushy over something the size of a pea, but she could not help herself.

"So, you're really keeping it?" Lily asked as she buckled.

"Yeah, I guess so. Maybe it won't be so bad, ya know?" Jessie said as she started the truck. "I'm still scared though."

"It's understandable," Lily replied.

A few days after Jessie took the test, Lily decided to go on the pill. After watching Jessie completely lose it she did not want that for herself. Even though she wasn't sexually active and had not been for some time. It was better to be safe than sorry she figured. Then again, she wasn't into grimy bikers who didn't have their shit together.

Other than the radio blaring Liberty Rock Radio, the drive home was mostly in silence. Lily hung her arm out the passenger window and watched the pedestrians and buildings pass by them as Jessie drove a little too fast for her comfort. At least they weren't on that deathtrap Jess called a motorcycle.

"Are you allowed to ride your bike?" Lily asked as they passed Colony Island.

"Yeah, but the doc said to take it easy."

Lily wasn't so sure. "I don't know, won't the vibrations shake the baby around?"

Jessie laughed at this. "Lily, I can ride bikes just fine. I've never been in an accident or anything and I'm not taking any risks."

"Well.. okay, just be careful."

"Always," Jessie replied.

* * *

**Dukes**

The fluorescent light above Niko flickered as he browsed the liquor store in a sleazy part of town. When he came to the section that held the vodka, he noticed flavors that he had never heard of before. Lemonade, strawberry, peach, mango, and… marshmallow? Gross. Why did they have to violate his favorite beverage that way? They didn't even have the brand he liked. Oh well, as long as it wasn't marshmallow.

Behind him, the little bell above the door rang, signaling that someone else had entered. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed a man in a dirty gray jacket and a scruffy beard move for the whiskey. The scrawny kid behind the register who was probably fresh out of college, paid them little mind as he flipped through a porno magazine. Niko turned his attention back to the beverages before him and selected a bottle of plain vodka.

His phone vibrated in his jacket. He reached for it and noticed he had a text message from Lily.

_Hey there :3_  it read.

He never understood why people continued to text him when he never replied back. He tried it once, but couldn't figure the shit out. He scrolled down to her name in his contacts, ready to call her when…

"Will there be anything else, sir?" the cashier asked.

"Yeah, you can give me all the money in your register," it was that grimy looking guy in the gray jacket.

Niko ducked behind a shelf full of salty snacks and readied his combat pistol. Slowly he crept from shelf to shelf to avoid being seen. The cashier fumbled around, pissing off the robber.

"If you don't hurry the fuck up, I'll blow your brains out!" the robber warned.

Once Niko was close enough, he jumped out from behind his hiding place with his pistol drawn. "Drop the gun!"

The robber turned to face Niko and sneered. "Fuck off, you filthy Russian!"

"I don't ask twice." He didn't want to pull the trigger, but if this idiot didn't listen...

The man pointed his 9mm at Niko and fired. Niko waited for the burning sensation of a bullet wound, but nothing. He felt around his body for any gunshot wounds and was relieved that he didn't find any. The scruffy robber was too high to properly aim.

This time Niko shot the man in the knee. He went down, screaming and holding his leg on the floor. Niko walked over to him, kicked the gun away from him, and shot him in the other leg.

"Stop shooting me, you Russian fuck!" the man screamed.

"I'm not a Russian," Niko replied.

The robber could only lay there, red in the face and writhe in pain as Niko stepped over him and approached the counter. He handed the vodka to the cashier, but he declined.

"It's on me, man," he said.

Niko turned and left the store quickly as sirens wailed in the distance. He tossed the vodka in the passenger seat and peeled out of there.

Once he felt he was at a safe distance, he pulled out his phone and called Lily. Her phone rang a few times before the girl answered. Her cheerful voice on the other end helped him momentarily forget the event that happened only minutes earlier.

"Hey, Lily, I saw your text. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I was seeing what you were up to and if you wanted to hang out or something. I'm kind of bored."

He gave it some thought before he replied, "Sure, we can do something."

"Cool, I'll see you in an hour or two."

Half an hour later he arrived at her house. He knocked on the door and a tall, slender, woman with dark brown hair answered. She looked to be Native American or at least half. She leaned against the doorway, eyeing him, judging him. He was used to it, though he wished she'd stop looking at him like that. He wasn't sure why she seemed so standoffish towards him.

"Yeah," she answered in an icy tone.

"Hi, uh, I'm here to see Lily." He said.

The woman didn't move or offer to let him in. "She's upstairs getting ready."

"Janie, is that Niko? Let him in will you," Lily called from upstairs. Janie sighed and opened the door wider.

"Come on in."

Niko followed Janie inside. She told him to have a seat at the kitchen table. She offered him a drink but didn't seem sincere. He wondered why she was acting the way she was. Lily spoke highly of her cousin, telling Niko was really friendly to everyone. When he declined a drink, she shrugged it off and stood near the sink from across the kitchen.

"So," she began, "you're interested in my cousin?"

"As friends," he replied.

"I see, but what's a guy like you hanging out with a girl like her? Ain't she a little too young for you to pal around with? How old are you anyway?"

He felt a tinge of annoyance with her questions and attitude. There was no reason for it. If she wasn't Lily's cousin, he would have told her off. He was about to answer her when he heard light footsteps coming down the stairs. The young Lakota woman rounded the corner, dressed in pink shorts and a black tank top. She beamed when she saw Niko.

"Hey there, Niko. Ready to go?"

He gave a nod and stood. "Nice meeting you," he said dryly to Janie.

Janie gave an icy stare and replied, "Yeah, likewise."

* * *

**Firefly Island**

The beach was practically deserted as they walked along the boardwalk. Lily took in the salty air, feeling relief that she was out of the house and had someone with her this time. For most of her life, she spent her free time alone unless it was with Amber, but looking back, she wasn't the best company. Sometimes she enjoyed the alone time, she didn't have to pretend she was someone else or have meaningless small talk. Other times, she felt the loneliness and not even Janie could make her feel better. She was glad she had someone like Niko to talk to.

To her left, the sun was setting over the water, making it look as if it were on fire. The sky was a mix of pink and orange. She never had a chance to come here at dusk, Janie warned her it was too dangerous, but she had Niko with her this time and felt safe with him.

_Safe._  It had never occurred to her until now, but Niko made her feel safe.

"The sunset looks nice, don't you think?" She asked.

When he didn't answer her, she looked at him with concern. He was always tired and she wondered why. What did he really do after work?

"Niko, are you okay?" She asked.

He looked at her with an expression she couldn't read. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you always seem tired. Was this a bad idea? If you're not feeling well, we can always-"

"No, I'm fine," he replied, cutting her off. "I just have trouble sleeping. Do not worry about me."

"Oh,"

She turned her attention back to the water as the sun was slowly sinking on the horizon. They leaned against the railing of the boardwalk. Occasionally their hands brushing against each other. She wished he'd take her hand or at least she wished she had the courage to do it, but rejection was one of her fears.

"Can I ask you something?" She said.

"You want to know what war is like?" Niko asked in a deadpan tone.

Her eyes widened. "What, no! I would never ask that question."

"Really? Most people can't wait to ask that question."

"I think it's rude to ask. I wouldn't want to upset you by bringing up those painful memories. Actually, I was curious if your country had beaches."

"Trust me, the memories are always with me, but to answer your question, yes we have beaches. The one I went to was nice for the most part."

"I'm sure it looks nicer than this one. I want to go swimming, but I'm afraid of getting an infection in that water. Sometimes, I think about home and the clear creeks I'd swim in and then I'd miss it."

"I know that feeling of longing for home," he said as they walked through the deserted Carnival.

"I can imagine. My home is a two-hour drive while yours is across the ocean," she said.

"Be thankful that you are not too far."

She heard the longing in his voice and felt a stab of pity for him. She wanted to say something to make him feel better, but the words didn't come to her.

"I never did like the city," he said. "It's loud and the flashy billboards give me a headache. I doubt this will ever be my home."

"I know how you feel," she turned to face him. "I know where we can-" before she could finish her sentence Niko had taken her hand and forced her to a stop. She was thankful for the darkness that hid her blush. "Niko, what are you do-"

"Hey, player!" a voice called out.

The two turned to around to find an African American man standing close behind them. He wore a black vest over a gray jacket and black jeans. Lily's gut feeling told her that something wasn't right about this guy.

"Hey," Niko greeted.

"Remember me?" the man asked.

Niko thought about it for a moment before replying, "No, not really."

"You made me beg, player!" the man lowered himself, "Please don't kill me, boss!"

"Yes, I remember you, Clarence. So, did you reform, like you promised?"

Clarence straightened himself and had a look in his eyes that made Lily uncomfortable. She clung to Niko's arm as Clarence inched a little closer.

"You could say I made some changes, player…" his voice trailed off as he reached into his coat and withdrew a 9mm pistol. "I made some changes," he repeated.

"Good for you," Niko said as stepped in front of Lily. He shrugged her off his arm, not to be mean, but so he could be ready to draw his own weapon. His eyes briefly flickered to the alley next to them. If needed, they could take cover there.

"Yeah, I decided I wasn't gonna let nobody make me… beg anymore," Clarence held up the pistol and waved it around.

"Come on, man, don't be a dick," Niko said as he slowly back away with Lily.

"I might be a dick, but you's a bitch!" Clarence aimed his gun at the couple and fired.

Niko pushed Lily into the alley and took cover. Lily pressed herself flat against the wall as the gunfight broke out. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to see any dead bodies or blood for that matter.

Clarence shot off a few rounds and Niko returned the fire. He never left cover or Lily's side. He stuck out his arm instead and aimed blindly. The fight didn't last long because soon enough, a police car arrived at the scene. The officers stepped out and joined in on the action. Niko quickly placed his combat pistol in his jacket as bullets ripped through Clarence.

Niko grabbed Lily's hand and tugged for her to follow. She responded and didn't argue with him when he commanded her to run. Behind them, the police called out to them as they ran through the park. An officer was on their tail, but as luck would have it, they had a pot bellied cop after them.

They weaved between the tickets booths and concession stands. Niko ordered her to climb the chainlink fence and when it proved difficult for her, he gave her boost over. She hit the other side with a thud while Niko climbed over with ease and landed on his feet. He hauled her to her feet and told her to keep running.

Once they were at a safe distance, Lily collapse against the wall. Black spots filled her vision as she tried to catch her breath. She wasn't as in shape as she had believed. She needed to use her gym membership more.

"Who… was that…" she said between pants.

Niko, who was used to running from the cops for a much longer length of time, caught his breath quickly and said, "Some asshole I spared a while ago."

"Christ, Niko, he was insane. I saw the look in his eyes."

"Well, he's dead now," Niko said.

They stepped out of the dark alleyway and into the amber glow of a street light. It was then that Lily saw the rip in the arm of his jacket and the blood trickling down. This couldn't be happening again!

"Niko, you've been hit! We need to get you to the hospital," she said.

Niko, being a stubborn man, refused. "I'll be fine. It's only a flesh wound."

"Oh stop with the tough guy act. Come on, my house is a few blocks from here."

So they walked the two blocks to her house. Halfway there, Niko clutched his arm as his wound began to throb and burn. He kept up with her though.

Her orange Blista was parked outside, but Janie's green Lokus was missing. Both felt relief at this and Niko followed Lily up the stairs that lead to her front door. Inside he followed her to the kitchen where she made him sit at the table. She quickly moved around the kitchen opening the cupboard doors. She grumbled something about a missing first aid kit before giving up.

He took off his jacket revealing that the bullet had only grazed his arm. However, the wound was deep enough that he would need stitches. Lily swallowed, wondering if she should stitch him herself. She had the medical training, but that was with animals. She had never stitched a human before.

"Okay, wait here," she said before leaving the kitchen.

Minutes later, she returned with an arm full of supplies. She dropped them on the table and turned to get a bowl from the sink. She had her back to him as she scrubbed the dish.

His eyes drifted down to the roundness of her buttocks. Seeing the way they looked in those shorts of hers made his pants tighten. It was the same way he had felt that day she bent over in front of him and once again he felt a bit guilty about it. He was getting too old to keep chasing girls her age. A girl who had so much ahead of her that it wouldn't fair to her if they took it further. They were eight years apart and an age gap that big would only cause problems later on. He knew he could end it all right here and now; nip it in the bud before anything became more than just a friendship, but he couldn't do it.

_If this were to end, then she would need to be the one to do it._

The sounds of the bowl clanging against the table stirred him out of his thoughts. He looked up at her and she flashed him a smile.

He liked the way she smiled.

"I have to sanitize the instruments before I can begin," she said. "Until then, I need to clean the area."

With a warm, soapy wash cloth in hand, she gently wiped away the blood surrounding his injury. His breath catch in his throat as her fingers brushed his rough skin. How many nights had he laid awake wishing for a soft, gentle touch like hers? More than he cared to admit.

Lily studied the scars on his arm and felt a current go through her body. Some were small, others large. Some were straight, others jagged. They made him rugged with each one telling a story of his past. She wanted to ask him about them. Wanted to trace them with her fingers, but she didn't.

Once the utensils in the bowl were sterilized, she rinsed the cloth in the sink and turned her attention back to him.

"This will hurt," she said as she threaded the needle.

"I'm used to pain," he replied.

"I know," she said softly.

She wiped the area with an alcohol pad and quickly went to work. He kept up his stoic nature, never flinch or remarking about the pain. He saw the concentration on her face as she placed each stitch in his arm. Her brow furrowed and she bit her bottom lip. It was interesting to watch.

It was over faster than he thought. She snipped the last stitch and announced she was done.

"Not bad," he said while looking over her needle work.

She brightened at his compliment. "Thank you! Just remember to take it easy for the next five to seven days. After that come see me and I'll remove them for you."

"Don't mention it. Maybe the next time I get hurt, I'll come to you."

"I might have to start charging you," she teased. "It seems getting injured is a hobby for you."

"Well I'm trying to find new ones," he said.

Her dark brown eyes looked into his auburn ones as she said, "Maybe I can help you with that?"

"Maybe," he said softly. He tried to think of something else to say, but couldn't find the right words. He never was that great when it came to talking with women.

Lily wished she had the courage and confidence in herself to make the first move, like Jessie or Bridgette. She wanted to tell him how she felt whenever she was around him, that her heart would race when he'd look at her a certain way, or that sometimes she thought about him at night when things were quiet and she was alone with her thoughts. That her heart had been broken by someone she trusted, but he had healed it. She wanted to say all of this, but couldn't.

Niko wanted to tell her about his criminal past and not just the petty crimes, she needed to know about the violent ones, too. He needed to tell her about the horrible things he saw and did during the war, he wanted to tell her about Kate and how much he had cared for her and how much it hurt when she died. She needed to know so she could understand why this wasn't easy for him. That his heart had been blackened by his evil deeds and nothing could heal it. He wanted to say all of this, but couldn't.

After a moment of silence, Lily finally said, "You said you hated the city, right?"

"I wouldn't say I hate it, but it's not my favorite place to be," he said.

"Before we were rudely interrupted by that crazy guy, I was going to tell you that I wanted to take you somewhere you'd like. It's a spot I used to go to for peace and quiet outside the city limits."

"In the woods?"

She nodded.

Niko had never left city limits before, not knowing if he would become lost. He longed for the peace the outdoors provided. He wanted to hear the crickets and night birds sing their twilight songs. He missed watching the fireflies dance above a clear creek and reflect off the water. It was tempting to go.

"So, what do you say? We can go next weekend and enjoy ourselves," she said.

He gave it some thought before he said, "Sure, it sounds fun."

She smiled. "Great! We can take my car since it handles dirt roads better and I promise, you'll love it."

He laughed. "I'm sure I will."

Later that night, she drove him back to Firefly Island where his car was parked.

"Goodnight, Lily," he said.

"Goodnight, Niko," she replied. She was disappointed that he didn't try his luck, but she hoped by next week he would be more comfortable with her.

_I'll get to you, yet, Niko Bellic. Just you wait and see._

Once she returned home, she found a flyer pressed against the railing of the steps. Curious, she bent down and picked it up. Printed onto the paper was a picture of a young brunette woman who looked to be in her late teens or early twenties. Her brown curly hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her eyes were blue. She was pretty, whoever she was.

As Lily read the information on the flyer, she remembered seeing that girl's face all over the news.

_Mackenzie Heder_

_DoB: 2/17/1983_

_Died On: 5/22/2002_

_If you have any information on the murder of this woman report to the Steel Roses. Reward is $3500_

The Steel Roses? Why did they care? Jessie said her club had only been in Alderney for the past year, so this girl couldn't have been a Rose at the time. She would have to ask Jessie about it later.

Lily folded the flyer and continued inside her house. When she was in high school, she had a fascination for cold case murders. Her friends and family thought she weird because of it. But there was something about unsolved murders that grabbed her attention. Even now she would watch a documentary on the subject.

A minute later she was on her laptop typing in the girl's name on EyeFind. She came across several articles about Mackenzie and the mystery around her murder. Unfortunately, she came across photos of the poor girl's grayed, decomposing body. Some the articles stated that it was possible that an immigrant was to blame, but Liberty City always blamed immigrants so she brushed off the idea. Another suspected was recently deceased serial killer, Eddie Low, but he was quickly ruled out because the way Mackenzie was killed did not fit Low's M.O.

Liberty City and Alderney had stated that it was possible that two serial killers were working in the area around the same time. Shortly after Mackenzie's death, two more young women were found murdered the same way. All three women had been choked to death and sexually assaulted. Their clothes were ripped and jewelry was missing from their persons. So far he had taken the lives of several women over the years.

None of that was more frightening that the recording he had left on someone's voicemail. As Lily listened to the man's heavy breathing combined with his accented voice, she felt a prickly feeling crawl down her spine. She suddenly became paranoid and shut her laptop. She dashed down the stairs and checked all of the locks on her doors(sometimes twice), then grabbed the largest kitchen knife they had before going back up the stairs, to the safety of her bedroom. She thought about calling Niko and asking him to come over again but thought against it. He would probably just laugh at her.

Because she couldn't help herself, she watched a documentary on serial killers which only added to her paranoia. She spent most of the night sitting on her bed with the knife in hand. It wasn't until Janie finally came home she could relax. When her cousin found her hiding under the sheets, she couldn't help but laugh.

"You watched creepy documentaries again, didn't you?" Janie asked.

"Yes," Lily admitted, suddenly feeling silly for being scared of her own shadow.

Janie rolled her eyes. "You're something else and I don't know if that's a good thing or not."

Lily tried to tell herself she would okay, but later that night she slept with the light on.

* * *

**Somewhere in the Subway Tunnels...**

Damir Brevic found his younger brother, Darko passed out on the cold cement ground. He gave the heroin junkie a swift kick in the ribs. Darko, who was coming down from a high, peaked open a reddened, glazed eye. He lifted his head to get a better look at his big brother.

" _Ostavi me da umrem,_ " Darko muttered before laying his head back on the cool concrete.

" _Pogledaj se, ti si patetičan!"_  Damir hissed.

" _Odlaziti_ "

Darko rolled over to face the brick wall. Damir grabbed his brother by the collar of his dirty, frayed shirt and forced him to his feet. Darko protested and swore as he was forced to stand and forced to walk down the dark tunnels. He was coming down hard and the last thing he needed was his brother bitching to him.

Damir knew the tunnels like the back of his hand and never had a problem navigating through them. The darkness down here had become his friend. He never had to pretend to be someone else when he was in the tunnels. Never had to deal with bullshit small talk or fake a smile. He could be himself and do what he wanted in the pitch black of the subway tunnels, sometimes it was with whoever he wanted. It didn't matter if they had a choice in the matter.

They eventually made it to a maintenance room that led up to the surface. Darko entered the passenger seat where he slumped over. Damir got in his car, reached over and backhanded Darko. The younger Serb's eyes flew open and he sat up straighter in his seat. Darko glared at Damir, but Damir wasn't afraid of his brother. It was the other way around.

" _Zašto si ovde?"_ Darko asked, lazily.

" _Govori engleski._ Because you are a fool, but you are also brother."

The amber glow from the dome light revealed that the left side of Damir's face had a nasty, U-shaped scar that started above Damir's brow and came down passed his cheekbone. His nose was crooked from being broken at one point and three of his back molars had been knocked out. They were reminders of an assault that his assailant saw as justifiable. Maybe it had been, but Damir didn't care. His attacker had given him more than just physical wounds and for that, he would make that man pay. If he were still alive. Which Damir highly doubted it. If rumors were correct then he died in an ambush years ago.

Darko had been staring at the scars when Damir reached over and hit his brother again.

"What are you looking at,  _ti patetičan crv!"_  Damir snarled.

Darko knew better than to talk back to his brother. All he could do now was apologize and hope that Damir didn't punish him later. Damir sighed and looked out the windshield. He wanted to say that he felt sorry for his brother, but he found it impossible when the man was nothing but a snake in the grass. Damir reached into his coat pocket and pulled a small baggie containing brown powder. He held it up and dangled it in front of Darko. It was the same routine since the brothers had reunited four months ago. Damir tempted his brother with heroin, Darko would try to resist, but in the end, he gave in to his demons and took the drug. All Darko had to do was find Damir prey.

"Before you can have it, you must tell me what you found," Damir said.

Darko's gaze never left the heroin as he told Damir where to find the next girl. "She is here in Hove Beach. She is short, has long blonde hair, and I think she is Russian, but I am not sure. She looks to be in late teens, early twenties. She works night shift at diner."

"I don't like blondes, but I will make an exception. Here you go,  _ne preterujte."_

Two nights later the Brevic brothers were in the tunnels again with Damir's latest prey. Despite being bound and gagged, the young blonde woman put up a fight. Though it was in vain as she was quickly overpowered by Damir.

Darko sat in the dirt, watching as the young woman desperately tried to scream for help. He looked away, unable to the stomach the evil sins his brother was committing. He turned on the radio next to him and shut his eyes, wanting to be anywhere, but here.

_You did far worse during the war, Darko. Never forget that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serbian translations in this chapter: 
> 
> Ostavi me da umrem = Leave me to die
> 
> Pogledaj se, ti si patetičan = Look at you, you are pathetic 
> 
> Odlaziti = Go away
> 
> “Zašto si ovde?” = Why are you here? 
> 
> “Govori engleski” = Speak English 
> 
> Ti patetičan crv = You pathetic worm! 
> 
> Ne preterujte = Don’t overdose.


	11. Self-Loathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've put an easter egg in this chapter. Tell me if you found it. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't my best, but I haven't been feeling well on top of feeling depressed and I guess this chapter kind of reflects that. I wanted to write Niko's darker side and show that he's still hurting from Kate's death. I'll probably remake it later. I'm sorry if I've disappointed.

 

**Alderney**

She called him early that morning asking him to come over; that they needed to talk. Johnny hated when his girlfriend would say that. It usually meant trouble, but Jessie was different, wasn't she?

He parked his bike in front of her shop. Terry and Clay had come along, but he asked them to wait outside while he spoke to Jessie. No one was around, except for her. She had her back to him as she swept broken glass and debris into a dustpan. Her long dark hair was pulled back into a white bandanna. She knew he was here, he didn't know why she was ignoring him. He decided he would be the first to speak.

"Looks good," he said.

She stopped and turned to face him. She looked as if she had been crying, but it was probably from all of the dust in the air. He couldn't imagine a tough girl like Jessie ever crying.

"Hey, Johnny. I'm glad you're here," she said. Although the tone of her voice said otherwise.

He moved to the work bench and began to organize the screws, nuts, and bolts that had been spilled. Each little item going into its own jar.

"Something wrong?" Johnny asked.

Jessie sighed and place the broom in the corner. She kept herself at a distance, something that wasn't normal for her. "There is something wrong, Johnny K. I don't know how to tell you this."

"Tell me what, sugar?"

The only sound that could be heard were screws and bolts falling into a jar. The moments ticked by as Jessie tried to find the courage. This wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be said.

She swallowed. "I-I'm..." she stopped to take a breath. "Johnny, I'm… I'm pregnant."

He was thankful for the workbench in front him because in that moment he almost stumbled over. It felt as if his world had imploded around him and he wasn't sure if he had just heard her right. His mind went numb and it felt as if a cold stone had dropped in his stomach. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't real. He couldn't be a father.

Their lives were too fucked up to bring a child into it, but he had the money to help her deal it. Problem solved.

The seconds passed by in silence. When he didn't speak, she took a step forward.

"I've decided to keep it," Jessie said with a tremble in her voice.

She was keeping it! What was she thinking?! Anger surged through him. He spun around to face her. Never had she seen him so angry before.

"So you made this decision without asking me?"  _Stop talking while you're ahead, Klebitz!_ A small part of him warned, but he couldn't stop himself. "How can you be so selfish?"

The defiance in her came back. She straightened herself and looked him in the eyes with her own fury. "My body, my choice! Maybe if you had worn a rubber this wouldn't have happened!"

"You told me it was fine. That you kept track of that shit!" Now he was really pissed off.

"Oh don't even blame this all on me! I didn't knock myself up, ya know."

He let out a growl of annoyance. "Maybe next time  _you_ should consider how your decisions affect the people around you! This is bullshit!"

He didn't let her reply. He turned and stormed out of the garage where Terry and Clay had been listening to the entire time. Jessie stood alone in the garage with her hand resting on her stomach. She tried to swallow down the knot of emotion in her throat, but it wouldn't go away.

She knew this moment wouldn't be sunshine and rainbows, but she also didn't expect him to react the way he did. Did this mean she was going to do this alone? She exhaled a breath she didn't know she was holding, grabbed the broom, and went back to her previous mindless task as the roar of motorcycles faded away.

_Well, Jelly Bean, I guess it's just you and me from now on._

* * *

Dark clouds thick with rain cast over the city. Its citizens were quickly making their way to their cars and homes as the first droplets of rain began to fall. Despite this, it didn't stop Niko from leaving his apartment in North Holland. He stepped outside and pulled his hood over his head as he walked towards his car.

He got in and turned on the radio expecting Liberty Rock Radio to play, only to be greeted by a Weasel News announcement. He was ready to turn the station when a report caught his attention.

" _It seems that another young woman is missing, this time near Hove Beach."_ The female reporter began, " _Twenty-one year old Galina Reznikov of Hove Beach was last seen leaving the 69 Diner Saturday night after completing her shift. Reznikov had immigrated from Russia two years earlier and was working as a waitress since she arrived. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, her height is five-five and she weighs ninety-eight pounds. She was last seen wearing a red shirt with blue jeans and pink sneakers. If you have any information-"_

Niko switched off the radio and leaned back in his seat. He remembered that girl from when he used to go to the diner. She was always friendly toward him and there were times when she even tried flirting with him. He felt a stab of pity for the poor girl. The reporter said another girl had gone missing which made him wonder how many others were there. He had never heard of it before, but then again, he changed the station whenever the news came on.

He thought of Lily and her nightly trips to the gym. She still had not learned basic self-defense which worried him. He was surprised after what happened to her back in February that she was still going out. He took out his phone and thought of calling Lily to warn her, but while his thumb hovered over the call button, he realized that he didn't want to frighten her.

 _It's for her own protection._  He told himself.

Her phone rang several times before it went to voicemail. He hated leaving voice messages so he hung up and decided to call her again later.

He spent the next half hour driving around the neighborhood, looking for any signs of trouble, but when he didn't find any, he drove for Bohan. There was always trouble in Bohan.

An hour later, he arrived at his destination and parked his car at the apartment he stayed in for months after Kate had died. He remembered lying on that uncomfortable fold out couch for days on end, drowning his misery in bottles of vodka. Surprisingly enough, his liver was still functioning. He hoped it would be enough to kill him, but it never did and he continued to go on living. That was his curse, it seemed. Everyone he cared about always got hurt and it was his fault. He was shot, stabbed, and everything in between.

He began his patrol up and down the neighborhoods of South Bohan. By then the rain had let up. So far, he stopped one mugging and a break in. By midnight, there was nothing else going on. He was ready to leave when he heard the cry for help and a metal trash cans hitting the ground.

Niko felt the pistol in his jacket before rushing towards the alley. He saw three shadows moving along the brick wall, two of them holding the other.

"Where's the fuckin' money, kid?" a gruff voice said.

Niko glanced from behind the wall and saw that the men's victim was Eric, the boy he helped out two months earlier.

"I told you, I don't have it all yet! Please just give me enough time!" Eric begged, but his aggressors didn't pity him.

Niko readied himself before coming out of his hiding place. "Hey! Leave the kid alone!"

The two men turned to face Niko and move for him. One held a bat while the other had a chain.

"Come on, let's show this Commie fuck who he's messing with," the one with the bat said. He swung, but Niko dodged and landed a punch on the man's jaw.

The other thug swung his chain. Niko caught it and with a firm tug, he took it for his own use. He quickly wrapped it around his fist and landed a punch on the thug's face. THe man went down and into a pile of trash. The man with the bat came at Niko again, but he threw back his elbow and hit the man in the nose. He covered his nose and cried out that Niko had broken it.

"You'll get worse if I see you picking on this kid again!" Niko warned.

Both men groaned in pain and limped away from the scene. Once Niko was sure they were out of sight, turned his attention to Eric. The boy was dusting himself off when Niko approached him.

"You alright?" Niko asked.

Eric brushed the dirt out of his hair before answering. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for saving my ass back there."

"What did they want from you?"

Eric leaned against the brick wall and crossed his arms. "I borrowed money from them and I couldn't pay it back."

"I see. How is your father?"

This time the boy had a sadness in his eyes and Niko instantly knew. He saw Eric in February, it was April now. He was surprised at how quickly time had passed.

"He died," Eric said with a defeated tone. He adjusted the strap on his backpack before continuing, "He died and now I'm on the streets. I'm almost a legal adult, but I still had to live with my uncle. I thought he was cool, but he turned out to be an asshole."

Niko sighed and waved for the kid to follow him. "Come on, kid, I'll give you a place to stay." He could sense the boy's hesitation so he reassured him it was alright. "My apartment is in here in Bohan. It's only a few blocks away."

Eric followed Niko down the sidewalk in silence. Once they reached the apartment, Eric looked around and laughed. "Well, it's not as bad as I thought," the boy commented.

Niko ignored the boy's opinion on the apartment and walked past him towards the kitchen. He began throwing garbage and old food away while making a mental note to clean up after himself more. Even if he was depressed. He stacked the dishes next to the sink because he didn't have dish soap to wash them.

"Are we roommates or something?" Eric asked.

"I live in Algonquin, but sometimes I come here when I need to get away from people," Niko said as he set the trash can aside. "But I will check in on you." He reached into his wallet laid out two-hundred dollars on the counter. "Here, this is for food and whatever else you need."

Eric set his backpack on the fold out couch and flopped down. "Hey listen, man, you don't have to do this. I mean, I ain't gonna mug people or nothin', but I'll find away to make money."

"Don't worry about it, kid, you need it more than I do,"

"If you insist, but don't worry, I'll pay you back someday!" Eric replied as he dug around in his bag.

"You don't need to pay me back. Just stay out of trouble."

* * *

He left the apartment a minute later suddenly feeling drained. Most of the time he could stay out all night and take out as many "bad guys" as he could, but tonight wasn't the night for him. It felt as if he was losing steam faster than usual. In fact the entire week he felt something wasn't right, though he couldn't figure out why.

He had work in three hours and was not looking forward to it. He hated the job if he were honest with himself. He hated the passengers too. Well, not all them, but most of them he did. Actually, he hated people in general. This wasn't the job that was right for him, but then again none of the jobs out there would be right for him unless it involved killing.

He remembered the last job he took involved eliminating a target. He agreed to it, grabbed his sniper rifle and went to the top of a building in Alderney. The target was supposed to be on a blue speedboat by themselves. Even from a distance, he could see the boat and the target, but something wasn't right. Once he was in position, he zoomed in on the target to find it was a teenage girl. His finger hovered over the trigger. It would be easy enough: kill the girl and get his paycheck, but as he watched her through the scope, he knew he couldn't kill her. He didn't have it in him. Roman was right, the killing had to stop. He sighed and lowered the rifle, then called the Fixer to let him know the mission was a failure. He decided then and there, he was through.

Once he arrived "home" he fell onto the bed and crawled under the covers. He checked the time on his phone and it was then that he saw the date. One year had passed since the wedding. One year ago he failed the woman he loved. His chest felt heavy and fresh tear stung his eyes as memories came flooding back. He tried to swallow down the painful knot of emotion that clung to his throat, but in the end, the grief won and quickly consumed him. He lied there for whatever length of time had passed as silent sobs shook his body. Before this moment, he turned his grief into anger to keep it at bay, but after holding it all back for an entire year he couldn't stand it any longer. Sweet, innocent Kate had paid the price for his sins. It was his fault and his alone. No matter what anyone said he only had himself to blame.

He was meant to protect her and he failed.

Once it was over, he was drained of all energy and quickly fell asleep. His dreams were filled with Kate and the wedding.

When she looked at him that day with those emerald green eyes, he saw hope for the first time in years, he saw a chance to start again, a better future for himself. Then it in a matter of moments, it was all taken from him. Why didn't he see the car? He was good at spotting things out of the ordinary, but he was too blind and distracted to see what was happening and by the time that car containing Pegorino had been noticed it was too late.

Seconds later Kate McReary was dead.

Niko awoke sometime around noon. The light from the windows forced his eyes shut again. He groaned and swore in his native tongue as he slowly opened his eyes. Rolling to his left, he reached out for his phone on the dresser. He had eight missed calls, five from Roman, two from Mallorie, and one from Lily. He found that he had three messages from the previously mentioned.

 _Hey NB are you coming in today?_ Roman's read.

 _Niko could you please give us a call?_  Mallorie.

 _Are you okay? I saw that you called last night. Sorry, I was busy but I tried calling back._ Lily.

He stared at his phone for a moment before crawling out of bed. It was simple to call them back and tell them he was okay, but he found that he didn't have the energy to care if they knew. He turned off his phone and left it on the counter before making his way to the fridge.

He grabbed for the vodka and poured himself a large glass. He downed it in a matter of seconds then poured himself a second glass. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice was telling him to stop, but he couldn't. His body had decided that it needed to be poisoned to feel better.

After the third, he pushed the glass off into the sink and shuffled into the living room. He fell onto the couch and began to flip through the tv channels. He stopped at Weazel News to see what the latest reports were. Not that he cared.

" _It seems that rumors of Rat Man have resurfaced yet again."_  Niko scoffed at this and took a swig. " _Reports have come in of an upright creature skulking about in the subway tunnels. Police, however, believe it is one of the many homeless living in Liberty City, but eyewitnesses beg to differ."_

" _It was big! Bigger than anything I've seen before. It watched me for several minutes before taking off back into the shadows,"_  a young blonde woman said.

" _Dude, I like saw it and everything, man. It like totally walked up to me and like I was high, okay, but I know what I saw, cuz I was all like: Woah man and it was all like: Dude. It like totally killed my buzz. Especially when it had like blood on it and stuff,"_ a blood-shot eyed white man in dreadlocks said.

" _Although more citizens are reporting sights of him, in the tunnels, police still refuse to investigate the matter and have asked people to stop calling in the creature. In other news-"_

Niko shut off the TV and couldn't help but laugh at the bullshit he had just heard. A Rat Man in the sewers? He guessed Americans really were this stupid. They would believe anything they were told.

He finished off the bottle an hour later. By then he was drunk and numb, just as he wanted to be. The anger and bitterness that had welled up inside of him and ensnared his heart were kept away with the vodka. It was better to stay numb than to dwell on the shit that was both in and out of his control. Like Kate.

It was better to stay drunk than to hurt.

The sun had disappeared over the city hours later and by then Niko had sobered up enough to go back out. He stayed in the North Holland area that night and stopped a man from breaking into a vehicle, two muggings, and a house break in.

He stuck to the shadows, lurking, watching, and waiting for the next criminal to come along. It was close to midnight when he felt like giving up and moving on. It wasn't until he spotted a woman being followed by a black Futo with a busted out headlight. The driver, a man, hung his head out of the driver side window calling after her to get in the car. The woman told him multiple times to leave him alone, but he wasn't listening.

"Come on, you bitch, just get in the car," he said.

"I never want to see you again you grease ball fuck!"

Niko stayed the shadows with a ball bat in hand as the man slammed on the breaks and got out of the car. The woman's face showed fear as the man quickly made his way towards her. He snatched her by her wrist and began to pull her towards the car. She kicked and screamed as he tried to cup her mouth. It reminded Niko of the night those men tried to rape Lily.

Anger rose within Niko as he stepped out the shadows. He swiftly approached the couple, bat raised high in the air. The woman's eyes widen in fear as Niko's bat collided with the man's skull. The man dropped to the ground before he knew someone was behind him.

"Oh my god! You killed him!" the woman shrieked.

Niko shot her a menacing glare. "No, I saved your fucking life. Now get out of here!" he snapped.

She did not need to be told twice. She spun on her heels and ran from the scene. Once she was out of sight, he turned back to the man. This slimeball who thought it was okay to hit women was going to get his punishment. Niko grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him behind the Pay n' Spray to continue his assault.

Grabbing the man by his hair, Niko slammed the guy's head into the side of a brick wall repeatedly. Deep down inside of him, the rational side cried out for it to stop, but he couldn't. He knew he had killed the man and dropped him. All the anger within him was gone and in its place was emptiness.

He left the scene as quickly as he could and went to the Colony Island Cemetery.

* * *

The cemetery was quiet and almost peaceful. Niko laid a single rose on her grave as he always did while silently apologizing to her.

_I failed her. I was meant to protect her and I failed. I was meant to look after Roman and I failed him too. Everyone I get close to is hurt in some way. Roman tells me to stay close to him and Mallorie, but I can't risk their safety._

He closed his eyes as a cool breeze blew through the cemetery. For months after her death he kept waking up hoping it was only a nightmare, but once reality set in, it all came crashing down on him once more. He hated that he hurt this much. He wished someone would come along and put him out of his misery. The world would be better off. Let him burn in hell like he deserved.

"There you are!"

Niko flinched at the feminine voice that called out to him.

Lily. She was the last person he wanted to see right now. He wished she would go away so he could drown in his misery alone. He turned around to face her as she quickly approached him.

"Why didn't you come into work today? You didn't answer your phone either," she said.

Who did she think she was? What gave you her the right to know where he was and what he was doing? He felt anger and annoyance surge through him.

"I wanted to be left alone," he replied.

She crossed her arms. "Well, you could have at least called someone to let them know you were okay. Roman and Mallorie tried calling you all day."

"Why can't any of you take the hint that I want to be left alone? I turn off phone for a reason!"

Her arms fell to her side. "Come on, don't be like this. Whatever it is bothering you, you can tell me."

He gave a bitter laugh. "And why would I need to tell you anything?" He saw the hurt expression on her face and immediately regretted what he had said, but he couldn't stop himself. "I don't have to talk to you about shit. There is nothing between us, do you understand?"

She bit her bottom lip as it trembled and she turned away from him. She was only trying to help and it made him hate himself all the more. She wasn't something he deserved.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

She shook her head, turned to face him again, and replied in a trembling voice. "I was worried you were hurt and I looked everywhere for you. We all did! I'm sorry I cared!" She turned away from him and walked back to her car. He called after, but she didn't stop to turn around. Niko could only stand there and watch as her car turned the corner and leave his sight.

The guilt and shame washed over him. Never once did she say anything negative about him. She was always kind to him and cared for his well being. Cared was the word that stuck with him the most. She cared and he wasn't worth it.

Somehow he was going to make it up to her. He owed her that much.


	12. The Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided that the AO3 version of Shadows will be the "uncensored version" since FF.net likes to hide their mature content. Which can be frustrating if your not a well-known author. ugh! Anyways I'm a bit nervous about this chapter. I feel as if I'm rushing the romance, but I don't see this having more than 30 chapters, but we'll see as time goes on.

Criticism. It was something one was supposed to take with an open mind. It was supposed to help one improve but for Lily, it seemed everyone had an opinion or criticism on her life. It felt as if it had been that way since she was a child. Her grades, her clothes, her friends(or lack thereof), and her choice of lovers. Nothing was good enough it felt. From an early age, she tried to please everyone. She studied to make better grades to please her dad, ate smaller portions to please her step-mom, and never said no to be a better friend and daughter. She thought things with her family were improving until her ex, Thomas, wandered into her life at eighteen. They often brought him up on occasion, taunting her about her poor choice in a boyfriend.

Which is why she sometimes dreaded visiting her family.

Still, even with their constant hen-pecking, she made the two-hour drive from the city to Madison as often as possible. The paved roads eventually turned to dirt and gravel and her surroundings changed from buildings to trees and grassy hills. The radio stations changed as well. Radio Broker faded and she picked up a modern pop station she used to listen to in high school.  _Rude Boy_  blasted through her speakers as she continued toward her destination.

As she approached the roadside diner that she used to go to, she thought about stopping by to say hello to Amber, but her former friend probably wouldn't want to see her. At one point that would have devastated her, but now looking back, she felt nothing. Lily passed the diner, deciding it was best to avoid her.

She pulled into the driveway of her parent's house and stepped out of the car. Looking around, she noticed that they made some changes to the property. The first thing that stuck out was the fresh coat of white paint on the house. The wisterias that lined the fence had been trimmed back, the honeysuckle bush was gone, and the junker cars that were in the backyard were scrapped.

She hated the changes.

She slammed the door and with her overnight in hand, walked around the side of the house where she found Annette hunched over her garden with headphones in. Lily bent down and tapped her stepmother on the shoulder. Annette stopped and looked over her shoulder to see who was behind her. At the sight of Lily, she rose to her feet and threw her arms around Lily's neck.

"Where have you been?" Annette asked as she pulled down her headphones.

"Working," Lily replied. It was true, too. She asked for more hours lately because the bills were higher that month. Roman agreed though he didn't like the idea of overworking her.

"Too busy to visit your family? Well, it's fine I suppose. Are you hungry? I can make us some grilled panini sandwiches with tomato soup."

"It does sound good."

Lily followed Annette into the house and set her bags on the sofa. Annette quickly moved around the kitchen gathering the items needed for the sandwiches. She plugged in the panini press while Lily grabbed the ingredients from the fridge.

"How's the taxi cab business?" Annette asked.

Lily didn't want to talk about it. Thinking of work made her think of Niko and he was the last person she wanted on her mind. She stifled a weary sigh and replied with a generic answer. "Oh, it's okay."

"I worry about you working in such a harsh environment. Working as a cab driver is dangerous in Liberty City."

 _Here we go again,_  Lily thought.

"You know, I once read an article in the newspaper that talked about the dangers of being a cab driver. Please tell me you have a gun?"

Lily shook her head. "No, mom, I don't like guns. Besides, they're banned in city limits… sort of."

Annette gave Lily a head of lettuce to chop. She placed it in the sink to rinse it off as Annette cut the tomatoes.

"We worry about you, Lily," Annette said.

"I know, but I'm fine,"

"Somehow, I have trouble believing that. You look so tired and unhappy."

Lily was regretting this visit already.

After lunch, she ventured upstairs to her old bedroom. Even though she had not lived in it for two years, it was left untouched. Posters of 90s boy bands and pop stars were taped to the pale pink walls, pictures of her horse, The Trail Blazer, taped to her dresser mirror, and a Sioux tribal flag hung on the door. She felt slightly embarrassed at the outdated look of her room. She made a mental note to take down the old posters before she went home.

Her old white, iron framed bed chimed as she flopped onto it. It felt odd to be back home, but it was also a relief. After the way Niko had talked to her, she needed to get away for the weekend. She cared deeply for him and when he told her there was nothing between them it cut through her heart. She knew they were only friends, but she was certain that he liked her as more than just a friend. She wondered if it were okay to admit to herself that she loved him? She had to be in love if his words hurt that much. Men had rejected her before, but it was never this painful.

She rolled to her side and plugged her phone into its charger. She sent Janie a text letting her know that she made it to the house okay. She noticed a missed call from Mallorie and decided to call her back tomorrow. Probably wanted to ask about Niko. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about it with Mallorie.

Besides, she wanted to pay a visit to an old friend. An hour later she was making her way towards her brother's pasture where a bright red barn stood on his property. She smiled, knowing her friend was in there. Once she made it to the barn, she opened the doors where The Trailblazer was waiting on her.

Lily approached the vibrant red mare and ran her fingers through her black mane.

"Hey girl, how ya been?" Lily whispered as she rubbed Blaze's soft nose, "I'm sorry I've been away, but I'll make up for that now."

It wasn't long before Blaze was saddled and ready to go. She placed one foot in a stirrup to haul herself onto the mare. As she was ready to spur her horse, a familiar voice called out to her, making her almost jump out of the saddle.

"You could have called me ahead of time if you wanted to ride her."

Lily twisted her body to find Trigg standing by the barn, holding a shotgun.

"I didn't think about it," Lily admitted.

Trigg rolled his eyes and muttered that she was careless.

Lily placed one balled fist on her hip while still holding the reins with the other. "A gun? Don't you think you're being overly dramatic?" Lily said.

"Hey, you can never be too careful. Danger lurks around every corner!" Trigg replied.

"Oh please, you sound like those people in the city. Always paranoid."

Trigg huffed and turned away. "Just be careful, okay?" he called over his shoulder.

She spurred the mare onward without telling Trigg goodbye. As much as she loved her big brother, she found him to be annoying at times. All her life he bossed her around. Not even her own father was this bossy. It made her miss Jace all the more. He was more laid back and let her do whatever she wanted, but now he was living on the reservation again with his wife and children. Her nieces and nephews barely knew her at all.

Once she made it to the top of a hill, she looked over the valley, thinking about the idea of going back to South Yankton. Lily had visited the area in the past, but she wasn't a fan of the harsh winters that both of the Yankton states provided. Liberty had bad winters as well, but at least it wasn't twenty-five inches of snow! Still, it was expected of her to return and take a Native man and provide their tribe with children.

_I think I'd rather live a life of a spinster than living where the blizzards roam._

But when she thought about relationships and men, her mind went back to Niko. That brooding Serb had made his way into her heart and she hated that. Wouldn't that go over well with her family? Bringing home a man with a criminal record who didn't have an actual trade. Nevermind that he wasn't Native. Well, at least he wasn't a hitman.

_Stop thinking about him! Think about the lovely scenery before you. Think about how good it feels to be back in the country and how much you love the wind in your hair as you ride Blaze. Think about anything, but him._

But thoughts of him wouldn't go away and she wondered what he was doing.

* * *

"Well, cousin, I think you fucked up," Roman said bluntly over a glass of vodka.

After his fight with Lily, Niko didn't speak to her much during the rest of the work week. Whenever he entered the room, she quickly left. If he looked her way, she averted her gaze from him. The hurt he caused was proof that he wasn't worthy of her.

Now here he was at Roman's house, drinking his troubles away or at least trying to. Mallorie had asked them to watch how much they drank. She said it wouldn't be good for the baby to see. He found the idea to be ridiculous. Mijo was only four and half months old and wouldn't remember his father having a drink. Then again, he probably didn't understand because he wasn't a parent, much to his relief.

Niko finished off his third drink and said, "You think I don't know that?"

"You should call her and tell her you're sorry," his cousin suggested.

"If she's mad at me, I don't think she wants to hear from me."

"That shows how little you know about women," Mallorie said as she stepped outside. "She might be angry, but she still wants to hear from you. I think she likes you, Niko. As in, a lot."

He couldn't imagine why she would. "So I've been told, but I don't see it."

Mallorie giggled. "Haven't you noticed that every time you come around she blushes? Or the look in her eyes when she talks to you? She speaks highly of you, you know."

Niko's eyes widened. "Wait… what? Mallorie, I think you're reading into this a little too much."

"She told me herself."

"Yes, I remember, but, again, I don't see it."  _Yes, you do._

Mallorie rolled her eyes and muttered something in Spanish. "That's because you don't want to see it."

"I agree with her," Roman said. "You need to look around at what's in front of you before it's too late, cousin."

"Niko, I'm really sorry about what happened last year, but you dwell on the dead when someone alive is right in front of you. Don't shut her out. Make your move soon, because people don't like to wait around forever."

Niko leaned back against his chair. Mallorie was right, but it still hurt when he thought of Kate. Guilt set in every time he laid awake at night thinking about Lily's touch as if he was betraying Kate in some way. At the same time, whenever he spent time with Lily, it didn't hurt as much and the loneliness was kept at bay. Maybe, over time she could heal his wounded heart.

He was going to make this right with Lily. He had to.

"I should go. I have to do some... thinking," Niko said as he stood up from his chair. "I'll come back another time."

"You better," Mallorie teased, "Or I'll go looking for you myself."

Once he was home he tried calling Lily, but she didn't pick up the phone. He tried to text her, but it was too confusing so he quit in frustration. Disappointment set in, but he couldn't give up. Not on her.

Even though he had only known Lily for almost three months, he deeply cared for her. He couldn't understand it. After all, Kate was dead for barely a year. It wasn't right to feel this way so soon. He thought about how Kate would feel. She wouldn't be jealous or hurt. She wasn't like that. Kate would have wanted him to be happy, this he knew, but it didn't make moving on any easier or lessen the sting of guilt.

He paced his apartment, occasionally stepping out onto the balcony that overlooked the city. He remembered they were supposed to go out today and see the countryside, but he fucked it up between them. He was always fucking things up for other people. If it wasn't for him Roman would never have been kidnapped, shot, or had his business burn down.

" _Yes and now I have an even better apartment and my business is doing better than before!"_  Roman had told him. To Niko, it didn't make it better.

A cry coming from the alley pulled him from his thoughts. He looked down to find something curled up and shivering by the trashcans. He took the fire escape to reach the creature faster. At closer inspection, he saw it was a tiny orange kitten that barely had its teeth. He held it up by the neck and looked it over. It seemed to be healthy for a stray.

He liked animals, but he didn't feel like taking care of one at the moment. He knew someone who did, though.

Taking the kitten inside, he hoped the ball of fluff would be enough for Lily to forgive him.

* * *

Hotah found his daughter, not far from the property, moping on the old tire swing she once played on as a child. She was looking down at her dusty work boots and fiddled with her hands. For most of her stay, she acted so gloomily. Maybe it was time she came back to live him. All of that pollution had to be bad for her health.

"Lillian, are you alright?" Hotah asked.

She looked up at him and forced a smile. "I'm okay, Dad."

"Don't lie to me,  _chunkshi_."

Lily sighed. "I'm sorry, I have a lot on my mind right now."

He helped her out of the tire swing and asked her to walk with him through the fields.

"Tell me what's wrong," he said as came to a fence that marked the end of their property.

Her gaze drifted to the sky and noticed the black clouds rolling in.

She wanted to tell her father about Niko but wasn't sure if it were appropriate to do so. It was a conversation best had with Yasmin or Annette. Oh well, what did she have to lose?

"I think I'm in love or at least I really like him. I don't know, I'm confused," she confessed.

He ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair. "He's a white man, isn't he?" He said, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.

"Yes," she replied.

"I figured this would happen, but I had to come to terms with it eventually. I learned long ago that making a big deal out of something like that only drives a wedge between you and the ones you love."

There was a sadness to his eyes now and Lily knew he was talking about his sister and Janie's mother, Wachiwi. Her husband, Lawrence was a good man, but no one saw it at the time. When Janie was twenty-two her parents were killed during a mugging. It was only after she when was gone did Hotah realize how much of a fool he had been. He tried to have a relationship with his niece, but by then it was too late. Lily wished she could turn back the clock so her father could mend the brother and sister's bond.

Hearing her father express his acceptance of her potential relationship with Niko set her mind at ease.

"What do I do?" she asked, "I'm afraid to tell him how I feel."

"If you truly care for him, then you must be honest with him. I almost lost your mother once because I couldn't tell her how I felt. When I heard another boy talk about how much he liked her, I knew I had to act then and there. I had her for thirty years…"

"And then I came along," Lily whispered.

"You didn't do anything wrong,  _chunkshi_ , do you understand? We didn't know about her heart until it was too late. Don't you ever blame yourself."

Lily swallowed down the painful knot of emotion in her throat. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of her father. She took a slow breath and counted to ten in her head to calm herself.

"I know, Dad."

"Who is the lucky guy, if I may ask?"

"His name is Niko," she replied.

He raised a brow. "What kind of a name is that?"

"He's from Eastern Europe, Dad."

Thunder rumbled in distance. By now the clouds had passed the treeline. If Lily were to leave, she would have to soon.

"I hate to do this but I need to leave. That storm looks like it'll be nasty and I want to beat it."

"Are you sure? You can wait it out."

She shook her head. "I don't want to risk driving in the dark. At least if it rains now I can still see."

Hotah chuckled. "I think I know why you really want to get back. If it's that important, then go on. We're not going anywhere."

She tried to fight back the heat creeping up her face. "I'll visit again soon, I promise."

They quickly made it back to the house. By then the clouds were looming over the farm. Lily dashed up the stairs with Annette at her heels.

"Are you leaving?" Her stepmom asked.

Lily grabbed her belongings and turned to face Annette. "I'm sorry, Mom, but I have to go. I have work in the morning and there's a storm on its way." She briefly hugged Annette and continued passed her, leaving Annette to stand there in confusion.

Lily tossed her overnight bag in the backseat, gave her family a final wave goodbye, and drove home.

By the time she reached the city, the emergency broadcast system buzzed over the radio warning of severe thunderstorms and flooding. She pressed on however at a safe speed before finally making it home.

There parked across from her house was a red and white sabre.

Niko was waiting on her and had been for some time. Heart hammering wildly in her chest, it took over her mind. Lily's body moved on its own as he stepped out of the car with a shoebox under his arm.

Niko didn't move as she walked down her driveway. When she made it to the curb, a car speeding through the water sent a mini tidal wave her way and drenched her. She was frozen in place, too embarrassed to move. Niko yelled after the car, but they ignored him and kept driving.

" _Sisadzijo!_ " Niko shouted.

He adjusted the box under his arm and made his way to her. Her hair curtained half of her face.

"Are you alright? I can go after him if-" he stopped when he felt her body begin to shake. "Come on, let's get you inside before you get sick." He took her by the hand and led her to the door where the porch provided shelter from the rain.

Before he could open the door for her, she stopped him. "You're a jerk," she choked out.

"I know," he replied. "I'm sorry for what I said to you. It was uncalled for."

"I care about you! I don't know why I do, but I can't help it," she said.

The tears were streaming down her face and it hurt to see her that way. The barrier around his heart was beginning to crack. It frightened him, but it had to happen.

"Feelings are complicated," he said. "I'm not supposed to move on this fast. I didn't want to, but then you came along and I don't know."

Before he could react, she threw her arms around him and pressed her lips to his. Caught off guard by this sudden display of affection, he fell against the door and almost dropped the box. With his free arm, he wrapped it around her waist and kissed her passionately. Her kiss was reigniting his heart and tearing down that barrier. He wanted it to last forever, but mewing and scratching from inside the box made her break the kiss.

"Niko... what's in the box?" Lily asked.

"It's my way of telling you sorry."

Her eyes that once held tears only moments ago, brightened. "Is that a-"

"Let's get you both out of the rain," he said as he gently took her hand into his.

As Niko followed her inside, up to her bedroom, his mind went back to Kate. He felt a pang in his heart for the woman he lost, but when Lily looked at him and smiled, he knew that she was the one who could guide him through that dark tunnel of grief and heartbreak. He was thankful for her and would anything to keep her safe.

They made it the top of the stairs where he stopped and kissed her again. She laughed when they pulled away and buried her face in his jacket. He loved her laugh and loved how soft she was. Maybe, just maybe, he loved her too.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lakota words:
> 
> Chunkshi = daughter
> 
> Ate = Father
> 
> Serbian:
> 
> Sisadzijo = Cocksucker


	13. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of nervous about this chapter. It's sort of my first time writing a certain scene. ^_^''

Lily flipped on the light to her bedroom. Niko looked around and found her room to be somewhat boring, but he figured that it wasn't her fault. She had a poster of that Japanese cartoon character that was half naked on the outside of her bathroom door. The walls were a plain white, assorted with family photos and sketches that he assumed Lily had drawn. Her full-size bed was in the middle of the room, with the headboard below a window. Her wardrobe closet stood in the corner and her computer desk was placed next to it.

He sat on her neatly made bed and freed the kitten from its confinement. The orange puff ball leaped out onto the bed and look around its new surroundings. Lily scooped the kitten into her arms and inspected it.

"Hmmm, looks to be about five or six weeks old, seems healthy, although it'll need a check up from the vet," she paused to lift its tail. "Oh, and it's a boy. So, what's his name?" She set the kitten on the bed.

He bounded over towards Niko and began attacking his arm. Niko tried to move his arm away from the furry little bastard, but he wasn't about to give up.

"I don't know," Niko replied. "I was going to let-" the kitten's tiny needle fangs sank into Niko's hand. "ow! Hey, knock that shit off," he warned the feline. "I thought you would want to name it. If I had the choice, I'd call him fuzzy asshole."

She giggled as Niko was forced to hide his hands in his jacket.

"I think Hazel would be better suited for him. Certainly nicer than 'fuzzy asshole'."

Her wet clothes were beginning to feel thick and heavy, clinging to her like leeches. Not to mention the AC was making her shiver. She opened her dresser and chose a loose, baggy Love Fist t-shirt and a pair of shorts. In the reflection of her mirror, she noticed Hazel had given up on tormenting Niko and jumped off the bed to go exploring. The moment Hazel entered the bathroom, Niko shut the door behind him.

He turned his attention back to Lily and never took his eyes off of her. She hesitated, not knowing if it was okay to undress in front of him. He was her boyfriend now and they were both adults, but then again, they had only been together less than an hour. Slowly, she unpeeled her wet shirt from her body while her heart beat wildly. Tossing the wet shirt aside, she noticed he still watched with a facial expression that she could not read. For weeks she thought about what it would be like if his rough hands were to gently caress her breasts and often wondered what kind of lover he would be. Was he rough or gentle? Did he take his time or only care about his own pleasure? Did he have chest hair? Why did she wonder about the last part? She found herself annoyed that her only sexual experience was one man who never gave a shit about whether or not she was enjoying it. What if Niko thought she was a lousy lover?

Next, she removed her jeans. It wasn't easy, but once she was freed, she didn't feel suffocated by them anymore. She was in nothing but her bra and panties now, the last items of clothing to be removed. She turned to face him and slowly made her way to the bed. She knew that this would be the point of no return.

As she stood before him, he saw the lust in her eyes. Normally, he waited for the woman to say it was okay for him to touch, as to not offend her, but this time, he didn't need to be told. His hand moved up her back where he found the hooks. One by one he loosened them, freeing her breasts from their bindings. Her bra slid off her shoulders and tumbled to the floor. Next, he slid her panties down and she kicked them away. She placed his hands on her breasts, making his heart take off in his chest. She leaned in and kissed him passionately. With an arm hooked around her waist, he pulled her in closer, pressing her nude body against his leather jacket.

She broke away, "It's been four years since… since…"

"I understand," he replied, then added. "But are you sure you want this?"

Lily replied with a nod. Gently, he lied her on her bed before removing his jacket and shirt, revealing scars and some chest hair. His upper body loomed over her and his fingers lightly trailed down from her chest to stomach. Her eyes slid closed and she bit her lip as he found the more intimate places of her body. She stroked his scarred shoulders as he brought her pleasure she had only given herself. Her grip tightened on his shoulders when she felt herself drawing near.

A moan escaped her lips, making Niko grow harder than he thought was possible. Her hips rose and pressed closer to his hand. She was almost there. He starting to ache for her, making him want her then and there. He felt he would go mad if he didn't. 

"You're close," he whispered.

"Yes," she breathed. With that, he withdrew his hand. Her eyes flew open. "Why did you stop?" she groaned.

Niko smirked. "Because" he began to loosen his belt. "Now it's my turn and do not worry, I'll be careful with you."

She traced his jawline, feeling the stubble that was trying to return. "I know, Niko. I trust you," she said. 

Her heart opened to him as her legs parted. Gently, he eased into her, doing his best to not hurt her. She closed her eyes once more, as she took in all of him. She was tighter than he expected her to be and he was bigger than she thought he would be. There was some pain as he pushed deeper, but she knew it wouldn't last long. She cupped his face and drew him in for a hungry kiss. His thrusts were slow, but once the pain faded, she wrapped her legs around his waist and began to move her hips with him. Together they discovered a rhythm that worked best for them. He took her higher and higher as her body began to quiver with pleasure. Just when she found herself on the edge, she arched and cried out his name as her nails raked down his back. Once it was over and her body had calmed, he found himself not too far behind her. He finished moments later and lowered himself onto her.

He was breathing heavily against her slender throat as she stroked his nape. She kissed his foreheaded and murmured that she loved him. He didn't hear it, but he didn't need to. Deep down, he already knew. Finally, he withdrew and rolled off of her. Draping a heavy arm around her, he pulled her closer to him. They laid there in silence, neither one could find the right words to say. The only sounds in the room were their hearts pounding wildly. 

Never had Niko lusted after a woman like her before. Yes, there were women he found attractive and yes, he wished he could bed them, but there was something about Lily that made him ache in more ways than one. He always imagined he'd take his time with her their first time, but hearing her moans while he pleasured her made it hard to be patient. He felt a little bad about it and hoped it was good for her. It sounded like it was at least.  

After a long moment, Niko spoke. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" 

She smiled in the dark and kissed his cheek. "No, you were gentle. Just as I imagined." 

He gave a chuckle. "Oh, so you imagined this?" 

"More than I care to admit," she replied before giggling. "Can we do that again?" 

"I'm willing, but my body needs to rest." 

Her hand drifted down and she gently stroked him. "I can wait," she purred. 

His body responded to her touch immediately. "I don't think I can, but I want to take it slower this time."

He kissed her neck, drifting down to her breasts. She let out a moan when his tongue began to tease her nipple and his hand caressed the other. Maybe she couldn't wait as long she thought. When she was in high school, she used to read the sex scenes in dime store romance novels wondering if that was how it was supposed to be. With her ex, she was disappointed, but with Niko, it was better than anything she had read.

"I can't wait anymore," she whispered. "I need you now." 

He looked up at her and chuckled. "How could I ever deny you?" 

* * *

 

Lightning flashed and scattered across the sky, temporarily illuminating Lily's room, the boom that followed was loud and shook the entire house. The storm had worsened during the night. At one point, it had awoken Niko, leaving him in a confused, half-awake daze. He looked around the room, breathing heavily, but she managed to soothe him back to sleep. However, now she found it difficult for herself to drift back off.

Once in the night, she got up to check on Hazel. She made him a temporary bed with an old sweater and placed newspaper on the floor before giving him some water. She would have to feed him in the morning.

She crawled between the covers and pressed herself close to Niko, drawing in his warmth.

The events from earlier replayed in her mind, making her smile in the dark. Turns out, he was bigger than she imagined. Maybe a bit too big, because although he took it easy with her, there was still some pain. Occasionally, the dulled pain would throb down there as she laid beside him, but it wasn't something that really bothered her. In fact, she kind of liked it, in a strange way.

At one point in the night, she heard Janie come home and wondered what time it was. Probably after eleven. Janie's footsteps stopped at the door and gently, she pushed it open.

"Lily, are you still awake?" Janie whispered, but Lily did not answer nor did she move.

She flipped on the light, realized her cousin had a guest and quickly turned it off again before slowly backing out of the room. Lily giggled quietly and rested her head on Niko's shoulder.

Although the man who lied beside her fought an inner battle with his demons, she hoped that she would be enough to keep them at bay, if only for a little while.

They both awoke early the next morning around five. Normally, Niko woke up much earlier since his apartments were both in Algonquin, but Lily didn't live far from the depot so this time he had a chance to sleep in.

He didn't bring any overnight clothes. He had to wear the ones from the previous night. Lily dressed in her baggy Love Fist shirt she had planned to wear last night and a pair of teal capris and her black flats. She brushed out her messy hair and worked it into a braid.

On her nightstand, Niko found that strange beaded necklace that had a wooden medallion. This time he was close enough to see that the carving was a bird, possibly a dove. He ran a thumb across it, feeling the grooves and grain of the wood.

"It's my totem," Lily said.

"Totem?" He repeated.

"Yeah, most of us have a totem animal or spirit animal as it's more commonly called. Mine is the dove. It represents fertility, love, compassion, creativity, and spiritual freedom. I don't exactly believe in spirits or anything, but it's a neat idea."

She finished buttoning her jeans as Niko slid his shirt back on.

"What are your beliefs?" he asked.

She hesitated for a moment before answering: "I'm an atheist. It's almost as controversial as being a Christian in my community, but I just can't bring myself to believe any of that stuff."

"Strange," he said. "You don't act like an atheist."

She laughed at this. "Well, how is an atheist supposed to act?"

"I don't know, bitter and angry I suppose? Most of the ones I know are."

She laughed again, crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "We come in all shapes and sizes. Personalities, too. What about you, what are your beliefs?"

"I was raised Orthodox, most of us from my home country are, and I believed it for a while, but after the war and other events in my life, my faith wavered. Now I don't really believe in anything anymore. If there is an afterlife, then I don't think I'll be seeing my loved ones in the place I'm going."

Stepping forward, she took his hand into hers. "Even if there was a hell, you don't belong there."

"Lily, you don't know half the things I've done. If you did, then you wouldn't be here now."

She looked into his auburn eyes. They reflected all that pain and suffering life had thrown at him, but somewhere behind the hurt, she saw the warmth and softness, too. She saw in him, what he couldn't see in himself. Her heart fluttered with all the love she felt for him. She wouldn't tell him how she felt, not yet. Not for a long time, but until then, she would show him.

Tracing the outline of his jaw, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

"I don't care what you did in your past," she said after pulling away. "All I care about is the here and now and right now, I'm looking at a kind and honest man."

 _But I haven't been honest with you!_  He thought. He pulled her in and brush her bangs away from her face.  _I'm not worthy of her, but I'll do my best to make her happy._  "I want you to know something, I'll never hurt you or let anyone else bring you harm. I promise I'll take care of you."

"You can't promise you'll never hurt me. We're human and eventually, we'll make mistakes, but I can promise you that I'll always be here if you need me and I'll stand by you. Now come on, we're gonna be late for work."

They found Janie at the kitchen table sipping on coffee. When she saw Lily and Niko together, her mouth fell open, but she couldn't find the right words to say.

"Good morning," Lily said as she opened a can of tuna and poured the contents into a small bowl.

Janie swallowed a mouthful of hot coffee. "G-good morning to the both of you. I take it you slept well?"

Lily grinned. "Oh yes, very much so. By the way, we have a cat now," and with that, she dashed up the stairs.

The moment the couple left the house, Janie called Bridgette to tell her what she had witnessed within her household. She could tolerate her cousin befriending a criminal that was much older than she was. She could tolerate Lily having a crush on him, but now it seemed that things between the two had become serious. Janie debated whether or not to call her uncle and inform him of who his daughter was spending time with. After much thought, she decided against it. Lily was going to have find out the hard way and besides, her cousin may have her head in the clouds, but she wasn't a complete idiot. After all, she learned her lesson the last time she got close to someone. Thankfully, Lily was on the pill now.

Wait… did she just say they have a cat?!

Niko and Lily made it to the office thirty minutes later. They tried to act naturally as they walked up to the depot, but Roman and Mallorie weren't fools and could see right away that something happened between the two. Roman and Mallorie looked at each other and grinned.

Roman saw something in Niko's eyes that he hadn't seen in years. Not since Josef died. For the first time, Roman saw a glimmer of happiness in Niko. Maybe there was hope for his cousin after all.

Lily greeted her co-workers cheerfully and bounded inside the office. Niko told her to be careful because the roads were almost flooded from the previous night's rainfall.

His eyes followed her as got into a cab and drove away. He couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was or what happened between them the night before. He could still feel her nails raking down his scarred back and the way she cried out his name. He couldn't wait for the day to end so he could have her all to himself at his own apartment.

He felt someone jab his ribs and turned to find Roman giving him a sly grin.

"Someone got laid, didn't he, cousin?"

"Fuck. You." Niko replied, annoyed.

Roman laughed. "I know who you're thinking about fucking!" Roman continued laughing, making Niko grow more agitated.

" _You_  are an asshole," Niko grumbled.

Roman's laughter died down. "All joking aside, I'm happy for you and I hope she's the one for you. You've been unhappy for so long, that I worry you would never get out of that dark tunnel."

"I'm still in that dark tunnel, but at least now I can see a light at the end."

* * *

 

April crawled along and soon it was replaced with May. The buds on the trees blossomed, flowers bloomed, and the warm air erased all reminders of a harsh winter. It was Lily's favorite time of the year even if it made her allergies go haywire. The splashes of color the flowers left in Middle Park made up for it, though. Her favorite was the pink dogwood trees whose tiny pink petals scattered all over the ground.

More people were walking the streets again, much to Niko's irritation, but he tried to make the most of it, especially with Lily around. It was funny how whenever she was around, things didn't bother him as much as they used to. People seemed less noisy, commercials were easier to tune out, and traffic wasn't so bad because he got to have her with him a little longer.

Their age gap no longer bothered him as it used to. Lily's youth gave him back a small portion of the innocence he had lost all those years ago. In return, Niko gave Lily the maturity that she needed to help her see what she wanted for her future. Before, everything felt bleak. She was unsure of where her life was going, but with Niko, she saw a possible future with him. Of course, they had long ways to go with his past still haunting him, but at least she knew that one day, he could use it as a way to learn from his mistakes. There was also her anxiety that reared its ugly head up from time to time. She was grateful for Niko's patience with her and the praises to lift her confidences when she felt it running on empty.

On a hot spring day, Lily convinced Niko to go to Middle Park with her. It was a strange request, but he agreed. Most of the time the women he took out didn't want to do much except dinner and a movie, but Lily would often like to do simple things, such as a stroll through the park.

They sat on a bench and watched the ducks and their babies swim around. Sometimes Lily threw them cracked corn because the bread was bad for them. She watched as a mallard greedily ate his fill and chased off the other ducks. Lily put the bag of food away and decided that she would reopen the bag once this duck left. She wasn't a fan of ducks anyways. Once when she was a child a duck bit her finger.

Niko draped an arm around her and she snuggled closer. Some folks passing by would glance their way, some whispered comments. He supposed that from the outside, they did seem like an odd couple. Neither of them cared though, but sometimes, Niko glared at those who would stare too long or had something to say. It wasn't just strangers who liked to point out their age difference. When Brucie found out about Niko's relationship with Lily(thanks to Roman), he couldn't help but ask if Niko held Lily's hand on her way to school. Even Little Jacob of all people took jabs at Niko for having a younger girlfriend. He supposed it was to be expected, but it still didn't make it less annoying.

As Niko sat with Lily in silence, he could feel his mind trying to pull him back to a place he didn't want to be. He focused on the water and the waterfowl as they lazily drifted along. He was almost free from that dark thought when Lily had to bring up a topic he wasn't ready to talk about.

"Who's Kate?" she asked as she tossed more corn.

He frowned and looked down at his lap, all the pain and anger of feeling powerless surged through his heart. His chest tightened at the memory of Kate lying on those church steps with blood pooling underneath her. He closed his eyes and tried to push the memory away. Lily realized she touched a nerve with him and immediately felt guilty for bringing it up. She tried to do damage control on the situation.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," she whispered. "Forget I asked."

He opened his eyes and looked up at the sunlight peeking through the tree branches. The leaves above him were brightened by the sun's rays. He exhaled through his nose and fought back the hurt crawling up inside of him. He wasn't ready for this. Not for a while at least, but she had brought it up and now the subject at hand had to be dealt with.

"How did you find out about her?" he asked so quietly that she almost didn't hear him.

She looked down at her lap and fiddled with the paper bag that held the corn. "That night you were shot, you called out to someone named Kate before you passed out. I was curious as to who you were talking about."

Maybe it was better to talk about this sooner rather than later. "She was someone I deeply cared for and she died last year. I made a mistake and she paid the price for it. Every day I think about her and what might have been."

It was childish and selfish of Lily, but she felt jealousy ensnare her heart. Did he really care about her or would this dead woman always have his heart? The hurt in his eyes made her realized how stupid it was of her to feel that way. Her heart cried out for Niko. Not knowing what to say, she took his hand to comfort him. He gave it a loving squeeze and continued.

"I've lost so many people that I couldn't bring myself to care about another. I had lost all energy in doing so. I cut off contact with everyone because I knew that growing close to someone meant death," he said.

"Roman is still here," Lily pointed out.

His frown deepened. "Yes, but I've caused him more trouble than good. I am fortunate that he is such an optimist or else I think he would have disowned me by now. It would be better if he did. It would be better for a lot of people."

"Don't say that," Lily said. "My life is better now that you're in it. It sounds cheesy, but it's true."

A gentle breeze swept through the park, blowing up the tiny pink flowers that had fallen from the dogwood and tossing Lily's hair wildly. The way she looked reminded him of the first time he walked her back to her car. He remembered their conversation was about redemption and how he told her he didn't believe in it. He still didn't.

"Come on," he said as he stood up. He took her by the hand and helped her to her feet. "Let's go back to my place."

* * *

 

The only light in the bedroom came from the glowing green numbers on the alarm clock. Midnight had come around and all was silent in the North Holland apartment except maybe for the rustling of sheets.

He tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep, but sleep refused to come to him. He turned to face Lily, who hadn't stirred since she drifted off. The glow of the clock cast enough light for him to see the outline of her curves. A strong feeling came over him as he watched her chest slowly rise and fall. He wanted to say it was love, but he was afraid to admit that. The time wasn't right yet.

Over the last three weeks since their first night together, she improved quickly in the bedroom. Not that she was bad their first time, but it was obvious that she wasn't very experienced. She admitted to him one day that her ex never did the things Niko did to her. He was the kind of person who only cared for satisfying himself and then immediately ignored her shortly afterward.

 _What an asshole._  Niko thought. He would never understand what she saw in that guy. Then again, he would never understand what she saw in him!

Curled up at Lily's feet, was Hazel. The orange fleabag had grown over a course of a month. He was less annoying too. Lily had to bring him along when staying with Niko. Janie hated animals and wouldn't take care of the kitten for her cousin. Janie was someone that Niko was probably going to end up hating. No matter what Lily said about her.

The night wore on and Niko couldn't fall asleep. Finally, he threw the covers off of himself and quietly dressed. He kissed Lily on the temple, left a note, and grabbed his ball bat. It had been awhile since he went after muggers.

He stepped out onto the streets of Liberty City and looked up at his apartment window. Before, he never cared if he lived to see another night. Secretly he hoped that maybe it would kill him and end his suffering, but now that he had her, there was a new meaning to his life. It was nice to have someone he could go back to every night.

He gave her a silent promise that he would return to her safely before turning and walking down an alley where two suspicious shadows were lying in wait for prey. However, they proved to be no match for him and he continued on his way.


	14. Manhunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to sudden changes in my personal life, I don't know if I'll be uploading as often as I want to. It's stressed me out so much that I've lacked the inspiration to write, but I promise that I'll finish this fic along with my RDR one. Hopefully by the spring of 2018. There's a chance I may lose the internet so that may also impact how often I update, but I'll still be able to reply your messages(mobile data).
> 
> Even though I'm not going to be updating a lot, I'd like suggestions. I have an outline of what is going to happen and there will be a sudden shift in the tone of the story, by say, chapter 20, but we'll see. I even have the ending planned out, but it's the in-between bits that can hard to write. I'm thinking about writing more stranger encounters. So if you'd like to see Niko and Lily react to a stranger let me know in the comments or feel free to pm me. :)
> 
> Honestly, I feel like I'm just writing filler chapters that aren't moving the story forward so from now on, I think I'll write more of Niko's vigilantism and focus more on Dmir Brevic. lol tbh, it's hard writing Niko in an actual serious(ish) relationship without getting too mushy or sappy.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the long AN. On with the story.

**Broker**

Niko promised himself that he wouldn't steal anymore. He was done committing crimes, but taking that police cruiser was for the greater good or so he told himself. LCPD were sure as hell not doing their jobs or not doing enough to keep their citizens safe. The Night Terror is what the media started calling that manic and women were going missing off the streets, but the police hardly looked into it. They didn't seem care, stating in a news article that it was a big city and people die every day.

Truth was, he had not wanted to investigate it much either until Lily called him one night saying she felt as if she were being followed home from the store. He was too far away to get to her but stayed on the phone until she got home. He breathed a sigh of relief when she made it home safe.

Then a week later, Mallorie called to tell him that someone was lurking around her house, but she couldn't get Roman to answer the phone. He arrived with his gun and checked the property. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he found the shoe prints that didn't belong to him or Roman. He stayed with Mallorie and the baby until Roman came home around three in the morning. Mallorie let his poor cousin have it, but in Niko's opinion, Roman deserved it. Who left their wife and child alone at that hour? Niko wondered.

He took Mijo to his room so the poor kid wouldn't have to see his parents fighting. Once the baby was asleep, Niko laid him down in the crib and quietly left the house. It was only when he got home that he realized he held the baby. A strange happy feeling entered his heart. He couldn't figure out what it was, but it passed soon after and he brushed the feeling off as nothing.

So now Niko sat in a dark alley with the police cruiser he stole. There were at least ten criminals on the most wanted list. If that slimeball was out there killing innocent women, there was a chance he had been arrested before. Well, he was going to kill every single one of these fuckers just in case one of them was responsible. He couldn't rest knowing that Lily or Mallorie were walking the streets at night with this monster running loose. He swore he would protect Lily and that was exactly what he was trying to do.

He checked for his own name and was relieved to find that he wasn't on the most wanted list. Out of curiosity, he searched police records for people that he knew. He typed in Lily's name and found nothing. No surprise there. He typed in his own name and found only one charge against him: grand theft auto. Then he searched Janie's record. The computer scanned the data and finally came up with a Janice McPherson, age twenty-nine. She looked as if she had seen better days in her mugshot. One eye was blackened and swollen, her lipstick smeared, and her spaghetti strap top was torn. She had been arrested for domestic violence and marijuana possession. From the look of her and the stories Lily had told him, Janie probably fought back against her ex and they both went to jail.

Turning his attention back to the most wanted list, he pulled out a notepad and began writing down the names of the criminals on the list, along with their last location and their crimes. Antonio Rivette was first, wanted for racketeering, the last location was in South Slopes, Broker. Niko stepped out of the cruiser and threw a tarp over it for later. Brucie knew a guy who could remove the computer for future uses.

He looked both ways before jogging across the street where his Sabre waited on him. In the glove compartment was a suppressor attachment for his combat pistol. Once it was equipped, he started his car and drove to the South Slopes station. He parked in a dark location and dressed in a dark gray jacket with a hood. The pistol was tucked away safely, ready to use when he needed. He flipped his hood over his head and ascended up the stairs.

Rivette was waiting not so patiently for a train to arrive. He had friends with him who were just as heavy set as he was. Niko ducked behind a pillar and readied his pistol. He hadn't anticipated that Rivette would have people surrounding him, but at least there were few people at the station. If things went bad, then at least there would be fewer casualties.

_I promised myself no more killing, but if I must at least this will be justifiable._

Niko stepped out from his hiding place, took aim at Rivette's head, and pulled the trigger. The bullet ripped through the criminal's skull, killing him instantly. He fell forward onto the train tracks with a thud. His goons turned and spotted Niko. They opened fire, but with accuracy, Niko managed to kill him too. That was easier than he expected.

By now, the innocent bystanders had realized what was happening and began screaming, getting the attention of a nearby police officer. Niko turned and ran down the steps two at a time. He made it onto the streets and broke out into a full run. Bullets flew passed him and hit the asphalt and buildings. Niko turned the corner and ran across another street where he hid in an alley.

Once the coast was clear, he left his hiding place and walked back to the car. He flipped open the notepad and crossed out Rivette's name before moving on to his next target's location. By the end of the night, four people were crossed out, leaving six more to deal with, but they would have to wait.

If Niko killed too many of these men at once, the police would most likely start going after him. That police chief, Tony Rossi, continued to rant about Niko on the news and threatened to issue a warrant for his arrest if he didn't stop. The man was all talk. Probably corrupt as the late Francis McReary. Besides, who was going to find him?

After leaving the scene, he decided to check on Eric.

* * *

"Hey Niko," Eric said, not looking up from his phone, tapping as rapidly as Lily did.

Niko looked around the apartment, impressed that the kid had kept it clean as he promised.

"How have you been, kid?" Niko asked.

Eric shrugged. "I'm okay. I'm staying out of trouble and in school like you asked, but…" his voice trailed.

"But what?"

Worry flashed in the boy's eyes and Niko wondered if it was Eric's uncle.

"I've been seeing this Gray Stallion hanging around the neighborhood lately. I didn't think nothin' of it at first, but then I noticed that he tries to pick up girls."

Niko shrugged. "So what? A lot of men try to pick up women around here. It's nothing new."

The boy grew irritated. "You don't get it, Niko. I said  _girls_  not women. I mean sure, some of them are old enough to be adults, but he seemed to prey on the ones barely old enough to drive. Just a few nights ago, he was talking to this prostitute named Jenny. He kept trying to get her in the car, but she refused and he started yelling."

Niko leaned against the counter as Eric continued.

"She told him to leave her alone, but then he held her at knifepoint. Another guy got outta the car -it was the first time I saw him- and helped drag her in. I could hear her screams from the apartment. I didn't know what to do, man. I thought about calling the police, but I'm a runaway. Ya know what the scariest part is?"

"What's that?" Niko replied.

"One of them looked right at me! He looked up and saw me watching. I haven't seen Jenny since and now I'm scared they're gonna come for me."

"And you said this was a few nights ago? How old was this Jenny girl?"

"Yeah, it was Wednesday. I thought about calling you since you've playing superhero and shit, but I figured you were busy with that girl of yours," Eric said as he got up from the couch. He made his way into the kitchen and opened two packages of ramen. "As for Jenny, she's about eighteen or nineteen, but looks younger." He placed his ramen in the microwave and continued, "Are you gonna look into it?"

Niko gave a sigh and pushed himself off the counter. This could be the man taking women off the streets. The Night Terror typically went after young women with a family. Girls who he knew would be missed. It was almost as if this sick fuck enjoyed watching their loved ones cry and beg on camera for their child to come home. Never had Niko heard of him taking prostitutes, though.

"I'll see what I can find out," Niko said. Although, he wasn't sure what he was going to find if he could find anything at all.

As he made his way to the door, Eric stopped him.

"Niko, wait a sec, I forgot to tell you something else!"

Niko turned back to face the kid.

"Those guys that took Jenny, they had the same Russian accent as you."

Niko was about to correct Eric about his nationality, but decided against it and allowed the boy to continue.

"One guy started ordering the other one around in a different language."

"What did these men look like?" Niko asked.

"One was slightly taller than the other, both were on the lanky side. The tall one had blonde hair, the smaller one was dark-haired, but was buzzed down so far that I couldn't really tell. The taller one seemed to be in charge, cuz occasionally he'd hit the smaller one at random times. The small guy acted like he didn't want to do what the bigger one wanted. Anyways, they both wore dark clothing and it was the small one that looked up at me."

"Okay, that gives me something to go on. It's not much though, but do not worry, they won't come back for you. Still, keep the door locked and call the police if you have to."

Niko left the apartment minutes later and made his way to the corner that Eric claimed the girl used to work at. He came across a heavy set prostitute wearing clothes too small for her, smoking a cigarette. He saw fear flash across her eyes when she spotted him. She looked around before she quickly hid her fear.

"You looking for a good time, baby?" The woman asked.

Niko shook his head. "No, I'm actually looking for someone."

The prostitute rolled her eyes. "Go look somewhere else then," she said before turning away from him.

"Look, lady, I'll pay you for the information," Niko said.

The women scoffed and flicked her cigarette butt to the ground. "Fuck off, asshole, my pimp ain't gonna like you talking to me." With that, she turned and walked away.

He gave a frustrated sigh and walked up the road towards the Burger Shot. He stopped at the corner and looked both ways. Taking a left would take him to Broker and through the toll booth. Not ideal if you have someone held against their will. Taking a right would lead to North Holland and no toll booths. It would be a lot easier to go to the next island that way. Most likely that's where they took her.

He turned and walked back to the street his apartment was at. As he rounded the corner, he heard that preacher shouting to the sky about God and the end of the world. It was either him or that crazy asshole shouting about aliens and love. He hated them both because they used to keep him up at night. He put his loathing for that preacher aside and approached the man.

"Hey, you!" Niko said loud enough for him to hear.

The preacher stopped spewing bible verses and looked up to find Niko standing before him. Same as the prostitute, the preacher's eyes showed fear. He cleared his throat and shut his bible gently over one of his thumbs.

"I take it my words of the Lord have reached you, my friend?" The Preacher asked.

"No," Niko replied. "I need information."

"On... the lord?"

"No, on a woman named Jenny. She hangs out around here."

The preacher frowned. "You mean a fallen woman who tempts good men with sins of the flesh?"

Niko was growing irritated. "Whatever man, did you see anything suspicious a few nights ago?"

The preacher shook his head. "Nope. Didn't see anything out of the ordinary."

"Okay, yeah. Thanks for your help, asshole," Niko muttered dryly.

He drove to the projects in North Holland, the same place where he encountered that couple arguing. He hated thinking back to that night. That man he killed was a piece of shit, but Niko couldn't help but think that he could have handled the situation better. He forced the guilt away and continued searching for clues. He checked the apartment complex and the parking lot but came up with nothing.

It was only when he walked behind the Pay n' Spray that he noticed something. The green streetlamp didn't provide the best lighting to see with, but it was enough to see that blood was splattered on the side of the brickwall. At closer inspection he noticed long hair stuck to the dried blood. It was too dark to tell what color it was, but Niko had a feeling it belonged to Jenny. He didn't have the evidence to say it was, though, so going on a gut feeling alone wouldn't do any good. Besides, why would they bring her here? There was an apartment complex across the street and even if people in this area weren't too fond of cops, someone would have heard the screaming and either called the police or intervened. Well, at least he hoped someone would have. Then again, he was the only person who saved Lily that night.

As he walked back to his car, he remembered the other details Eric had given him. The kidnappers had Eastern European accents, one was taller than the other and drove around in a gray Stallion. What else had Eric said? Dark clothing, the men were lanky and one treated the other like shit. Could it be these two were what they call The Night Terror? If so, why hadn't anyone else report the second man? Perhaps this second one was a newcomer.

Being a man who was better at committing murders rather than solving them, he found that he wasn't very good at playing detective. Still, he had to find this man. Whoever was lurking in the shadows had to be brought to the light and forced to pay for their crimes.

Niko called it a night and went back to his North Holland apartment where Lily was waiting on him. She was the only thing that helped him forget, if only for a little while.

* * *

"I don't get it. The first two movies take place in a haunted cabin and now the man is in medieval times and to make it more confusing, it has a different title than the first two," Niko said halfway through the movie.

Behind them Hazel played on the pool table, knocking balls around.

Niko hadn't enjoyed movies or TV in years, but Lily had convinced him to sit down and watch a movie with her. She promised it wouldn't be a sappy romance or any other type of chick flick. Instead, she brought over a small box of horror films. Some were on DVD, but most were worn VHS tapes, recorded off a TV channel. Fine, he could deal with horror. Most of what she brought were crap movies, though. At least in his opinion, but really, who could take a movie called  _Killer Potatoes from Outer Space!_  seriously?

"It can be confusing but, it's a cult classic. It's one of my favorite movies that I thought I'd share with you," Lily replied as she moved closer to him.

"Why are we watching TV again?"

"Because this is what couples do. They snuggle up on the couch and watch spooky movies together."

"We're not going to watch that movie where all they do is wander around the woods until they die in a cottage, are we?" He asked, passing the popcorn bowl back to her.

"Hey, I love that movie. Did you know that really happened? There's an entire website on it and everything!"

For a moment he thought she actually believed it to be true, but then she pursed her lips to hide the smile that threatened to give her away. Something he learned early on was that she couldn't lie very well. He found it to be cute when she tried to hide her smile.

"You are the worst liar I have ever met," he teased.

She grinned and set the bowl aside. Slowly, she inched her way onto his lap and circled her arms his neck. "But for a second you believed me," she said inches from his face.

He ran his hands over the curves of her body before resting them on her back.

For weeks he wanted to say what was in his heart, but every time he thought he could say it, the words would be caught in his throat. He found it both annoying and funny that he could charge into a building full of thugs and mobsters, guns blazing without any fear, but here he was, afraid to speak the words that he felt she needed to hear. There was only one way he could say it. At least for now.

" _Moje srce kuca samo za tebe,"_  he murmured, before kissing her.

"What does that mean?" she asked. They had broken their kiss, but her lips still brushed his. Warmth spread throughout her body at his words, even if she didn't understand them.

"Someday I'll tell you," he replied.

She pretended to pout. "Aw, that's not fair. You have to tell me."

"When the time is right."

She giggled and laid her head on his shoulder.

He did that to her sometimes; spoke in his native tongue and wouldn't tell her what he was saying. It drove her crazy, but at the same time, she loved hearing him speak it. Sometimes while making love he would often utter something in Serbian, almost as if during the heat of their passion he had forgotten English.

They stayed up late into the night, watching cheesy 80s horror flicks. Some were laughably bad, while others truly terrified Lily. She stayed under her blanket at one point, while clinging onto Hazel. The ginger kitten looked to Niko, begging for his help.

 _That is what you get for biting me, you little shit._  Niko thought.

It was past one in the morning when they both had fallen asleep on the couch with Hazel curled up on Lily's chest. For Niko, it was uncomfortable to sleep this way with someone leaned back on his chest and the arm of the couch digging into his back, but he couldn't bring himself to wake her. So he lied there until he eventually drifted off.

His dreams were plagued with the events from the wedding only this time it was Lily instead of Kate being gunned down before him. He held her as the blood and life slowly drained from her body. Her brown eyes grew were dull and lifeless. All around him a cold darkness engulfed him as he cradled his love. Behind him were footsteps swiftly approaching. They stopped a few feet away from him, but Niko didn't care. That is until a familiar voice spoke.

" _Your punishment is far from over, Bellic,"_  a male voice behind him said, followed by a chuckle.

Niko turned to find a man partially hidden by the darkness. The only feature he could make out was the blonde hair on top of the man's head. For a moment, he thought it could be Dmitri, but the voice wasn't the dead Russian's. Something about this figure made his stomach twist in knots. Dread washed over him as something deep within his memories tried to creep forward and warn him of an unknown danger.

"Who are you?" he asked.

In the partial lighting, he saw a sinister smile spread across the man's face. " _I'm here, Bellic."_

Niko's eyes fluttered open at the sound of his phone vibrating across the coffee table. He stretched out as far as he could, trying not to wake Lily. His fingers walked towards his phone until he was able to reach it. On the sixth ring, Niko hit the green button and held the phone close.

"Yo, yo, Nicky! It's me, Brucie," the steroid junkie shouted over the phone.

Niko turned the call volume down and placed the phone back to his ear. "Hey, Brucie, your friend finish doing that thing for me?" he whispered.

"That's what I called to tell you about, NB. Steve finished it this afternoon. I know it's late, but can you come by right now?"

He looked at Lily and smooth her bangs away from her face. "I don't know," he replied, hesitantly.

"I know you have your girlfriend and everything, but my shop won't be open tomorrow… I uh… have errands to run."

Niko sighed. "Alright, fine. I'll be there in the next hour."

He hung up and carefully lifted Lily's upper half. Sliding out from under her, he carefully held her head before placing a pillow underneath her. She stirred, making him freeze. Once she stilled, he kept moving until he was free.

He left her a note before quietly leaving the apartment.

Lily lied there on the couch, disappointed that he had taken off again. As she stroked Hazel's orange fur, he wondered where Niko went every night and why he would always leave her. She was curious as to what he was doing and thought of following him, but it didn't feel right to do so. Everyone was entitled to their secrets, even if it drove her crazy. Sooner or later, though, she knew she would have to confront him.

She sat up on the couch while rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Now that she was unable to fall back asleep, she decided to play pool for a bit to take her mind off of Niko, but no matter what she did, she couldn't help but feel that he was out there doing something he should be doing.

* * *

**East Hook**

Niko arrived at the garage and found Brucie waiting on him. He was shirtless as usual when he greeted Niko. Niko returned the greeting and followed the 'roid junkie into the garage.

"Alright, Nicky, Steve managed to pull the computer from the police cruiser and installed it into another car."

Niko stopped. "Wait a minute, he put it in another car? Why would he do that?"

"I told Steve about your vigilantism and he thought it was badass. He said you needed a badass car to go with it. He heard about these armored cars set to come out in 2013 and it inspired him to make you one."

Niko raised a brow. "He made me an actual armored car?"

"Well… not really," Brucie pointed to a small car covered with a tarp. "Here, I'll show you, man," Brucie said as he approached the car. He pulled the tarp revealing a dark blue Futo with a grille guard on the front. "Look at it and weep-"

"Tears of pure fucking gold," Niko finished. "Yes, it's… impressive, but I only needed the computer, Brucie."

Brucie placed a hand on Niko's shoulder. "Listen, bro, if you're gonna be stealthy, might as well do it in style and besides, you don't want people to see you in that other car, do you? I mean, don't get me wrong, Sabres are badass cars, but yours sticks out like a sore thumb."

Niko had stolen one of these cars in the past. He had to admit that it came in handy when fleeing from the police or anyone else that he pissed off. He didn't see the harm in giving this car a try. In a small way, it felt silly, as if he were some comic book hero.

It reminded him of the comics he used to read to his little brother, Josef, before bedtime. Their favorite was one about a man who took up vigilantism. He took out all of the bad guys with a sniper rifle and wore a shirt with a skull on it. Niko used to go around doing odd jobs to come up with the money to buy the latest issue for Josef. He would give anything to have his brother back.

"Yo, NB, you okay, man?" Brucie's voice pulled Niko from his thoughts.

"Yeah… I'm fine. Just remembering something from a long time ago," he replied.

"Damn, must have been heavy if it's got you lookin' all sad."

"I'm fine, Brucie. Listen, I'm going to take the car for a test drive. Tell Steve I said thanks."

Brucie gave nod. "I'll head back inside. See you, NB."

"Take care, Brucie."

* * *

Preston Pecinovsky typically hung around Northern Gardens in Bohan. Bathed in the green glow of a street light, he was leaning against a brick building across from the Triangle Club, enjoying his last cigarette. He exhaled, releasing the smoke into the warm night air.

He wanted to go to the titty bar after he finished his cigarette, but he was banned from the building. All because he decided to get handsy with one of the girls. When she slapped him, he tried to choke her out until a couple of the bouncers pulled him off of her. Fucking bitch was asking for it in his opinion.

So there he was, his last cigarette almost gone. He finished it off and flicked it into a puddle. He was ready to leave the area when the street lamp above him suddenly blew out. Glass rained down and scattered all over the street.

"What the fuck?" Preston whispered.

Across the street, a man stepped out from the shadows wielding a bat while slowly made his way to Preston. He eyed this stranger who dressed in all black. His hood cast a shadowy veil over his face, making it hard for Preston to tell who this asshole was. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and pushed himself off the wall. He wasn't about to stick around to find out what this guy wanted.

"You Preston Pecinovsky?" the man asked in an Eastern European accent.

Preston faced the stranger and scoffed. "Yeah. Who the fuck are you?"

Before he knew what was happening, the stranger raised his bat. It flashed in the moonlight before coming down and colliding with Preston's head. He hit the brick wall and slid down to the concrete ground, moaning in pain.

"What the fuck, asshole," Preston groan.

The bat came down and struck him again. He cried out for help, but his screams abruptly stopped when another blow to the head silenced him for good.

Niko dipped the bat in the water puddle to wash away Pecinovsky's blood. He then turned and casually walked away from the scene.

He felt guilt over what he had just done, but he tried to remind himself that the man he just killed was scum. That meant the death was justified, right?

* * *

**Alderney**

"So, you're Niko Bellic," Jessie said with a grin.

"I am," Niko replied.

They were sitting across from each other in the living room of Jessie's new house. The rent was a bit pricey, but it was still with her budget. The shop was up and running again, plus she had two new clients who were willing to pay big money for custom bikes so for now, she was doing great.

She wanted to feel proud of everything she and her girls had accomplished, but her heart hurt too much. She damned Johnny for the hundredth time for making her feel this way.

"Lily talks about you quite a bit. Sometimes I wish she'd shut up!" Jessie said before giggling.

At that moment Lily stepped through the door holding a large box in hand.

"Oh, does she now?" Niko replied, amused. He eyed his girlfriend who looked at him with confusion.

"Wait, what did I do?" Lily asked.

Jessie laughed. "Nothin', kid. We were just takin' jabs at you."

Lily rolled her eyes and set the box on the couch. "Well that's the last of it," she announced as she looked around the living room.

Jessie had moved into an old house just outside of Westdyke. It was a dark green, but the paint was peeling. The landlady told her she was welcome to paint the house any way she pleased. The house also needed repairs, but the landlady had said that if Jessie could fix the place herself then that month's rent would be two hundred dollars cheaper. Still, even with all of the repairs to the house, it was a huge improvement from her apartment.

By now everyone in the Steel Roses knew of Jessie's pregnancy. She was met with congratulations and excited squeals from the girls. Linda and Melissa wanted to throw her a baby shower, but she wasn't sure if it was a good idea.

As the weeks went by, she slowly got used to the idea of becoming a mother, but the thought of doing it alone still scared her.

"Thanks for helping me out today," Jessie said.

"No problem," Lily replied. "How are you feeling?"

Jessie's hand rested on her stomach. "Well the morning sickness is gone at least, but I feel like a bloated whale."

Lily had trouble seeing how Jessie could feel fat when she was eighteen weeks and hardly showing. She hoped that if she ever had children of her own that she wouldn't show for a long time.

"You certainly don't look like a whale. You look great actually," Lily replied.

Jessie waved off the compliment. "Yeah well, I don't feel great."

She got up from the couch and made her way into the kitchen. The fridge was bare except for a case of beer. She took of them from the case and walked back into the living room. She tossed the cans to her guest before sitting back down on the couch.

"Drink up," Jessie said.

"You didn't have to do that. I could've grabbed them for you," Lily said.

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Oh please, I'm pregnant, not disabled. So, Niko," she said turning the Serb. "I hope you're treatin' my girl well? You ain't gonna break Lily's heart are you?"

"I treat her the way she deserves to be treated. I won't break her heart," Niko replied.

Lily scooted closer to Niko. "He's a good man, Jess."

Jessie wanted to tell Lily that all men were worthless, but refrained herself from doing so. "You guys are so cute together. Hold on to a good thing while you got it."

Lily heard the sadness in Jessie's voice and wondered if she were thinking about Johnny. She felt sorry for her friend and angry at Johnny for walking away from Jessie like that. Jessie had tried to contact Johnny after their fight, but he ignored her calls, text, and emails. Finally, Jessie said fuck it and decided she would raise her child alone. Lily hoped this experience wouldn't make her a bitter person like it did Amber.

"If you ever need anything, please tell me and I'll get it for you," Lily said.

Jessie gave a nod. "Thanks, Lil. You know, I always knew you had a good head on your shoulders. You certainly know when to stay out of toxic relationships."

Lily thought about her ex in that moment, glad that Jessie wasn't there at the time to witness that mess. "Yeah… I uh, know when to pick 'em."

There was silence for several moments before Niko spoke. "So… uh, Jessie. You run a motorcycle gang?"

"Club," Jessie corrected. "Not gang. Motorcycle club and yes, I'm their chapter president. We try and stay legit, but sometimes ya gotta get your hands dirty. Like last month we hit the Angels hard."

"Have you taken the Lost MC's territory?" Lily asked.

"We didn't take anything from them. They disbanded and we moved in before any other club could do so. Sure we had some assholes trying to force us out, but we always proved to be on top," Jessie boasted. "Ain't nothin' gonna take down the Roses. Especially men!"

Jessie's phone began to go off at that moment. She answered it, then excused herself outside.

"I'm surprised you hang around bikers," Niko said to Lily in a hushed tone.

"Jessie and I go way back before her days as a biker. Ten years ago, she was your average rebellious, moody teenager. I'm honestly shocked that she turned out this way, but I'm sort of proud of her."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I mean, she's fearless and she when she wants something, she goes for it. I wish I could be like that."

He placed an arm her. "I think you're fine the way you are."

She smiled. "You always seem to know what to say."

Jessie reentered the house, looking annoyed. "I hate to cut this visit short, but I have to deal with an emergency at the shop. I'm sorry, guys."

"It's alright," Lily said before embracing Jessie.

"It was nice meeting you, Niko," Jessie said.

"Nice to meet you, too," he replied.

Jessie watched Lily and her boyfriend leave, feeling a sense of jealousy enter her heart. She tried to push those feelings away, but in the end, they reared their ugly heads back up. She was disappointed in herself, to say the least. How can someone be a badass when they were moping over a someone who wasn't worth it? She sighed and grabbed the keys to her red and black Wolfsbane before leaving her house.

She had to get over Johnny K and soon.

What she didn't know, was Johnny was somewhere on the other side of town, in some dive bar, feeling just as bad as she. He knew that he couldn't stay away forever. Eventually, he was going to have to face her.


	15. Reunions and New Alliances

There was something about the night air that heightened Dmir's senses. He could practically smell the blood on the wind as he explored Alderney. It was his favorite place to pick up victims. Bohan came second. He parked his car across the street from some shitty bar on the bad part of town. The area was crawling with bikers, but it mattered little to him. He wasn't afraid of greaseball trash.

His body tingled with anticipation as he waited on his prey. He didn't know her name, only that she frequented a bar owned by some sleazy biker gang. She was going to be a tough one, but he loved a challenge.

In the passenger seat, Darko looked out the window, focused on something that wasn't apart of reality. He wasn't high, at least not yet. Dmir's brother would occasionally do that. If he hadn't been high in a long time, he would often have this blank stare, facing a wall, remembering, muttering to himself. Often saying the names of the boys they grew up with, the ones that Dmir knew Darko betrayed all those years ago. They were all dead or so he had told Dmir, but the look in his brother's eyes told him otherwise.

"Darko," Dmir said quietly. His brother slowly turned to face him with a glazed look in his eyes. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

Darko gave a nod and slowly blinked.

"Good," replied Dmir.

Finally, she appeared from the back exit. Her hair was auburn, with frosted highlights. She wore a halter top with skin tight jeans and high heel boots. He was growing hard just thinking about fucking her and slitting her throat afterward. He watched as she adjusted the straps on her purse before making her way to her car.

"Be careful," Darko said. "She's a Steel Rose."

Dmir didn't know what that meant, nor did he care. All he wanted was this little whore and to see the life drain from her eyes.

Together they exited the Stallion and casually strolled her way. By the time she made it to her car, the brothers were already standing behind her. What they didn't know was the woman carried a gun on her.

She pulled the gun on them and began screaming for them back the fuck away from her. This woman who stood at five foot four held her gun like she was in a gang and trying to show she was stronger than the both of them. However, Darko's military training proved useful for the men. He quickly disarmed her, grabbed her by her slender throat, and slammed her into her car before she could scream. Dmir took over and grabbed a fist full of her hair and slammed the poor girl again. She let out a whimper as they dragged her to the car.

As soon as they reached the car, they heard light footfalls quickly approaching them. A blonde, leather-clad woman with a large chain in hand came racing towards them.

"What the fuck are you doing with Lindsey?" The woman roared.

She swung the chain, striking Dmir in the face. He fell back against his car and dropped the girl who was now known as Lindsey to the ground. Lindsey let out a groan and rolled to her side. The biker woman drew up her knee and hit Dmir in the groin. She did this twice before Darko came to his senses.

He leveled the gun at the biker and fired two rounds into her chest. She dropped to the ground instantly. The sound of gunshots alerted the others who had just stepped outside. Dmir straightened himself as more bikers ran to the scene.

"Allison's been hit!" one shouted

"They're trying to kidnap Lindsey!" another said.

Dmir grabbed Darko and ordered him to get inside the car. The gray Stallion sped off before the other bikers could catch them. Two women jumped on their bikes and rode after them, while the rest stayed behind.

"Someone call an ambulance!" Linda Heder ordered as she rushed towards the injured women.

Allison lied in the street as blood pooled underneath her. Lindsey crawled towards her lover's side and sobbed as the life drained from Allison.

Linda knelt beside the two women and whispered to them that everything would be okay. Sirens wailed somewhere in the distance as Allison clung to Lindsey's hand. The seconds seemed to tick by slowly as they waited.

Allison's chest heaved as she struggled to breathe with blood filling her lungs. No one knew what to do for her. It rose and fell for a final time. Her body stilled and relaxed as her eyes became dull and lifeless.

"Allison!" Lindsey cried out as she shook the lifeless woman. "Come on, wake up!"

Linda placed a hand on the young prospect's shoulder. "She's gone, Lindsey."

"It's all my fault!" Lindsey cried. "I should've waited for her. I should've…." her hands flew to her face as she sobbed.

Linda closed Allison's eyes as the ambulance arrived. The paramedics quickly went to work on the young woman, but it had been in vain.

After they took the body away and Lindsey was safely taken home. Linda stood there in the middle of the street, looking up at the night sky. Her mind drifted back to that night in 2002 when her parents called her to tell her that they found Mackenzie's body. They thought it was Eddie Low, back then known as the Filth Slayer, but as time went on they found out a second killer was working in the city. Could this be the same man? She wasn't sure, but whether or not this was him, he was going to pay for what he did to Allison and Lindsey.

She took a breath to calm herself then pulled out her phone to inform Jessie of the incident.

* * *

**Broker**

"Honestly, Lily, this relationship has gone on long enough!" Janie said in the kitchen one morning.

Lily sipped on her orange juice as Janie moved around the kitchen, ranting about Niko. The disapproval of her choice in a boyfriend was putting a strain Lily and Janie's friendship. She hoped that Janie would have grown used to Niko by now, but instead all Janie did was complain about him.

"We've been over this: Niko's past is in the past."

Janie turned away and poured herself a cup of coffee. She slammed the pot back into the coffee machine and grabbed the vanilla creamer from the cupboard. She blew the steam away from her mug as Lily got up from the table.

"At least think about it," Janie said.

Lily glared. "Think about what?"

"Breaking up with him, duh!"

Lily placed her glass in the sink and stormed into the living room with Hazel on her heels. She was tired of listening to Janie always putting down Niko. To make things worse, he was nothing but polite to Janie, but she was still icy towards him. Lily hoped this wouldn't put a wedge between her and Niko as it did Lily and Janie.

"I'm not breaking up with him. I love him!" It was out before Lily could stop herself. She never admitted to anyone else that her feelings for Niko were so strong. She knew Janie really wasn't going to like this.

Janie's eyes widened. "You  _love_ him? Lily, are you insane?! How would your dad feel if he found out about this? He's not going to be happy."

"I told him about Niko and he approves," Lily replied.

Hands on her hips, Janie asked: "Oh, does he now? Does he know about Niko's criminal history?"

Lily swallowed and shook her head.

"That's what I thought," Janie walked back into the kitchen where her coffee was waiting for her.

Lily shook with anger as she stood there in the middle of the living room. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her fists were clenched. Never in her life had she wanted to hit someone she loved, but in that moment, she wanted to hurt Janie. Maybe she couldn't actually hit her, but she had other ways.

Lily grabbed her purse and hat, then stormed back into the kitchen. Janie could see the anger written all over her cousin's face. Lily's eyes were like slits as she watched Janie sip on coffee.

"Don't you ever criticize my choice in a boyfriend when you seem to pick nothing but toxic men! Niko doesn't hit me or make me feel bad about myself, unlike your precious Calvin."

She saw the hurt expression on Janie's face and instantly regretted her words, but it was too late now. Janie opened her mouth to say something, but closed it and turned her back to Lily. One hand covered her face while the other gripped the coffee mug tightly. Lily took a step forward but stopped. She left the house, knowing that it was for the best, at least for a while.

* * *

The clothing store was like an icebox and it had a suffocating smell to it. Lily didn't know what Mallorie saw in this place. Sure the clothes were nice, but it was hard to enjoy them when one felt half frozen.

Carefully, she looked through the shirts folded on a table. She made sure she folded them back neatly because not far from her was a saleslady glaring at her. Mallorie told her not to worry about it, but Lily had spent her entire life worrying what others thought. It wasn't going to go away overnight.

She couldn't find anything that interested her and Mallorie seemed to have a hard time as well. She noticed her friend's growing frustration, wondering what was wrong.

"You okay, Mallorie?" Lily asked as she placed the shirt on the table.

"This is the first time I've been clothes shopping since Mijo was born and I can't find anything that looks good on me."

She had trouble believing that nothing looked good on Mallorie. In fact, she thought Mallorie looked great. Lily could barely tell she had a baby.

"You look good to me," Lily said.

"I think you're the only one," Mallorie said, taking an armful of shirts into the dressing room. Lily grabbed a pair of jeans and followed her.

"Why do you say that?" Lily asked from the other dressing room.

There was silence in the other room for a few minutes. Concerned, Lily entered Mallorie's dressing room and found her sitting on the seat, shirtless in a black lacy bra. Her breasts were barely contained in the material and wire, making Lily want to go out buy Mallorie a proper fitting one.

Her head was down and her light brown hair curtained her face, but Lily could still see the tears streaming down Mallorie's cheeks. Her eyes drifted down to the older woman's stomach and she noticed the jagged, dark pink lightning bolts. She quickly looked back up.

"Mallorie?" Lily said softly. "Are you okay?"

Mallorie sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine."

"It's just that…" she took a shaky breath. "Ever since the baby's been born, Roman treats me different and he doesn't come home when he says he will. He stays out all night doing God knows what and I'm so scared he's back to his old ways. I don't know what to do."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Lily said, trying her best to comfort Mallorie.

"It's not nothin'! Roman once had a gambling problem and we used to be unfaithful to each other, but… I didn't have a choice on my part. I catch Roman sometimes looking at other woman and… and…" Mallorie began to sob again. She didn't want to cry in front of the younger woman, but she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Oh, Mallorie, I'm sorry about that. Maybe you should confront him?"

Mallorie shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does! You're clearly upset. I think you should confront him."

She sighed. "You're right… I'm cryin' in the middle of a department store for fuck sake. I need to say something to him," she gave another sniff and stood up while wiping her eyes. "Thank you for listening to me."

Lily smiled. "No problem."

"Now, let's get you something to wear for Niko," Mallorie said, grinning.

For the first time, Lily didn't feel embarrassed. She agreed and the two women paid for their new clothes before going to Veronica's Hidden Stuff.

Two hours later, they were sitting in Mallorie's car while the Vibe played quietly. Mallorie was on the phone with Roman, asking about the baby and if Niko was still there.

Just hearing his name made Lily feel giddy. She thought she was over that, but now that she had more sexy lingerie to wear, she was nervous as to how Niko would react when she put on. She really hoped he wouldn't tear it off of her during a moment of passion like he did her last bra. He could become really rough at times. Not that she didn't mind.

Mallorie ended the phone call and turned her attention back to Lily.

"Me and Roman are thinking about having a Fourth of July cookout. You should come unless you guys don't celebrate it."

"We celebrate the Fourth. It's an excuse for my people to drink alcohol," she replied, rolling her eyes. "Not that they need an excuse."

"Alcoholism is a problem in my family too."

"Thankfully, the family I'm close to rarely touches the stuff."

"Lucky you," Mallorie replied. Lily could hear the bitterness in the older woman's voice.

She was thankful she came from a sober family. The only one with a problem was Blackie, but he was trying to keep clean. As long as he tried to get proper help for his inner demons, she would keep quiet about what happened that day he lost control.

"I guess we better get back to the guys?" Mallorie asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure they're lost without us."

* * *

**Alderney**

Jessie punched the radio that blasted L.H.C.R., silencing it for good. The younger members swallowed nervously as their president paced the clubhouse floor like a caged animal. Jessie who was normally mellow was now enraged after hearing of the events that unfolded the previous night.

"One of my girls is in the fucking hospital and the other is on a cold slab in the morgue! I want some goddamn answers and I want them now!" Jessie roared as she slammed her fist on the bar counter.

Aubrey limped forward. "Jessie, we been out there looking all over Alderney, talkin' to folks and whatnot, but so far, we ain't got any answers."

"Search again, but I want you gals in Liberty City this time. I want everyone in pairs too. No one is allowed to be alone, you got that?"

Everyone in the room nodded in agreement. Jessie dismissed the meeting but kept her higher ranking members. Linda, Melissa, Big Bess, and Aubrey followed Jessie into the back room to continue their own meeting.

"So this Niko guy, you think he'll help us?" Bess asked as she sat down.

Linda scowled and folded her arms. "Can't believe we're gonna reach out to some immigrant fuck for help. It was an immigrant that killed my sister and now I have to work with one?"

Jessie gave an exasperated sigh. She was too frustrated and hormonal too deal with Linda's prejudice bullshit. She shot her friend a glare before sitting at the head of the table.

"Niko's been going around, playing vigilante and word has it, he's taken out quite a few of Liberty City's most wanted and now he's moving on to Alderney. None of our people are on that list, so we're good. He might be the person we need to look into what happened at outside this very building. Now unless someone has a better idea, I'd like to hear it." Silence filled the room so Jessie continued. "Tonight, I'm inviting Bellic over to the clubhouse. Linda, you keep your mouth shut if or when he shows up here."

Linda clenched her fist. "How do we know this Niko Bellic guy isn't the killer?"

"Niko immigrated here last year. The killings started in 2001," Jessie explained, though it didn't seem to calm the vice president.

Jessie stepped out of the clubhouse, leaving the rest of the women to converse among themselves. The night air was chilly, but to her pregnant self, it was a blessing. Lately, she went between hot and cold at worst moments.

She pulled out her phone and dialed Niko's number. It took a few rings, but when he finally answered, he sounded annoyed. Probably interrupted his and Lily's sexy time. Jessie grinned at that.

"Yeah?" he said in a deadpan tone.

"What's up, Niko? It's me, Jessie Mason. I'm a friend of Lily's, remember?"

"Yes, I remember you. How did you get my number?" His tone was slightly friendlier, but she could still detect that he was being standoffish.

"The criminal underworld likes to keep tabs on someone like you, Bellic. From what I've gathered, you're not a man to be fucked with. You'd be surprised how many folks around here hesitate to utter your name."

There was a long pause on the other line and Jessie wondered if he hung up on her.

"Are you there?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm still here. What do you want?"

"Meet me at the Steel Roses' clubhouse in Actor at midnight. I'll explain more when you get here," with that, she ended the call and leaned against the side of the building.

It was getting late and it wasn't safe to be out by herself in that particular area, especially with the so-called "Night Terror" out on the streets. She wasn't worried about him at first. The guy seemed to go for young women who would be missed, but after last night, she wasn't so sure.

Linda had sent two bikers after the men who attacked Allison and Lindsay, but the Stallion was surprisingly faster than their bikes. They returned feeling defeating and regretful that they couldn't avenge one of their sisters and now Linda was coming unhinged. As if things couldn't get worse.

She pushed herself off the wall and walked back and forth in the alley behind her building. Pacing had always helped her with her thoughts. It was a strange habit she had since she was a child. Going for walks always helped her when her mind was muddled or when she struggled to write an essay. She looked up at the fiery orange sky and sighed.

"Thought I'd find you out here," a gruff male voice said from behind.

Jessie spun around and almost stumbled backward at the sight of a tall, broad-shouldered man standing in the darkness. She almost let out a scream until he stepped into the light.

"Johnny?" she asked as relief swept over her.

"It's me, sugar," Johnny replied with a grin.

Jessie's heart fluttered at the sight of him then she became enraged. She slammed her fists into his chest making him grunt and stumble backward. Before he could say another word, she delivered more blows to his chest. He was surprised at how hard she could actually hit.

"Ow! Hey, knock it off, Jessie!" Johnny said, dodging fists.

"How dare you, Johnny K! How fucking dare you come around here after everything you put me through! I should kick your ass!"

"Jessie, stop it! I came here-" he caught her by the wrist before continuing. "to talk to you."

Jessie calmed and stepped back. "Don't worry, I won't make you pay child support."

Johnny dusted off his jacket then spoke. "I didn't come here for that. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for what I said. I could have handled it better. I was just…"

"Just what?" Jessie snapped.

"Afraid. All my life I've been living in chaos and decided long ago, I'd never have kids to spare them a life of hell. One of the reasons Ashley and I broke up is because she wanted a family and I didn't. Hell, even if I did, I wasn't about to let a meth-addicted baby enter this world," he sighed and took her hand. "A late friend of mine once said that I need to take happiness wherever I could find it and well, I think you're my happiness." he almost cringed at his own words. He hated sappy shit, but these were the words Jessie needed to hear if she were going to forgive him.

She stood there, not knowing what to say. A painful lump of emotion clotted in her throat and she couldn't swallow it away. She gritted her teeth as tears streaked down her face. Love and hate fought a war within her heart and she wanted to punch him and kiss him at the same time. It was times like these she wished she truly were the heartless bitch everyone made her out to be.

"Are you okay? Jessie?"

"Why? I was starting to get over you and now you're back in my life! I don't need you, Johnny!"

He traced circles in the palm of her hand as a way of soothing her. She was a hellcat, but he wasn't going to let her go that easily.

"I know I fucked up, okay? I'm here now, doesn't that make up for what happened?"

She scowled and pulled her hand away, but his touch lingered on her hand.

"You made me worry how I was going to do this alone. So no, it doesn't make up anything," She saw the disappointment in his eyes. "But… if you stick around, if you prove to me you're a good father, then maybe you'll redeem yourself."

"Sounds fair, I guess, but please, calm the hell down out there."

Jessie wiped away her tears and turned away. There was nothing more he could say to her that didn't need to be said. There was silence between them for what seemed like an eternity. He came up behind her and without saying a word, placed his hand on her stomach. She rolled her eyes and lowered his hand to the small bump.

"When does it start moving?" He asked.

"Not for another month."

A warmth blossomed where his hand rested and it spread throughout her body. She smiled in the growing darkness. She turned and threw her arms around him. Maybe this wasn't the best start to a serious relationship, but she didn't care. She loved Johnny, even if he didn't really love her.

"I hate to ruin our moment, but we have to talk business," Jessie said, pulling away.

Johnny grinned. "I thought pleasure had to come first?"

She gave him a gentle whack on the on the chest. "I'm serious. I need you to do something for me tonight."

"Sure, as long as it isn't too risky," Johnny said with a shrug.

"Don't worry, this guy has grown soft. He shouldn't be too much trouble for you."

* * *

Lily had finally fallen asleep, giving Niko the opportunity to leave the apartment. He decided to show her his apartment in Alderney, saying they could use it as sort of a getaway. After Roman walked in on them the day before, Lily wanted them to have a place to themselves so Niko brought her here. He thought she would hate it, but instead, she told him it had a charm to it.

Carefully, he rose out of bed. The metal frame gave a slight groan, making Niko freeze in place. When Lily didn't stir, he stood up and grabbed his jeans off the floor and quietly got dressed.

As he made his way to the door, he heard the squeak from the bed and froze.

"I see you're going out again," Lily mumbled.

Again? So she knew he had been leaving in the night. Guilt washed over him and he turned back to face her.

"I'll be back soon, I promise," Niko said, softly.

"Stay safe," she whispered.

It was a thirty-minute drive to the Steel Roses' clubhouse. He parked across the street and walked towards the building. He found a note on the front door instructing him to go around back. He had a bad feeling, but ignored it and went into the dark alley. They were just women, he thought. What damage could they possibly do?

He looked around for any sign of Jessie, but if she were here, it was hours ago. After waiting for ten minutes, he gave up and decided to he was ready to leave when someone stepped out from the shadows and attacked him.


	16. The Deal

A blunt object struck Niko hard across his back, sending him to the ground. As he struggled to catch his breath, his attacker loomed over him. He couldn't figure out why this asshole wasn't taking advantage of the situation, but if this guy wasn't, Niko would.

Once Niko was able to stand, he turned to face the person in front of him. The man was slightly broader than he was, but they were roughly the same height. No matter, Niko had taken on men twice his size in the past. The man charged at Niko. He jumped out of the way, grabbed the man's arm, and twisted it behind his back. His attacker growled in pain before Niko gave him a swift kick in his lower back, sending him into a pile of trash.

The attacker stumbled to his feet with his back facing Niko. He saw the Lost MC symbol and stormed over to his assailant. Grabbing the man by his shoulders, he spun him around to see who this person was.

"Johnny? What are you doing here?" Niko questioned as he let go.

The biker rubbed his sore shoulder. "Jessie, you better get out here."

"Ugh, what is it with men and violence?" Jessie said, stepping out of the darkness.

"You told me to attack him!" Johnny said.

Niko crossed his arms. "You invited me out here, just to have some meth-head biker jump me?"

"I'm not a meth-head, you immigrant prick!" Johnny shot back.

The Serb and the biker scowled, refusing to break eye contact. One trying to intimidate the other, but neither of them refused to back down. Jessie rolled her eyes and stepped between the two. Too much testosterone was in the air for her taste.

"Ladies, ladies, you're both pretty. Listen, Bellic, I'm sorry I asked Johnny to jump you, but I had to know if you could still handle yourself and it seems you did just that."

"I don't understand," Niko said.

"What I mean is, I was worried Lily made you soft. I know us woman can make you men weak."

Niko found the notion to be bullshit. He couldn't see anyone making him weak, especially if they were someone he was meant to protect.

 _You couldn't protect Kate._ He self-doubted.

He thought back to last time he worked with Johnny and how it didn't go well for them. He didn't trust either biker now that he thought about it. He didn't like the idea of coming out here, but curiosity got the better of him.

"Why am I here, Jessie?" He asked.

"Follow me inside and I'll explain more," Jessie replied.

Reluctantly, he followed her. The inside of the clubhouse was exactly what he thought it would be. It smelled of stale beer, cigarettes, and something else that he couldn't quite figure out. Not that he wanted to. He took a seat at the bar and looked around. The place was dark and dirty looking. Behind him was a cage complete with a stripper pole and hung all over the walls were pictures of naked women on bikes. Wasn't this supposed to be a women's bar?

Two more women came from the back room, both wearing their Steal Roses jackets. The one with auburn hair seemed frightened of Niko, but the one with frizzy brown hair eyed him suspiciously. He noticed the name tags on her jacket read HEDER and VICE PRESIDENT. So this was Jessie's second in command, he was going to have to keep an eye on her.

"Stop looking at my tits!" Heder spat.

"I wasn't- You know what, sorry," Niko said. It was better than dealing with her.

Heder rolled her eyes and turned to Jessie. "Yo, this immigrant fuck was looking at my tits!"

"He's spoken for, Linda," Jessie said, making her way to the bar.

Johnny stood in the corner, watching over this little meeting, but staying silent. Niko was fine with that. He supposed that Johnny was looking out for Jessie, which was okay. He would do the same for Lily. He wouldn't be surprised if Johnny ran off again, though.

"That don't mean shit! Married men go to strip clubs and fuck girls half their age!" Linda spat. "All men are fucking pigs." She poured herself a shot of tequila and knocked it back.

"Ignore her, Bellic. She's a man-hating lesbian who doesn't shave," Johnny said from across the room.

Linda had another shot. "You got the first two right," then added under her breath. "Fucking deadbeat."

"We're getting off course here," Jessie said. She held up a bottle of vodka for Niko, who declined. She ignored this and poured his drink anyway and slid it over to him. "Okay Bellic, the reason I called you out here is that you've been looking into the Night Terror. As I said over the phone, people keep tabs on you just in case you decide to after them. Everyone knows what you did to Pegorino."

"Pegorino was a nobody," Niko said.

Jessie laughed. "Well yeah, everyone knows that, but Pegorino was still a crime lord. Despite Jimmy P. being the lowest on the totem pole, it still took a lot of balls to kill that son of a bitch."

Niko looked down at his drink, his expression darkened as memories of the wedding crept up in his mind. "I had my reasons."

"I heard about that. Sucks, man, I'm sorry," Jessie replied. She poured herself a glass of water, wishing she could have something stronger.

Niko shrugged and took a drink of the vodka. He never liked drinking while talking business, but at that moment, he made an exception.

"Anyway," Jessie continued. "a few nights ago, some pieces of shit attacked one of my girls and killed another. Both assholes spoke with an Eastern European accent and one of them managed to disarm Lindsey."

Niko looked up from his drink. "What did they look like?"

Jessie gave a nod to Linda. Linda took another shot before speaking. If he didn't know any better, he'd say this woman was shaken up.

"One was blonde and the other had dark hair that was buzzed short. The dark haired one disarmed Lindsey and used her gun to kill Allison. They drove away in a gray Stallion afterward," Linda explained. By then she had tossed the glass and was working on the bottle. "It's the same bastard that killed my little sister."

"Are you sure?" Niko asked.

Linda's eyes blazed. "I know for a fucking fact that it was a goddamn immigrant like  _you_!" Jessie placed a hand on her friend's shoulder, but Linda jerked away.

"Linda's sister was killed seven years ago and they still haven't caught the man responsible," Jessie explained. "Rumors circulated that an immigrant killed her so Linda has been salty towards them ever since. Part of the reason why we're looking into this is because of Mackenzie Heder. Here," Jessie pulled a poster off the board and passed it to Niko.

He looked over the information and noted the girl's features. Mackenzie and Linda shared similar features, but there was a softness to Mackenzie compared to Linda's ruggedness. He noticed the bottle Linda was drinking was half empty now. Her fiery eyes were becoming glossy and she began to sway.

"I hate you," Linda slurred. "I hate all of you!"

"Calm down," the auburn-haired woman said.

"Fuck you, Aubrey!" Linda snarled.

Aubrey shrunk back and limped closer to Jessie. Niko noted how odd it was for a biker high up in the ranks to be cowardly. He wondered how on earth his girl got where she was in the Steel Roses. Maybe the Roses were not as powerful as Jessie believed.

Jessie sighed and leaned on the counter all the while complaining about her back. Niko glanced over at Johnny who hadn't taken his eyes off of her.

"Look Bellic, all I want to know is if you've gathered any information on this Night Terror or Terrors. We believe it was the two men who attacked my girls the other night, they could also be the ones who killed Mackenzie all those years ago," Jessie said.

"The only information I have is that they're apparently stalking prostitutes in Bohan now. Young ones mostly."

"Those filthy bastards," Linda hissed.

"That doesn't fit their M.O.," Jessie said. "I thought they went for the 'good girls'. The ones who would actually be missed. I mean, I don't want to sound like a dick, but no one would miss a prostitute and Lindsey, as much as I love her, came from a bad family. If she disappeared they wouldn't come looking for her."

"Police don't give a shit about murdered prostitutes or women from broken homes. They could be practice girls for them," Johnny spoke again.

"Unfortunately you're right," Jessie replied. "So, I propose this, Bellic: you continue doing your vigilante thing as long as you leave my girls alone. I don't care if they're on a wanted list, you leave them alone."

Niko crossed his arms. "And in return?"

"And in return, my girls will give you any new information they find and Lily will be under our protection. Hell, I might make her a member."

"I don't think so."

"Shouldn't that be her decision to make?" Jessie challenged.

Niko didn't say anything to that and finished off his drink. He was done here, whether or not they were.

"I'm leaving," Niko announced as he stood up.

Jessie pushed herself off the counter and followed after him. Johnny started for her, but she waved him off. He stopped and let her go by herself despite his better judgment. Even if Niko didn't seem like a that bad of a guy, Johnny still felt uneasy letting the mother of his unborn going outside with one of the most dangerous men in the city. Then again, Jessie was one of the most dangerous women in the city.

"You really care about Lily don't you?" Jessie asked once they were outside.

"Yes," Niko answered.

"Does she know that?"

"I try to show her."

Jessie and Niko stopped at his car.

"Please be careful with her. She gets her feelings hurt easily and she's naive. Some folks use that to their advantage," Jessie said.

Niko thought back to the day he snapped at Lily and cringed. He swore he would be more careful with her feelings.

"I would never take advantage of her."

Jessie looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was being genuine or not. Lily had been burned in the past. Lily didn't know it, but Jessie used to keep tabs on her and Amber during her time away. She knew of a heroin junky named Thomas, who drifted into town one day and left with a piece of Lily's heart the next year. When Jessie found out what he did, she made sure Thomas was unidentifiable after dumping his body in a ditch somewhere along Highway 52.

"Okay, Bellic, I believe you. For now," with that, Jessie turned walked back to her clubhouse where her girls and Johnny were waiting for her.

* * *

Two days later, Jessie was standing in the kitchen of the shithole that Johnny considered his home and knew that if they were going to raise a child together, this place would not do. The radio was cranked up too loud, making it hard to think. She turned off the radio and hid it in the oven.

Johnny came down the stairs with the only other pair of clothes he owned. Jessie hated the thought of Johnny running around in the same pair of clothes for days at a time. She didn't understand how it didn't bother him, but she'd suck his dick without hesitation so maybe she was just as equally dirty.

Since he was moving in with her, she figured he'd start dressing nice… well, at least a fresh pair of clothes once in awhile. He wasn't going to like it, but he couldn't have his friends over all hours of the night like he used to. She went over the list of rules in her mind one more time. She wondered if Ashley ever gave him restrictions.

"Ready?" She asked once he came to the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah, guess so. This place is a pile of shit with some  _interesting_  memories, but I think I'll miss it."

"Ah, don't worry, if you ever piss me off, you can still come here to hide."

Johnny chuckled. "How is it hiding if you know where I am?"

"Oh trust me, Cowboy, there's no place you can hide from me," she said with a grin.

Johnny placed what little belongings he owned in her truck and followed her to her new house in Westdyke.

Her house was well worn and didn't look any better on the inside, but he didn't care. There were worse placing and he would know. He could always help her fix whatever was needed anyway. He wasn't exactly a handyman but could try.

He took off his jacket to hang it up, but stopped and looked it over. The patch that once said President was gone and in its place was Nomad. After the Lost were disbanded, it never felt the same. Clay and Terry had thought about joining the Liberty City chapter but decided against it. Without Johnny as the leader, it didn't feel right. He sighed as he placed the jacket on the coat rack.

 _Well, this is my life now._  He thought dishearteningly.

In the kitchen, Jessie was on the phone ordering a pizza. Not knowing what else to do, Johnny fell onto the couch and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels, unsure of what to watch. Finally, he landed on that knife show and kept it as background noise.

He wished he could be happy, but he wasn't. Hell, even Jessie seemed terrified, so why were they bothering with this? It wasn't too late, she could have an abortion. That wasn't what she wanted though and he couldn't figure out why. Not only did they not want kids, but they were both unfit to raise one.

_I wonder what Ashley would think of all this._

"Pizza will be here in thirty minutes!" Jessie announced as she entered the living room.

She flopped down beside him on the couch and snuggled close to him. He placed an arm around her and was surprised to find how natural it felt. His eyes drifted down to her growing stomach. He noticed she was starting to show, which made him realize that he didn't know how far along she was. That day she announced the pregnancy, he didn't exactly stick around to find out.

"So uh… what happens now?" Johnny asked.

She raised a brow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… where do we go from here? What do you expect from me?"

"I don't know. Just be here for me and don't bail out last minute, okay? I'm terrified, but I love this little jellybean already. I hate mushy shit so that's hard for me to say. Wait, you're not asking me to marry you, are you?"

"What? Oh no, no. Nothing like that."

"Oh thank fucking god! My parents ruined marriage for me so no thank you!"

"What were your folks like?"

She sighed and pressed herself closer to him. "I came from a fucked up, white trash family. Amber and I were picked on a lot growing up because we couldn't always afford the nicest clothes or sometimes mom and dad couldn't pay the water bill so we went without bathing for days. My parents fought so loud that the neighbors would have to check on us. We bounced from trailer park to trailer park and pets were a luxury we didn't get to keep long.

"My folks, I guess they loved us in their own way, but we were a burden on them. There ain't no sugar coating on that. Amber was always the 'good daughter'. She did everything mom and dad asked with little complaint, but me? I was the hellion, the rebellious daughter who didn't give a flying fuck what they thought. Society had already decided I was trash, so why not act like it? Well, one night, I came home late after hanging out with my now ex-boyfriend. I was what seventeen, eighteen? I don't really remember, but anyway, mom and dad were furious. I didn't mean make them worry, but I couldn't stop having fun. Well, dad starts yelling at the top of his lungs and mom is bawling on the couch. He called my ex a low life so I shot back that dad wasn't any better. Dad pushed me, causing me to fall against a stack of dirty dishes. They all fell and shattered all over the linoleum floor. I looked down at the broken mess, my anger was gone. I thought about bending down and picking up the pieces, but when I looked up at dad, his hand collided with my face so hard that I fell onto the broken dishes and cut my hands."

Johnny sat there taking all of this new information in.

"Mom kept saying 'Richard what have you done?', but she didn't make a move to check on me. This part might sound pathetic but I started to cry. I got up and ran straight to my bedroom. In the early hours of the morning, I had packed what I could and ran off with my boyfriend. I stayed in the city without contacting anyone for ten years. I mean, sure I dropped hints to my sister that I was alive and well, but for the most part, I stayed away."

Johnny didn't know what to say. Shit, and he thought his childhood was rough. "Wow… that's uh… heavy."

"Yeah, it is. I'm sorry I told you all of that, but I just want you to understand that that's not something I want for my child. If things ever get too rough for us, I want us to split. I don't want our kid to grow up thinking that mommy and daddy fighting is normal."

Johnny agreed, not wanting that for his child either.

"I bet your parents would be hitting the roof right now," Johnny said.

Jessie scoffed. "Oh trust me, you don't know the half of it. They could handle you being a biker, but not, well, you know… Jewish." She felt horrible the moment she said it. She looked down at her lap, too ashamed to look at him.

Johnny didn't look angry, much to her surprise. "Oh really now? Daddy was a white supremacist?"

"You could say that. He was racist, but I think he was lowkey ashamed of it because he never said any racist stuff in public. He didn't like that Amber had befriended an Indian. See, Lily's family was well off. Being ranchers, they made quite a bit of money, but they were never exactly rich. Still, that didn't stop my dad from labeling all Indians as lazy, greedy drunks. Poor Lily, she liked my parents, but they didn't like her. Once at the dinner table dad referred to Lily as a prairie… N-word."

Johnny was disappointed, but not surprised. "Was Lily there?"

"No, thank fuck. Amber was mortified and left the dinner table crying while mom quietly ate her meal. I always hoped that Amber wouldn't follow in my parents' footsteps, but it seems that she's turning into them. I feel sorry for her son. I don't want to be like them, Johnny. I may be a lot of things, but a shitty mother will never be one of them."

Johnny draped his arm on her shoulder. "Yeah well, I may be a lot of things too, but I won't be a shitty dad."

"You think we'll be okay?"

He shrugged. "Only time will tell. I think I should tell you that I don't have much money. The club funds have dwindled since I disbanded the Lost and I-"

"Don't worry about money, the Steel Roses are making plenty and the girls and I are taking over Honkers soon. I could use a tough guy like you working as a bouncer."

"I don't know..."

"Oh come on, it'll be fine."

 _I guess I don't really have a choice, do I?_  "Okay, I'll do it. I can hear Terry and Clay giving me a hard time about this."

She rolled her eyes. "I'll make them bouncers, too."

She kissed him and laid her head on his shoulder. Maybe he could get used to this. It wasn't so bad, but he knew this wasn't going to last forever. For now, he was just going to enjoy it.

* * *

Niko stood over Keenan Burdette with his combat pistol leveled at the man's head. Burdette was laying against a car on the top floor of a parking garage in Alderney. He clutched his side, trying to stop the bleeding, but it was in vain.

Moments passed as Niko debated whether or not to pull the trigger. Now he knew no one on the most wanted lists were the Night Terror, but this man needed to be taken off the streets and the only way to do that was a bullet in the brain. Being killed over armed robbery was a little harsh, but this man was probably capable of doing worse.

Sirens wailed in the distance, time was running out. He could see flashes of red and blue swiftly making their way to the parking garage. Niko aimed at Burdette's chest and pulled the trigger. Burdette groaned and slumped over dead.

Police cars had the building surrounded now. Niko looked around for a quick exit before spotting a yellow sports bike in the corner and stunt ramp not far from it. He ran for the bike, grabbed the helmet off the handlebars and quickly began to hotwire the bike. It roared to life, Niko backed up the bike before going at full speed. He did this only once before off the highway that day the coke job went wrong. The day he found out Michelle was a fed.

He jumped the first ramp, hit the next building then jumped the next ramp. The force of the land sent him off the bike and he skidding across the road. He rose to his feet, then stumbled over. More sirens were coming closer. He forced himself to stand and limped into an alley.

The jacket he wore provided some protection, but it was now torn and bloody. He took it off, tossing it into a dumpster. He made his way down the alley and came out on the other side. He could hear the sirens, but now he was confident that were not looking for him. By the time he made it to his car, the adrenaline had worn off, making his sides stab with pain.

He was glad Lily was spending time with her cousin on this night because the last thing he needed was her freaking out over his injuries. It was bad enough she knew about him leaving late at night.

His slid behind the wheel and eased back against the seat. His back, his sides, everything seemed to hurt. He knew he couldn't continue like this, but he also believed he didn't deserve a normal life. He was trying with Lily, but guilt continued to stop him from complete happiness. It felt good to have her beside him; it helped him forget all the bullshit that happened in his life. Just like Kate.

Pulling out his phone, he scrolled down to Kate's number. He used to call it when he needed to hear her voice. Now the number was no longer in service. He should've deleted it by now, but he could never bring himself to do it. After thirty minutes passed, he finally started the car and drove to the apartment where he could tend to his injuries in peace.

The days turned into weeks and it wasn't long before summer began. The temperatures had risen much to Niko's dismay. He was a man who enjoyed cooler weather, not the sun baking him. The only upside to the sweltering heat was seeing Lily in less clothing, at least when she was off work.

It was an unforgivable summer that year. The AC went out in the car Lily was assigned to one day and her customers let her know how inconvenient it was for them. She apologized multiple times and rolled down the windows. Some of them left the cab in a huff. She didn't care though. Hearing less whinging was a good thing to her.

Never once did she complain though. As long as she got paid at the end of the week she could deal with the bullshit. Seeing Niko every day also helped and for him, it was the same. Each day he dealt with enough bullshit to make him want to quit and each day when he came back to the depot, he forgot all of it the moment he saw her.

Niko and Lily were standing on a pier near at Firefly Island one night watching the dark water lap against the support post. Above them, a bright full moon glowed. Its reflection rippling in the water. On the beach a couple, a couple strolled with their hands entwined.

"I'm thinking of taking the night shift," Lily said while leaning against the rail.

"I'd rather you didn't," he replied.

"Don't worry about me. Besides, there's more money in it."

"It's too dangerous. If you need money, I can give you some."

"Niko, I don't want your money nor do I need it. I can take care of myself."

"What if you meet someone who is deranged?"

"I will be fine, but I am worried about you," She said, placing her hand on his.

 _How much does she know?_  "Me?" he gave a nervous laugh. "Don't worry about me. I am fine, really."

She raised a brow. "So why were you limping last week?"

"I hurt my leg."

"How did you do that?"

"What is with all the questions? I'm fine, I promise you this."

She didn't believe him, but she decided to drop it for now. Eventually, she was going to get the truth from him. She found that she couldn't stay frustrated with him for very long though. Sometimes love was annoying like that.

He placed his hands on her waist and began to move them under her shirt. She pressed herself against him.

"Stop trying to butter me up," she whispered.

"I'm not."

She giggled. "You don't like PDA."

"No one is around."

He leaned in to kiss her and she gave in to him. Her arms circled around his neck and she trailed her nails up and down the back of his nape. His hands trailed up her bareback where he found the hooks of her bra. Lily's hand wrapped around his bicep, stopping him.

"Don't even think about it," she said, breaking off the kiss.

He moved his hands back down to her waist and kissed her again. He had never felt anyone so soft or taste so sweet before. She reminded him of everything that was right with the world, she reminded him of a time before his life went to complete shit, she reminded him of Kate. The red-headed, emerald green-eyed woman appeared in his mind. She was smiling at him while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, same as the day he met her. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but he couldn't. Not anymore.

He opened his eyes and broke the kiss. Lily's eyes fluttered open. She looked at him puzzled.

"Is something wrong?" Niko shook his head, but she didn't believe him. "Yes, there is, I can see it in your eyes."

"It's just…" he trailed. What the hell was he supposed to say? He couldn't tell her that he was thinking of another woman while kissing her.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked. He could hear the hurt in her voice. He felt guilty, but he couldn't tell her the truth.

"No! You didn't do anything wrong. This is on me," he took her hand. "Come on, let's go back to your place."

Lily sighed and agreed to follow him. Side by side, they walked along the pier until they came to the abandoned carnival. It was then that a woman with short blonde hair dressed in a nice suit stood up from her bench and quickly approached them.

"Niko, how are you?" the woman said in an Eastern European accent.

Niko and Lily stopped in their tracks. The woman gave Niko a smile, but they could both see she was a nervous wreck.

"Mrs. Faustin!" He said surprised. "It's good to see you. I'm okay… you know… it's difficult."

Lily senses Niko's uneasiness towards this woman.

"Yes, very difficult," Mrs. Faustin agreed.

"I was sorry to hear about your husband," Niko said awkwardly.

Mrs. Faustin frowned. "Were you? Maybe. Unlike that treacherous rat, Dmitri!"

"He and I are  _not_ friends."

"My husband was not perfect. Far from it, he was awful! A murdering, drug-addicted bully! In many ways, the world is better off without him, but now I am alone."

 _Lady, it sounds like you're better off that way._  Lily thought.

"I am… uh… sorry about that," Niko replied. Lily noticed he couldn't look the woman in the eyes, making her wonder what had happened between these two.

"And now my daughter grows up without a father, she's learning a very bitter lesson early," Mrs. Faustin continued.

"Yes… it's bad," Niko said, still refusing to look at her.

Mrs. Faustin was hardly listening to Niko as she continued to rant. "And now the money is gone, the house was repossessed, and we are living in one bedroom apartment. The land of opportunity? I'd rather be back in Russia! At least there they don't pretend life has any joy."

"Do you need money?" He asked, looking the woman in the eyes for the first time.

"I need more than that! I need someone to come and get a man that won't leave my daughter alone!" Mrs. Faustin's voice began to break. "I can see he is a slimeball. I think he is trying to turn her into stripper or worse!"

"What guy?"

"Some slimeball that hangs out on Dillon Street in Schottler."

Niko crossed his arms. "Can't do much for you, but I can get this slimeball to leave your daughter alone." He took Lily by the arm. "Come one, let's go."

"Niko, thank you, but please, no more killing!" Mrs. Faustin called after them.

Lily looked back at the distraught woman then turned to Niko.  _No more killing? Had Niko actually killed someone during his days as a criminal? I don't know how to feel about this._

They got inside the Sabre and floored it to Dillon Street. Lily's hair whipped wildly in the wind as they made their way to the location. They found the slimeball standing in an alley, smoking a cigarette. He was dressed nicely, making seem respectable.

"Wait here," Niko said as he stepped out of the car.

Lily watched Niko swiftly make his way to the man. Niko yelled something to the man that she couldn't make out. The two exchanged some not so friendly words with each other before they began to scuffle. Lily's eyes widened and her heart was pounding in her chest. Her hand flew to the door handle. She wasn't sure what to do.

Niko shoved the slimeball, the slimeball threw a punch, but Niko dodged it. Niko had the upper hand in the fight and knocked the slimeball to the ground in two punched. The man was on his knees now, begging for mercy. Lily held her breath, waiting to see what Niko would do next. His eyes narrowed and shouted a threat at the slimeball. He stood back up and ran down the street and out of sight. Lily gave a sigh of relief and relaxed into her seat. Niko came back and slid behind the wheel. She noticed one of his knuckles were torn and bloody.

"Are you alright?" Lily asked.

"I'm fine. Was nothing I couldn't handle. Now, let's get you home."

Fifteen minutes later, they were parked outside Lily's house. She didn't get right away as they sat in silence. It was tempting to invite him in for "hot coffee", but Janie was home and the last time he was over both her cousin and Bridgette could hear them. It was awkward and embarrassing, to say the least.

"Sorry about earlier," he said.

She shrugged. "It's okay. We all have our bad days."

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"Yeah, tomorrow."

They leaned in and kissed. He thought of Kate again in that moment and pulled away from Lily. She was by his withdrawal.

He touched the side of her face, making her heart flutter. Even after all that had happened that night, she still couldn't deny her feelings for him. She got out of the car and he watched her walk inside as he always did.

He drove for his North Holland apartment with recklessness, something he rarely did anymore. After going all these months without thinking of Kate why did she suddenly appear in his thoughts now? He still missed her, but wasn't Lily supposed to make it better? Wasn't she the one to fill the hole in his heart? Was the only way he could move on with Lily was to forget Kate? He wanted didn't to forget her, he wanted to remember her without it hurting. He wanted to love Lily fully without the guilt and worry.

Why did feelings have to be complicated?


	17. Brothers

On shaking legs, Darko hauled himself off the bathroom floor and stumbled to the sink. He splashed cold water on his face, trying to wake himself. He dried his face with a dirty towel and looked into the mirror to find his bloodshot eyes looking back at him. He looked older than a man in his early thirties. War and drugs would do that to a person. He didn't feel as shitty as he did the night before, but he was still jonesing for his next high.

Darko changed into a pair of clean clothes and shuffled into the kitchen and found a pot of stale coffee. Hot or cold he'd drink it. It tasted like shit, but it helped him feel less like a heroin-addicted zombie.

There wasn't any sign of Damir in the apartment. Darko felt relief for the first time even if it meant his brother was probably out on other "hunt". Deep down Darko hated his older brother.

But Damir was a "good boy" according to his mother. She always loved him more.

When Darko was twelve, he hid under the porch as his parents fought. He overheard his mother shout that Darko was a bastard and his real mother was the village whore. Darko's heart sank at that moment. It all began to make sense to him after that. He was a constant reminder of his father's infidelity. His mother rarely showed him the love and kindness that one would expect from their parents. It was the reason why his mother treated Damir better and why his father went out of his way to make sure Darko felt loved. He never found out who his biological mother was because no one knew that he knew the truth.

In his mother's mind, Damir could never do any wrong. Damir kills mice for fun? Well, that takes care of the mice in the house. Oh, Damir killed the Cravics' cat? Oh well, shouldn't be in our yard. Did he break that boy's arm? Well, the boy was asking for it. Damir tried to force himself on that girl? Well, she was probably tempting him. No matter what Damir did, their mother always found an excuse. No one was going to punish her precious son or accuse him of any wrongdoing. That's why it wasn't any surprise to anyone that Damir became the village bully, picking on anyone he thought was weaker than him. Most of the kids were afraid of him. The only one brave enough to stand up to Damir was Niko. Sure, Niko had his ass kicked by Damir being that he was four years older than Niko and much bigger, but the village children always turned to him when they had a problem with Damir.

Darko scoffed at the memory. It was always Niko the kids liked more. It was Niko that the adults boasted over. It was Niko that his childhood crush loved the most. Niko, the one who could do no wrong. He wondered how Milica would feel if she knew that her son was really a monster.

He often thought back to that moment when he stood before Niko. He was ready to pay for his actions, for Niko to end it all. His old friend looked down the sights, glaring. His finger curled around the trigger. Darko looked up at Niko, his eyes pleading with him to do it, but to Darko's surprise, Niko lowered his gun, placed it back in his jacket, and turned away with Roman right behind him.

Now here he was a year later, stuck in this hellhole of a country with a madman of a brother who used his drug addiction to his advantage. Why couldn't Niko kill him and be done with it?

_Do you think you were doing me a favor by letting me live? I was ready to die, Bellic. I want my suffering to end and you couldn't do it. You fucking coward._

The front door flew open and Damir stepped inside. Darko greeted his brother in their native tongue.

"How are you feeling?" Damir asked.

Darko shrugged. "Better than yesterday."

"You look like shit," Damir said bluntly.

"I feel like shit."

Damir sat beside his brother and placed an arm around him. It was rare for him to show any type of brotherly love. Darko knew that it was hollow, though. Three days earlier, Damir cut off Darko's supply of heroin for punishment over letting a girl getaway, after giving Darko a severe beating of course.

"You know why I do this to you? It's because I care. Mama and Papa never properly disciplined you as they should have so now it's up to me to fix all the wrongs they made. Maybe if you had been raised better than that unit of men would never have been slaughtered. They were good boys. All except one." Damir scowled and twisted the collar of Darko's shirt. "Niko Bellic." He spat. "That piece of shit. I hope he suffered greatly for what he did to me." He pointed to his face. "He's the reason I have these scars. He's the reason I was chased out of the village." He tightened his grip on Darko's shirt, the fabric pressing hard against Darko's throat. "It was your fault, too."

Darko thought back to that day. It happened two weeks after Josef Bellic had tragically died. All the kids in the village tried to comfort Niko the best they could, but he pushed them all away. The only one he'd let get close to him was Jelena Peric. Darko had always loved her, but she wanted Niko and he knew this. One day he found Niko and Jelena by the creek. Jelena comforted Niko while he grieved for his little brother. She kissed him, then one thing led to another and soon, Niko had taken comfort in her body. Darko was disgusted by what he was witnessing. He felt heartbroken and betrayed by his friend. Not knowing what else to do, he ran home and told Damir what happened. It was a decision Darko would come to regret within the following days. He could still smell the blood, hear the screams of a terrified Jelena, and see the look in Niko's eyes as he fought Damir.

"He's dead. You don't have to worry about him ever again," Darko said, trying to push the awful memory away.

"I know. The sorry bastard."

Damir stood and hauled Darko to his feet. "Come on, brother, tonight we go out and drink our troubles away. I think you've earned it. Maybe I'll let you have some smack and maybe I'll find myself some prey."

Darko agreed, knowing that it was easier than angering the older man further. He followed Damir out of the apartment and the two walked down Hove Beach until they came to Comrade's Bar.

Inside it looked dark and dingy as usual. Micky greeted the two as they sat down at the bar. They ordered vodka and talked of back home. Darko didn't want to be reminded of home, where his friends and neighbors once lived. The very people he hurt all those years ago. He tried to push away those memories but they always came back. He still heard the gunfire, his friends screaming in pain while he hid.

He remembered weeks after the massacre, he went back to the mound his friends were buried in to beg for their forgiveness. That was when he found Niko there with a shovel in hand. He hid in the bushes, watching Niko dig up the rotting corpses. The smell was so intense that it took everything in Darko to keep from vomiting. It was then he realized that Niko knew someone had betrayed them. The look in his old friend's eyes told him that Niko wasn't going to stop until he was found. Darko slipped away into the forest and fled the country. He would go as far as possible to make sure that no one would find him. Where he could hide and let his additions dumb his mind from all the pain and guilt of the war.

He felt a sharp jab in his ribs, stirring him from his thoughts.

"Wake up!" Damir hissed.

Darko mumbled an apology and turned back to his drink. It wasn't as mind-numbing as heroin, but it served its purpose for now. He was starting to crave again. He hated when this happened because he couldn't think clearly. He was willing to do anything for his next high. Damir would sense this soon and use it to his advantage. Darko had another drink and tried to fight back as the cravings that crashed over him like a tidal wave. If he didn't do something soon, he feared he would drown in it.

_That's what you want, don't you Damir?_

All around them immigrants chattered away in their native tongues. It was becoming overwhelming for Darko and he wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. Damir however, could stay in these bars all night. Just when Darko thought he would suffocate in the atmosphere, Damir announced it was time to go. He slid off the stool and followed his brother out the door.

After the incident with the bikers, they were forced to destroy the Stallion. Not something Damir was particularly happy about. Darko never heard the end of it from his brother. He blamed Darko for the fuck up that night. Now they were without a car which meant hunting was harder for Damir. It forced him to drag his victims into alleys and take care of them there.

Once they made it past the 69 Diner, Damir brought up his next victim. "I'm getting bored with the women in this city. I want something new and exciting. I want an exotic beauty."

"What exactly are you looking for?"

"I just told you. Why can't you ever pay attention!" Damir snarled.

Darko looked down at the sidewalk. He wasn't in the mood for this nor was he high enough it.

"You want me to find an exotic beauty for you? I wouldn't know where to start."

"Just keep your eyes peeled. Come now, I am tired."

Darko agreed as he always did as they walked along a dingy Broker neighborhood. Eventually, they hailed a cab and went to Algonquin.

* * *

Niko never really liked the Split Sides Comedy Club, but it was something to do and Lily seemed to enjoy herself. Though, he was surprised that she found that comedian's jokes to be funny.

"Oh man, that was hilarious," Lily said as they walked down Star Junction.

"It was... interesting. I didn't find that song about his daughter to be funny, though. Who calls their newborn ugly?"

Lily giggled. "It was just a joke. I'm sure he doesn't really think his baby is ugly."

"I don't know, I found the SIDS joke to be tasteless."

"Well, they say misery makes good comedy."

"I'll take your word for it."

She looped her arm around his as they crossed the street. Because he didn't want his car damaged(again), Niko parked just outside of Star Junction. The last time he left his car in the area, someone slammed into the rear-end and Niko was forced to wait three hours at the Pay 'n Spray.

"Sorry we have to walk a bit," Niko said.

Lily shrugged. "It's fine. I enjoy walking."

"You shouldn't enjoy walking around in this city. It's dangerous!"

She rolled her eyes. Although she found his overprotectiveness to be sweet, she also thought it was annoying at times. It was another reminder that nobody thought she could handle herself. It was disheartening.

"I will be fine, Niko. I'm not the helpless porcelain doll that everyone thinks I am."

"I don't think you are helpless. I just don't want anything to happen to you."

She heard the hurt in his voice and felt guilty. Was he thinking of Kate? He seemed distracted lately and she couldn't get him to tell her why. How long would their relationship continue like this? She didn't like that he was keeping secrets from her, but she was afraid to press him further on the matter. Sooner or later, he would have to tell her.

They made it to the car and got inside. Vice City FM played  _Buffalo Stance_  on the radio, one of Lily's favorite songs on the station.

"Roman called me yesterday. He said he was having an old-fashioned American cookout soon," Lily said as passed the bridge.

Niko scoffed. "Yes, he's been wanting to do one of those for a while. I can't wait to eat until I go into food coma."

Lily laughed and began to rummage through her purse. "There's more to it than that. It's a get together with family and friends. We talk, laugh, and play games. It'll be fun." She pulled out her vanilla chapstick and began to apply it.

"I don't like games."

She rolled her eyes and place the chapstick in her purse. "You don't like anything."

"I like you."

Her face warmed and she smiled. It wasn't an I love you, but it made her heart beat faster all the same. They were not ready to say those words to each other, not yet, but she often wondered who would be the one to say it first. She was too scared and Niko was too stubborn.

"I like you, too, Niko."

They arrived at her house at ten. The only one there to greet them was Hazel. The kitten jumped onto the couch and mewed for attention. Lily scooped up the orange fuzzball and scratched his ears. He responded by purring and nuzzling her chin.

"You missed me, didn't you Hazel?" she cooed.

Niko wanted to roll his eyes. He hated when she baby talked the cat.

Lily set the kitten aside and walked into the kitchen. She made a pot of decaffeinated coffee for them. Niko was fine with that. The last thing he needed was to stay up all night the day before work.

They sat at the breakfast table while the coffee brewed. Hazel wrapped himself around Niko's leg and mewed for his attention. He reached down and scratched the feline under the chin before shooing him away.

"So, this cookout," Lily began.

"What about it?"

"Since it's on the fourth of July, there will be fireworks."

"Yes, I'm familiar with your country's customs of blowing shit up to celebrate independence."

"And it won't bother you?"

He raised a brow. "Why would it bother me?"

"You know… the war and everything. I wouldn't want it to upset you."

"I'm not following."

The coffee was ready and she rose from her seat. "I mean war veterans are sometimes upset by fireworks because it reminds them of gunfire," she said, pouring them both a cup. She came back to the table and sat across from him. Blowing steam off her cup, she watched him from across the table.

"I think I'll be okay," he said.

"Are you sure? Because we can-"

He cut her off. "I said, I'll be fine, I promise. It's not gunfire that reminds me of war anyway."

She mouthed an "Oh." and looked down at the dark liquid in her cup.  _I get annoyed at him for treating me like I'm helpless and here I am doing the same to him. I guess this is normal for couples to do, but I don't remember ever fussing over Thomas like this._

"Niko, do you mind if I ask you something?"

"You just did," he teased.

"Oh, haha, very funny. I'm serious."

He shrugged. "Go ahead."

"How many girlfriends have you had?"

His cup rested on his lips before he brought it back down. Of all things to ask, it had to be that. "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm curious."

"Alright since you want to know, I never had a girlfriend until I came to this country. Before that, I uh…"

"Hired prostitutes?" She said before laughing.

"Yes."

She crinkled her nose. "Ew, I was only kidding!"

"You asked," he said with a shrug.

"I guess that explains all those things you know."

He hid a smirk behind his mug. "Then you shouldn't be complaining."

She set her cup aside and rose from her seat. "Okay, Niko, since you know so much." Setting his drink away from him, she bent down and kissed him. They tasted the bitter coffee on each others' lips, but neither cared. "Show me more," she whispered. She didn't need to ask twice.

He took her by the hand and started to guide her to the stairs when the front door flew open. Lily jumped away from Niko as Janie and Bridgette came staggering through the living room. They slurred a greeting to Niko and Lily before flopping on the couch. They both smelled of expensive booze and Niko caught a hint of marijuana on the girls. He was surprised to see Janie in such a state. She always came off as a stick in the mud every time he came across her.

The strawberry blonde looked familiar to him, but he couldn't figure out where. Then he remembered, she was a friend of Alex. He met her once when he took Alex to Club Liberty last year. Judging by her attire, she must have been one of the rich ones in this city who loved blowing their parent's money. Lily spoke fondly of Bridgette, though, so maybe she wasn't all that bad.

The sudden interruption spoiled the mood they were in. Even though the two girls on the couch were too drunk to care what Niko and Lily did upstairs, Lily couldn't enjoy it knowing that they were downstairs.

"You wanna get something to drink?" Niko suggested.

"Why not? We can always pick up where we left off."

* * *

"Th-that vodka was...  _gross_ ," Lily slurred.

"You wanted it," Niko replied.

They decided to go to Comrade's Bar because it was the closest and neither felt like driving. Lily had never been inside before, but now that she had, she didn't like it too much. At least that Mickey guy seemed nice.

Now they were outside in the warm night air feeling tipsy. Maybe more than tipsy and Lily was pretty sure that she was the drunk one. Her legs felt a little weak, but she figured she'd sober up after walking around for a while.

"I wanted to see… to-to see why you like fermented potato water  _so_  much."

"It is how you say, an acquired taste."

"C-c-come on, let's go for a walk. We're drunk!" She said a little too loud.

She stumbled and fell against Niko who barely caught her in time. He knew letting her have all that vodka would be a bad idea, but at least she wasn't sick. Not yet at least.

"Speak for yourself, lightweight."

"I am nooooo lightweight! I am a warrior!" She began whooping and laughing.

She tried to skip down the sidewalk but tripped and almost fell on her face. Niko looped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him.

"You're so pretty, Niko."

He rolled his eyes. She tried to kiss him but he wouldn't let her because it didn't feel right.

"You're as drunk as your cousin right now," he pointed out.

They began to walk back to Lily's house when they spotted a white van with a large dent on its side creeping around the neighborhood. Niko didn't give it much thought, but Lily had watched too many movies where the creepy molester always had a van. The alcohol didn't help her paranoia either. She pressed closer to Niko for comfort, but she still couldn't shake that bad feeling. When the van drove passed them the driver eyed Lily in a way that made her shudder.

They made it back to her house and she noticed the white van parked down the road. The fear she felt sent adrenaline through her veins, helping to sober her up.

"Niko, doesn't that van seem suspicious to you?" Lily asked once they reached her door.

"No."

"I've never seen that van in this neighborhood before. I don't like it."

"The alcohol has made you paranoid."

"I'm serious. Something is off about that van, Niko, I just know it. Will you stay the night with me? I'm frightened. Please?" She looked up at him with those dark brown eyes that he could never say no to. "My bed is comfortable, you know that."

He sighed and agreed, knowing he was going to regret this.

Janie and Bridgette were passed out on the couch, snoring away. Lily placed blankets on them while Niko went upstairs to her room. He thought about undressing down to his boxers but decided against. He didn't need any more skin contact to tempt him into bedding a drunk girl.

She entered the room and found him laying on the bed still in his jeans. He thought she was still drunk to consent, but sex was the farthest from her mind at that moment. That creepy van outside still made her uncomfortable. She dressed in a baggy shirt and crawled into bed beside him.

She laid her head on his chest, feeling a safer than earlier. When she looked into his eyes, however, she noticed he had that distant look again. She wished she could get him help in some way for the trauma he had been put through, but Niko was stubborn and wouldn't talk to anyone about it. She would have to bring it up someday but now wasn't the time.

She laid her head on his chest and let the vodka carry her off to sleep.

* * *

Ashley Butler stumbled out of the crack house she'd spent the last three days in. Hove Beach was never her scene, but she didn't care. A high was a high.

She took out her phone and tried to call Johnny, but he didn't answer. He never answered. She didn't know why she bothered anymore. Now that he was with Jessie and had a baby on the way, no one saw him very much anymore. Even Clay and Terry said they rarely heard from him.

She leaned against a brick building as a wave of nausea washed over her. The contents of her stomach splattered all over the ground in an alley. Panting heavily, she wiped her mouth and straightened herself before continuing on her way. She didn't know where she going now, she just knew she had to get out of this area.

Ashley had heard the stories of women being snatched off the streets. She had been strung out all the time, but she still paid attention to the news. She tried calling Johnny again, but still no answer. She wanted to cry but found that she couldn't bring herself to do so.

_Fuck Jessie and fuck that little brat growing inside of her. I hope it's not really Johnny's._

She always wanted her own baby and tried to convince Johnny to have one with her, but he always said no. Maybe if she tricked Johnny, he would still be with her. Maybe a baby would help her stop using and even if he didn't want her, she'd still have the kid and the kid could love her.

It wasn't fair. She had been with Johnny since high school and nothing happened, but less than a year with Jessie and BAM! Knocked up. Now he was playing house with the bitch. Maybe if she confronted him about it and tried to tempt him, he would leave Jessie. She grinned. Johnny would always love her more than Jessie.

She became dizzy again and fell against a building in a neighborhood she had never been to before. Her brain pounded in her skull, making her wish for death already. She slid down the wall and was greeted by the warm pavement.

A bright light flashed in her eyes. She opened them and was met with three men standing over her. It was hard to tell what they looked like with headlights behind them but she was too strung out to care. Her eyes slid closed and she felt herself nodding off.

"She's with the Lost MC," one of them pointed out.

"Who cares? They're not very active in this area so we'll be fine," another voice said.

"Come on, this bitch won't put up much of a fight."

She tried to open her eyes but found that she didn't have the strength to do so. The three men lifted and carried her to a white van with a large dent in the side. Somewhere deep in her mind, a voice was telling her to fight back, to flee, but she couldn't.

* * *

Lily woke up around midnight, her head throbbing. She yawned and sat up on her bed. Niko was turned away from her, fast asleep and lightly snoring. She found him to be adorable when slept.

She was about to wake him when she heard voices outside followed by doors slamming. Nothing ever happened in this neighborhood so she got out of bed and walked over to the window. There she found the white van parked across the street.

She watched in horror as three men surrounded an unconscious woman. Lily cracked the window open just enough so she could hear what they were saying. She heard the words, "Lost MC" and "She won't put up a fight." Her hand flew to her mouth when she saw the familiar white eagle against black leather.

They were kidnapping a member of the Lost! She didn't have a way of contacting Johnny, but she did have Jessie's number and Jessie always believed women and girls should be looking out for each other. Jessie could do something before it was too late.

Grabbing her phone off the nightstand, quickly scrolled down to Jessie's name and hit call.


	18. Bad Encounter

There were many times when Jessie had thought she was in love in high school, but when looking back on those boys, she felt nothing for them. In fact, she could barely remember them. With Johnny, however, that feeling of love washed over her like a powerful wave and pulled her under. There were times when she would be watching him doing a mundane task, thinking about how much she loved him and all of the sudden she became emotional. Stupid pregnancy hormones…

Johnny may not have actually loved her, but he made her feel loved. Her heart quickened when he touched her stomach and she melted whenever he had a look of awe as the baby rolled against his hand. He became increasingly protective of her, something she didn't always find flattering, especially when it interfered with club business. Still, it was nice to have him by her side during this difficult time. He made sure she was okay, that she had everything she needed. She hoped in time he could learn to love her.

There were times when he was still unsure about the baby, but she knew he'd come around to the idea as time went by. To Jessie, it seemed that time was flying by faster than she wanted. She needed more time to prepare, but this was happening, ready or not.

Jessie only hoped that the one person Johnny truly loved wouldn't get in the way…

It was getting late and Jessie was ready for bed. There was nothing else to do that night except watch TV and neither was interested in the show that aired.

Johnny's phone went off twice, but he ignored the call. He had a feeling as to who it was, but he promised himself he was done with her. Seeing Jessie at the end of the couch with her slender legs laid across his lap as she nodded off, helped reassure him in his decision. Maybe he'd always love Ashley deep down, but Jessie was the stability that he needed. Jessie was sober and faithful. She may not have been as sweet as Ashley, but she had her moments.

Ten minutes later, Jessie's phone rang. Her eyes fluttered open and reached for her phone at the end table. She saw Lily's name on the caller ID and answered.

"Oh, thank Goddess you answered!" Lily said. Jessie could hear the worry in her friend's voice.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I watched a member of the Lost get dragged into a van! She seemed pretty strung out because she didn't put up a fight at all! The van just left, heading towards Colony Island."

"Damn it! Alright, I'll let Johnny know. Thanks, Lil, I owe ya one."

The call ended and Jessie quickly stood up, making herself feel dizzy.

"What the hell was that all about?" Johnny asked.

"Shit, Johnny, someone just snatched up a Lost chick. They were heading for Colony Island, last she saw."

He grabbed his keys off the table and made his way to the door with Jessie right behind him. He phoned Clay and Terry about the situation, who both agreed to meet him in Broker.

"Where the hell are you going?" he asked.

"I'm coming with you!"

"No, you ain't! This is Lost MC's business, not for the Steel Roses to get involved in."

"Being a Rose means sticking up for all women, that includes women of other clubs and if you think for a second I'm going to stay here and play happy housewife, well you-" He cut her off with a passionate kiss, taking her by surprise. Just as she was starting to accept the kiss, he broke it off.

"Stay here, alright? I don't want you getting hurt." He leaned in and kissed her again, this time much softer than he had before. "Don't wait up for me."

She was thankful for the poor lighting in the house to hide the blush creeping up on her face. When he got back, she was going to have to punch him for it or take him to the bedroom… or maybe both.

* * *

Lily was outside in nothing but a baggy shirt and basketball shorts, heading towards Colony Island on bare feet. She hadn't woken Niko when she ran out, but she was sure he was awake now after slamming the door behind her. Janie was probably awake too.

She scanned the area for the van but couldn't find it anywhere. What if they were gone and got away with that woman?

She was in Hove Beach now, cast in its darkness. She scanned the area and found the van parked in front of a burned up apartment complex. The van began to rock and Lily suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She could hear motorcycles in the distance rapidly approaching the area. She prayed to the god that didn't exist that they would make it in time.

She picked up a glass bottle at her feet and sent it sailing towards the van. It hit the taillight and shattered into pieces. Lily quickly ducked into an alley, hoping they wouldn't see her. Two men jumped out of the van and began to look around. Lily held her breath as footsteps slowly came her way.

The bikers were getting closer now.

"Come on out. We know you're here," one of the men said.

Lily clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle her heavy breathing and slid down behind a dumpster. The loud engines of the motorcycles became deafening as they arrived onto the scene. She was too afraid to leave her hiding place to see how many were there, but she would guess there were at least ten.

"Shit," the man said.

"Open the fucking door!" a rough male voice barked. It didn't sound like Johnny, as far as she could tell.

She looked out from her hiding spot and saw that the Lost had the van surrounded. Two of the members threw open the back doors. One pulled out a kidnapper and the other helped the woman out of the van.

"Ah shit, it's Ashley! Man, are you fuckers in for it," a biker said.

The three men kept their hands up as the Lost MC surrounded them. Not wanting to witness a bloodbath, Lily quietly slipped out of the alley and down the street leading back to her house where Niko and Janie were waiting up for her.

* * *

Johnny, Clay, and Terry arrived at Colony Island thirty minutes after Lily's phone call. The van had been trashed and the three men that owned the had been badly beaten and tied up.

Greg Jones, the new president of the Broker chapter was leaning against the van when Johnny pulled up. Greg Jones slightly shorter than Johnny and slimmer. His looks reminded Johnny of a younger Billy Grey before his addiction took control before shit became fucked up. At least Jones seemed to have a decent head on his shoulders.

Some of the former Alderney members had joined Jones' chapter, still believing Johnny sold out Billy. He recognized them all as they watched Johnny with suspicious eyes. He heard Clay mutter that they were disloyal piss lickers.

"Johnny Klebitz," Jones greeted.

"So what have we got?" Johnny asked.

Jones pointed at the three men lined up on the curb. "Your informant was right, it was one of our women, but you ain't gonna like who it is."

Johnny had a bad feeling as to who it was, but he kept telling himself that it wasn't possible. His hopes were quickly dashed out when he saw Ashley huddled up on the curb. His heart dropped at the sight of her. Her hair was a mess, her make-up smudged, and her bloodshot eyes showed that she hadn't slept in God knows how long. She had certainly seen better days.

"Ashley?" He said softly. He knelt down beside her and her lips formed a tiny smile. "Ashley, are you alright?"

She gave a nod. "I'm fine. The bastard tried to force himself on me, but The Lost showed up in time. Can you take me home?"

He ran a hand over his head. It was probably a bad idea, but he couldn't just leave her there on the side of the road. "Alright, but first, show me which one tried to hurt you."

She pointed to the man in the middle. He was dark haired and wore a navy blue shirt and worn out jeans. Johnny stormed over to the man and grabbed the man by his shirt collar. He hauled the man to his feet. "Why did you target Ashley?" he demanded.

"We weren't targeting her. She just happened to be laying on the street. We weren't gonna kill her or nothin'."

Johnny shoved the man against the burned-out building. "I should bash your fucking skull in, you piece of shit!"

"Johnny, please, let's just go home. I'm coming down hard," Ashley begged.

As much as he wanted to make this fucker eat pavement, Johnny agreed, but not before punching the guy so hard that he broke his nose and knocked him unconscious.

"Alright, Ash, let's go. The brothers can take care of these guys."

She followed him to his Hexer on and hopped on the back. Her head was spinning again. She really needed sleep. Ashley leaned against Johnny for support. He didn't say anything, much to her surprise, and they left Colony Island far behind them.

It felt like it did when they were younger. When they went on rides and she wished they would stop. She wanted desperately for them to leave the east coast and go west. They were better than this. She had told him so once before. Better than the addictions, better than the Lost, better than Alderney.

She was feeling lightheaded again and worried she'd drift off and smack asphalt, so she tried starting up a conversation with Johnny.

"So, uh, you're having a kid, I heard?" Ashley said as the bike climbed the ramp to the Algonquin Bridge.

"How did you hear about that?"

"Clay and Terry!" She shouted over the roar of the bike and strong gust of wind.

"It's true, but please don't go shouting it to the world!"

"Are you… ashamed?"

"No, I'm not, I don't want Jessie getting hurt, okay?"

"Yeah, I get it," Ashley replied. Maybe he cared more than she thought. "Are you happy?"

"I guess so."

"Sounds like doubt!"

He didn't say anything to that and rest of the ride home was silent. Ashley felt sick at the thought of him loving someone else and that baby permanently sealed him to Jessie. Even if he and Jessie broke up, he would always be bound to her until the kid turned of age. Which meant if she and Johnny got back together, she would have to put up with his "baby mama drama".

They finally made it to her apartment and she couldn't have been happier. He helped her inside and guided her to her bedroom. She had held out long enough so she didn't fall off the bike, but now she was crashing hard and her mind became muddled again. Johnny gently laid her down on the bed where she immediately fell asleep.

All he could do was shake his head. She was a mess, but he couldn't deny that he missed her and the way she used to be. He had to keep reminding himself that she was never going to change, no matter how badly he wished she would. He turned off her bedroom light and left her there to wallow in her misery.

* * *

Lily had put the incident with the van behind her. Days had passed and she began to relax once more, especially when Jessie called to inform her that the woman was safe and the kidnappers had been dealt with by the Lost. Lily could only imagine what that meant, but she had a feeling there were three more bodies floating in the river.

It was early in the morning, the street lights were still burning amber, but the sky was slowly turning blue. Her alarm didn't go off that morning, making her late for work. When she finally ran out the door to her car, he was sitting on the hood of her Blista.

She almost screamed when she saw him "Johnny! Don't scare me like that!" Lily said, irritated.

Johnny slid off the hood of her car and approached her. From day one, she found him a little frightening, but Jessie always tried to reassure her, that he was harmless.

"Sorry, about that. Listen, Jessie told me you were the one that witnessed Ashley being taken."

"Yeah, I saw her Lost MC jacket and thought you had the right to know."

"Well, you have my thanks for that. Ashley isn't the brightest, especially right now, but she doesn't deserve  _that_. So, to show my gratitude, you get one favor from me and the brothers. You don't have to use it now, you can think about it and then call me when you need me. Here," he reached into his jacket and pulled out a card with his name and number written on it. "Remember, you only get one favor, so use it wisely. The Lost ain't heroes, but we always repay our debts."

"Um… thanks. You know, you're not so bad."

"I'll take that as a compliment. I guess I better be going."

"Yeah, see you."

As he rode away, she added his number to her phone. She didn't think she would ever need it, but she figured it wouldn't hurt. Maybe she could use it if Calvin tried to contact Janie again, but that was unlikely because Niko had really put fear into him. She slipped her phone back into her purse and went to work as usual.

Despite being late for work, her day went as usual. She picked up passengers, stopped for gas, stopped for coffee. She wanted to go back to the depot for lunch, but she was in Alderney and wouldn't make it back in time, so she had gas station food for lunch. It wasn't something she'd typically eat, but it was cheap and filled her up.

Shortly after lunch, Alderney became busy once again.

Great…

Lily could never do crowded roads as they made her anxious. She had found herself at the Burger Shot when a man flagged her down. She hit the brakes a little too hard, sending her forward in her seat. Oh well, Niko sometimes did the same.

"Where to?" Lily asked as the man got inside.

"Star Junction," he replied in an Eastern European accent.

"You got it," she said in her forced, cheerful voice.

The ride was mostly had in silence. Occasionally, her eyes drifted to the rear-view mirror, catching glimpses of his features. Once someone got passed the broken nose, the man was sort of handsome with blonde hair and sharp features. His eyes were brown with a coldness to them that made her uneasy. He had a U-shape scar that started from his brow and came down passed his cheekbone. It looked as if someone had rammed their boot into his face, causing serious damage. Whatever happened, it was a miracle he survived at all.

He noticed her staring and glared. She never liked eye to eye contact, much less when someone was trying to be intimidating. She quickly averted her gaze to the road ahead. Maybe if she said something, she could ease the man, but she didn't know what to say exactly.

Curiosity got the better of her and she glanced up once more. This time, he was watching her with a strange look. It was a mix of lustful and angry. At least that's what she thought it looked like.

"What are you?" he asked, snapping her out of her trance.

"What do you mean?"

"You are… exotic. I've never seen someone quite like you before." Then he flashed her a smile. It was meant to be friendly, but it made her uneasy.

There was also that exotic remark that got under her skin. She hated when people referred to her in that way. As if she were some wild animal no one had seen before. "I'm Native American," she finally said as they reached the Hickey Bridge.

His eyes lit up. "Really now? There are not many of you left now, are there? Such a shame."

"There are plenty of us." She was finding it hard to stay polite. "We don't really venture into the city."

"I see. You're too pretty to be a cab driver."

She tightened the grip of her steering wheel and her palms became damp. Her heart was hammering in her chest. "I have a boyfriend!" she blurted out. It was her go-to excuse when a man would flirt with her. It sometimes worked, but she had a feeling it wouldn't here.

"I wouldn't doubt that you do,  _malo kurve._ "

Was that Serbian? Niko had taught her a little, but she wasn't sure.

The road to Star Junction seemed to take forever. The entire ride he watched her like a predator watched his prey, waiting for the right opportunity to strike. She swallowed and kept her focus on the road, but she could feel his eyes as they bore into her.

He pulled out his phone and began speaking in his own language. She never cared if someone didn't speak English, but something about the way he spoke made her uncomfortable.

Finally, they made it to Star Junction. He paid her the money she needed, plus a large tip.

"That is for being so good," he said. "I hope to see you again.  _Ti ćeš biti moj._ "

"Th-thank you," she stuttered. She mentally slapped herself for showing weakness in front of this creep.

As he walked away from the cab, she collected her composer and started the car. She drove past the speed limit, not caring if she were pulled over. The sooner she got back to the garage, the sooner she could clock out and go home. She was done for the day and didn't care if Roman liked it or not.

Men had flirted with her in the past and she could always brush it off, but that man had a vibe to him that made her heart want to leap out of her chest. Talking to him triggered memories of that night those men jumped her.

_Tomorrow will come and I'll forget about the entire incident. I'll never see him again…_

But she would always look back on that day and realize how wrong she was.


	19. Independence Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided that I'm going to break this fic into two parts. Part one is The Night Terror and part two is The Simple Life. There might be a part three, but that's up to you guys. So part one is coming to a close and then I'm guessing the big shift in the story is going to happen sometime between chapters 20-22. Not sure yet, but we'll see.
> 
> I'm sorry the ending is sloppy, but I couldn't think of a good way to end it. Also, I've decided to ship two characters together, if you like the couple, let me know.

Damir finally found her. The exotic beauty he'd wanted for so long was right in front of him and he couldn't have her, at least not yet. He was going to find her though, he didn't care if he had to pick apart Liberty City. He had to have her. He thought of her raven hair and tan skin. It was maddening the way she teased him with that smile, but he got her back. He'd made her squirm. Oh, how he loved watching her squirm.

Darko couldn't understand what he saw in this woman that Damir wanted, but he kept quiet about it and did as he was told. He had spent the last few days trying to find her, but there wasn't any luck. Damir threatened to hold out on heroin if Darko didn't find her in time. He didn't have much to go on except that she was Native American and drove a cab. There were a lot of female cab drivers in the city, more than what Darko thought there would be.

It was only when Damir mentioned the cab was a black Esperanto did Darko have another clue. He had seen the black cabs mainly around Broker but rarely did they venture past Bohan.

He was going through the phone book when he stumbled across a name he didn't think he'd see. There below Ball's Taxi service was Bellic Enterprises. Darko felt a sudden sensation of needles prickling his stomach. He went onto the computer later that day and searched for Bellic Enterprises, hoping that the cab was yellow, but his heart dropped when he saw the black Esperanto and a picture of Roman standing beside one of the cabs. If Damir knew about Roman, then he'd know about Niko and if he knew about Niko, then his old friend would be in trouble.

He couldn't betray his friends again. Niko and Roman had always been there for him growing up, but the withdrawals were gnawing at his mind and soul. He hadn't used in days and he was hurting badly for it. An inner battle fought within him and he hoped this time he had the strength to overpower his addiction.

And that poor girl. Damir wouldn't stop until he had her.

* * *

"I hope this dress is okay," Lily said, looking at herself in the mirror.

It was noon when she was getting ready for Roman and Mallorie's party. Lily couldn't find the right outfit to wear. She tore her closet apart looking for the right clothes, but everything was either too skimpy or too hot. Finally, she settled on a yellow sundress that was tight around her waist. It made her breasts bigger and her hips wider and came down to just above the knees. She normally didn't wear dresses. Growing up as a tomboy, she thought they only got in the way of her outdoor adventures. She wore boys' clothing most of the time and was sometimes picked on for it. The only reason she started dressing more feminine was that Annette thought Lily was becoming too old to behave in a such a way. In a single summer, Lily's wardrobe was cleared of her well-worn clothes, and more feminine ones were replaced. She would never forgive Annette for that and still felt bitterness over it.

"I think the dress looks hot on you," Janie replied.

"Are you sure? I'm so worried."

Janie laughed. "About what?"

Lily looked down at her bare feet. "I don't know. I'm just nervous. I'm meeting more of Niko's friends and I want to make a good impression. I guess it's just my anxiety talking?"

"I thought Niko cured your anxiety?"

Lily scoffed. "A man doesn't cure your mental disorders. Professional help does."

"Yeah well..." Janie's voice trailed. She didn't really believe in mental illnesses. Janie had always believed that people needed to suck it up, but she knew this was a sensitive topic for Lily so she quickly dropped it. "Okay, your dress is fine. Now, what about the shoes?"

"I have some slingbacks?"

"Oh, honey, no," Janie said. "Here, I have some summer wedges." Janie left the room and came back with the shoes. Their colorful sandal pearls went across the front of the ankle.

"They're beautiful!"

Janie smiled. "Aren't they? They were your mother's."

"How did you get them?"

"Well see, thirty-five years ago, ma 'borrowed' your mom's shoes and never gave them back, so I've had them all this time."

Lily carefully took them from her cousin and ran a thumb over them, feeling the bumps and the grassy like material. She felt a lump in her throat at the thought of the mother she never met. She had pictures and old records, but she never had an item of clothing before. As she put them on, she made a silent promise that she would always treasure them.

"Alright," Janie said, interrupting the moment. "Let's do something about that hair."

Niko arrived at her house half an hour later. The moment she stepped out the door, it felt as if his breath had been taken away. It was cliché and cheesy, but it was true for Niko and he couldn't think of a better way to say it. He found it hard to breathe the moment he saw her in that yellow sundress and her hair pulled back in a love knot. She still wore that beaded necklace; it didn't match the dress very well, but he didn't care.

She gave a shy smile and said, "How do I look?"

 _You're beautiful._  "You look good." He wanted to mentally punch himself. Why couldn't he say something better than that? "Um… we should get going."

"Right, we don't want to be late. Just to let you know ahead of time, if I cling, it's because I'm nervous."

He chuckled. "It's alright, I know it can be when meeting new people."

When they arrived, Brucie was already there talking with Roman. Niko would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about Brucie meeting Lily. He could only hope that his friends wouldn't embarrass him. It was bad enough that Roman's eccentric personality could be off-putting at times, but Brucie was something else.

"Nicky!" Brucie shouted, "What's up, man."

"Not much. Um… Brucie, this is Lily Bedard. Lily, this is Brucie Kibbutz" Niko motioned to Lily.  _Brucie, do not say anything stupid!_

"Hi," Lily said shyly.

Brucie had a sly grin on his face. "So, Lily, what grade are you in?"

_Goddamn it, Brucie!_

Lily blinked and looked at Niko in confusion. "I… don't understand."

Brucie laughed while Niko scowled. Suddenly Lily realized he was joking about her and Niko's age gap and felt foolish. Eight years wasn't that bad, was it? After all, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall were twenty-five years apart and they seemed happy together.

"Brucie," Niko said in a warning tone. "She's not that young."

"I'm only teasing, NB. Don't keep her out too late, okay?"

Niko gave an exasperated sigh and looped an arm around her waist. "Come on," he said while pulling her away from Brucie. "I'm sure Mallorie will be glad to see you."

Inside she found Mallorie in the kitchen chopping vegetables and listening to the radio. Mijo was in his highchair babbling while smacking a plastic spoon on his tray. She wanted to approach them but then had this feeling as if she were invading their personal space. She knew it was only her social anxiety creeping into her mind and she tried to push the thoughts away. She really hated social events…

"You can sit down, Lily. We won't bite," Mallorie said.

Lily swallowed and slowly made her way to a stool and took a seat. "Do you need any help?"

Mallorie scraped the freshly chopped tomatoes into the salad and said, "No, I've got it. Really all I need is someone to talk to. As much as I love Mijo, he isn't one for conversation." She giggled and took a package of baby carrots from the fridge. "When you spend most of your days with an infant and… a grown infant, you start to want something a little more stimulating."

The two women talked in the kitchen while the men stayed outside. Lily sometimes found it hard to find a topic she and Mallorie could relate to. She loved to read books, while Mallorie preferred magazines. Lily loved old black and white films and Mallorie liked reality TV. She wondered if they could really have a friendship when they had so little in common, but maybe she wasn't being open-minded enough.

The older woman asked Lily about what she had planned for the future. She had to think about it because she had never really given it much thought. Lily wasn't too sure, but she did know that she wanted Niko to be apart of it.

"What did you want for your future?" Lily asked as she held Mijo. As much as she like the baby, she worried he would make a mess on her new dress.

"I don't know. Growing up poor, you don't get a lot of options. I didn't know where I would end up, but I'm happy where I am now. Roman isn't perfect, but he is a good father."

Lily wondered if Mallorie had confronted Roman yet about his odd behavior, but didn't think it was her place to ask. Maybe later she could talk to Niko about it so he could do something.

She found herself more on edge when three more people arrived. The first was a man named Bernie Crane. A few times, both Roman and Niko would slip up and call him Florian, which frustrated the man. The other two were Little Jacob and Real Badman. Niko had warned her ahead of time that she might not be able to understand them.

Lily excused herself from the kitchen and joined Niko outside as the Rastafarians approached him.

"Wa gwaan, Niko! I see yuh bring yer gal wit you. It 'bout time I and I meet 'er," Jacob said.

Lily caught some of what the Rastafarian was saying, but the moment Badman spoke she had no idea what he had just said. She blinked and looked to Niko for a clue, but Niko simply shrugged. He could understand Jacob somewhat, but Badman was on a completely different level. Lily awkwardly shook both the Jamaicans' hands and gave a shy greeting. They seemed nice so far, but there was something about Badman that made her uneasy. She wasn't sure, but figured she was only overreacting. "It's nice meeting the both of you. Roman and Niko have spoken about you two quite a bit" Lily said.

"Niko never stop talkin' 'bout yuh, as well."

Lily giggled. "Oh really, now?"

Niko tried to play it cool, but he could feel the heat rising in his face. Why did all of his friends decide today would be the day they would embarrass him? "It's not  _that_  often!" Niko protested. "Lily, how about you and I go sit over there." He pointed to the plastic lawn chairs near the privacy fence.

"Alright, I don't want you turning redder than you already are." Lily grinned and took his hand, guiding him to the chairs. He responded with a grunt and followed her. "Oh, don't be such a curmudgeon."

"I don't know what that is."

"And here I thought I would be the one having a bad time. I like your friends already, by the way. I think Little Jacob is my favorite."

"You don't even know what he's saying."

She giggled. "True, but I kind of like the way he talks."

As the evening wore on and the sky was blanked in darkness, Lily finally began to relax. It was almost time for the fireworks to begin and she was still concerned about Niko's well being. Even though he said he would be fine. She would watch him anyway, just in case he wasn't up for this and they could go somewhere quiet.

Roman put on some classic rock that blasted throughout the neighborhood. She could only imagine how many neighbors he was angering at that moment. Alcohol and food were passed around. Halfway through the party, Roman and Brucie had too much alcohol and started making fools of themselves, embarrassing poor Mallorie.

"When my cousin and I were back in the old country, we used to party like this all the time!" Roman shouted over the music.

"Roman, I think you should slow down on the vodka," Niko said, but his voice was drowned out by an Aerosmith song. "Never mind," he muttered.

Someone had pointed out that the fireworks were starting and the music was turned down. A mixture of colors flashed across the sky, temporarily illuminating those down below. As much as Liberty City annoyed Niko, he had to admit it did have an impressive firework display. He looked at Lily who was mesmerized by the pinks, blues, and reds flickering in the sky. One thing he would never become tired of was the look of wonder she sometimes had; even if it were something she'd seen before. She caught him watching her from the corner of her eye and faced him.

The same emotion he felt that day he got to know her better at the office came back to him stronger than before. He used to feel that once with Kate. It didn't take him long to fall for her. Was he falling for Lily? He liked her a lot and cared deeply for her. The thought of losing her forever was too much to bear, but he was afraid to say he loved her. Last time he admitted it to himself that he loved someone he lost her. Lily was his second chance and he couldn't ruin that.

"You alright there?" Lily asked. "Is it the fireworks?"

"What? Oh, no, it's not that. I was only thinking. Don't worry about it."

Her soft hand entwined his rough one and she moved closer to him. She felt his hesitation, knowing that all of his friends were around, but much to her surprise, Niko relaxed. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting go of her hand and wrapping an arm around her waist. He looked around to make sure no one was paying attention before encouraging her to lay against him. She pressed herself against him and laid her head on his shoulder. Physical affection would always be a foreign concept to him, but he figured he could get used to it for her.

"How does your family feel about you being here?" Niko asked.

"They were disappointed that I didn't come to the ranch for Fourth of July, but they're going to have to get over it. Every time a holiday comes up, they throw a fit until I come visit."

"It's good to spend time with your family, though."

"That is true. I do love my family, but they can be so overbearing at times. They're the type that wants to control every moment of my life and my poor cousin is barely acknowledged by them for being half and then they act surprised when she won't associate with them. My father isn't so bad. He's more accepting of what I do with my life than the rest of them are. Still, I know he doesn't like me." She said the last sentence quietly and looked down at the ground.

"Why do you think that?"

"When I was twelve, I came home from school early and started looking for my birth certificate. Instead, I found my step mom's old journals and decided to look through them. I know it was wrong of me but I was really curious. I found entries from when she started dating my dad and when I came across the day they were married she wrote down that my dad had confided in her that he resented me. She said his confession almost made her cancel the wedding."

"It's been years since he said that. It doesn't mean he holds that belief now," he pointed out.

"Maybe… I don't know. Hey, that's depressing. We're here to have fun, right?" She forced a smile.

"Yes, we are."

She laid her head back on his shoulder and this time he wasn't afraid of anyone seeing.

As the party continued well into the night, Lily noticed that Mallorie was nowhere to be seen. She couldn't remember the last time she saw her and hoped her friend was okay.

"Niko," she whispered. "have you noticed that Mallorie's hardly interacted with anyone? She's been completely withdrawn and that's saying a lot coming from me."

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen her since Roman put on music. Maybe the music woke up Mijo and she went to put him back to bed. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Mallorie is pretty strong-willed," Niko replied.

Lily sighed and looked up at the fireworks. "Yeah, I guess you're right."  _Still, something is wrong._

When an hour had passed and she still hadn't seen Mallorie, Lily decided to go look for her. Excusing herself, she walked back inside and quietly made her way down the hall as to not wake Mijo. As she made it to the bathroom, she heard two male voices and paused. They were faint, but she recognized Brucie's voice. She carefully pushed open the bathroom door and whispered to Mallorie as walked in.

The voices were coming from the bathroom window. Lily crept closer and continued to listen.

"This is just like Bryce all over again!" That was Bernie! "Why do I always fall for macho men stuck in the closet?"

"Look, I'll come out in time. This isn't easy for me. I got a rep as a player and I don't know what's going to happen when I come out," Brucie said.

Bernie scoffed. "Oh please, it's 2009, people are  _far_  more progressive today than they were in the past."

Lily stood on her tip-toes and peeked out the small window. Brucie was holding Bernie close and Bernie looked as if he was about to cry.

"You know you're important to me, right? I think I love you more than working out and we all know how much Brucie loves to work out."

Bernie laughed. "I suppose I'll just have to patient with you, but please do me a favor and cut back on the bull-shark testosterone?"

"You're asking for a lot," Brucie replied. He dipped down and kissed Bernie softly on the forehead, making the Slavic man giggle.

Lily's mouth flew open at what she had just witnessed. She lowered herself from the window and tried to stifle a giggle. Brucie and Bernie? She couldn't believe it! All her life she had supported gay rights and would support those two all the way; it was just odd that they were together. They were so… different! Well as long as they were happy it didn't matter. She wondered if Niko knew.

She turned away from the window and walked out of the bathroom, almost running into Mallorie on her way out. The Puerto Rican woman looked as surprised as Lily. She thought about telling Mallorie about she had witnessed outside the window but decided against it. Mallorie was too much of a gossip to trust with this information.

"Lily, what are you doing?" Mallorie asked.

"Oh, um, I was washing my hands and then I saw… a tree frog on the window."

Mallorie walked past her to the window and shut it. The well-lit bathroom revealed Mallorie had been crying. Lily wanted to ask her what was wrong, but she already knew that Roman probably had something to do with it. She was going to have to talk to Niko about it.

"It's not there now. I guess I should join you guys back outside, shouldn't I?"

"You look tired. Maybe you should go to bed?"

Mallorie gave a nod. "Yes, I think I will do that." She turned walked out of the bathroom and slowly made her way down the hall to her bedroom. "Goodnight," she muttered before disappearing into her room.

_Maybe she has baby blues. Yasmine had it bad when my niece was born._

She left the bathroom and went back outside where Niko was waiting for her. Something was defiantly wrong with Mallorie, but Lily didn't know what to do for her.

* * *

Niko and Lily walked up the Bohan apartment as they carried Styrofoam plates full of chicken and hamburgers in their hands. Lily had never actually spent a lot of time in Bohan and she was thankful for that. She heard multiple gunshots within the first five minutes they were there. Niko kept telling her not to worry; that it was something that happened quite often in this area. As if that was something that was reassuring. Janie was always warning her that Bohan and Alderney were the worst places to be stuck in at night. She guessed that Janie had forgotten that she was attacked in Broker back in February or that a woman was kidnapped in their neighborhood just two weeks ago.

She felt bad for this kid they were visiting. According to Niko, he was an orphan that used to steal for his meals and clothes. Niko decided to give the kid a place to stay after his father died from cancer. It made Lily admire Niko all the more. It was all the proof she needed that he had a kind heart.

Niko knocked on the door and waited patiently as the boy unlatched the multiple locks on the door. Eric slowly opened the door and had a look of relief when he saw it was Niko. He opened the door wider and allowed them inside. They stepped in and Lily took in her surroundings. The apartment was kept clean, but it still didn't hide the dinginess of it. The wallpaper was peeling, there were water stains on the ceiling, and the blue carpet had a large, sticky stain. It reminded her of Amber and Jessie's old house.

"How are things?" Niko asked Eric.

The boy was folding the bed on the couch so they could sit when he answered, "Things are alright I guess. Everything has been… quiet."

"Good." Niko placed a hand on Lily's shoulder. "Eric, this is Lily."

Eric tried to keep his focus on her face, but being an adolescent boy, he found his eyes drifting down to her chest. "Wow! You're really hot!" He commented bluntly. As soon as he said it, his face reddened. Lily's own face was growing hot and Niko instantly regretted this meeting.

"Um… th-thank you," she stammered.

Niko gave an exasperated sigh. "Eric, control yourself."

Eric shrugged and finished placing the cushions back on the couch. "Sorry, man, I was only telling the truth."

"There's the truth and then there's making someone uncomfortable," Niko explained.

"Alright, man." He turned to Lily. "Sorry."

She smiled. "It's alright." She then extended the plate out to the boy. "Here, we brought you something to eat."

The kid's eyes lit up at the sight of actual food. Although Niko gave the boy enough money to buy him something to eat, Eric mostly spent his allowance on ramen and hot sauce. Niko couldn't understand why this kid didn't spend the money on better food.

"You brought me all of this?" Eric asked.

"It is all yours," Niko replied.

They sat on the couch and watched as Eric stuffed himself. He filled Niko in with the latest gossip around Bohan, choosing his words carefully around Lily so she wouldn't know of Niko's vigilantism. Niko planned to tell her in time. She had been accepting of his past, at least the bits he told her, but she was would probably ask him to stop and he wasn't ready to stop. Not until he felt that he made up for all the sins he committed in his past.

They didn't stay for very long. Lily was tired and Eric seemed fidgety and nervous. As they were leaving, Erik grabbed Niko's arm to stop him.

"Hey, can we talk in private?" Eric asked.

Niko hesitated. He didn't want to leave Lily by herself in this area, but she told him she wasn't afraid and that she would stay just outside the door. Reluctantly, Niko agreed and she slipped out.

"What's so important?" Niko asked with agitation.

Eric grabbed a laptop off the counter. Niko wondered where the boy got it from but decided not to question it.

"Okay, so you know that Night Terror guy?" Eric said as his rapidly typed into the search engine.

"Yes, you think he's the one who snatched up that girl months ago."

"Yeah, well someone uploaded this voice message from 2002. This was found Mackenzie Heder's phone when her body was found. They believe Mackenzie was his first victim. Anyways, here take a listen to this..."

Eric turned up the volume on his computer and pushed play. The audio clip started with a man's heavy, ragged breathing then the man spoke:  _"I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you, bitch._ _Bitch… bitch..._ _You fucking whore."_  Followed by more breathing, then the call ended.

Something about that voice made Niko uneasy. Even though the caller was trying to mask his voice, there was something familiar about it, but he couldn't think as to whose voice that was. Maybe he could look up the voice recording later have Roman take a listen.

"Shit man, I couldn't sleep after hearing that. They sound Russian, don't you think?" Eric said.

"Eastern European," Niko corrected. "And yes, he does. Thank you for showing me this. I'll have to take another listen later on."

Eric gave a nod and closed his laptop. "Yeah, I thought you'd want to hear that. Does it give you anything to go on?"

"It gives me something. Thanks, kid. I'll see you around."

With that, Niko left the apartment and joined Lily in the hallway. The ride back to Niko's apartment was in silence. Normally, they could talk about anything, but that night, Lily noticed something was troubling Niko. She didn't know what that kid had said, but whatever it was it must have been bad. She didn't say anything, though. She knew how much Niko hated to be questioned.

When they got the North Holland apartment, they were both too tired for sex and went straight to bed. Lily fell asleep quickly in his arms, but Niko had more difficulty. He couldn't stop playing that recording in his head. Why did that voice sound so familiar? He could hear the anger and hatred and it filled his heart with dread. He would have to call Jessie in the morning to tell her of this voice message if she didn't already know of it.

He tried piecing together all the evidence in his mind. The gray Stallion, two Eastern European men, one dark haired, the other blonde, young prostitutes for practice, girls with families who would miss them as the main target. The blonde was taller and bullied the darker haired one. Why did that seem so familiar?

A faint memory stirred deep in his mind. He didn't know why, but he thought of Jelena Peric at that moment. Something about that voice connected with her. Next, to Roman, she was his best friend. She loved him and he knew it, but he didn't love her. He wanted to, he tried to, but couldn't. He thought maybe when he came home from the war they could settle down. Even if he didn't love her, he still cared deeply for her. She was also familiar and they had taken each others' virginity, but then while he was away fighting in the war he got word she had been killed. Her death deepened the hole in his heart.

What an odd time to think of her.

He smoothed out Lily's raven hair, noting how soft it was. Her sweet scent soothed him a little. He lost Jelena and Kate, but he still had Lily and she took the pain away. The sooner he dealt with this so-called Night Terror, the sooner he could relax and truly begin a life with Lily.

* * *

Lily had awoken early the next morning to find Niko wasn't there. In her half-asleep daze, she worried something had happened until she heard movement in the kitchen. She sat up and yawned before running her fingers through her long, tangled hair. She shuffled into the bathroom and freshened up for the day.

She came out an hour later with a towel wrapped around her body and hair to find Niko in the kitchen. He was checking his email while French toast cooked in the skillet. The aroma made her stomach roll over and beg for the meal. Niko looked up from his computer at the sound of her stomach, making her feel embarrassed.

"Hungry?" he asked as she made her way into the kitchen.

She gave a sheepish grin. "A little… maybe a lot."

He slid off the stool and tended to his breakfast. "How many?"

"Just one," she replied.

He took three off the pan and placed them on a plate for her. She had a large appetite, he knew it even though she tried to hide it.

"Thanks," she said with a smile.

Their breakfast was had in silence which was fine with her. Niko was distracted again, this time on his laptop looking up information on The Night Terror. She thought it was an odd thing to Eye Find so early in the morning, but she herself would look up strange things. At least he had the decency to not look at the victims or the crime scenes while they ate.

Once she finished, Lily went back into the bedroom and began to towel off her hair. Her black hair tumbled out of the towel and cascaded down her shoulders. Because her hair was so long, it took a lot of shampoo and conditioner, but she swore a long time ago she'd never cut it except for a small trim when needed. She was proud of her hair. It was a symbol of her femininity and apart of her Native beliefs.

She brushed out her hair and dressed for the day. When she came back into the kitchen, he was still on his laptop reading articles on the Night Terror. She thought it was odd that he'd spend this much time on the computer. Normally he was on it long enough to check his emails. This wasn't like him.

She lowered the strap to her tank-top and placed a hand on his shoulder. He flinched at her touch and faced her. He blinked out of his trance and stared at her in confusion.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You're distracted again," she replied.

"Sorry, I was… looking into something."

"Like serial killers? I used to have an obsession with them in high school."

"This is more out of curiosity."

She let her strap fall a little more. "You know, we fell asleep before we could start anything last night," she said with a grin.

He rolled his eyes. "I think I've corrupted you. Where did that innocent girl go?"

"Woman," she corrected. "I'm a woman and I can still be innocent and have a healthy sexual appetite."

He chuckled lightly. "Sounds like an addiction to me. Should I check you into rehab?"

She gave him a playful nudge. "Oh, haha, very funny. You know when you're not being a pessimist, you can make a great comedian." She suddenly remembered what happened the night before and wanted to talk to Niko about it. "Niko, is Brucie gay?"

Niko laughed. "You go from wanting sex to wanting to know about my friend's sexual orientation? Do you have what they call… ADD?"

"Actually, I have ADHD, but that's not the point. Last night at the party, I caught Brucie and Bernie making out."

Niko raised a brow and studied her face for deception, but found she was telling the truth. The info was certainly surprising, although, when he looked back on it, maybe it wasn't too surprising. "Are you sure?"

Lily nodded. "Yes! I know what I saw. I mean it was dark, but Brucie's voice isn't exactly hard to miss. Neither is Bernie's."

Niko gave a shrug. "Well, then I guess Brucie is gay. If Brucie and Bernie are happy, then I'm happy for them." With that, he turned his attention back to his computer.

_That went differently than I thought it would. I'm glad Niko is accepting of his friends, though._

When she tried enticing him again and it failed, she huffed and plopped onto the couch. She reached for her controller and began to play video games while Niko continued looking into the Night Terror.

He didn't mean to ignore her. Everything he was doing was for her and every other woman in this city. He couldn't save Kate, but he still had a chance to save them. He was going to find that scum bag and make him pay for the evil he had committed. By the time Niko was finished torturing The Night Terror, he would be begging for Niko to kill him.

He tried ignoring Lily's noisy gameplay, but after an hour of gunfire on the TV followed by Lily shouting obscenities into her headset, he gave up on his research. She was playing something called  _Righteous Slaughter_ _3_  and it didn't look like she was on the winning end. He never got how she could sit there for hours and play games. They couldn't possibly be fun if you were dying all the time and insulting everyone you played with.

"Who the hell are you calling a hermaphrodite, you no job having asshole!… At least I'm not a virgin! Why don't you go jerk off and cry some more? It must suck living in Vinewood, being surrounded by hot women, and not being able to sleep with them…. Oh yeah? Well, screw you, too!" She yanked off the headset and shut off the console. "They're all idiots!" she growled.

Niko laughed. "Why don't we go out and do something? Your shouting has probably upset the elderly neighbors."

Lily rose from the couch and stretched. "Yeah, I guess you're right. So, what do you want to do?"

"Whatever you want to do."

"How about… bowling?" she suggested while slipping on her sandals.

"Alright, we'll go bowling. It's not as if I have never done  _that_  before."


	20. Surprise Visit

"Do yourself a favor and don't get pregnant," Jessie said one evening.

Lily laughed nervously and ran her fingers through her hair. "Don't worry about me, I've been on the pill for months now. Besides I don't plan on having any kids until I'm twenty-five."

Jessie rubbed her bulging stomach and winched as the baby kicked her. The kicks were getting stronger now, much to Jessie's disliking. She was told girls were more active than boys, but she wasn't sure how true that was. During her last doctor's visit, they tried to figure out the sex of the baby, but it kept hiding itself. It didn't matter she figured as long as the kid was healthy, she didn't care what she had, but as soon as this little brat was out of her, she was getting her tubes tied.

"That's only two years away. You sure you want that so soon? I mean twenty-five is a bit young to be having a baby don't you think?" Jessie questioned.

"Well, I don't know. I never exactly had a plan for this kind of thing. I always believed that if it happened, it happened."

Jessie shook her head and laughed. "Oh man, good luck with that."

For a moment, Lily wondered what it would be like feel for a life move within her. Her heart raced at the thought and her stomach fluttered. She thought about her own baby and who it would look like. Would her child be sensitive like her or more stoic like Niko?

 _Calm down there!_  She told herself.  _Having a baby isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Stick_ _to_ _your plan. Over twenty-five._

"Are you excited?" Lily asked.

"A little. I think Johnny is too, but he'll never admit it. As much as I love this jellybean, I'm getting fixed."

"Is that what you really want?"

Jessie nodded. "I do  _not_  want to be doing this again. Could you help me up?"

Lily stood up first and took Jessie by the hand. She was heavier than Lily thought, but she'd never say that. She valued her life. Jessie shifted closer to the edge while Lily pulled. Jessie lifted off the couch, but lost her footing and fell back on the couch. The two women laughed and tried again. This time they were more successful getting Jessie to her feet, which were starting to swell. She straightened her back and winched as a sharp pain shot down her back.

"Like I said, don't get pregnant. Stick to the cat that you have," Jessie said.

Lily followed a waddling Jessie to the backyard. It was littered with old scrap metal that Johnny had yet to remove. To the west of the property were the remains of a doghouse and a rusted out chain attached to it. An old shed wasn't far from the doghouse. There wasn't a door and Lily could see the motorcycles parked inside. The backyard was a nightmare. Jessie wasn't sure if she was going to get the yard ready in time.

"This place is a mess and I'm far from done," Jessie said. She gave a weary sigh and guided her friend through the yard. "Lily, I asked you to come here today, because I want to make you an offer."

Lily raised a brow. "An offer?"

"Yes, I would like for you to join the Steel Roses."

Lily faced Jessie, not sure if she heard her friend right. "You want me to join your club? Me who can't fight, me who can't ride a motorcycle, the same person who can't use a weapon? What use am I to you?" She began to laugh. This had to be a joke, right? But seeing the look on her friend's face told her otherwise. "Oh, you're serious!"

"You're goddamn right I'm serious! Lily, being a Steel Rose is more than motorcycles and illegal gang activity or whatever it is you think I do. It's about sisterhood and looking out for your fellow woman."

"But what if my fellow woman is a bitch?"

This time Jessie laughed. "Well, then you punch her in the face. So would you like to join us?"

"As much as I appreciate the offer, I'm going to have to decline."

Jessie grinned. "I figured you would, but I thought I'd lay it out there. If you ever change your mind, just call me."

"I will. So how far along are you now?" Lily asked as they made their way to the front yard.

"Thirty-three weeks and I'm in my third trimester," Jessie replied while placing her hand on her stomach. "You wanna feel?"

Lily nodded and carefully placed her hand on Jessie's pregnant belly. Nothing happened at first, then suddenly something pushed against her hand. She almost jumped in surprise but relaxed when another hard lump moved under Jessie's skin. It was a strange sensation. When her sister in law was pregnant, Yasmine refused to allow anyone but Trigg to touch her stomach.

"That's amazing," Lily said when she removed her hand.

Jessie giggled. "Isn't it? Poor Johnny freaked out the first time it happened."

"What does it feel like on the inside?"

"Like I swallowed a puppy with ADD. Come on, I'll show you what I've done with the baby's room so far."

She followed Jessie back inside and down the short dark hallway. Jessie opened the door to the baby's room. So far, the crib was put together, they had a small dresser with little-stuffed animals on top, and new carpet was laid down. The walls, however, still needed to be painted and there were unopened boxes stacked in a corner.

"Looks good so far," Lily commented.

"Oh, you're just being nice. Now, you're coming to my baby shower, right?"

"Of course! Will Amber be there?"

Jessie frowned and looked down at her stomach. "No, she said she can't be here because she's too busy. She hasn't exactly been supportive during my pregnancy."

"I'm sorry, she's become really bitter in the last five years. She continues to believe that I abandoned her when really I just became too busy with my own life."

"Lily, you have to understand that she isn't what she used to be. She's always posting something borderline racist on LifeInvader."

Lily shook her head. "I thought she was better than that..." She felt her heart sink at that moment. Amber had been her best friend since middle school, she couldn't imagine that sweet innocent girl growing up to be a bitter woman.

"Well, you thought wrong, kid." Jessie didn't want to dwell on her lost cause of a sister any longer. "You wanna beer before Johnny drinks them all?"

"Yeah, sure. I could use one."

She followed Jessie into the kitchen where they continue to talk about the old days and gossip about the people they once knew. Meanwhile, Johnny was in North Holland, visiting an old friend who had a very peculiar business proposal…

* * *

"As much as I want to a fresh start, I can't see myself in San Andreas," Johnny said while picking at the label on his beer.

Malc called Johnny that afternoon asking him to come over, claiming he had a deal to offer him. Because Johnny was in desperate need of money, he figured it wouldn't hurt to see what Malc had to say.

Malc was sitting on the other side of the room in his chair, working on his third beer. "Look, I know you got a kid on the way and a baby mama to think about, but Johnny, this is a good business opportunity. Think about it, man, it's a chance to start fresh. No more stigma of Billy Grey, no more disloyal brothers callin' you a snitch. You can leave all that behind. Give your old lady and kid a whatever they want."

"And what was this guy's name?"

"Trevor Philips. Dude's a bit crazy, but he's a good businessman. You don't have to decide right now. Just give it some thought. I know you need money, so don't act like you don't. All you'll be doing is gun running and drug smuggling for him."

Johnny looked down at his beer, not sure what to say. He couldn't deny that this was a good business opportunity, but he knew Jessie would never agree to it. She was president of her own MC and wouldn't dream of stepping down just move far away from everything she's known and worked hard for. Maybe if he brought up the well-being of their child, he could convince her. Even if he could get her to move, he still wasn't sure about himself. This didn't seem right and for all he knew, this Trevor guy could end up betraying them. He would really have to think about this.

"I'll have to think this over and talk to Jessie and the brothers about it," Johnny said.

"Alright, man, the choice is yours."

Johnny finished off his beer and rose from the couch. He wanted to leave this depressing place and get back to Jessie.

As he reached for the door handle, Malc spoke up. "Hey, listen, man, you might want to keep your girl on a lease."

Johnny turned to face Malc. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Jessie is getting out of control. I don't care that she hit the A.o.D. like a freight train, hell, I think it's funny, but they're pissed. I'm also losin' bitches to her club. She's gonna end up on the wrong end of a gun barrel if she don't slow down."

As much as Johnny hated to admit it, Malc was right. Not even pregnancy had calmed her down. She was currently planning on taking over Honkers, claiming that she could liberate the strippers and recruit them for her MC. He was going to have to do something about her and fast.

"I'll talk with her," Johnny said.

He left Malc's apartment feeling a sense of dread for something bad to come. As Johnny rode for home, he told himself for the hundredth time that his and Jessie's lives were too fucked up to bring a child into it. It was selfish of them to do so, but now it was too late.

Maybe if they did move to the west coast, they could truly start over and no one would have to get hurt.

* * *

The voicemail ended and Roman took out his earbuds. He sat there a moment, trying to think of where he heard the voice before. He left his old life behind and pushed away from the memories of almost everyone that they knew in the village. There was no point in dwelling on the past when he had a better life here in America.

"Sorry, cousin, I can't think of who that might be. It sounds like they're trying to hide their accent though," Roman said.

Frustrated, Niko stuffed his phone back into his pocket. The night before, Lily had shown him how to save audio files onto his phone. He worried she would find it odd that he wanted that creepy voicemail, but she shrugged it off, much to his relief.

"It's alright," he replied as he sunk into the couch.

"Hey, don't feel too bad. I do think you need to be careful looking for this guy, though. He sounds very dangerous and he might catch on to you looking for him," his cousin warned.

Niko sighed. "I'll be fine, cousin, I swear."

"Why are you doing this? I mean, does it really matter to you what this Night Terror is doing?"

"Yes, actually, it does! Do you really feel safe knowing that a man is hunting women down like prey? Think about Mallorie for a moment; do you want something to happen to her?"

Roman frowned. "Of course not!"

"Then don't worry about me. I am fine, Roman. I will deal with this man swiftly and then we can all relax."

"The thought of you relaxing and enjoying life is a strange one."

Niko scoffed and finished off his second glass of vodka. He took the bottle and poured himself a third. Lately, he wasn't into drinking alcohol, but tonight, he'd make an exception. He couldn't get The Night Terror off of his mind and found the more evidence he collected, the more questions he had.

This investigation was giving him a headache.

He quickly finished off the third glass and poured another. He was drinking too much at once, but he didn't really care.

"I think you should slow down," Roman said.

Niko wanted to avoid another lecture. "I have to leave," he said before abruptly standing up. "I'll see you at the office tomorrow."

An hour later, Niko found himself in Hove Beach, roaming the streets. The Night Terror would most likely be in this area. The streets were deserted that night, though it wasn't uncommon for them. Hove Beach wasn't exactly the safest place to be, especially if you were not Eastern European.

He stuck to the shadows, bat in hand, as he prowled Tulsa Street. He stopped at the sight of two women leaving Perestroika. He quickly ducked behind the alley and watched. Both women were brunettes, both were well dressed in expensive clothes. Most likely from well to do families who would certainly miss their daughter if something happened to her. The type of person The Night Terror went after.

The girls appeared to be tipsy; clinging to each for support, giggling and laughing as they made their way down the street. Niko looked around and didn't see anyone else nor did he see any nearby cabs. Gripping the bat, he followed behind the women at a safe distance. By the time they made it to the end of the block, a dark gray Cavalcade with the Bellic Enterprises logo on the side appeared around the corner. One of the women called out to the taxi and it slowed. He was close enough to hear that the cab driver was Mohammad. He felt sorry for those girls having to put to but with that asshole, but he was relieved that they were safe now.

He turned and made his way back to Perestroika where he could keep a lookout for any more suspicious activities. There was something about the night air that had him on edge. Something wasn't right, but he was determined to find out exactly what it was.

A blood-curdling scream sliced through the air. Niko began to look around. The way sound bounced off the buildings made it hard to pinpoint where the screams were coming from. Another cry for help rang out, this time it sounded as if it came from Cisco Street.

He cut through alleyways and backyards, trying to get to whoever was in danger. The cries were becoming weaker the closer he got. Finally, he found the source of the screams

Twenty feet from him were two men holding down a young woman. She begged for one of the men to stop, but as one held her arms in place, the other lifted a blood-stained knife high into the air before plunging it into her chest. Soon her screams faded into pitiful whimpers as she began to lose strength. Niko raised the bat and charged forward. As he got closer, he caught a glimpse of blonde hair on the man stabbing the woman.

The Night Terror! It had to be him!

The Night Terror looked up in time to see Niko charging at him and jumped off the girl. Niko swung and missed. The Night Terror's accomplice, however, hadn't moved fast enough. He stood to run, but Niko's bat caught him in the ribs and twice in the arm. Niko felt satisfaction at the sickening crunch of bone. The man fell to the ground, writhing in agony. Niko pinned him to the ground, putting enough weight on the man's broken arm and ribs to make him scream.

"Who are you?" Niko demanded.

"Your… your brother in arms," the man groaned.

Niko's heart hammered in his chest and his blood ran cold. It couldn't be… "Darko?  _Zašto ovo radiš?_ "

Darko tried to reply, but the pain in his arm and ribs was too much. Not even a fist to the face could make him talk.

" _Odgovori mi, seronjo!"_  Niko snarled as delivered another blow to Darko's face.

" _On je opasan..."_ Darko rasped.

Before Niko could ask another question, he felt a sharp pain in the back of his neck and fell to the side. His vision was fading and there was ringing in his ears. Boots came into his blurred vision. His assailant knelt down beside him, laughing as Niko struggled to lift his head. He couldn't see the man's face. The only identifiable part of him was his blonde hair.

"Hello, Niko, I see you've witnessed my work. Isn't it lovely? So delicate, so beautiful. A pure little soul snuffed out by my hands. I couldn't be more proud," the accented voice said. Why did he sound so familiar? "Too bad you couldn't save her," he hissed. "You failed that girl. Just. Like.  _Josef_. Some big brother you were." The Night Terror gave a maniacal laugh before standing back up.

Niko watched as the boots walked away, dragging an injured Darko along with him. His mind was spinning, making it hard for him to stay awake. For a moment he forgotten there was a dead girl not far from him. He laid his head on the cool pavement as his eyes slid closed. Rest was what he needed. Then maybe he could wake up from this nightmare.

He didn't know how long he'd lain there, but he opened his eyes, he could hear soft crying. Despite the sharp pain in his neck and the dizziness he felt, Niko managed to sit up. He looked to his right and saw the girl was staring at him with frightened eyes.

"Help me," she pleaded.

Niko made his way to her side. She was young, probably no older than eighteen, with light brown hair and green eyes that reminded him of Kate's. She wore a halter top and jeans. Not far from her, the continents of her purse had been spilled out onto the ground.

"What is your name?" he asked while he reached for his phone.

"Megan," she rasped.

"How did this happen?"

Megan swallowed and looked up at the sky. "I snuck out of the house. I was going to meet up with my friends and that's when those guys jumped me. All I wanted was to have some fun. Will my mom ground me?"

Niko shook his head. "Don't worry about that right now. Just rest, but don't close your eyes." He dialed 911 and asked for an ambulance to come to Cisco Street. He stayed with the girl until help arrived. Once the paramedics and the police arrived on the scene, they hauled the girl away and asked Niko some questions.

Even though his ID was legit, he was still relieved that they didn't ask for it. After finishing his work with the IAA agent, the mysterious man pulled some strings and granted Niko legal citizenship in the US. No longer would he worry about deportation.

After the police and ambulance left, Niko left the scene. After taking his anger and frustration out on a brick wall, his knuckles became torn and bloody. Then he walked aimlessly through the neighborhood, The Night Terror's words echoing in his mind.

_Too bad you couldn't save her. Just. Like. Josef._

His little brother that he tried to not think about came to his mind. That innocent boy whose life was snuffed out at twelve. The one who followed Niko where ever he went and wanted to be just like his big brother. That image of his lifeless, hollow eyes looking up at an evening sky would forever be burned in Niko's memory.

His mind was whirling with questions. How did he know about Josef? How did he know Darko? Niko's eyes narrowed. Darko. That treacherous snake. The bastard ruined Niko's life and he  _still_  spared him! He gave Darko a second chance and this is what did with it? Hunts down innocent women for a someone who got their sick thrills raping and murdering them. Probably still a heroin junkie too.

It made him question sparing people when they clearly deserved to die. Except maybe that Ivan idiot. He never did anything wrong.

He found himself in Outlook Park, the same place he killed that biker for Faustin. Where Lily was jumped by those men and he rushed in to save her.

Lily...

He thought of her long, feathery raven hair flowing down her back and the way it swayed when she walked, her soft, tan skin, the way she laughed, and those dark brown eyes with long lashes. She was sweet and gentle; hardly had an unkind thing to say about anyone. He could forget all of the bad shit that happened when they were together. She never brought it up, only wanted him to live in the moment.

He wasn't far from her place.

He needed her at that moment.

Once he made it to Sundance Street, he picked up his pace, passing neighborhoods, and shops that he knew she sometimes frequented.

Finally, he found himself outside her house. He didn't see Janie's car which was a relief because he didn't feel like dealing with her right now. He walked around the side of the house and opened the gate to the backyard. He could hear music from Lily's room blasting out of the window. Most likely she was gaming. He carefully shut the gate and made his way to the back of the house, and to the back door that he knew the two women never locked. Not something he was okay with.

Once inside, he walked through the kitchen and found himself in the living room before going up the stairs. He pushed open the door to her room and found her on her laptop doing something called "modding" to her games. She wasn't paying attention as he walked over to her radio and turned it off. Lily spun around her chair, surprised(but not unhappy) to find Niko behind her.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned. Her eyes drifted down to his knuckles and she gasped. "What happened to you?!"

"You need to lock your doors at night," he replied, ignoring her questions

She got up from her desk and went into the bathroom for a warm washcloth and her first aid kit.

"Sit down on the bed," she ordered and he obeyed.

He stayed silent while she wiped away the blood and torn flesh. Once his knuckles were clean, she applied the antibiotic cream to his wounds before wrapping them. There was a pain in his auburn eyes, but she knew it wasn't from anything physical.

"Niko, what's wrong?"

His eyes met hers and said, "I just need you tonight. There has been so much bullshit in my life, in this world, and you are one of few things that are good in it. You make it hurt less and help me forget all the tragedies I have faced. I have watched my friends die in a war, I watched my little brother die, and I have lost someone I wanted to spend my life with. This world is shit, Lily. It is all bullshit!" He dug his fingers into his jeans and scowled. "I don't know how you can be so happy all the time when everything around us is terrible!" He looked away and focused on her alarm clock on the nightstand. She pulled him in for an embrace and he accepted, burying his face in her neck. He breathed in her sweet scent, feeling a sense of vulnerability as she held him. This feeling scared him, but at the same time, he liked it and needed it. He needed her. "I… I'm sorry. I should not have said that," he whispered hoarsely.

"But you needed to," she replied. "You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

He nodded and forced the knot of emotion clotting his throat away. She stroked the back of his neck, making him sigh in content. He lifted his head and looked into her dark brown eyes. "There are things I want to say to you, but I don't know how to say them right. English isn't my first language, so I don't want to fuck this up."

"Tell me as simply as you can."

His heart began to pound in his chest as he tried to find the courage to say what he had wanted to tell her months ago. This wasn't going to be easy, but it was now or never.

"Lily, I… I have never said this to anyone before, but… I love you."

Her eyes widened in surprise, then her gaze softened. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as his word sent her heart fluttering in her chest. "Are you sure?" she asked. Maybe she'd heard him wrong.

"Surer than I have ever been. I love you, Lily," he repeated. He never realized how true it was until he said it.

She leaned in, her eyes sparkling with desire. "And I love you," she whispered before pressing her lips to his.

Their kiss became passionate as their mouths parted. She tasted the vodka on his lips and he liked her strawberry lip balm. His hands caressed her soft and warm back, discovering she wasn't wearing a bra. One of his hands found her breast and gently began to tease it. She let out a soft moan, causing him to grow hard. It didn't help that she would occasionally nip his bottom lip, something he found that he liked.

"Are you sure you want this?" she asked, pulling away from him.

He nodded and kissed her again.

He had to admit, this was a strange thing to do after everything that had happened an hour ago, but he needed a distraction to help him forget all of the horrible events in his past and present. With the way she was grinding her hips against his, she was certaintly helping him forget. He would have to tell her more of his past someday, something he wasn't looking forward to doing, but for now, he was going to enjoy this moment.

They fell back on the bed. She began to quickly unfasten his belt, then worked on the button and zipper. The moment he was free, she took him in her hand and stroked it, making him groan. He hooked a finger onto her shorts and tugged them off, then tossed them aside before she guided him in.

His movements were fast and hard. It was alarming to her that he could be this aggressive, but she still loved it. At one point, he grabbed her shirt and yanked it up, exposing her breasts to him. He took one into his mouth, nipping it, caressing it with his tongue while running a hand over her smooth thigh. He cupped her bottom and lifted her to penetrate her deeper. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he continued to pound into her. 

Her fingers pressed deep into his back as she cried out that she loved him. Never did Niko think a woman would utter those words, much less during sex, but he loved it hearing it.

"Tell me that again," he said breathlessly.

"Niko, I… I… l-love you!

_Don't ever stop telling me that._

* * *

Afterward, they lied there trying to catch their breath and calm their wild hearts. Lily giggled and rolled onto her side to face Niko. She moved closer and laid her head on his shoulder.

"That was amazing. You're going to have to surprise visit me more often," she said, grinning.

Niko gave a light chuckle and wrapped an arm around her. "Maybe I will," he mumbled, his eyelids growing heavy. After finally getting the release he desperately needed, he was exhausted. Normally, sex made him energized, but lately, he couldn't stay awake for very long. Maybe it was a sign he was getting old.

She kissed the corner of his mouth and told him goodnight as he drifted off to sleep. It was weird, but she found him adorable when he slept. She laid her head back down, smiling as she thought back to only half an hour ago when he told her he loved her. She had always suspected it with how gentle and loving he was with her, but to actually hear those words gave her a warm and happy feeling. She found herself being lulled by his breathing and soon she herself drifted off.

Even though there was peace at that moment, it would be shattered in the following months by a violent man who was hellbent on getting them both.


	21. Alive

Pain shot through Darko's side as he lied there on a dingy, busted couch in his brother's shitty apartment. He tried to move for a glass of water, but his ribs screamed in agony. Niko had really fucked him up this time. He knew if Damir was a second late, Niko would not have hesitated to finish him off this time.

After a visit from a shady, doctor in a poorly lit basement, Darko was revealed to find out that he arm was merely dislocated, however, three of his ribs were broken. Now all he could do was suffer in agony until his bones properly healed. He wished Niko would have killed him then and there. It seemed his old friend was weaker than he thought.

That wasn't Darko's biggest problem, though.

Damir was pacing around the living room like a caged animal. He knew about Niko and now Darko was going to get the brunt of Damir's anger. At least for a moment, his brother pitied him enough to not hurt him.

"You fucking lied to me!" Damir snarled. "You told me Niko died in that ambush. How did he get away?"

"I don't know! The bullet struck him in the heart and he wasn't breathing. I was sure he was dead. Damir, Niko isn't a threat to us."

Damir's eyes narrowed. "Had he not intervened when we had that girl... Maybe if you had shut her up better…" He shook his head. His mind burned with fury the more he thought about it.

"Niko was always-" Darko hissed as his ribs and face throbbed with pain. He took a breath to sooth it away before he continued. "-a hypocrite. He did a lot of terrible things during the war. I mean, he was tame compared to what the others had done, but…" His sides burned, cutting him off again.

Damir flopped onto his armchair and thought back to that day he was run out of the village. He remembered finding Jelena all alone by the creek. He confronted her about Niko before pinning her down. She tried to scream for help, but he cupped her mouth and told her he'd slit her throat if she tried. He told her that no one would believe her and even if they did, they say she asked for it.

She was too paralyzed with fear to move as he forced her legs apart, continuing to threaten her with death if she said a word. Then she bit down on his hand causing him to bleed. She let out a long piercing scream, alerting half village. He pushed himself off of her, thinking he could leave the scene in time but he didn't know that Niko hadn't been too far from where they were. He didn't hear Niko running towards them until it was too late. Before he could react, Niko slammed his body into Damir's, knocking him off of Jelena. Damir had always been stronger than Niko, but that day, Niko fought like a crazed animal, never letting Damir get the upper hand in the fight and spilling blood all over the forest floor. Niko delivered multiple punches to Damir's face before grabbing a rock and hitting him with it, repetitively. When he thought that wasn't good enough, Niko held Damir's head in the water until he passed out. Damir had already lost consciousness after his head went under, but from what Darko had told him, the villagers had gathered around to witness the fight. His mother started screaming, Milica Bellic begged for Niko to stop, and Jelena laid on the ground crying while her sisters rushed to her side. It was only when Niko's father, Zoron Bellic, pulled him off of Damir did the fight stop.

After that, his neighbors asked Jelena what had happened. When she told everyone the truth, Damir was run off and Niko was seen as a hero. Shortly after that, Niko and Darko along with other boys from the village went to war. Damir, however, went to Italy where he stayed until the war ended. It was only when he got word that Niko was killed did he go back.

It was late when he came back. His target was Milica, but she wasn't home, plus her husband was still alive at the time, so he chose Vlada Bellic, Niko's aunt, and Roman's mother. Poor woman, she was so nice, so sweet. She didn't deserve to die, but if Niko was dead, then someone had to pay for his actions. He had to gag Vlada to stop the screaming and once he finished violating her, he slit her throat. He left Vlada there on her bed as the blood drained from her body.

That was his first kill. The first time he watched the life drain from someone's eyes and the day he discovered how arousing it was to dominate over a woman. When he went back early the next morning he watched Zoron and another man splash petrol on the side of the house. It was fascinating to watch as the house went up in flames.

"What do we do now?"

Darko's voice pulled Damir from his thoughts. His eyes flickered to his brother as Darko winched in pain. "First, we wait for you to heal then we begin our hunt for the exotic beauty."

Darko nodded and the pain sliced through him like a hot knife. This was getting too much for him to bear. He needed heroin. That always stopped the pain in more ways than one.

"Damir, do we have any more heroin? This hurts..."

Damir leaned forward in his chair and grinned. "You're hurting badly aren't you, brother?"

"Yes." Darko panted as the pain made it hard to breathe. "Please, brother. I cannot stand it anymore."

"But you are keeping something from me, are you not?"

Darko swallowed. His brother knew about the cab service. "The girl... she... works for… for.. Bellic Enterprises..."

Something flashed in Damir's eyes and a sinister grin form on his face. Darko knew he had sent that girl to her death. His brother reached for his laptop off the coffee table and began his search for Bellic Enterprises. Damir found the business's website and looked through it. There he found a picture of Roman Bellic standing next to one of his cabs along with a phone number and email address. So, the Bellic cousins were here in Liberty City and the girl worked for them. This was too good to be true.

_Perfect…_  Damir thought. He couldn't go after the girl just yet, not while Darko had broken ribs, but as soon as he was healed, they were going for the girl. For now, he would just play mind games on both her and Roman. He created a new email account and typed out a message to Roman. Once he finished, he hit send and waited for the man's reply. After jotting down the phone number and address, he gave Darko his fix and left his brother to zone out on the couch.

* * *

The office was quiet as Roman twisted left and right in his chair, playing a game on his computer. He had to admit, Lily a decent taste in games, even if it was turn-based combat. He was roaming the San Andreas desert with his canine companion, Porkhound when the game went to a cutscene. Ambushed by Raiders, he quickly died. The screen cut to a pile of bones in the desert with one of his favorite actors narrating over the image.

_The darkness of the afterlife is all that awaits you now. May you find more peace in that world than you found in this one…_

Roman swore under his breath and exited out of the game. Oh well, he had enough of the original  _Radiation_  for one day. Personally, he preferred the third game.

He decided to check his emails while he waited for cab number nine to come back. Most of it was spam, as usual, so he went through the painstaking task of deleting them one by one until he came across a curious email. His cursor hovered over the delete button for a moment before he chose to open it. His blood ran cold at the words before him.

_Vlada Bellic did not die the way you think. Your cousin lies._

Roman's mouth felt dry and his hands began to tremble. Once he collected himself, he typed out a reply.

_Who the fuck is this?_

Roman got up and poured himself a paper cup of water before going back to the computer. An hour later, he got his reply.

_Let's just say I am an old friend. Go on, ask your cousin the truth. If Niko really cares for you, he'll be honest…_

Roman felt the bile rise in his throat and he pressed the cold paper cup to temple. What was this person talking about? Why would Niko lie about something like that? He wouldn't! His cousin was capable of many things, but he would never lie to Roman about his own mama, but something deep down told him it was true. His stomach twisted into painful knots as he thought back to the day Niko called to inform Roman that his mother had died in a house fire. Enemy soldiers had razed a lot of places to the ground and she happened to be trapped inside.

His heart thudded so loud in his chest, he couldn't hear his own thoughts. He closed his eyes and counted to ten, trying to calm his nerves.

_Come on, Roman, be reasonable. Niko would never lie to you like that. He's a good cousin. He looks out for you. He risked his life for you…_

As the weeks flew by, his home and work life became busy, giving Roman very little time to focus on the strange emails that he received in his inbox. Still, they weighed on the back of his mind. He continued to remind himself that Niko would never do that him.

Unfortunately, the seed of doubt had been planted and it only grew as more strange emails arrived in his inbox.

* * *

Maisonette 9 was packed that night as usual. Business was good, Tony was cutting back on the prescription meds, and that sexy strawberry-blonde Luis hooked up with months had finally returned to the club. She was out there on the dance floor that very moment, dressed in a tube top and mini skirt, with knee-high boots.

He wished he wasn't working so he could invite her to the back for a little fun. It was strange but this woman had an effect on him that he couldn't describe. He wasn't ready for this, but she was here now and he couldn't deny that he wanted her more than anything. He must be getting old.

Static came over the earpiece, forcing him out of his thoughts. "Hello! Luis are you there?"

Joni.

Luis sighed. "What is it now?"

"We've got a problem. Some guy is creeping around outside and with that Night Terror on the loose, we can't be too careful."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll go check it."

Luis checked around outside the club for the creep but didn't see anyone. Dessie hadn't reported any strange activity, but he was busy arguing with someone. Idiots, don't they know it's members only?

He went around the side of the building and towards the back where he saw a figure cloaked in darkness moving around near the dumpsters. Louis walked towards the figure, prepared to fight if he had to.

"Hey, who's there?" Luis called out. The figure froze, then slowly turned to face him. Luis reached into his jacket and felt the pistol for reassurance.  _Why do I always have to deal with the weirdos?_ "Hey, asshole, did you not hear me?"

The figure stepped out of the shadows, revealing a blonde haired man with a badly scarred face. Without warning, he charged for Luis; Luis quickly withdrew his gun, and fired off two rounds, missing both times. Screaming could be heard from the front of the building and he swore under his breath. Tony wasn't going to be too happy about him scaring the customers.

The man tackled him to the ground, knocking the gun from his hand, and sending it skidding across the ground. The man pulled out a large hunting knife and plunged it into Luis's left shoulder. Luis slammed his fist into the side of his attacker's face and managed to kick him off. Pulling out the knife, Luis tossed it to the side and felt around for the gun in the darkness. By the time he found it, the man was running away. Luis fired off three more rounds. He wasn't sure if he hit the man, but he was gone now. The screaming still continued up front. Yep, Tony was definitely going to be pissed about this one.

"Luis, what the hell is going on out there? Luis!  _Luis!_ " Joni's frantic voice came over the earpiece.

Clutching his wounded shoulder, Luis let out a growl of frustration. "Do me a favor and shut up for a second. I've been fuckin' wounded."

"Oh shit! Get back in here."

Five minutes later, Luis was in the back office shirtless and being treated for his wound. The guests outside were told to leave, but those that remained inside had no idea what had just taken place.

"Oh my, God. Oh my, God!" Tony repeated as he paced the room. "Do you think it was The Night Terror? What if one of my girls gets hurt? This is going to be bad for business!"

"Relax, Tone, no one is gonna hurt any of our guests. We'll make sure of it," Luis replied as Joni bandaged his shoulder.

"Security is going to have to be tighter around here. Do you hear me? And that goes for Hercules, too!" Tony said.

"Don't worry, I'm on this."

A few weeks had passed and the paranoia over the creeper had died down. No other incident had been reported and guards stopped escorting women to their cars.

Cindy, the club's waitress, had finished her shift and decided to head home. She bid her co-workers goodnight and walked to her car. It was early in the morning, so darkness still shrouded the area, but Cindy had never been afraid. She had taken self-defense courses at a women's center last year and was feeling confident in herself. She wasn't afraid of some crazed maniac on the loose. One hit of pepper spray to the face and he was done for!

She finally made it her car and got inside, breathing a sigh of relief. As she slid the key into the ignition, her gaze drifted up to her rear-view mirror. Her eyes widened in fear the moment she caught sight of a shadowy figure in the backseat. Before she could move or even scream, cold leather was wrapped around her throat and constricted.

Cindy clawed at the belt that squeezed her windpipe. She thrashed about, hitting the horn twice. Her assailant held both her tiny wrists with one massive hand and soon her body stilled and the life in her eyes faded.

Damir pulled her body into the back seat and moved to the front of the car. It wasn't wise of him to go hunting while Darko was still healing, but Damir had grown tired of waiting and needed his prey. The girl he had killed moments ago would have to do. Most women who frequented clubs were sluts and whores. Filthy women who polluted the earth with their presents and teased him.

Just like that little whore who drove the cab. He wanted to run his fingers through her raven hair then chop it off so he could keep it forever. Most of the women he went after, he killed as soon as he caught them, but this girl… oh, this girl he was going to savor. He'd keep her a few days, down in the dark tunnels, and have his way with her, then he'd slit her pretty little throat. After that, he'd dump her body in the Hickey River with the rest of them, but he'd miss his exotic beauty.

He slid behind the wheel of Cindy's car and slammed the driver side door, started the engine, and floored it out of there to a more discreet location where he could play with his latest catch.

* * *

Lily and Janie were relaxing on the couch, watching the news, and eating cookie dough ice cream. The two cousins had not spent much time together and were trying to make up for it.

"You wanna watch a Rom-Com?" Janie asked.

Lily turned up her nose at the idea. "I'd rather watch an 80s action flick."

Her cousin rolled her eyes. "You and your stupid action movies." Janie flipped through the channels until they came across a classic comedy. It was one they both enjoyed and would occasionally quote.

" _Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"_  The white-haired man on TV said.

"This movie never gets old!" Janie said.

" _Family Dad_  gets most of its jokes from this movie," Lily pointed out.

"Well,  _Family Dad_  is a rip-off of that other show."

Lily finished off her first bowl of ice cream and went for another. As she scooped out the frozen treat, she couldn't help but feel as if she were being watched. She looked out the kitchen window and saw nothing but pitch blackness in the backyard. She switched on the back porch light and felt a little better.

She came back into the living room to find her cousin looking forlorn. Janie had seemed rather troubled lately. She hoped it wasn't because of Calvin.

"Something troubling you?" Lily asked as she sat beside Janie.

Janie sighed and set her bowl on the end table. "I've been doing some thinking."

"Oh? About what?"

"About going back to South Yankton. The more I think about, the more I realize how important is for me to be connected to our culture. I know more about Irish culture than Lakota and my parents raised me Catholic when Ma should have been teaching me her beliefs! That and Jace offered me a secretary job up there that pays a lot more than the cafe."

Her heart sank. Janie couldn't move away, she was the only family she had in this city and what about the house? Where was Lily going to live? There was something else that Janie was hiding from her.

"There's more to it isn't there?"

Janie looked down at her lap. "Calvin won't leave me alone. He keeps calling me even after I've changed my number twice and he leaves threatening voicemails. I just want to get as far away from here as possible."

"Get a restraining order, move to Madison! My dad won't turn you away! Please don't go, Janie. I'll miss you and I won't have a place to live if you go."

"You've got Niko and a restraining order is just a piece of paper. He'll walk right through it and make me regret getting one. I'm sorry, Lily, but my mind is made up. Next spring, I'll be moving. That should give you plenty of time to figure out where you're going to go."

"If that's what you want," Lily muttered.

She stood up from the couch and took their bowls to the kitchen. She fought back the urge to cry, knowing it wasn't going to do her any good. Janie had spent her entire life in Liberty City. She would get bored in South Yankton, but if that was what she truly wanted, then there wasn't much Lily could do about it now.

Later that night, she was on her computer, making a LifeInvader page. After months of being stubborn, she finally decided it was time to join everyone else on the new social media website. She was almost finished when an unknown number called her.

"Hello?" she answered.

There was silence on the other end, then heavy breathing. A feeling of dread gnawed at her stomach when the person on the other end began to laugh.

"Who is this? Benny if that's you it's not very funny and I told you to never contact me again!"

"See you soon." Followed by more laughter.

Lily ended the call and tossed her phone on the bed. Of all nights, it had to be this one that someone would try to mess with her. Her heart lurched in her throat and she couldn't stop shaking.

Because she didn't know what else to do, she went back to customizing her LifeInvader page, hoping she could put the incident behind her.  _It was only a prank._

First the feeling of being watched, and now this. She couldn't stay in this house anymore, she had to get out of here. Grabbing her phone off the bed, she called the only person she could talk to about all of this.

"Niko, do you think it would be okay if I came over?"


	22. Dark Tunnels

Thick fog blanketed the city, giving the area an ominous feel. The streets were nearly bare, except for the occasional pedestrian or car that whizzed by. On that night, Kevin Marx, a well known white supremacist, drug dealer, and sex offender, was standing near a junkyard at BOABO waiting for his next customer.

He lit a cigarette to calm his nerves. He'd never admit it out loud but there was something about the night air that made him uneasy. Maybe it was the fog or maybe it was the fact that a crazy dude was killing people like him. It didn't help that the buyer he was supposed to meet was late. He leaned against the gate and blew a billow of smoke into the air.

Cross-hairs lined perfectly with the center of his head. Through the scope, Niko watch as Marx puffed on his cigarette, not knowing it would be his last. The lens was beginning to fog, Niko knew now was the time to take the shot. His finger curled around the trigger, held his breath, and pulled the trigger.

The bullet entered Marx's forehead and blew out the back of his skull. The force of the bullet sent him backward, knocking the gate open. Niko lowered the rifle with a sense of satisfaction. Pulling out the new most wanted list, he crossed out Marx's name and tapped on the name of his next target, Rodger Finch. He climbed down from the ship containers and made his way down the street to the customized Futo.

His phone rang as soon as he opened the door. Roman's name lit up the screen, but he wasn't in the mood to talk with him. He ended the call and got behind the wheel. As much as he missed spending time with Roman, he couldn't do that tonight. However, he had noticed his cousin's withdrawal from him. He thought maybe Roman was busy with family life, but that never stopped him before. Roman looked at him differently now, as if he'd done something wrong. When questioning him about it, Roman simply shrugged it off as nothing. Roman was always a strange one, though.

It was four in the morning by the time he found himself on the other side of Broker. Finch was somewhere in the area by himself. This time it would be easy. This kill would have to be quiet. No guns, not even a sniper. He felt the blade in his pocket and continued down the street to the corner Finch typically hung around.

Finch was wanted for armed robbery, carjacking, and assaulting a minor. Because Finch was more on the scrawny side, he could easily be overpowered by Niko. As usual, he stuck to the shadows with his weapon in hand. Finch didn't die right away, instead, he lied on the ground, clutching his throat and gurgling as Niko stood over him. Once the blood pulsed out of his body and all over the dirty alley, Niko fled the scene.

He was back in his car, going down the list when he saw a name that stuck out to him. Calvin Williams, the slimy motherfucker who put his hands on Janie, the reason she was leaving, and why Lily had been upset. He was wanted for domestic violence, money laundering, sexual assault, and armed robbery. He placed an X by the name, deciding that Calvin would be the next one to go. This was one death he could live with.

* * *

Weeks passed, turning summer into fall. Tourist season was over, to the relief of Roman's drivers and every other local in the city. Leaves turned and the air became cooler, skimpy clothes were put away in favor of longer, warmer ones. The days became shorter and the nights longer. During that time, The Night Terror's reign over the city seemed to stop, for the time being, giving the people of Liberty City some relief.

That is until the bodies were pulled from the river.

The rain came pouring down that morning, making navigating to work a dangerous task. The windshield wipers sloshed away water, trying to keep the view ahead of them clear as the force of the winds tried to push the Sabre off the road, tires desperately gripping the slick asphalt as the storm raged on. The only comfort was the radio softly playing Vice City FM. Somewhere between Hall & Oats and Fernando's ramblings a news broadcast played.

" _It appears that more bodies were found near the Hickey Bridge last Sunday when a man who was scuba-diving for treasure came across the body of a young woman. Police pulled the body from the river and identified her as twenty-five-year-old, Cindy Wong, of Algonquian. She was a waitress at the Maisonette 9 and was last seen leaving from her shift at work. Her car was found last week burning in a parking lot. Police also found the badly decomposed remains of Galina Reznikov. Reznikov was reported missing back in early April by her family. Three more women have been recovered since then, but LCPD has yet to identify them..."_

Not wanting to hear anymore, Lily quickly changed the station. She tired of hearing about that guy. She looked at Niko, who was gripping the steering wheel tight enough that his knuckles whitened. For a moment, she worried that turning the station had angered him, but he wasn't one to care about such a thing. He seemed distracted anyway, lost in his own thoughts. He was like that a lot lately and it concerned her. She wanted to talk to him, but she was afraid he would shut her out.

He yelled out obscenities to passing drivers in Serbian while blaring the horn. Lightning flashed across the windshield and thunder crackled in the air. Lily flinched and squeezed her eyes shut. She hated driving in this weather and just knew some idiot would expect her to floor it to the airport when they should have woken up early enough so they wouldn't be late for their flight.

"Niko, I think you should slow down. We can barely see what's in front of us," Lily said.

He scowled and took a sharp turn. "We're fine. I know what I'm doing!"

"You drive like you're pissed. What's wrong? Is it… something I did?"

He softened. "No, it wasn't you, I promise. I have a lot on my mind."

"What's on your mind then?"

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I will figure this out on my own."

Feeling shut out and hurt, she turned away and focused her attention out the window. She would get her answers soon, but now wasn't the time to press the matter further.

Miraculously, they made it to the depot in one piece, but now they had to deal with the task of running to the office. They flipped the hood to their jackets over their heads before quickly dashing inside.

Roman was at the desk this time with little Mijo by his side. Mallorie wasn't feeling well that day, so she stayed home. It seemed to Roman that Mallorie was either not well or she was crying. He didn't know what he was going to do about her, but he had to think of something. He knew she thought he was sleeping around and gambling again. She thought he didn't find her attractive since the baby was born either. So only one of those things were true. Yes, he was gambling again, but only a little and he wasn't in debt… at least not much. As for the cheating, he was many things, but he was also a man of honor. He took his wedding vows seriously despite what everyone thought and he never once found her unattractive. In fact, the baby made her titties bigger!

He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down in front of his computer. He thought about playing  _Radiation_  again but wasn't up for grinding out hours in the apocalypse. It was almost time for his employees to arrive.

Right on time, Niko and Lily walked into the office. They were his best employees, well, Niko was more of a co-owner, but he was reliable as was Lily. He was thinking of giving her a pay raise and a promotion soon.

"Good morning, cousin! Good morning, Lily," Roman said in his usual cheerfulness.

"Hey, Roman," Lily replied, equally cheerful.

Niko mumbled a "good morning" and sat near the water cooler.

Niko was in one of his moods. Great. Roman looked at Lily for an answer but she could only shrug.

"He's been like this since he woke up," she explained. "Seemed fine last night."

"I'm just tired," Niko grumbled.

"How can you be tired when we went to bed at the same time? You act like you've been running around all night." Her tone of voice implied suspicion, but Niko wasn't about to discuss it here with his cousin in the room.

"We're getting off the subject." He poured himself a cup of water and took a sip.

Lily rolled her eyes. She grabbed a pair of keys and bid them goodbye, leaving the Bellic cousins alone.

Rain pelted the roof of the building at a steady rhythm, making it the only sounds that could be heard in the room. For the longest time, they said nothing to each other; both having something weighing heavy on their minds.

"Does she know what you do at night?" Roman asked. He eyed his cousin from his coffee mug. Niko ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "You haven't her told after all this time?"

"No, I have not. I don't plan on it for a while."

"You'll have to tell her eventually, cousin."

"I will. _Skini mi se s grbače!_ "

Roman laughed, but it soon died down when a new email alert popped up on his computer. It blinked on the screen, taunting him, reminding him that one of the people he cared for the most was probably lying to him. He clicked away the notification and loaded up  _Radiation._

 _Maybe_  by The Ink Spots began to play through the computer's speakers. Niko raised a brow at his cousin's strange choice of music and games. Ever since Lily introduced Roman to that post-apocalyptic game, he was glued to it. He would never understand the appeal in video games.

"Don't give me that look, NB. It's fun and you should give it a try."

Niko scoffed. "I'd rather not." He stood, crushing the little cup in his hand. "I'll see you at lunch." He reached the door when Roman stopped him.

"Hey, uh, you mind meeting me after work? We… we need to talk."

Niko gave a nod. "Sure, Roman. Is something wrong?"

"Uh, no, no, I don't think there is… listen well talk more about it later. Now is not a good time."

"Okay then."

Roman was left alone once again. Not once had Mijo stirred, which was good on Roman's part, but he knew it was almost time to wake him from his nap. If Mijo slept too long, then he wouldn't sleep during the night and Roman would never hear the end of it from Mallorie then.

"Come on, little guy, let's get you up and about."

* * *

Of all the places for there to be a traffic jam, the bridge was not one of them. Bumper to bumper cars were packed to together on the Algonquin Bridge. Horns blared, people hung out of their windows and shouted at each other, and the bridge creaked and moaned as forceful winds pushed against it.

Large bridges had always made Lily nervous and this was only making her fear of them worse. It didn't help that her passengers were a grumpy father and his bratty son who wouldn't quit whining. It was enough to make her want to throw her uterus into on-coming traffic. She thanked the universe for the millionth time that she was on birth control and she had her period every month. Even if that month it was very light; So light in fact that it worried her until Janie informed her the pill sometimes lightened periods.

She yawned and leaned back in her seat. Even with caffeine in her system, she was having trouble staying awake. She normally had the energy to stay up all day, but on that day she felt like a zombie. Maybe if she shut her eyes for just a moment…

A swift kick to the back of her seat sent her jolting awake.

"I wanna go  _home!_ " The little boy wailed as he furiously kicked the back of Lily's seat.

"We'll be home as soon as traffic gets a move on," the disgruntled father replied. "Eh, lady, you got any idea what's goin' on up there?"

"No, sir, I'm sorry, but I'm just as clueless." Lily stifled a sigh.  _I wanna go home, too. I want nothing more than to crawl into bed with a good book and cup of hot tea. Maybe have Niko snuggled against me for a bonus._

"I wanna watch cartoons!" The boy continued to whine.

_Jesus Christ, kid, just shut the hell up._

"How about we listen to the radio?" Lily suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds fine." The father said, not really listening.

Lily tuned it to Radio Broker and closed her eyes, wishing she could be anywhere but there. Her thoughts drifted to Madison and the warm sun shining across open prairie, rolling hills with green grass, and a herd of horses running across them.

Once traffic got moving again and she was off the bridge, her day became a little easier. She dropped the father and son off near Bismarck Avenue and continued with her busy day. By lunchtime, she was ready to collapse.

She found herself outside a gas station and decided she would use her break to take a power nap. Roman wouldn't like it, but she couldn't help it. She was drained and not even an energy drink could fix it. After finishing off a cup of tomato soup, she shut off the engine, closed her eyes and drifted off. Her phone buzzed in her purse, but she ignored it and let whoever wanted to speak with her go to voicemail. If it were important, they'd call back later.

Within minutes she was fast asleep.

* * *

Mijo was teething.

The infant's piercing screams of agony split through Roman's skull like a knife. He had given Mijo oral numbing paste, but it wasn't working fast enough. He wanted to cry right along with his son, but for the sake of his pride and sanity, he kept from doing so.

Roman grabbed a cold pack from the mini fridge and gave it the boy. The cold was soothing to the infant's mouth. The phone began to ring just as Mijo was settling down. He sighed and picked up the phone.

"Bellic Enterprises, how may I help you today?" Roman answered in a forced cheerful voice.

"I need a cab sent over to President Avenue on Colony Island by this afternoon. Say… six pm and send a female driver," an Eastern European voice said on the other line.

Behind Roman, Mijo was starting to fuss again. He had to get this guy off the phone before Mijo began his tantrum. "Eh… yeah, sure, I'll send one over..." he replied while jotting down the details. "And you said a woman driver?" He didn't like the sound of that. "I only have one."

"That's fine and do not worry. I pay double."

"Double you say?" He could really use the money to pay off debts, but something was wrong about this.  _You need the money, Roman. Do you want Mallorie to find out about your gambling debt? Lily will be fine..._  Mijo's fussing was gradually turning into cries. Roman had to make this quick. "Yes, yes, I'll be sure to send her over."

Damir ended the call. He turned to Darko who was leaning against a cold brick wall with a solemn look. He couldn't understand why his brother was being this way. After all, Darko had admitted to committing atrocities himself during the war.

To make the situation even better he now knew that the girl was seeing Niko. Not only did he get his prey, but this would also hurt Niko. What joy would it be for his old enemy to find his girlfriend's beaten, violated body floating in the river.

"She'll be there by six. Come on, Darko, the plan is now in motion," Damir said.

Darko gave a nod and followed his brother out the door. This was it, tonight The Night Terror was going to claim another victim.

* * *

"Cab number 8, are you there?" Roman's frustrated voice crackled over the CB.

Lily's eyes fluttered opened and she abruptly sat up in her seat. She looked around the car before her eyes rested on the CB radio. Oh shit! How long had she been sleeping?

"Lily, where are you?!"

Shit.

She grabbed the mic and pressed the button. "Sorry, Roman, I was… taking a sharp turn and couldn't answer. What's up?"

"You sound as if you've been sleeping. Doesn't matter, I need you over to President Avenue on Colony Island by six tonight. We got a fare to pick up."

Lily rubbed her temples and suppressed a yawn. "Yeah, alright, I'll be there tonight."

"Good and see that you don't fall asleep again. I'll let it slide this time."

Lily checked the time on her phone. It was 2:30 pm. Great, that means she slept for almost two and a half hours. She didn't understand how she could be so tired when she went to bed early the night before. Hell, she even slept in a little that morning. She purchased a mocha coffee and continued her drive around the city.

Spend the next three and a half hours driving around, picking up passengers, dropping them off, and listening to the radio. A few times Roman dispatched her to customers, all the while she was wishing she could go to bed and sleep for the next century. She had never felt this drained before. Maybe she was lacking a vitamin?

By five she was making her way to Colony Island. Most folks left work around this time so she found herself stuck in traffic again. Forty minutes later, she finally made it Leaper's Bridge and made to the street she was to wait for her customer.

The sun was sinking over the water, streaking the sky with fiery orange and pink. The temperature was beginning to drop. She turned up the heat and pressed her hands to the vents of her car while the radio softly played Liberty Rock Radio.

While she waited she decided to text Janie and Niko. Even if Niko didn't like to text, it was fun to pester him.

After ten minutes had passed and there wasn't any sign of the customer, she grew frustrated. Grabbing the CB mic, she tried contacting Roman.

"What is it?" Roman asked while trying to sooth Mijo.

"I don't think this guy is coming. It's been ten minutes and he's a no-show."

Roman gave an exasperated sigh and replied, "Just give him a little bit longer. The man promised double the money."

"Roman, I think he was lying and we both've been pranked."

"You need to start acting a little more professional. Sit there and wait like your boss has told you to do. Now, excuse me, but I have more important matters to attend to."

Roman ended the call. Frustrated, Lily threw the mic at the dash then immediately regretted that decision in fear of breaking it. She sighed out of boredom and blew a strand of hair from her face.

_This sucks. It's dark, it's cold, and I'm a little creeped out._

She happened to look down at the gauges and realized the fuel was rapidly approaching empty. She shut off the engine and stepped out of the car. Kneeling down for a better look, she saw that the fuel was spilling out of the car at an alarming rate. She stood back up and looked all around her for someone to help, but there was no one in sight. She swallowed nervously and got back in the car.

She tried contacting Roman again but he wasn't answering. The only other person she could call was Niko. She hoped he could help her out. He wasn't answering his phone either. Great. Maybe he'll see her text.

_In a bit of a pickle. Cab's fuel line has a leak and lost gas. Can you help me out_ _? I'm on Colony Island, President Avenue._

She tossed her phone next to her purse, which was on the passenger seat of the cab and got out of the car again. The puddle of gas was running out from underneath the car. She popped the trunk and decided to check for any tools she could use.

As she reached into the toolbox she felt the sharp pain of a blunt object strike her in the back of the head. She didn't go down right away; she turned to face her attacker as the world around her was spinning. A tall man dressed in a black hoodie loomed over her. His face was twisted in a hateful scowl, unsatisfied that she didn't fall over right away. The left side of his face was horribly scarred and his eyes were dark and hollow, with absolutely zero humanity behind them.

Instinctively she reached behind her head where she was wounded and felt wetness. Looking at her trembling hand revealed that she was now bleeding. Everything in her told her run, but her head was spinning too fast for her to even try. She opened her mouth to scream but didn't have the energy. Her legs buckled and she dropped to the ground with a thud.

In the next instant, she felt rope constrict around her wrists and ankles, restricting her movements. Not that she had the strength to move anyway. She couldn't understand what her kidnappers were saying, but she didn't care to understand nor did she have the strength to fight back.

She would have to worry about it later once she rested…

* * *

Niko made it back to the depot, thankful the day was over. However, when he arrived, he didn't find Lily there, only Roman yelling into the CB mic.

"Cab number 8, are you there? Cab number 8! Lily!" Roman tossed the mic to the side and had a look of worry. "Come on, where are you?"

"What's going on?" Niko asked when entering the room.

Roman flinched in his chair and swerved it to face his cousin. "Oh, uh, hey, cousin. Going home for the day?"

"I will once Lily gets back. Where is she?"

Roman swiveled in his chair nervously, his gaze drifted to the CB. "Okay, so here's the thing and don't be mad, but an hour ago some Serb called up and asked for a ride in Colony Island and I sent Lily to the location and now I can't get a hold of her and she's not answering her phone and fuck, fuck, fuck, I think something might have happened! I tried calling you, but your phone kept going straight to voicemail."

Niko took out his phone and turned it back on. He normally shut it off when he was working so he wouldn't be bothered. Once the phone booted up and the screen was displayed, he saw the several missed calls from Roman and a few text from Lily. The first one was nonsense, but the second was a message stating she was having car trouble and it gave her location.

She was out there on Colony Island, a place that wasn't exactly an ideal spot to be stranded, especially at night. His heart sped up in his chest. He tried to reason with himself that it wasn't that bad, that she was okay, and would be waiting for him. He would arrive and she would give him that shy little smile he loved so much.

"Damn it, Roman, she better be okay!" Niko snapped.

Before Roman could respond, Niko was already gone and out the door. The slamming of the door woke Mijo. Roman picked up his son and tried to soothe him back to sleep.

The Sabre peeled out in the parking lot, leaving tire marks and smoke behind him. A streak of red and white whizzed past other cars as Niko floored it to Colony Island. He tried to be rational to calm his heart, but deep down he knew something was wrong. Her phone continued to go to voicemail.

_I can't go through this again. I can't lose another. Kate, I may have failed you, but I won't let Lily down._

But when he arrived, his heart dropped. Taking out his flashlight, he inspected the area. The cab was there, but not in the way he thought it would be. The trunk was open and there was a puddle of gas under the car. He walked around the car to shut the trunk when he found the blood.

_Don't let that be her blood. Maybe she hit an animal and that's what's wrong with the fuel line…_

He tried calling her phone again to see if she would answer. He heard the faint sound of her ringtone and found it coming from the car. He looked through the window to see her purse and the little blue light from her phone. She would  _never_  leave her phone behind.

Something was wrong.

His mind blanked. His chest tightened.

He fell against the car and shut his eyes. She was gone. He failed her like he'd failed everyone else in his life. He had to think, where was she, what happened to her?

He called Roman and informed him of the situation, who then called Mallorie took Mijo with her. Roman called Little Jacob for help and Niko called Jessie to get help from The Steel Roses. They were going to have an entire search party.

Lily was going to be found. No matter what, Niko would get her back.

* * *

_Where am I? Why is it so dark? I want to move but I can't and my head hurts so bad._

Where ever she was, it was cold, dark, and musty. She tried sitting up, but her head was swimming. She laid her head back down on the dirty floor and took even breaths to calm herself. All her life she had a paralyzing fear of the darkness. It was never the dark itself but what was in the dark and at that moment, she didn't know what the hell was there with her. She wanted to call out to someone, but she was too afraid to make noise. Her imagination was running wild with what could be with her that very moment.

She tried moving her arms and legs but found that she bound together. It wasn't fiber ropes either, but the hard plastic like ones that reminded her of the lead ropes she used for her horses. Maybe she could chew her way out, but right now, she was too frightened to move. She was wishing she had shelled out the extra money for self-defense courses, but it was too late now.

It was too dark to take in her surroundings.

"Comfortable?"

She froze at the sound of a gruff male voice.

A floodlight snapped on, casting its light over the once pitch black room. Lily flinched and squeezed her eyes shut as the bright light temporarily blinded her. She slowly let her eyes adjusted to the brightness and once her vision was clearer, she saw a tall man slowly approaching her.

"I'm sorry I had to hurt you," he said in a thick Slavic accent. "But I know you would never have come willingly, especially if you knew what I plan on doing to you."

Lily began to shiver, half from the cold and half from fear. He knelt down beside her, she felt his hot breath on her neck and could smell the alcohol. It took everything in her to keep from recoiling in disgust.

"Don't be afraid. I won't let you suffer long, but I do wish to savor you." He pulled a large knife from his pocket and held a section of her hair out. With a strong tug, he held her hair tight and sliced off a chunk. He brought the hair to his lips and closed his eyes. "So soft and silky. You're very lucky to have such nice hair." He planted his disgusting lips on her neck, making her shudder in disgust, but he took it as something else. "You like that, don't you?" He lifted his head to study her face. "They call me a lot of things. A demon, a bastard, but you might know me as The Night Terror. Niko, however, knew me as Damir Brevic."

Lily's eyes widened. "N-Niko?" she breathed. "Wait… you're that guy I picked up in my cab months ago."

"I have wanted to hurt Niko for a long time -I have many times in fact- and I've wanted you for a long time. This is like killing two birds with one stone. Almost literally. You will die and Niko will die as well."

Her heart thudded in her chest, loudly. She couldn't hear her own thoughts, not that she was in a position to think straight anyway.

"Lay on your back and if you try anything, I will slit your fucking throat."

When she didn't move right away, he grabbed her by the knees and forcefully rolled her onto her back. He pulled out his knife and began to cut the ropes that bound her ankles. She couldn't believe this was happening again, only this time no one was going to help her and she didn't know what to do.

Once her ankles were free, she thought about kicking him, but he was bigger than her and it would only piss him off.

_Maybe if I do as he says, he'll let me go… but didn't say he was The Night Terror? Oh God! He's gonna kill me and dump my body in the West River. What am I going to do?_

All her life they saw her as weak, they fought her battles for her, she never learned to stand up for herself or fight and now she was paying the price.

"When I am done with you, I'll go for your boyfriend next. That piece of shit has caused me enough trouble. Once he dies, I no longer have to worry about him." He hovered over her, pressing his weight down on her.

Her eyes darted around the room, scanning the area for something she could use. It wouldn't matter, he had her hands tied too tight and he was on top of her. She felt his hands fumbling around with his jeans. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to steady her racing heart and trembling body.

_I can't die like this. I need to do something._

Her eyes open, she looked at the man on top of her who was now working on her jeans. She thought about Niko in that moment and remembered their conversation about Kate. She could still hear the pain in his voice as he talked about the day she died. He still carried the guilt with him and Lily knew that if she died here in these dark tunnels, Niko would have her death on his conscious. It wouldn't be his fault, but he'd blame himself all the same. She couldn't let that happen. Who knows what he would do.

_If I die, I'll die fighting!_

She thrashed about underneath him and screamed with all the remaining air in her lungs until she couldn't anymore. The Night Terror lifted enough weight off of her so she could breathe again. He scowled down at her and backhanded her face with enough force that it split her lip. Warm, salty, blood trickled into her mouth as she nursed on it.

"Shut the fuck up!" he snarled.

She managed lifted one of her knees to put a wedge between them while using her bound hands to attempt to push him off of her. He was too heavy, but she couldn't give up. She rolled her head to the left and bit down on his arm as hard as she could. He yowled in pain and tried to withdraw his arm from her, but she wasn't letting go. He slammed his fist into the side of her head until she weakened and released her jaws. She rolled away from him and tried to stand, but he knocked her flat on her back again. He came charging at her, but a swift kick to his groin made him double over in pain.

" _ **DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME AGAIN!"**_  Lily shrieked.

She leapt to her feet and turned to run. As she ran into pitch blackness, she thought for a moment she could get away. Then heavy hands clamped down on her shoulders and brought her back down to the ground. She felt around as she was being dragged and found a large shard of glass.

"Wait, be still, I won't hurt you!" a man pleaded. This wasn't The Night Terror. His voice was gruff and accented, but very different. "Stop moving!"

"Let me go!"

Gripping the shard tightly in both hands, she swung it with all her strength, plunging it deep into the man's left shoulder. She felt the stinging hot pain of the glass slicing into the soft flesh of her palms and immediately let go. The man roared in agony and tried pulling it out. Lily took this as an opportunity to run away.

She navigated hopelessly down the dark tunnels, stumbling a few times along the way. The sooner she figured out where she was, the better chance she had to get out of here. First, she had to rid herself of these bindings.

* * *

"Are you sure we're going in the right direction?" Niko asked.

Linda Heder rolled her eyes. "Yes, you dumb immigrant, I know where we are."

Niko, Linda, Melissa, Little Jacob, and Roman stood in the basement of an old abandoned warehouse near Middle Park.

One of Jacob's men had been in the area when Lily was taken off of Colony Island. He watched as two hooded figures strike her on the head and drag her away to a dark blue Washington. Niko felt a sliver of hope at this new bit of information. The only problem was, they didn't know where Lily had been taken. That was left to Jessie who sent every single Rose out to gather as much information as possible. As it turned out, the homeless proved to be the most useful in their search. Several homeless had witnessed two men dressed in black drag girls into an abandoned network of subway tunnels.

Because Linda's family had ties to seedy characters in the area, she knew the tunnels well and the shortcuts to them.

"Come on," Linda said, pushing open a rotating brick wall. "It's this way." She held the wall open long enough for everyone to go in.

"Niko, are you sure we can trust this woman?" Roman whispered.

"We can trust her, now come on, you said you wanted to come along." Niko hissed.

"Well yeah, but I didn't think we'd go down a dark and scary tunnel."

The wall slammed behind them, making Roman jump. Everyone switched on their flashlights and made their way down the tunnel with Linda in the lead. It took them ten minutes but they finally made it to a crossroads.

"W'ere to now, star?" Jacob asked.

Niko shined his light down both paths but still didn't have any idea of which way to go. He was starting to think he'd never find her down here. Then he heard it: a woman yelling, though it was faint.

"Did you hear that?" Niko asked the others.

They nodded in agreement and stayed quiet. There it was again, this time a little louder.

" _Let me go!"_ It was Lily!

"Come on, this way!" Niko ordered, pointing to the right.

_Hold on, Lily, I'm coming for you!_

* * *

Lily was thankful for her gym membership at that moment. Running on the treadmill had boosted her stamina, but now it was wearing off. Her lungs were burning and her legs screamed for rest, but she couldn't stop, not until she saw a light.

Once she made it to a three-way crossroads, she froze. Which path was she supposed to take? The wrong choice could be the end of her. The adrenaline rush that coursed through her veins only minutes ago ran dry and she felt everything in her body cry out in agony. She fell to the ground and panted for air. Her cuts stung, her bruises throbbed, and she was starting to feel light-headed.

She tried chewing the ropes that still held her wrists together, but they were too strong and she eventually gave up.

A multitude of rapid footfalls sounded to the right of her, but she wasn't sure if they were friendly or not. Were they working for The Night Terror, too? Then she saw beams of light and heard familiar voices. Hope reentered her heart as Linda's voice could be heard giving orders. The Roses had found her! She was safe!

"I'm down here!" Lily called out. Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence and she found it hard to breathe again. She rose to her feet on shaky legs and ran to her rescuers.

"Lily, is that you?" That was Niko! He came for her.

"Niko!"

Black spots dappled her vision and her legs had trouble carrying her further. She was almost home free when a loud bang erupted in the darkness. She screamed when a hot searing pain tore through the side of her leg. She fell forward onto Niko who caught her before she could hit the ground.

Flashlights darted around the tunnel until they rested on one man. Darko Brevic. White hot anger burned in Niko's chest at the sight of the man he spared. Handing Lily off to Roman, Niko took out his pistol and leveled it at Darko who had his own gun drawn.

"Niko, I cannot let her leave! If I do Damir will-"

"Damir?" Niko snarled. "Damir is alive? I should have known it was him doing these things and you would be too much of coward to stand up to him." It all made sense now. He should have seen it coming. "I'm going to end you once and for all. Then once I'm done with you, I'll find your brother and make him suffer for what he's done to Lily."

Darko lowered his weapon, closed his eyes, and accepted his fate. Now the peaceful darkness of the afterlife would finally greet him. Without hesitation, Niko unloaded thirteen rounds into Darko's body, only stopping to reload. Twelve for his fallen friends and one for Lily. It was done. Darko Brevic was finally dead.

"You piece of shit! That was for everyone, that was for me!" Niko growled as blood pooled under his old friend.

"Okay, Niko, it's over! It's all over!" Roman cried.

"Yo, Niko, chill!" added Jacob.

Lily's sobs were the only sounds that pulled Niko from the dark storm that brewed within him. He walked back to her and gently picked her up. She was so light in his arms, that it almost frightened him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she silently cried; Her tears stained his jacket.

"Please, get me out of here! I wanna go  _home!_  I don't want to be in the city anymore! Please, Niko, I can't be here anymore!" Lily begged.

"Alright, alright, I'm getting you out of here. Just hold on." Niko replied softly.

Her crying faded as she took solace in her lover's arms. For the first time in hours, she felt safe. She closed her eyes, letting exhaustion take over her body and soon everything stopped hurting.


	23. Black Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Two: The Simple Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, Part Two! The first few chapters will be shorter, at least that's the plan for now.
> 
> I guess I'll give a little backstory as to why there's a shift in the story. For the last eight years, I had this idea in my head of Niko traveling outside LC and discovering the more rural areas and then I heard that GTA 4 was supposed to have forest areas surrounding the city which fueled my inspiration all the more. Lily has been in development for a least five years. But she never had a name. I always intended for her to be Native American, but I never had her tribe or personality figured out. She was always going to be much younger than Niko, but slightly mature for her age. I pictured them on the run from something, hiding from an unknown evil out in the country. I just didn't know what they were running from. Even when I started writing Shadows, I still didn't have a clue what would happen next. Anyway, thanks to those of you have been following this story from the beginning. Here is The Simple Life:

**October 2009**

The street lamp from outside cast its green glow through the blinds of a cabin, leaving green lines across the bed. Somewhere deep in the forest, an owl hooted and a coyote sang to the full moon as crickets chirped and the whippoorwills gave their signature call into the night. In each cabin, their occupants slept soundly. All except one.

Niko sat by the window in a humble cabin that had not been updated since the days of disco. He peeked out the blinds and watched the roads for any signs of suspicious late night visitors. He moved from the window and turned his attention to the woman sleeping soundly on the bed. He studied her curves outlined under the sheets and blamed himself for the thousandth time. He was also mad at Roman, but it didn't last. He couldn't stay angry at his cousin for very long.

For the last five days, Lily fought a fever brought on by going into shock. It was finally breaking, but she still couldn't hold food down and her cuts and bruises had only healed some. She didn't talk much and slept most of the time. Sometimes she woke up in the night crying and all he could do was hold her until she calmed down.

The moment he got her out of the tunnels, he did exactly as she asked and took her away from the city. He didn't know where he was going, but he knew she couldn't be in Liberty City anymore. So he drove as far and as fast as his Sabre would take them. Hours later, buildings grew smaller until they eventually faded into suburbs, suburbs disappeared and were replaced with tall skinny trees. By dawn, they found themselves in a small town called Primrose. Lily snapped out of it long enough to inform him of a place that rented cabins. The sun was rising over the trees when they arrived at Miss Maude's Cabin Rental. They picked a one bedroom closest to the main office before finally going to bed.

Niko didn't want to stay in the cabin for much longer, but Lily was too embarrassed to show up at her parents' doorstep bruised and battered. In fact, she never left the cabin as she was too ashamed to be seen by other people.

The Steel Roses had arrived at the cabin two days later with some of Lily and Niko's stuff. He didn't know how they got into his apartment, but he didn't care. At least he finally had a fresh pair of clothes.

Then there was Roman who was scared for Mallorie's safety. He sent her and Mijo to live with her mother in Bohan for awhile. After Niko killed Darko, Roman thought that Damir would retaliate and go after Mallorie, but she wasn't worried. She also found out about Roman's gambling and screamed at him in angry Spanish for three hours straight. Now she wasn't speaking to him at all.

Lily shifted under the covers and whimpered. He knew what was about to happen. In a matter of seconds, she shot out of bed and made a mad dash to the bathroom. Niko listened helplessly as she heaved and gagged before the crackers and ginger ale she had for dinner come up. It felt as if it lasted for much longer than it actually did. Once it was over, he heard running water as Lily brushed her teeth. She came back out, her long ebony hair curtaining her face as she shuffled back to the bed. She always fell back asleep afterward, but this time, she lied awake and watched Niko, who was watching her.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I was going to ask you the same question," he replied.

The street lamp revealed a tiny smile that formed on her face. It was the first time he saw it since that night. "Well, my throat hurts, my back hurts, and my boobs hurt."

He raised a brow. "Your...  _boobs_  hurt?"

"I guess I'm still achy from being sick." She paused to yawn and nestled under the covers. "So, are you okay? You haven't been to bed yet."

"I can't sleep."

"Come to bed. You'll feel better once you lay down."

There was silence between them again. Lily's eyelids grew heavy and before long, she was asleep again. Niko decided to join her. Even if he couldn't sleep, at least he could feel her skin next to his.

Her feverish body burned, and yet she still shivered.

He sighed and eventually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next morning Niko was making himself breakfast when Lily came limping into the kitchen. She was still recovering from her gunshot wound, but thankfully, the bullet only grazed her leg and didn't do any major damage. Every time Niko saw her injury, he wished he could have smashed Darko's skull in, but he supposed that shooting him would have to do.

She walked passed Niko and grabbed two slices of bread for dry toast and honey. While she waited for her meal she poured herself a small glass of orange juice knowing she would probably regret it within the hour.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Niko asked as he flipped a slice of bacon.

She shrugged and limped over the cabinet that contained the jar of farm honey.

He didn't know what to do for her. He tried looking for the answers on the internet and all of them said to be careful with her, to comfort her, and make her feel safe. He was trying to do all three, but he wasn't sure if she'd ever be herself again.

_I have to be patient with her. Damir may not have raped her, but what he did was just as bad. When I see him again, I will do more than put a bullet in his skull. I will make him suffer for what he's done to Lily and all those other women._

They ate their breakfast in silence. Neither knew what to say to the other.

As Lily chewed her toast, she happened to look down at what Niko was eating. Eggs, bacon, and toast. A typical morning meal, but she saw it differently. The runny yolk oozed from its white casing, she could see the beads of grease form on top of the bacon. The entire sight before her made her stomach lurch. Her hand quickly flew to her mouth and she launched from her chair to run at full speed to the bathroom. She spit out the toast and puked up the rest of it plus the orange juice. She felt her hair being pulled away from her face as she finished losing the rest of her breakfast. After it was over, she took in gulps of air as she breathed raggedly. When she straightened herself and opened her eyes, a glass of water was shoved under her nose. She turned her head to find Niko standing beside her with a look of worry on his face. She gave him a grateful smile and took the glass from his hand.

"Better?" He asked while she rinsed her mouth out.

She nodded and took out her toothbrush. "For now. Thanks for holding back my hair."

"You should get some rest."

She spit out the toothpaste and rinsed her mouth again. "It seems all I do is rest, but it's so hard staying in the real world. It's also hard to sleep because I still… I still see him in my sleep and I can still feel his filthy hands all over me." She grimaced at the memory. "I've never been so scared before. I thought he was going to kill me." She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

Niko wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in. He worried any type of intimacy would startle her, but she relaxed into him and circled her arms around his waist.

"You're safe now," he said softly.

"When he was on top of me, crushing me with his weight, I thought about you and how you would feel if I died. I was scared you wouldn't recover from my death. I thought of what you said about Kate..." She swallowed. "I didn't want you to lose your way again." She buried her face in his shirt and silently cried.

He ran his fingers through her silky, black hair. "I think I am still lost, but you make navigating through this fucked up world a little easier." He tilted up her chin and kissed her forehead. "Come on, you need to go back to bed."

She sniffled and shook her head. "I want to go for a walk. It's been so long since I've been surrounded by nature."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? You don't look so good."

"Maybe some fresh air will do me some good?"

She looked as if she would fall over any minute. They could go for a walk anytime, but for now, she needed rest. She yawned and pressed herself against him. Without much complaint from her, he guided her to the bedroom and helped her to bed. She mumbled something he couldn't quite understand before she dozed off. He tucked the blankets and kissed her temple before leaving the room.

He went back into the kitchen, cleaned it up, and took out his Desert Eagle for cleaning. A mundane task that he hoped would keep his mind off the events that had unfolded days earlier, but the memories and anger that came with it replayed in his mind. Lily's look of horror when she was shot, Darko standing there holding a gun, and the fury Niko felt when he saw the man he once considered a friend.

The first time Niko had a chance to kill Darko, he thought it easier for the man to continue wallowing in the guilt and pain. Darko would be swallowed alive by that fucking city anyways or so Niko thought. He never imagined Damir Brevic was still alive. Last he heard, Damir was struck by a car in Italy and was killed. After that, he never thought much of the eldest Brevic brother.

Damir was the village bully who ran to his mother anytime he was accused of doing something wrong. When the war broke out, everyone hoped Damir would be sent off to fight, but when he was turning of age, his mother chopped off his trigger finger to keep him out of the war. He stayed in the village and continue to torment the children and animals. When Niko and Roman were in their early teens, Damir took a shovel to Roman's dog, almost killing it. Niko went after Damir that day and walked away with a black eye and broken wrist, but Niko had blooded Damir's nose and left a bruise on his cheek. It wasn't much, but it sent the message to Damir that Niko wasn't afraid of him. From then on, if the other kids had a problem with Damir, they turned to Niko.

For twenty-one years, the village put up with Damir Brevic, until he was caught down the river forcing himself on Jelena. It was the first time Niko felt something snap inside of him and he lost all control. He barely remembered that fight; only the aftermath when everyone told their side of the story and Damir was run off. His enabling mother pitched a fit, claiming that Jelena was a whore and she deserved it.

He moved on from the incident, never giving Damir any though, until now…

The gun was cleaned and reassembled. Niko left the clip out for the time being and hid it away for safe keeping. He wasn't going to use it unless he absolutely had to.

The rest of the day was spent reading the paper or trying to watch TV. Niko found it hard to focus on either. He eventually went into the bedroom to check on Lily. She was still sleeping. One leg was hanging off the bed, both arms were above her head, and her hair was fanned out underneath her. Her chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm that told him she was at peace in her dreams.

Someone began to pound at the door, making Niko almost flinch. He quickly left the room, shutting the door behind him. He made his way down the hall and to the living-room.

"Niko, Lily, are you in there?! Open up!"

It was Janie. Shit.

Niko yanked opened the door. The half Lakota woman pushed past him into the house without being invited in. She stamped into the living-room and stood there with her balled up fists on her hips. She was dressed in a baggy sweater with skinny jeans and tennis shoes. Her dark-brown hair was pulled back into a bun. A far cry from more the glamorous looks she usually had.

"What are you doing here?" Niko asked.

Her eyes narrowed at the Serb and she said, "I want to see Lily and I want to know what's going on. First, she doesn't come home from work, then I get a text from her the next morning from your phone telling me not to worry that she had to get away, and  _then_ some trailer trash looking bikers barge into  _my_  house demanding to know where Lily's stuff was. I think I have a right to know what the fuck happened the other night!"

Niko crossed his arms. "If Lily wanted you to know what happened she would have told you. How did you find us?"

"She told me where she was so I wouldn't worry, but these last few days all I've done  _is_  worry. What have you done to my cousin?"

"Nothing!" Niko replied. He trying to stay calm, but he didn't know how long that was going to last.

"Don't lie to me, Niko!" she snapped. She pointed an accusing finger at him. "I know about your criminal history and it was a lot worse than a few drug deals. My friend used to know Elizabeta and she said she used to see you at some of that drug dealer's parties. I know what you've done for her and I've heard other stories as well! You have-"

"Janie? Why are you shouting?"

They turned their heads at the sound of a meek voice from the hallway. Lily was leaning against the wall, her messy, unkempt hair covering half her face.

Janie quickly rushed to Lily and pulled her into a hug. "Oh my god, I was so worried about you. Lily, what happened? You know you can tell me anything!"

"Lily, you need to rest," Niko added.

"You stay out of this, Euro-trash!" Janie said.

Inside, Niko was bristling, but outside he kept up the appearance that Janie's words had little effect on him.

"Janie, you will not speak to Niko that way!" Lily said, pushing Janie away.

"He's the reason you're in whatever mess you're in and… are those bruises!" She grabbed Lily's hands and turned them over. "Jesus Christ, Lily, what on earth happened?" She spun around to face Niko, her eyes blazing with fury. "I swear to God if you did this!"

" _Stop!_ " Lily cried. "Can I finally speak now? Niko isn't to blame for anything."

Lily sat Janie down and told her everything that happened down in the tunnels. The Night Terror, attempted rape, her escape and trying to find her way in the darkness, and being shot in the leg. Janie sat and listened with a look of shock and horror on her face. When Lily was finally finished, she broke down with Janie doing the same. Niko stood back and let the two women cry on each others' shoulder. When the crying stopped and their eyes were dry, Janie stood up and approached Niko.

He waited for her to hurdle more insults his way, but she surprised him when she said, "Thank you for saving her. I'm sorry for what I said."

Niko gave a nod. He wanted to stay angry at her, but for Lily's sake he pushed down his anger and accepted the apology. He understood in a way. If it were Roman in danger, Niko would have been the same way. "It is understandable, I guess," Niko said.

"But I'm still worried about her." She sat beside Lily again and placed her hand on her cousin's forehead. "You're warm. Have you been drinking plenty of fluids?"

Lily rolled her eyes. Janie could be such a mother hen at times. "Yes, it's all I've been able to keep down and even then I still get sick."

Janie raised a brow. "And how long have you been sick?"

"Since we arrived here. Niko said it's a symptom of going into shock."

Lily looked at Niko who nodded. "I've seen it before in the past."

Janie's brows furrowed. "I see. Lily, I'm going to get you some cold and flu medicine from the store. Maybe some crackers and ginger ale, too?"

"It's nice of you to offer, but you don't have to do that," Lily said.

Janie stood and dusted off her pants. "You're my cousin and it's my job to look after you. I'll be right back." Lily knew there wasn't any way to change Janie's mind. She let the older woman leave who promised she'd come back soon.

A few moments later, Niko fell onto the couch beside his girlfriend. Lily pressed herself against him and laid her head on his shoulder. The excitement of Janie's sudden visit had drained Lily. All she wanted now was to fall asleep and not wake up for the next ten years. She was worried she'd never feel right again.

Niko's arm stretched across her shoulders and rested on the side of her arm. She smiled as his warmth crept into her bare skin. She would always feel safe with Niko around.

"I'm sorry for the things Janie said to you," Lily said.

Niko shrugged as his hand slowly moved up and down her arm. "People have said worse to me."

"Still, she could have handled it better." She lifted her head and looked into his auburn eyes. "Do you still want to take me to my family's farm?"

"We'll go whenever you are ready."

She placed her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes. "Thank you. I don't think I can ever step foot in the city again. Everyone was right, I can't make it there. I'm sorry, Niko, I hope you don't mind a long distance relationship."

"I'll stay with you until you have settled in. Then I have to check on Roman and begin looking for Damir Brevic."

"You still haven't told how you know him."

"I guess now is the time." So he told her his history with the Brevic brothers. He told her of Damir torturing and killing animals, Damir beating on the other kids, Damir peeking into windows while girls dressed, and then he had to her about Jelena. It wasn't easy and he swore he saw Lily become jealous, but she tried to mask it. He went on to explain the war, the ambush, and how he spent ten years searching for Darko, only to find, he couldn't pull the trigger. Once he finished, Lily didn't know what to say. All she could do was wrap her arms around his neck and cried.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you. You were so young and to go through something like at your age… I can't imagine," she whispered.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, baffled. "It was a long time ago, Lily. I'm trying to move on from it."

She pulled away, the tears still streaming down her face. She hated that she cried at the drop of a hat now. Niko was probably sick of it. "I d-d-don't mean to-to cry s-so much, but I love you and I h-hate to see you s-suffer!" Her hand clasped his. "I can see it still h-hurts you..."

He smoothed her hair from her face and wiped away her tears. "I am okay at the moment. It's something that will always stick with me but I'm fine. I promise."

She wasn't sure if she believed him, but she was too tired to argue about it and besides, she didn't want to ruin this moment. It had been days since Niko gave her any affection. She knew why he hadn't. She hadn't been in a position to give or receive affection the last few days.

"Calm down before you make yourself sick," Niko added.

She nodded and took a breath to calm her nerves. He kissed her forehead, giving her a warm, happy feeling. Things were fucked up, but at least she still had Niko.

Janie came back fifteen minutes later with four grocery bags in her hands. She bought a mild pain and fever reliever, ginger ale, Sprunk, a few canned goods, fresh fruit, and some crackers. Lily felt helpless as Niko and Janie put away the groceries while they made her stay on the couch. Once they finished, Janie asked to speak with Lily in private. Lily reluctantly agreed, worried as to what they were supposed to talk about. The moment Lily shut the bedroom door behind them, Janie presented her cousin with a curious item.

"Janie, why on earth would you buy that?!" Lily asked, shocked as she looked over the pregnancy test.

"You've been sick right? Didn't you say your period was late, too?"

Lily held the box in her hand, feeling ill at the thought that she could be pregnant. It was impossible. She was on the pill! "You know I'm taking birth control right?" Lily said, annoyed. "And I had my period, remember? You even said the pill lightens them so I'm fine."

"And you never missed a pill?"

She swallowed and tried to remember if she had or not. Goddamnit, why did Janie have to do this to her now? "I take it every day!" she snapped.

Janie shook her head. "Lily you have the worst memory ever. Look, you don't have to take the test now. Give it a week. If you're still feeling sick, then I suggest you take the test to put yourself at ease."

"I guess so." Lily finally caved in. It was better than arguing with her cousin. Lily fell onto the bed and buried her face in her hands. This was all too much for her right now. First, she was almost murdered, and now there was a possibility she was pregnant. "I think I need to rest now."

"Sure, I need to be heading back anyway. I'm still making preparations to move. I'll see you later." Janie gave Lily one last hug before leaving the cabin.

Lily shoved the box under the bed before crawling under the covers and pulling the blankets over her head. She tried sleeping, but her troubled mind kept her awake. She told Jessie she would let whatever happen, happen, but now that there was a chance, she didn't know how to feel. She and Niko had only been together what, six, seven months? It wasn't like she was keeping track. She groaned, sat up, and hugged herself, trying to fight back a painful lump growing in her throat.

_I won't make a good mother. I'm too weak and cowardly to fight for myself, what makes me think I could stand up for my own baby? I'm useless…_

For the hundredth time that day she broke down, letting her emotions wash over her and pull her under into a vengeful sea of despair, anger, and a sense of hopelessness.

_I fear darker days will be raining over me..._


	24. New Life

A week passed, Lily's bruises faded, her cuts scarred over, and her nightmares lessened. The only problem that remained was nausea and vomiting. She feared that Janie's assumptions were in fact true.

She got out of the bed early one morning, just as the sun was peeking over the tall pine trees. Beside her, Niko slept peacefully, unaware that his life might change forever. She carefully got out of bed and reached for the box underneath, then tip-toed to the bathroom. She shivered as her bare feet touched the cold tile floor. The box was carefully opened as to not make a sound. She tipped it at an angle and out fell the white and pink device. Her heart thudded in her chest as she held it up. After reading the instructions twice, she plucked off the pink cap and took the test. She placed the cap back after she finished and decided to take a shower while she waited for the results.

She tossed her clothes to the floor and stepped into the tub. Hot water blasted her tan skin while she worked her hair into a soapy lather. There was nothing like a hot, relaxing shower to make her feel better.

As she scrubbed and shaved, she wondered what her family was going to say once she arrived back home. She dreaded her step mother's "I told you so" attitude. If that woman was right she wasn't afraid to rub it in everyone's faces. Annette had been the first to protest against Lily leaving for the city.

_The city is dangerous._

_You could be mugged._

_You'll get raped._

Lily shook her head. There were times when she wished her own mother were still alive. Would she have nagged her, as Annette often did or be supportive and loving? She placed a hand on her stomach and hoped her family wouldn't completely lose it over the bab if there was one.

Her memory couldn't be that bad. She tried to remember if there was a time she had forgotten a pill, but nothing came to mind. She even checked her pill case to see if she was behind, but she was caught up. It was only shock. That was all it was. Once she was over it, the sickness would stop.

She stayed in the shower longer than she thought. Eventually, the water turned cold, snapping her out of the trance she found herself in. She stepped out of the shower, refusing to even glance at the device on the sink. After wrapping a towel around herself, she grabbed the test that would decide her fate and walked into the bedroom.

Niko was awake by the time she was done in the bathroom. She froze at the sight of him sitting up in bed. He rubbed his temples and groaned.

He hated getting up early.

His gaze drifted from his lap to Lily, who was standing in the doorway, covered by a towel, wide-eyed, and holding something in her hand. She looked surprised to see him awake and quickly became nervous.

"What are you doing awake?" she asked as she walked into the room. She grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and quickly began to dress. He noticed she hid the item in the towel.

"I woke up," he replied. Then added, "What are you hiding?"

She stepped into a pair of fuzzy pajama pants, refusing to look at him. "It's nothing… at least it might be." She grabbed her Love Fist shirt that she was fond of wearing and began brushing her hair.

"It might be nothing? I don't follow."

"It's exactly what it means. It might be nothing. Just get dressed and meet me in the kitchen. If it is something, I'll tell you."

"Why are you talking in riddles?"

"Please, just meet me in the kitchen. This isn't easy for me."

Before he could say anything else, Lily was out of the room, leaving him to wonder what the hell was going on. He hoped she wasn't going to break up with him. He knew she wasn't herself lately, but she wouldn't do that. Great. Now she had him paranoid. He threw off the covers and dressed for the day.

He found her in the kitchen leaning against the counter, arms folded across her chest, and shoulders slumped. She was looking down at her bare feet as she tried to breathe evenly. Her eyes met his and she swallowed. Behind her, he caught a glimpse of that strange device.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She chewed on her bottom lip nervously. Time seemed to tick by slowly as she struggled to say what was on her mind. He wished she would hurry the hell up and just say whatever it was.

He noticed the tears brimming in her eyes and wrapped his arms around her.  _Here we go again…_ "What's wrong?" he repeated.

"What I'm about to tell you will change both of our lives forever. Niko, I'm pregnant. I just took a test and it's positive," she said quietly.

Shock rippled through him at that moment. He thought maybe he heard her wrong. He tried to get a grip on the feelings that coursed through him. He was frightened at the idea of becoming a father and strangely enough, happy. Happiness should not have been an emotion he was supposed to be feeling with everything that had recently happened, but there it was. The fear, however, was stronger and it was making his heart race at a speed he hadn't felt in a long time. He had been through war, charged head-on into dangerous buildings full of dangerous men, and faced powerful people who could have him killed if they so wished, but here he was scared of something no bigger than a pea. Never having a proper father of his own, Niko wasn't sure how he was going to do this.

She looked up at him with uncertainty as her eyes searched his for any kind of answer. "Niko, please say something," she choked out.

"I don't know what  _to_  say," he admitted.

"Are you mad?"

He shook his head. "I am feeling many things right now, but anger isn't one of them." He moved his hands up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her. It seemed to be working for the moment. "Lily, I want you to know that our child will never have to worry about anything. I will make sure of that."

A tiny smile formed on her face even as the tears trickled down her cheeks. He cupped the side of her face, while his thumb wiped away a tear.

"This all so overwhelming," she whispered. "I thought if this ever happened, I would be happy, but I don't have any right to feel that way."

He brushed a black lock away from her face. "Why do you think that?" he asked.

Her bottom lip trembled and she tried to swallow down the knot in her throat. "Because I'm weak. I'm not strong enough to protect my baby from danger. If I were more like Jessie-"

"That is ridiculous," he said, cutting her off. "You'll do fine. Physical strength does not determine whether or not someone will be a good parent."

She sniffled and wiped away her tears. "I used to think I could do it, but after Damir..." her voice trailed and she found herself crying again. "I can't stop thinking about what happened."

"It will take time, but we'll get through this," he tried to reassure her.

Lily closed her eyes and circled her arms around him. She began to feel somewhat at ease for the first time in weeks. Maybe things would get better once she went back to the ranch. Seeing her horse again and the open fields would do her some good. Nothing bad ever happens on the ranch. She only hated that she was returning with her tail between her legs, but with Niko by her side, it wouldn't be that bad.

She looked up at him to see all the love he had for her reflecting in his auburn eyes. Her heart was racing again, this time in a good way. Never had she felt this much love for someone before. She stood on her tip-toes, cupped his face, brought his lips closer to hers before kissing him. He gladly accepted the kiss after they both were deprived of that level of affection for so long. She pressed her hips against his and he ran his hand up and down her curves as the kiss became more intense. She could feel what he wanted and she was wanting it, too. Soft hands moved under his shirt, trailing his chest, and giving him gooseflesh.

"Is this going to be okay?" Niko asked after reluctantly breaking the kiss.

Lily nodded. "Of course it is."

"I won't hurt you or the baby?"

She laughed softly as she circled her arms around his torso. "It will be fine. You won't hurt either of us. Now, please, I know you and I both have been craving this for a while." She kissed him again, took his hand, and guided him to the bedroom.

* * *

When Niko was a boy, his father was sort of nice to him. Sure he was an ill-tempered drunk and sometimes told Niko he would always be a nobody, but Zoron Bellic did teach his son to hunt, fight, and other life "skills" he deemed important. Whenever Niko did a good job on a task around the farm, Zoron gave his boy a pat on the head and sip of alcohol. When they went into town, he took him inside some of the bars and would proudly say, "This is my son!" and everyone would tell Niko how lucky he was to have a father like Zoron. For a while, Niko was proud of his father and hoped to be just like him when he grew up. Even though they were poor, Zoron always had something for Niko. In his eyes, Zoron could do nothing wrong, even when his father lost his temper and yelled at him.

As much as he loved his father, he knew deep down that Zoron was a ticking time-bomb. He only hoped that he would defuse someday. Then when Niko was eight, he noticed changes in his mother. She was sluggish, sick, and would occasionally become dizzy. He didn't give it much thought until he heard his parents fighting one night.

" _We can't afford another! What were you thinking!"_ Zoron shouted.

Niko crept out of bed and tip-toed down the hall to hear them better. Not that his father was exactly quiet.

" _I didn't do anything!"_  Milica frantically cried.

" _Exactly! Now I have to work twice as hard. I don't even like the boy we have now, why would I want another?"_

Niko's eyes widened at his father's words. Zoron would become frustrated with Niko at times, but did he really hate him? Heartbroken, Niko slipped back behind the wall and silently made his way back to his room. He crawled into bed and stared at the wall as tears stung his eyes. He wasn't loved or wanted. He was a burden to everyone around him. It was all his fault that his parents struggled. In that moment, he wished he was never born.

Seven months later, Niko was staring at the infant that squirmed in the crib. He glowered at the newborn, wishing he didn't have a brother, but the longer he looked at the helpless baby, the more he felt protective of it. He didn't understand why. The baby was the reason his father had confessed he didn't love Niko.

" _Would you like to hold him?"_  His mother asked.

Niko shook his head. He didn't like the baby and didn't want to like the baby, but after some prodding from his mother, he finally gave in and sat across the room in an old wooden chair. He scowled as Milica showed him how to properly hold the baby's head. As he looked down at his little brother held carefully in his arms, the anger he felt moments ago melted. Protective instincts overwhelmed and he made a vow that he would never let anything bad happen to Josef.

* * *

"Here take these," Niko said holding out a bottle of vitamins and a glass of water.

Lily raised a brow and gingerly took the bottle. "You want me to take a vitamin?"

"Mallorie used to take them. I'm assuming you will, too."

She giggled looked the bottle over. She knew pregnant women took them but she thought it was a special kind. Looking up at Niko, she realized he wasn't going anywhere until she took them. She sighed and agreed. The vitamins were awful and wouldn't go down easy. She had to drink an entire glass of water, grimacing as it made its way down her throat.

"Gross! I can't believe I have to take those things every day for the next nine months. I guess it's worth it," Lily said as she set the bottle aside. She picked up a book that Niko bought her earlier that day and opened it.

"Do you need anything else?"

She couldn't help but feel giddy at how caring he was. "No, I'm fine and don't worry about me, I can get it myself."

"Are you sure?"

She rolled her eyes and continued reading. It was adorable that he was attentive to her, but it would eventually become grating on her nerves. She could see it now. She wasn't helpless, but she hadn't exactly been motivated to take care of herself lately. All she needed was to go home to Madison and everything would be okay. That's what she kept telling herself at least, but she dreaded Annette's nagging.

Niko sat at the other end of the couch and she moved closer to him. She pressed her head against his leg. He looked down at her and raised a brow at her odd behavior. She gave him a sheepish smile while placing her head on his lap. She had strange behavior, but Niko was thankful to see her smiling and laughing again. He ran his fingers through her hair while she read her book.

Across the room was an old box TV. Because there was nothing else to do, he decided to see what was on, even though he hated TV, it was something. He turned it on only to be met with static. He flipped through each channel, but there was still only static.

"Everything is digital now," Lily said, not looking up from her book.

"What are you talking about?"

"Over the summer, the FCC switch everything to digital. Analog is basically dead, making those rabbit ears on the TV obsolete without a converter box."

He switched off the remote and dropped it on the end table. "There's nothing to do."

"We can go for a walk or maybe rob a liquor store?"

He looked down at her. "Rob a liquor store?"

"Yes, we can be a regular Bonnie and Claude." Lily sat up, shut her book, and stood up from the couch. "Come on, let's go walking on the trail."

She dressed in her attire for the autumn weather and joined Niko outside. The bright sun made her flinch when she stepped out. In the last two weeks, she had kept herself in darkness in case Damir was still out there.

_I can't keep thinking there's danger around each corner..._

They walked down an old trail she and her brothers used to take when they were younger. Ten years had passed since then but as they traveled deeper into the forest, her memories slowly came to her. The serenity of the forest was almost healing for her. She didn't have anxiety as she did when surrounded by tall buildings or having to cross a busy street. There wasn't a creepy passenger to dive around, or sirens blaring all hours of the night. Just birds chirping, and the small forest critters chattering. Lily didn't like moving to Liberty City, but at the time she felt she didn't have a choice. Deep down, she always knew she belonged in the country. The only upside to her life in the city was meeting Niko.

The European mentioned, stayed silent as well during their hike. She wondered what he must have been thinking. Maybe he was relieved too. He always expressed his disgust for the fast-paced life of Liberty City and often longed for home.

When they made it to an old swimming hole, they sat down beside each other on a large boulder and watched as turtles rested on a single log.

The lake shimmered in the sun and water lapped against the rock, making Lily long for home all the more.

_I don't want my baby born in the city. I want him or her to grow up in a place like this._

"Niko?" Lily's soft voice pulled his attention away from the lake.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I know you don't want to be away from Roman, but I've been thinking and I know it's too soon, but I want our child to live in a place like this. I don't want them living in the city."

She looked down her shoes, waiting for him to tell her no, but to her surprise, he took her hand and said, "I'd like that, too."

She looked up at him and smiled.

_Everything's going to be okay. I need to keep telling myself that._

* * *

Lily retired early for the night, leaving Niko by himself again. He couldn't sleep so he paced around the cabin, trying to find something to entertain himself with. He thought of calling Roman to tell him about Lily, but she had begged Niko not to tell anyone until she told her family. Still, he had to talk to someone about it. He took out his phone and dialed the number to the only person he knew he could turn to.

The phone rang four times before someone on the other end answered, when he heard how tired she was, he felt guilty, remembering that it was early in the morning in Serbia.

" _Hello, Niko is that you?"_ Milica Bellic asked on the other end.

" _It is me, mother. I am sorry to wake you. I forgot about the time, but it is really important."_

" _Oh? Is everything alright? Roman is not in trouble again, is he?"_

Niko chuckled. _"No, it isn't Roman. I do not know how to say this and when I tell you, you must keep it a secret, but… I am going to become a father."_

There was silence on the other end. Niko thought for a moment that they had a bad connection until she finally spoke.  _"Are you sure? Roman told me you were seeing a girl, but you never said anything about_ _it_ _to me."_

" _I'm sorry, mother. I should have told you about Lily sooner, but yes, we are certain."_

" _I hope you are happy about it."_

He leaned back in the armchair and smiled.  _"Yes, I think I am, but I am also nervous."_

Milica giggled on the other end.  _"Father-to-be nervousness is natural, but you have nothing to worry about._ _You will make a good father, son. It's not an easy task, but I trust you will make the right choices and guide your child down the right path. I am sorry your own father could not do the same for you, but_ _you still came out good, Niko_ _."_

His heart warmed at her words.  _"Thank you, mother."_

" _Now,"_  she began in a more serious tone. _"About the wedding..."_

Niko sat up abruptly. _"What wedding?"_

" _This girl, Lily, she is having your child, yes? Do you plan on marrying her?"_

" _If she'll have me."_

" _Then you must propose soon!"_

" _I, uh, I am going to work on that. I promise."_

" _Good. Now, I must go. There are chores to be done this morning. I love you, son, and goodbye."_

" _I love you, too. Goodbye, mother."_

The call ended, but Niko still held his phone in his hand. His mother's words eased his nerves, if only a little, but now there was the topic of marriage. He admitted that the thought hadn't crossed his mind when Lily told him she was pregnant. The news was shocking enough and it felt like a hard kick to the gut. He still felt a prickly feeling in the pit of stomach every time he really thought about it.

Now that marriage was on his mind, he found himself even more restless. He would have to propose soon, but the time had to be right and he didn't want her to feel like he was only marrying her because of the baby. He remembered his father once complaining that he only married his mother because she was pregnant. Niko made a vow that he would never let Lily or their child feel like a burden to him.

He made his way down the hall and entered the bedroom. Lily was on her back, fast asleep with one hand on her stomach and the other above her head. Her hair was fanned out underneath her. He crawled into bed beside her and studied her sleeping form. When his eyes drifted down to her flat stomach, he felt something warm envelope his heart. He placed a hand on her stomach as the feeling overwhelmed him. He didn't even know who this child was going be and yet, he loved it already, but just as fast as the feeling came over him, it went away and was replaced with something darker.

_You really think you're worthy of this? How many fathers have you taken from children? How many men have wives out there right now, wishing to see their husbands again because of you? You don't deserve this! How will your child feel knowing their father is truly a monster?_

Niko sighed and withdrew his hand. That voice in his mind was right. He didn't deserve this and someday Lily would find out just how violent his past crimes truly were. She would probably turn away from him, and never let him see their child. If he were honest, he wouldn't blame her for it.

He closed his eyes and dozed off. Tomorrow would be another day.

Tomorrow they would have to face Lily's family.

* * *

In a small house in Alderney, Jessie was stepping out of the shower and began to towel off her hair when a gush of warm liquid ran down her legs and splashed onto the white tile. She gasped in horror when she realized what it was.

She wasn't due yet.

There were three weeks to go.

This couldn't be happening now!

She threw open the door and cried out to Johnny: "Get my truck ready, it's time!"


	25. Starting Over

Her abdominal muscles contracted and reminded her of a leg cramp. This, however, was ten times worse than anything she had felt before. Not only was there pain in her stomach, but it had moved down to her legs, while her nether regions hurt the least. Her head throbbed and felt as if it would pop any moment. Even though she had an epidural, it wore off too soon and all pain came back at full force. Now she was in agony, wishing someone would put her out of her misery.

To her left was Johnny, who looked as if he was ready to run, and on the right was Linda. Her vice-president and best friend stayed quiet the entire time, never once complaining about how hard Jessie clutched her hand. Johnny complained every time she squeezed too hard but a threatening glare from both women made him stop.

Jessie found that talking or any noise for that matter, made everything hurt more. She also found that she hated her hippy midwife's bubbly voice, but lucky for Cornflower, Jessie liked her enough to be nice or at least try to be. Johnny thought the woman was an odd choice, but he didn't care because it was Jessie that was going to be doing most of the work. He was fine staying ignorant to pregnancy and childbirth.

She did her best to tolerate the pain, but once she could feel the pressure of the baby's head and a strong urge to push, it became unbearable. She screamed until her throat was raw, squeezed the life out of Johnny and Linda's hands, and told Johnny constantly what a bastard he was for doing this to her. He stayed quiet and let her raise hell while she brought their child into the world.

Beads of sweat dotted her forehead and strands of dark brown hair stuck to her temples. She was losing strength and wasn't sure she could keep going. She looked at Johnny, her green eyes glimmering with tears and a silent plea to help her when she knew there was nothing he could do. He silently wished he could take her pain away, but all he could do was helplessly watch as this dramatic act of nature took place before him.

Just when she thought all her strength had been zapped from her body, Cornflower informed her that all she needed was one more push. Jessie mustered up what little energy she had left, bore down, and pushed one more time. Finally, a wet, wiggly infant was held up in front of her. She fell back against the bed, weary, but proud.

At last, her child had entered the world.

"It's a boy!" Cornflower happily cried.

She heard Johnny laugh beside her. "I guess I was right."

Linda began to sob and wrapped her arms around Jessie. "He's so beautiful!"

"Jesus Christ, Heder, pull yourself together," Jessie rasped.

The newborn was wrapped loosely in a white blanket and placed in Jessie's arms. By now, his cries had subsided and looked up at her with his big blue eyes. Suddenly, she realized nothing else mattered except him.

Before she could ask Johnny if he wanted to hold their son, the baby was taken from her arms and whisked away for his first bath. She wanted to hold him a little longer, but it was time to tend to Jessie. The afterbirth was removed(quite painfully), she was stitched up, and given an ice pack for her nether regions to reduce the swelling. By then, Linda had left the room to inform the others about Jessie and the baby's condition.

Dawn was peaking over the city by the time the baby was given back to his parents. Jessie weakly held him while Johnny stood not from the bed. He wanted to hold his son, but he was afraid he'd break the baby.

"What are we gonna call him?" Jessie asked.

As odd as it was, the new parents had yet to decide on names for their child. Jessie had a few names in mind, but none of them went well with Klebitz.

"I don't know. I thought you had the name picked out by now," Johnny replied.

"I do have a name in mind, actually: Rusty-James. It's from a book I read in junior high."

He raised a brow. "Really?  _That's_ what you want to call him? Might as well move to a trailer park with that name."

"Oh very funny. His full name will be Russel-James, so you can call him that instead of Rusty."

Johnny scoffed. "Now I'll think of a dog when I call my son Russel."

"Well you didn't come up with any names and I can't call him Jelly Bean anymore. You'll get used to Rusty-James."

"Do I have much of a choice?"

"Nope!" She giggled and gently touched the blond hair on top of Rusty-James' head. "He's gonna look a lot like you when he grows up," she commented.

Johnny took a step forward. "You think so?" He didn't see it. Then again, all babies looked like potatoes to him.

She smiled. "Of course, just look at him, he has your blond hair. Before you know it, he'll have his own motorcycle." She looked up at him and said, "You ain't havin' second thoughts are ya?" She hoped he'd say no, but she couldn't stop him if he did.

He was surprised by her question. "What? No, it's nothin' like that, but I've been thinkin' about something."

"Go on."

This wasn't going to be easy for him. He knew in any other situation, she would have ripped him apart for what he was about to suggest. Now was the only time he could ask her of this. "I want you to quit the Steel Roses."

She blinked and tilted her head. Did she hear him right? Maybe it was his lack of sleep that caused him to make such a strange suggestion. "Are you kiddin' me right now? I can't quit the Roses, Johnny, I'm their fu-, uh, their president. What I do puts bread on the table and will ensure our boy has a good life… well, he'll have a decent life at least."

He pulled up the chair to sit beside her. "Jessie, I was given a job offer a few months ago. It's in San Andreas working for something called Trevor Philips Industries. It's mainly gunrunning and drug smuggling, but this Trevor guy pays decent and you and I'll have a chance to start over. No more Roses, no more of The Lost thinkin' I'm a snitch or a traitor, no more pissed off Deadbeat assholes-"

"Language," she warned.

"We can leave that all behind us. I'll provide for us and you'll never have to worry about anything. If you want, you can work, too. Hell, I don't care, but I think we're better than Alderney and Russel will have more opportunities on the west coast than here."

She adjusted the baby from one arm to the other. "I don't know… I worked my ass off tryin' to get The Steel Roses off the ground. I was nothin' to those other bikers and a lot of 'em still look down on me. I can't just drop everything I've fought tooth and claw for and move across the country."

"Jessie, I don't ask a lot from you. Everyone tells me I need to leash you, but that's not something I want to do. This one time though, I want you to do as I ask."

"Why do you want me to come with you? I'm not keepin' you here. You can leave anytime you want." She looked down at the baby again and touched his cheek. "I don't want us keeping you somewhere you don't want to be," she said quietly.

"I want you there with me, Jess. Both of you."

"Why?"

"Because…" he paused. He figured there was no point in denying it now. Fuck it. "Because I love you."

She snapped up and looked at him. Her green eyes were wide and her mouth was agape. "Johnny..." Her throat tightened as tears stung her eyes. "Don't lie to me! Don't say things you don't mean." Rusty began to fuss in her arms. She gave him a pacifier to calm him for the moment. She looked away from Johnny, too afraid to let him see her cry.

"I don't throw that around unless I mean it. I don't know when it happened or how. It just did, but I love you. Come with me to the west coast and we'll be happy, I promise. And if you don't want to, we'll stay here and that'll be fine by me."

Jessie closed her eyes, forcing out the tears she tried to hold back. He loved her! He actually loved her and after all this time, she thought Rusty was the only thing keeping him around. Now he was willing to stay here with her even if he didn't want to be in Alderney anymore. The west coast, a new life where there's always sunshine, and she would have Johnny and Rusty. It was all so tempting. She opened her eyes, the tears still falling down her face. She really hated these hormones.

"T-this e-entire t-time, I thought y-you didn't love me," she sobbed.

Women. He'd never understand them. One minute she was sweet, the next she wanted to rip someone's face off, and the other, she's crying. He'd never figured her out and during their short time together, he never bothered to try.

"Will you calm down?" he said. "I never told you because I wasn't certain you felt the same way, but I tried to show it. Wasn't _that_ good enough?" She nodded. He grabbed a box of tissues, gave them to her, and took the baby. "Wipe your eyes and quit cryin', you're getting the baby wet." He took his place back in the chair.

As he studied their child, he felt this his chest tighten. Great, her emotional state was rubbing off on him. He hated sappy shit and felt a little embarrassed at the overwhelming love he had for Russel. Looking back, he wanted to deck the guy who snapped at Jessie and walked away when she needed him the most. He was ashamed of his behavior back then, but he would make up for it now.

"Okay," Jessie said quietly. Johnny wasn't sure if he heard her or not.

"What?"

"I said 'okay'. I'll go where ever you go, Johnny."

"You mean it?"

She smiled and nodded. "I'll do it. When I'm able to attend the next club meeting, I'll announce my retirement from the Roses. I think Linda will make a better leader than me, anyway."

To say he was ecstatic was an understatement. "We can leave for San Andreas at the beginning of the year, how's that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan, but Johnny, please, do me a favor and don't get killed. That's all I ask."

Johnny laughed and tussled her hair. She blew an unruly curl from her face and pretended to look mad at him.

"Don't worry, sugar, ain't nothin' happenin' to me."

Of course, Johnny couldn't predict the future. Neither could Jessie, but even she could never have imagined what would happen four years later.

* * *

**Madison, Liberty**

The Bedard house was not what Niko thought it would be.

He looked around the living-room, taking in his surroundings. A Sioux tribal flag hung above the mantle. In front of that, small trinkets and oddities. On each side of the fireplace stood a wooden statue. One of a wolf and the other a bear. The chandelier was made of deer antlers, various pieces of Native American artwork and nature decorated the walls, which were a wooden panel, and the curtains were a royal blue with white trimming that didn't exactly match the rest of it. The entire room was dark and a little depressing.

Roman told him country folk in America were very different than the ones in Europe and judging by what Niko was seeing, he believed it.

The grandfather clock near the stairs ticked loudly in the silent room. Lily's father, step-mother, and her brother and his wife were all there trying their best to take in everything Lily had told them. Her father, Hotah, had an expression of shock and horror on his weather-beaten face. Annette only stood there, shaking her head in disapproval.

"I told you this would happen, didn't I?" Annette said.

Lily chewed her bottom lip and nodded. She pressed herself closer to Niko as she began to feel backed into a corner.

"Why didn't you go to the police?" Yasmine asked.

"I don't trust them," Lily replied. "They would only shame me like all the other women who report assault!"

"So you've finally come home?" Trigg asked.

"I'm done with Liberty City," Lily confessed.

Hotah's gaze rested on Niko. Since they arrived at the Bedard Ranch, no one spoke a word to Niko except for a hello. All of their attention was focused on Lily.

"You rescued my daughter from that madman?" Hotah asked.

"She got herself away from him, but me and a few others helped her out of the tunnels," Niko said.

"You have my thanks, Niko. I've lost one daughter already; I can't lose another." He turned his attention to Lily who stared down at the wooden floor. "Lily, I'm glad you've come home."

Lily nodded but didn't look at her father. "There's something else I have to tell you guys. Um, well… I'm… pregnant." She looked up at her family and waited for them to express their disapproval.

Yasmine stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Lily while trying to contain an excited squeal. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, it's true. I found out yesterday morning," Lily said sheepishly.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I'm so happy for you!" Yasmine giggled and pulled her sister-in-law into a tight hug.

Hotah smiled warmly at his daughter. "You're making me a grandpa again."

"I guess so," Lily replied as Yasmine let go of her.

Trigg took his place beside his wife and said, "Lily, I want you to know that if you need anything we're here for you."

"Thank you."

"Oh, my gosh, Star will be so excited when she gets home from school! You know how much she loves babies!" Yasmine said. Star was Trigg and Yasmine's fifteen-year-old daughter. Lily spent a lot of her preteen years babysitting her.

Annette was the only one so far who had yet to say anything. Her arms were folded across her chest, her lips pursed, and she shook her head again. The entire time he was there, Niko saw that she did not look happy to see him and sometimes he noticed her glaring at him. Janie must have said something before they got there.

Hotah placed a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Can you believe this, Annette?"

He expected his wife to be excited over the news, but instead, she gave a frustrated sigh and said, "Well, Lily, if you think I'll pretend to be happy for you, you are sadly mistaken."

" _Annette!"_  Hotah scolded. "That was uncalled for!"

Annette only shrugged and turned away from the family. "I'm going to tend to my garden." She called over her shoulder. The back door opened and slammed, leaving the rest of the family in awkward silence.

First Janie and now this woman. Niko had a feeling Lily's family would cause a lot of unnecessary hardship for them. Lily hid her feelings surprisingly well, making him think that maybe she was used to this kind of treatment.

"I'm so sorry for that," Trigg said. "She's been a little stressed out lately."

"I see," Lily replied quietly. "Dad, I don't have much money, but I'll do what I can around here."

Her father pulled her into a hug and held her. " _Chunkshi,_  you don't have to worry about anything right now. You've been through a lot. Just relax."

"Lily, I know it isn't much, but you and Niko may stay at the old farmhouse not far from here. It became mine when I bought that land from dad. I have no use for it because we have our own house, but maybe you could use it until you find a more suitable place," Trigg offered.

Lily nodded but didn't say anything.

"Thank you," Niko said.

"Until then, you both can stay the night at our place. We have a spare bedroom," Yasmine added.

Later that day, they had lunch with Trigg and Yasmine. The couple seemed nice and accepting of Niko. Yasmine was not Lakota like he thought. Lily explained that her sister-in-law was Mahican and Scottish mixed and most of her family had lived in Madison for decades. She was a bright and cheery woman who was the town historian. She talked on and on about the history of Madison and how she and Trigg met. Niko sat there trying to listen, but his main focus was on Lily who barely spoke at all.

Trigg was the quieter one of the two, but the moment horses were brought up no one could get him to stop talking. The topic seemed to help Lily out of her shell a little. Both brother and sister discussed different breeds and which was the best one.

Then a certain topic Niko didn't want to think about was brought up.

"What are your plans with my sister?" Trigg asked.

Niko resisted the urge to sigh, but before he could say anything, Yasmine spoke up. "I believe that's for Niko and Lily to decide."

"I only want to make sure my sister is taken care of. Times are hard and-"

"I'll decide what's best for me," Lily butted in.

"Well of course," Yasmine said. "We only want the best for you."

Lily looked down at her glass of lemonade and had a far-off look again. Niko worried he would lose her if he didn't do something soon. For now, he would focus on getting his potential in-laws off his back. "Our plans are not set in stone, but we will do what we think is best when the time is right."

"Let's hope it happens before the baby is born," Trigg said.

Lily looked up at her brother and glared. "Will you think my baby is a bastard?" she inquired, coolly, though Niko could detect the hostility in her voice.

Everyone at the table was taken aback by Lily's anger, except Niko. He could see the storm brewing within her the moment Annette made her comments. He had to think of a way to de-escalate the situation, but before he could say or do anything, Lily abruptly stood up and stormed out of the house. Trigg and Yasmine exchanged concerned glances at each other and looked to Niko for an answer. What could he say? It was a difficult time for her and she needed her space.

Lily pulled up the zipper on her jacket and tightened the hood as she made her way to the barn. She didn't mean to get upset with her family, but who were they to talk about her future? Annette's comments didn't help her feel any better either. Why couldn't Annette be the supportive mother that she needed? It wasn't going to be easy dealing with a nagging step-mother and a pregnancy.

Inside the barn, she found her old friend munching on fresh hay. When the Blood Bay mare saw Lily, she neighed a greeting. Lily hugged Blaze's neck and ran her fingers through the mare's black mane. She breathed in the mare's scent and began to feel calmer. The horse gave a snort and flickered her ears. For weeks The TrailBlazer missed her human, but now that Lily was back, the ache in the mare's heart was gone.

Tears damped Blaze's neck as Lily silently cried. Blaze couldn't understand why Lily was sad, but she wanted to make the human feel better. The mare gave a snort and nuzzled against Lily, trying to give her some form of comfort.

She didn't know how long she had held onto to her horse as she wept, but once she felt she could cry anymore, she sniffled and wiped her eyes and nose on her jacket sleeve. Gross, but she didn't have a tissue. Lily gave a ragged sigh, picked up a brush off the workbench, and groomed Blaze's vibrant red coat. As the brush glided down the mare's back and sides, Lily wondered what was would become of Damir now that Niko had killed his brother. He was going to retaliate, that she knew. She hoped that Mallorie and Mijo would be safe. Bohan wasn't exactly an ideal place to be, but Mallorie was strong.

Unlike Lily.

What if Damir somehow found out where she was staying and went after her? He could bring harm to her family. It felt as if a cold stone had dropped in her stomach and a knot of dread twisted inside of her.

_I can't rely on others forever. It's time I buckled down and stopped being a wimp._

The barn door opened and closed. Lily stopped brushing the mare and turned to see Niko approaching her. She wasn't ready to see him yet or her brother, but she knew one of them would check on her eventually.

"They said you would be out here," Niko said.

He kept a respectable distance from her, which she felt bad. If she had not lashed out at the table, he wouldn't feel the need to stay away from her.

"Is this your horse?" he questioned.

She nodded. "Yeah, this is The Trailblazer or Blaze as I like to call her. My dad gave her to me for my sixteenth birthday. She was just a filly back then."

He stayed where he was and didn't say anything.

"Niko," she said softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to act that way inside." She moved closer and entwined her fingers with his.

"It's okay," he replied.

"No, it's not okay. I was a bitch. I should probably go inside and apologize to my family."

"I'm sure they understand."

"It doesn't matter. Lashing out at them wasn't right. Will you come with me?"

"Of course."

"And Niko, I need help with something..." she wasn't sure how she was going to ask this without him thinking she was insane.

"Oh? What is it?"

"I want to learn how to fight," she finally said.

He placed his hand on her stomach. "I don't know if that's wise considering your condition at the moment."

Even though she desperately wanted to learn, he was right. It was too risky and she did have other talents that put less strain on her body. For now, she would relax and try not to think about Damir too much. She decided to go back to the house and tell her brother how sorry she was. After that, she wasn't sure what she was going to do.

They walked back to the house, with Niko at her side. A place he promised he would always be. When the time was right, he would make it official.


	26. Settling In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 4 more chapters to go and it's over. I've really appreciated all of the kudos and I really love to hear from you guys. :3

Damir mourned his brother fiercely. The two hardly ever got along, but that didn't mean he loved his brother any less. All those times when he was cruel, he could have treated his younger brother a little nicer, but it was too late. Now all he had were memories and most of them were bad. Every time he thought about Darko or saw something that reminded him of his late brother, he'd break down and cry. He should have pushed past the pain in his groin and followed them. He should have been there.

By the time he got to Darko, Niko and his little rescue party had fled the tunnels with the whore. Overcome with grief, Damir fell to his knees and cradled Darko in his arms. He screamed and cried, begging God to bring his brother back, but no amount of praying was working. Darko's blood soaked into Damir's clothing, making him cold, but he didn't care. His baby brother was dead.

By the time it was dawn, Damir had wrapped Darko in a tarp, tied it tightly, and weighed it down with cement blocks. He drove to the closest body of water and threw the younger brother in. Tears streaked his face as the body slowly sunk down into the dark, murky water.

Darko Brevic was gone.

Anger and grief mixed within his heart as he sat in the kitchen and cleaned his gun. He fought back the tears, remembering when Darko tried to show him how to use the weapon. Damir hadn't been patient with him and lashed out. He sighed and set the weapon aside. The lighting in the kitchen was poor, making it hard to see what he was doing. He decided to quit for the time being and poured himself a glass of rum.

He stood by the window, glass in hand, watching the people on the street carrying on about their lives. He glared at them, envious of their happiness. It wasn't fair. Why did they get to be happy while he suffered every day of his life?

He took a sip of his beverage, but the liquor did little to ease his pain.

_As soon as I find Niko and that stupid whore, I'll make them pay for they have done to Darko. I won't let his death be in vain._

Once Damir was drunk enough, he opened his shitty laptop, and sent another email to Roman Bellic. Once he pressed send, he rose from his couch and decided to go out.

Damir found himself at an apartment complex for the middle class an hour later. He prowled the parking lot, looking for his next target. He didn't care who it was. He was angry and needed to take it out on someone or something.

A couple could be heard arguing from one of the ground floor apartments. Damir crept closer to the back sliding glass door and listened as a man and woman shouted at each other. The fighting went on for an unknown amount of time, but Damir knew that it was too long for his patience. If it were him, Damir would have bashed the bitch's brains out a long time ago. He almost felt sorry for the man inside.

Almost.

Damir's hand brushed the hammer tucked under his shirt for reassurance and he moved closer to the door. Their voices raised and drifted outside the house. The man's voice was the most overpowering. Damir grinned at the thought of the man beating the woman to death.

The man shouted something about leaving the house. There was stomping around followed by a door opening and slamming shut. The force was enough to rattle the sliding glass door. Damir pressed himself low to the ground and listened for the outside footsteps shoveling away from their home. A car engine was brought to life followed by the screeching of tires as they raced out of the parking lot. Inside, the woman began to sob loudly. This only pissed off Damir more.

Crying women agitated him.

Damir waited until he was certain the man was gone before slowly getting up and moving toward the back door. He noticed there wasn't a rod holding the sliding glass door, so he gave the door a single tug and it opened slightly, making the cries of the woman become louder.

He slowly opened the door wider and peeked inside to find that she wasn't in the living-room. Judging by her sniveling, he'd guess she was in her bedroom. He carefully shut the sliding door behind him after he stepped inside. Carefully, he moved through the living-room, almost tripping on the coffee table along the way. The hallway that led to the apartment's only bedroom was short, and the woman's insufferable sobbing could be heard. He couldn't wait to quiet this bitch once and for good.

He pushed open the door and there she was: curled up on her bed, hugging a tear-stained pillow, and oblivious to the stranger standing in her doorway.

As if she had sensed another presence in the room, she cries faded to whimpers and she looked in the direction of her doorway. For a brief moment, she thought maybe her husband had come back, but this man was too tall and broad to be her husband.

"Richard?" she asked in hoarse voice brought on by her shouting.

Damir stepped forward. In an instant, the woman knew this wasn't her husband, and she let out a shrill scream. Damir withdrew the hammer and lunged for her. Before she could let another scream, he was on top of her, cupping his free hand over her mouth.

The woman put up more of a fight than he thought she would, but he didn't care. He almost liked it. He knew she would never be able to overpower him like he could. Watching her thrash about underneath him, aroused him to the point of agony. It was only when she bit his hand, did it all suddenly disappear. He was reminded that Indigenous woman that got away.

Anger welled up inside of him, turning his vision red. He was done looking at this woman's face because all she reminded him of that girl. That fucking bitch Niko stuck it in. Damir raised the hammer high above his head and brought it down, smashing it into the poor woman's skull. He raised the hammer again then drove it into her head again. Each blow, he imagined that bitch and each time he couldn't help but think how wonderful it would be to kill her. How much he would love to see Niko's face when he'd find his dead lover on the ground, lying in a pool of her own blood. He imaged her round face, delicate features, wide brown eyes with the life fading from them, and her pretty teeth being smashing in. He'd chop off all of that pitch black hair and keep it as a trophy.

He wanted to watch Niko hold the tanned skinned whore as wept over her body, just as Damir had held Darko and cried.

Blood ran from the woman's forehead and soaked the sheets and mattress. Her skull was busted open, her brain was exposed, but it did not stop Damir. She was dead. Her dull, lifeless eyes, told him so, but he didn't care. Blood splattered the lamp, the snow-white walls, and oak nightstand…

When it was over and Damir's anger had finally calmed, he stood up and admired his work. His latest victim was now beyond recognition and beyond helping. After dealing with all of the pent-up anger and grief, Damir felt better. Maybe it wasn't one-hundred percent, but Darko's death hurt less and that was enough for Damir.

After cleaning himself up in the bathroom, Damir slipped out of the apartment and fled the area.

Her husband would later come home and find his wife dead and beaten to death. Witnesses would say that they heard the couple fight and saw a strange man lurking around in the parking lot. Some residents would leave the area, claiming that it was no longer safe, others stayed but never get a full nights sleep again.

* * *

He couldn't understand why Roman was barely speaking to him. The only time they spoke was when Niko called first. Their conversations were brief, with Roman looking for some excuse to get off the phone. Niko tried to think back and remember if he had said or did anything to his cousin that might have offended him, but his memories turned up blank. So why would Roman avoid Niko? If Niko were honest, it hurt that Roman was behaving this way. In the past, the cousins were not afraid to express whatever they were feeling at that moment. Whether they were annoyed with each other or to praise the other, nothing was hidden from them. He knew Roman wasn't in the right state of mind after Mallorie had taken Mijo and left him because of his gambling and lying. But Roman wore his heart on his sleeve and would have spoken to Niko about it. Maybe he knew that Niko would be blunt and give his opinion on the issue without asking.

The morning after they arrived at the Bedard place, Niko had planned on telling Roman about Lily's pregnancy, but he decided to wait and tell him in person. In a few days, Niko would be leaving for the Liberty City and he would tell him then.

Maybe it would cheer Roman up a little. He would probably take him drinking to celebrate. That would make Roman feel better. Hopefully.

Niko decided not to worry about it for the time being and dragged himself out of bed. He dressed for the day and joined everyone downstairs for breakfast. He was greeted by Yasmine as she served eggs and bacon to her daughter. Set out a plate for him and he took a seat across from Star. He didn't see Lily anywhere and grew concerned for her.

"Her morning sickness is keeping her from the table," Yasmine explained.

"I should help her," Niko said. As he rose from his seat, Yasmine stopped him.

"Don't worry, Niko, it's all apart of the process. She'll be okay."

"Why do pregnant women throw up in the morning?" Star asked.

"It's something that happens. No one knows the real reason."

"Sounds awful. Why would anyone want that?"

Yasmine giggled at her daughter. "If you want a baby, it's what you must put up with."

"If that's the case, then no thank you. I'd rather adopt than go through that!"

Yasmine took a seat beside Star and said, "There's a noble goal. So many Native children are in the foster care system."

"Hey Niko, what's Russia like?" Star asked.

"I've never been to Russia, but I can imagine it's no different than back home."

"If you've never been to Russia, then how come you sound like it?"

The girl's enthusiasm was amusing. When adults asked these questions, he found it annoying, but with child, it was different.

Star was a very strange girl, but she seemed nice enough. She was tall and a little on the chubby side. She looked a lot like Lily, the only difference was she had her mother's slender nose. After finding out that Lily was expecting, Star would run up to her aunt every chance she got and put her hand on Lily's stomach. All Lily could do was roll her eyes.

The woman mentioned stepped out of the bathroom looking miserable. Seeing her that way made Niko question if he wanted more children with her in the future. If it meant she would suffer like this every time, then it was out of the question.

She took her seat beside Niko and laid her head on the cool wooden table. Her long hair curtained her face and kept out the bright kitchen light. The smell of food made her stomach roll again, but she tried to fight back the wave of nausea.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" Niko asked her quietly.

Lily slowly shook her head, but then said, "Give me death."

He ate breakfast in silence, while Star and Yasmine talked about school and boys. Star shoveled the last of her breakfast in her mouth before grabbing her bag and running out the door to meet the bus.

"By the way," Yasmine said to Lily. "Hotah called earlier and wanted to see you and Niko. He said he needed to speak with you both."

Lily gave a thumbs up as her only response.

"You poor thing," Yasmine said, sympathetically. "I'll make you a natural remedy for morning sickness later."

Lily pushed away from the table and ran to the bathroom where she lost the rest of her breakfast. Niko lost his appetite and decided to go help her, all the while thinking this would be a very long nine months.

* * *

Because the distance between Trigg's farm and her father's was short, Lily normally walked. One that day, however, she wasn't up for the trek to Hotah's house and asked Niko to drive them over there.

They found her father sitting in front of the TV, watching the Forecast Channel. She would never understand why the elderly loved watching that station, but old people and children were a mystery to her.

A knitted blanket was draped over her father's lap, both arms rested on the armrest with one hand holding on the remote. He ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair and yawned as he gently rocked the recliner back and forth. The TV was turned up at a high volume that was almost deafening, making her worry about his hearing. She made a mental note to talk to him about it.

Lily tapped Hotah on the arm, getting his attention. The elderly Lakota man looked up at his daughter and slowly rose from his chair. He pulled Lily in for a hug who returned the affection. All her life, Hotah had smelled of fresh hay. The scent always brought her a sense of familiarity and comfort.

"How are you both this morning?" Hotah asked.

"We're good," Niko replied. "What about yourself, Mr. Bedard?"

"I'm fine and please, call me Hotah."

"Yasmine said that you needed to speak with us?" Lily inquired.

"Yes, have a seat."

Niko and Lily sat beside each other on the divan. Hotah shut off the TV much to Lily's relief and offered them something to drink, but the couple declined.

"I want you both to know that, I'll be here for anything you need," Hotah said. "My grandchild will never do without."

"I'll make sure it doesn't happen," Niko replied.

" _We_  will make sure it never happens, Dad," Lily corrected.

"I know you won't, Lily. You've always been a very determined girl, even if you don't see it in yourself, but it's still my job to make sure that you are taken care of." He looked at Niko and asked, "What are your plans with my daughter?"

_Here we go again…_ Niko thought. "We haven't planned anything, yet."

"I see. You're not gonna marry her?"

"I don't want to get married!" Lily exclaimed.

Niko was taken aback at her words and his heart sank, but now wasn't the time to talk about it with her. He felt more comfortable having that conversation when they were alone.

Hotah was surprised by her answer as well. He raised a brow at her, unsure of what to say next. He had always been a traditional man, believing that children should be born within wedlock. It was part of the reason, he married Lily's mother, Mable. He wasn't sure if he could accept his grandchild being illegitimate, but he could see that there wasn't any changing of Lily's mind. Maybe Annette could be a little more persuasive. Although, she was the last person he wanted to drag into this.

"It's the right thing to do," Hotah said, knowing he would regret it.

"Why?" Lily challenged.

He regretted it instantly and decided to change the subject.

Once Hotah took his seat, he studied them both for a moment before he said, "I want to thank you again for saving Lily. As I mentioned yesterday, I've lost one daughter. I can't stand the thought of losing another."

Niko could see the pain in the man's eyes and felt a stab of pity for him. "I would never allow anything to happen to her, Mr. Bedard," Niko said.

"I'm glad for that," Hotah replied. He sighed and looked out the window. "Mika was always a fiery one. That girl refused to obey any rule given to her, but she wasn't a bad kid, just restless, I think. She would be forty-five today had she not gone missing in 1984. She was coming home from a party and somewhere between there and the reservation she went missing. We looked for years but never found her. I wanted to stay in South Yankton just in case she came back to us, but after," Hotah paused and hesitated for a moment, as if he wanted to tell them more, but couldn't. He seemed to change his mind and continued. "After some trouble on the reservation, I decided to move to Liberty to be closer to my sister. I had to accept that my daughter was never coming back."

"I am sorry for your loss. I know the feeling all too well of losing a loved one," Niko confided.

Was he thinking about Kate and the friends he lost during the war? Lily wondered.

"Lily looks a lot like Mika." Hotah stood up and made his way to the mantle. Carefully, he took a few photos and took his place back in his recliner. He held out the pictures for Niko to see. "This was taken her senior year and this one was taken not far from our home. She was the first in our family to graduate high school. I wanted her to go to college, but she said she didn't want to waste her best years studying and worrying about finals."

Hotah wasn't kidding when he said Mika and Lily looked alike. The only difference was Lily was now sporting bangs(thanks to Damir) while Mika's was untamed and framed her face. In one of the photos, Mika was leaning against a large oak tree, laughing, and wearing a thin white blouse with beads around the collar and pair of bell bottom jeans with no shoes.

Although the photo was faded, Niko could make out enough details to know that he had seen that outfit before. Then it hit him: Lily wore that in the past. He remembered the day she wore it, she asked Niko about his fighting style. Now he knew why half her wardrobe was outdated.

"I know it isn't easy, but don't dwell on the death of loved one. Celebrate their life instead. They would want it that way," Hotah said. The man sighed and appeared to be tired. "Thank you for bringing Lily back to us and Lily I'm glad you're home. I hope you two don't mind, but I think I should rest. Lily, could you place those pictures back where they belong?"

"Sure, Dad," she replied.

After putting the photos on the mantle, they left the house. They didn't go back to Trigg's house right away. Instead, they decided to look over the house Trigg had given them to stay in for a while.

They were half-way there when Niko finally asked her about her sister.

"How come you've never spoken of Mika?"

Lily slowed the Sabre as they approached a stop sign and said, "It's something that I never knew when to bring up in conversation. Same with my mother. She died after giving birth to me. That's why I think my family secretly hates me..."

"You didn't kill your mother and your family doesn't hate you. What happened wasn't in anyone's control."

She looked straight ahead while considering his words. Of course, she knew was irrational to believe she killed her own mother, but her heart was telling her otherwise.

"You have to promise me that if I die, you won't resent our child."

"Don't be ridiculous." He scoffed and looked out the window.

"Niko, promise me you won't," she pleaded.

He sighed, knowing she wouldn't let this go. "Fine, I promise."

Pregnant women were a strange bunch that he would never be able to understand.

* * *

The outside of the modest farmhouse needed a lot of work. The white paint was peeling, the shutters were an ugly shade of green, the porch needed repairs, the screen-door was hanging by a hinge, and tall weeds grew all around the house. Inside, it looked much nicer, but even on the interior needed work. It was obvious that Yasmine and Trigg only did enough maintenance to keep it from completely falling apart.

"This place has seen better days," Niko commented.

"I don't think anyone's lived here in years. They tried renting the place out, but the last occupants weren't exactly tenants of the year."

They looked around the house, getting an idea of how they wanted the inside and outside to look. Even though it was only temporary, Lily still wanted the house to look nice. She ran a finger along the kitchen countertop, cringing at the thick layer of dust and the rat droppings in the corners. There was a lot of work to be done around the old property. Lily was starting to feel fatigued at just the thought of having to do it all.

She was never a lazy person, but she hadn't felt very energetic in weeks. It was probably what happened with Damir plus the baby making her feel that way.

She walked down the hallway that led to the bedrooms. In the very back was the master bedroom that she and Niko would share. The walls were covered in a wooden panel that was peeling, to the right was the master bath and a large walk-in closet. A large window faced the east of the property and gave them a view of the open fields. Out in the distances, she could see her brother's horse running along the fence.

There was a built-in bookshelf with drawers at the bottom, an old wooden headboard laid against the wall. She would have to ask Niko to move it to the shed later. An eerie feeling washed over her as she stood in the middle of the room. She turned and quickly exited the room, moving on to the next one.

In one of the smaller rooms, it looked as if someone had punched holes in the wall. She added plaster and paint, to her list of items needed to make them presentable again. There was also a large stain on the carpet. A shampooer would have to be rented. At least the other room looked much nicer, to Lily's relief.

After looking the rooms over, she left and made her way back into the living-room.

Sometimes Niko had thought about what it would be like to share a living space with a significant other. He certainly never imagined it would happen, until he met Kate. He used to think about them sharing his apartment in Algonquin. Of course, they would have to be married first. Being deeply religious, Kate would have made him wait until their wedding night. Not that he wouldn't have minded.

It was while he was standing there in the doorway of the back porch, looking over the landscape, that he thought of where he and Kate would be at that moment had she lived. It wasn't healthy to think about her while he was Lily. He would forever miss Kate and the "what ifs" would always plague his mind. It would always be a struggle for him but hoped that someday he could truly move on.

He watched Lily move from the kitchen to the living-room and then she disappeared down the halls that led to the bedrooms. It was strange to him that Lily and Kate were similar and yet different. Both had an innocence to them, but Kate had more of an awareness of how dark the world could be. Lily, however, wanted to only see the good in the world. He was drawn to them both for these reasons.

He turned his attention back to the land before him. Their conversation with Hotah still had him troubled. Lily never wished to marry even though they would be expecting a child. Even if she didn't want to get married he thought of asking her anyway. She would change her mind over time, he hoped. He was also surprised as she seemed like the type that thought of nothing but marriage and raising a family. Maybe he was wrong about her all along. She certainly proved she could handle herself against Damir.

"Isn't it nice?"

Lily's soft voice tugged Niko from his thoughts. He looked in the direction of her voice and found her sitting at the counter on an old stool. He never heard her coming back from the bedrooms. Either he wasn't as aware as he used to be or Lily was becoming stealthier.

"Is what nice?" he asked.

She smiled and said, "The land. Isn't it pretty?"

"Oh… Yes, it is nice to look at. It reminds me of home in a way."

She slid off the stool and stood beside him. He placed his arm across her shoulders and her hand reached up to touch his.

"I know that America isn't exactly what you thought it would be, but maybe someday you could except it as your home?"

"Maybe someday. We will see."  _You are my home…_

Her eyes swept across the yard until they settled on an old shed in the corner of the property. She remembered Annette had some of Lily's old stuff stored away in the shed and bet that it was still there.

Her step-mother had never approved of her hobbies in high-school.

"Come on, I want to see if my old equipment is still in that shed," Lily said.

It took a few tugs, but the flimsy metal door finally opened. The sunlight exposed the contents inside and Lily felt relief that her stuff was still there.

"Archery?" Niko asked.

"In high school, my parents encouraged me to take up a sport, thinking it would build my confidence. I took up archery because it was the only one that looked appealing to me. I ended up enjoying it, but half-way through my senior year, Annette made me quit."

"It seems that Annette made you do a lot of things you didn't want to do," he pointed out.

Lily held her bow and arrows in her hands and looked down at them. It was embarrassing to admit that she allowed someone to control most of her life and even more embarrassing that Niko had noticed.

"She's not all bad. Once you get to know her, you'll like her, I promise."

"No offense Lily, but I don't know if I'll have the patience."

"It's alright. I understand that she can be a little… difficult."

The word difficult was an understatement. A lot of things in life were difficult, but Annette was not one of them. She was a bitch. Niko didn't want to think that way about Lily's step-mother or any woman, but there was no denying it. Annette Bedard was a controlling bitch. He wondered if the woman was to blame for Lily's social anxiety and low self-esteem.

Most likely that was the case. He was ready to handle if needed, but Lily was going have to grow a backbone and stand up to this woman too. He was hoping she would do just that when they returned to the Bedard place when Annette was sitting outside waiting for them.

Annette was sitting on the porch swing, reading a book when they arrived. She looked up and smiled as Lily and Niko walked up the steps of the house. She seemed much more pleasant than the last time he saw her, but he still kept his guard up. Something about this woman made her untrustworthy.

"Lily..." she greeted. Her eyes rested on him. "It's Niko, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yes."

"I thought so. Lily, I want to let you know that I made you an appointment with Dr. Richardson. It's at nine-thirty AM on Monday."

Lily crossed her arm and leaned against the railing of the porch. "I was going to look around for myself."

Annette laughed at this and set her book on a nearby table. The older woman ran her hand over her braid and smiled at her step-daughter. Annette gently rocked herself in the swing, pretending she didn't understand Lily's agitation.

"Oh now don't be like that. Dr. Richardson is one of the best in his field. He delivered Star and look how healthy she turned out. I know you want the best for your baby," Annette said in a patronizing tone.

"I planned on having a midwife."

"Doctors are better equipped for this than some backward thinking woman," Annette said after rolling her eyes. "Now, no more arguing. I know what I'm talking about. I've had two children of my own." She picked up her book and began reading it, signaling that she was done with the conversation.

"I'll go to the appointment, but I'm still looking into a midwife."

Annette peered up from her book. "Niko, please talk sense into her. Pregnant women sometimes need to be reasoned with."

Niko never liked being put on the spot and the last thing he wanted was to tell Lily what to do. "I think I'll trust Lily's judgment," he replied.

Annette shook her head. "Honestly, you both are being ridiculous."

Sensing the vexation rising in him, Lily took Niko's hand and gave it a squeeze. She looked up at him, silently pleading for him to stay calm. He would try, but he wasn't sure how long he could hold out and it was only day two. This woman would be a challenge.

A Native man threw open the front door, interrupting the tense moment. He stopped in his tracks at the sight of the two newcomers and became uncomfortable seeing Lily standing before him. The man appeared to be in his early thirties and wore a beige tee-shirt with black cargo pants and work boots. Lily looked at him for a moment, unsure if she should approach him or not. The last time they saw each other, it wasn't on good terms.

"Blackie!" Lily finally said.

"I heard you came back home. Kind of surprising, to be honest." Then Blackie added. "It's surprising they didn't kick you out of Liberty City sooner. Being that you're a pain in the ass."

Lily grinned. "Who are you calling a pain in the ass?"

He smiled and held his arms out to her. Lily didn't hesitate to rush forward and hug him. Despite everything that happened between them, she was glad to see him, just as much as he was glad to see her.

When they finished embracing, Lily took Niko's hand. "Blackie, this is Niko Bellic. Niko, this is Blackie McAfee, my step-brother."

"Hi," Niko greeted.

Blackie raised a brow and looked to Lily. "You're hooking up with a white boy?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, Blackie, I am. Is that going to be a problem?" she asked in a tone that made him almost flinch.

"N-No, it's fine. Jesus, don't rip my head off." Blackie threw his hands up in defense.

"Ignore her attitude, she's pregnant," Annette added.

Lily's face reddened and she wanted to die on the spot. Why did Annette have to open her mouth? She wanted to tell everyone on her own.

Blackie's eyes flicked from Lily to Niko and then back to Lily. "I guess the Russian knocked you up, huh?"

"I'm not Russian," Niko said.

"He's a Serb," Lily corrected.

"Oh… uh… sorry about that. Well, congrats, I guess. No one knows what life has in store for us." Blackie held the door open for them. "Come on in, I ordered Chinese for lunch."

The awkwardness the step-siblings felt minutes ago returned stronger than before. Lily kept thinking about that warm and sunny afternoon when Blackie came home drunk and angry. The afternoon that changed their relationship forever, the very same one that made her decide to leave home. She never told her family what happened and never planned to. There was any point in doing so now.

After he came back from overseas, he hadn't been the same. She knew why and tried to be understanding, but his drinking had become worse and his temper explosive. Most of the time, Lily stayed in her room when he came home smelling of whatever cheap beer he could get a hold of. On that particular day, Lily was home alone while Hotah and Annette went out to celebrate their anniversary. Blackie had stormed into the house demanding to know where his mother was. Lily did her best to ignore him, until he came into her room and started yelling at her, accusing her of things she didn't even do(she couldn't even remember what it was). She wasn't going to put up with it and decided to leave the house for a while. She pushed past him, telling him to piss off. The last thing she remembered was a hands on her back and the world spinning around her.

Thinking about that day made her anxiety levels rise and she forced those awful memories away. It was the right thing to do to forgive him, but she found that it wasn't as easy she thought. The alcohol changed him, but rehab brought him back and made him see that there were healthier coping mechanisms for his PTSD.

Maybe they could finally heal from what happened and move on. It wasn't going to be easy though.

With Hotah still sleeping, and Annette outside, it was only the three of them at the kitchen table. Blackie gave Lily and Niko each a box of takeout without bothering to look at what was inside. Lily didn't care, she loved Chinese food and had not eaten since that morning.

"How did you both meet?" Blackie asked while stabbing a piece of broccoli with his fork.

"At my cousin's cab business," replied Niko.

"Oh yeah? I heard Lily was a taxi driver. Surprised to hear that since she's so shy."

"I'm not shy, I just don't how to talk to people," Lily said.

Blackie laughed and said, "You're shy. Learn to accept it."

She responded by sticking her tongue at him.

"I thought you were living in South Yankton."

"I was, but I hated the winters there."

Silence fell over the table once more. It was strange to Niko that the siblings were tense around each other. Their teasing felt forced, not relaxed as Lily was with Trigg, and when she saw Blackie peek out the front door, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Their skin wasn't touching, but Niko could feel her trembling. Something had happened between those two and figured it may have been the reason Lily left home.

"So, Niko, how long did you fight in that war?" Blackie asked.

Niko looked up from the cardboard container that held teriyaki noodles. He had become used to these questions by now. Although he wished people would stop.

Lily almost dropped her spoon. "Blackie, that's rude!"

"It's fine," Niko said. "I half expect to be asked this by now. I served for three years, then I was sent home after… after I was wounded." He didn't feel like talking about the ambush. Not at that moment. Hell, he wasn't sure if he ever wanted to talk about it again. He wanted to move on from that, he wanted to be happy, and to live a normal life. Even if he didn't deserve it.

Blackie locked eyes with Niko for a few heartbeats. Both men saw the hardship and horrors of war in each other that most people couldn't. Neither of them could erase the memories forever burned into their minds, but both knew all they could do now was put it behind them and try to move on with their lives.

Blackie thought it was best he didn't say anything about being in Eastern Europe and only mentioned Afghanistan and Iraq. He didn't agree with the West's involvement, hell, he didn't agree with war at all. He only signed up at the time because he didn't know what else to do and his mother told him he'd become a warrior like his ancestors. Well, he sure as fuck didn't feel like a warrior. He should have felt honored or at least his Mom said so, but he didn't. After he left the military, he struggled to adjust to civilian life. When it proved to be more difficult than he thought, he turned to drinking. He tried to hide it at first, but eventually, the family found out and poor, sweet Lily caught the brunt of it.

The guilt washed over him as he thought about that evening. Images of Lily lying at the bottom of the stairs and later her lying in bed as she slowly came to flashed in his mind. When she finally woke up, it was dark out and he was sitting her chair crying.

He couldn't think about that anymore. Maybe he'd go on the other side of town and see Alexis. She could always help him forget.

"How was Jace?" Lily wanted to quickly change the subject of war. After all this time of staying silent, now Blackie wanted to talk about it? Maybe it did make sense with Niko being there. Niko would understand, but she wasn't sure Niko was in the mood to talk. "I never hear from him anymore."

"He's okay. His wife is giving him shit again, but he kind of deserves it. His little runts are okay, too." Blackie twirled his spicy noodles with a fork and looked down at the container as he did so. "He's always been a jackass. Poor Kim, she deserves better. Anyway, I'm home now and I plan to stay here for a while. What about the two of you? What are your plans here?"

"I'm moving back to Madison… at least for now. I'm staying with Trigg at the moment, but I plan to move into the old house within a few days," Lily explained.

"A few days?" Niko asked. "That's a little soon don't you think?"

"The sooner the better," Lily replied.

The front screen door opened and slammed closed. Annette's light footsteps echoed as she made her way into the house.

"Hey Mom, ya want any of this food? I ordered plenty!" Blackie called out to his mother.

"No thank you, son. I don't eat cat!" Annette called back.

Lily wanted to hide her face in her hands.  _Oh my god, I can't believe she just said that…_  She glanced at Niko who just as unaffected by her words as Blackie was. She felt relieved and went back to her meal.

_I hope my family doesn't chase Niko away._

* * *

Very little light was shining through the window of the spare bedroom, leaving it in pitch blackness. The bed creaked and sheets rustled as one of the occupants of the house tossed and turned that night. It was hard to sleep when the mind was restless as well, but for Niko, it was something he'd grown used to.

He stared up at the ceiling fan, watching as blades passed over the small sliver of light that shown on the ceiling. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and checked for any new messages. Nothing from Roman, Little Jacob wanted to know he was doing, and Brucie wanted to hang out. Niko placed his phone back and turned to face Lily.

She was sleeping on her stomach, her face hidden behind her mess of hair, and an arm tucked under her pillow. He smoothed the hair away from her face and she began to move. Her eyes fluttered opened and looked up at him, making him freeze in place.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

"I thought you were going to choke on your hair. I didn't mean to wake to you."

She yawned and nestled closer to him. "It's alright, I wasn't really asleep. I'm having trouble, same as you." She took his hand and entwined her fingers with his. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"You always say that, Niko. If we're going to raise a family together, then you have to be open. You can't keep hiding how you feel from me and you have to be honest. You can tell me if something is wrong."

He sighed. She wasn't going to let this go. For now, he would tell her something to keep her off his back. "I'm thinking about Roman. I worry about him being alone in his house. He rarely speaks to me anymore and I don't know what to say to him."

"So ask him bluntly about what's wrong. You've never hidden how you felt from him before. Why's it different now?"

"I don't know…"

"Go see him when you visit Liberty City. What could you possibly lose?"

"I plan to see him soon and maybe try and convince Mallorie to give him another chance. I hate to play the middleman for them but if it means Roman isn't miserable anymore..."

"I'll talk to Mallorie, don't worry. In the meantime, let's get some sleep. We have chores in the morning."

She gave him a quick kiss and laid her head on his chest. Moments later, she drifted off while Niko stayed awake long into the night.

* * *

At the Bedard place, Annette and Hotah were in the kitchen discussing the issue of the Eastern European man. Hotah sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in hand while his wife paced around the room.

"I'm telling you, Hotah, that man is trouble. We hardly know a thing about him and then Lily shows up on our doorstep with him and pregnant to boot after only being with him for months. Then she expects us to just accept it. Well, I'll you one thing, I don't have to accept this and I  _know_  for a fact that Niko isn't a legal citizen!"

"To be fair, all whites are illegal," Hotah pointed out.

Annette rolled eyes. "You know what I mean."

"Listen, you don't have to accept Niko, but he did save Lily and brought her back home. The man is quiet and reserved, but I don't see a reason for not trusting him."

"Because we barely know him and he looks exactly like the man who used to frequent the ULPC building."

"Annette, drop it. I trust Lily's judgment and even if what you say is true, criticizing him will only drive her away." Hotah took a sip of his coffee as Annette took a seat beside him.

"I'm looking into this more! If you won't see that Lily is protected, then I will! For God sake, she is your-"

Hotah slammed down his coffee mug, cutting her off and making her jump. "I said drop it!" he snapped. He rarely raised his voice and when he did, he felt bad, but not this time. "You leave Niko and Lily alone. My daughter is happy and I'm not going to ruin that and neither are you. Are we clear?"

Annette narrowed her eyes.

"Are we clear?" he repeated.

She abruptly stood up and stormed upstairs to their bedroom. Hotah shook his head and finished off his coffee before joining. Annette could be a stubborn woman, but he wasn't about to sit back and let her ruin what Lily had. Even if Niko had a shady past, he couldn't judge Niko too harshly. Everyone made mistakes, Hotah knew this all too well.

In the early morning hours, Annette had awoken before her husband and tip-toed downstairs and out the back door. Taking out her phone, she scrolled down until she came across an old friend's number.

The phone rang three times before Annette heard a familiar Porter Rican accent on the other line. "Agent Rhodes. Who am I speaking with?"

"Margret? It's me, Annette Bedard."

The woman's groggy voice on the other end became chipper. "Annette, how are you? How's retirement?"

Annette sat down on the tailgate of her husband's red Saddler and watched the sun peek over the trees. "Oh, things have been good, though a little boring. Listen, I have to ask you a favor. I need information on someone and I think you just might be the person who can help."

Agent Rhodes laughed and said, "I knew this wasn't just a friendly chat at this hour. Please, tell me what you need and I'll see what I can do."

"I need information on a Niko Bellic. I wouldn't ask if this wasn't important."

"Niko Bellic, eh? Hmm… I'll look into it. It may take days or even weeks, but I'll have what you need."

"Thank you, Margret. We should do lunch sometime."

"No problem and yes, that does sound wonderful," Rhodes replied.

The call ended and Annette found that she was shaking. There would be consequences for her actions, but she kept telling herself that she was doing the right thing.

Even if it meant breaking Lily's heart…


	27. Roman Learns the Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be slower. I'm losing steam and my health isn't the best right now. 
> 
> Thank you, everyone, for the kudos. They mean a lot to me and I would really love to hear from you guys.

She did it anyway.

Hotah's anger with Annette burned in his chest so hot, he swore it would kill him. Had she forgotten that he always slept with the window open? He heard everything she said over the phone and he lied there gritting his teeth as Annette betrayed his daughter.

He had never truly loved Annette, at least not in the way that he loved Mable. In all honesty, he only married her because she was a single mother struggling to pay the bills and Lily needed a female role model.

But there wasn't much he could now, was there? Except maybe catch the files before Annette did. Now, he would wait by the mail every day until those documents arrived. He had a feeling Niko did something in his past. One quick search on Eye Find revealed Niko had been arrested for grand theft auto and assault with a deadly weapon the previous year. After logging off the computer, he sat there and reflected on his own past.

Hotah Bedard was born on South Yankton's Black Oak reservation in 1936. He went to school on the rez until the age of fifteen when he was caught stealing. Fearing the worst for her son, his mother sent him away to a boarding school, even though she knew there was a chance he would lose his culture. There he stayed for two years in that hell hole until he ran away at seventeen. He was a hell-raiser who loved fast cars, faster women, and cheap booze. He got into fights, held up liquor stores for a little cash in the pocket, sold stolen cars to chop shops. He was the best at what he did and there was no slowing him down. That is until he met Mabel Screechowl. It was love at first sight and although she was still in school, he wanted to marry her then and there. He made himself a promise that he would make her his. For three years he chased after her, but she wanted nothing to do with him. Then one day she finally agreed to go out with him and five months later they were at the courthouse exchanging vows with Mabel two months pregnant with Mika. Shortly after their honeymoon, Hotah began bootlegging.

He never regretted marrying her, no matter how hard things got, but he knew she probably did. As they entered the sixties, money was getting tight. They lost their benefits after Mabel refused sterilization, but Hotah decided he would start selling drugs. His main customers were the white hippies dressing like Indians. He was never caught and made a decent living for his family. The seventies rolled in and by that time they had two small boys. Cocaine was all the rage and made Hotah a little extra money while he worked at a steel mill. He knew by then he was pushing his luck. In the eighties, he began to sell to his own people, something that didn't set right with Mabel.

_I never cared that you stole and poisoned the white man, but to do this to your own people…?_

The truth was, he didn't have an answer. Stealing and dealing was all he knew. Sure he had a steady nine to five by then, but it wasn't enough to pay the bills and he couldn't see himself slowing down.

Until Mika disappeared.

Her loss devastated the family. Hotah and Mable couldn't see their marriage lasting much longer and then Lily came along. The pregnancy brought new life into their relationship and while they knew she could never replace Mika, this new baby could help heal their broken hearts. When Mable died, however, Hotah went back to his old ways and shortly after marrying Annette, he was kicked off the reservation. Now he was here in Liberty, living a new life while trying not to think about the old one.

He didn't approve of Niko's past, but he couldn't blame him either. Life is hard. Sometimes people do whatever they can to survive. Unlike himself, Niko was straight and narrow before his family came along.

* * *

"It's not what I expected." Niko studied the fuzzy, black and white photo while they sat outside Dr. Richardson's office. All he could see was a small white blob in the middle of a black spot. He could hardly tell it was a baby at all.

Lily held open the booklet on pregnancy. "Well, that's because it's only six weeks old. According to this booklet, it won't look anywhere close to the fetuses we seen in the pictures until it's at least eight weeks." She flipped through the book and looked at the pictures of different stages of pregnancy. "I can't believe they made me hold my pee for that long. I didn't think I was going to make it!"

That entire morning was pure hell for her. She wasn't allowed to eat, which made her nausea worse, she had to hold her pee, had to wait an hour for Dr. Richardson, and then to make it worse, the nurse made her drink more water! She thought she was going to pop! Finally, when the ultrasound was finished, they allowed her to use the restroom and it was pure sweet relief.

In the end, though, it was worth it to see her baby on the monitor. Before that, she had trouble believing she was pregnant. Seeing the tiny spot made her heart skip a beat in excitement. She looked to Niko to see if she could tell what he was thinking at that moment, but she couldn't read his expression.

"Did you… feel anything at all when you saw it?" she asked as he started the car.

He glanced her way before looking back at the windshield. What did he feel? Well, he wasn't too certain if he were honest. There was a tightness in his chest and his heart beat wildly as he saw it appear on the screen, but to articulate his emotions was something he had never been good at.

"I think I can be happy about it now," she added. "Sometimes that dark thought telling me that I'm not allowed to be happy still plagues my head. Do you ever feel that way?"

Did he feel that way? Every second. He was happy all the same, but his past continued to hang over him like a dark cloud. Every time he thought he could escape it, someone out there still had a score to settle with him. It would be a never-ending cycle he feared.

"Sometimes," he replied.

"But how did you feel at that moment?"

"I'm not sure. This is still a lot to take in," he confessed. He glanced back over at Lily who staring down at her lap. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, just tired. This morning was a little eventful."

"Come on then, let's get you to bed."

She closed her eyes and leaned back. "Bed sounds really inviting right now."

* * *

"I can carry  _something_ ya know," Lily said, annoyed.

She watched helplessly as Niko and Trigg carried her boxes of old clothing and miscellaneous items down the stairs. It was "moving day" for Lily and she didn't know to feel about the rest of her stuff being taken out of her father's house, but Annette wanted it gone.

Whatever her step-mom demanded, it happened.

Star was behind them with a smaller box of Lily's pictures.

"See, I can carry that!" Lily grumbled as they walked past her.

"Not in your condition," Trigg replied.

Lily huffed and sat at the top of the stairs. She crossed her arms and pouted while everyone packed her boxes into her father's red Sandler truck.

"I'm not useless."

But her complaints fell on deaf ears. Pissed off and ready to scream, she left her family to deal with the moving. She saddled up her blood bay mare and rode off, not coming back until later that evening.

Over the next three days, Lily did light chores around her brother's ranch, leaving both Trigg, Blackie, and Niko to do the heavy work. They all seemed to get along, which brought her a great amount of relief. She knew how overbearing her family could be(especially Annette), so it was nice to see that they liked Niko or at least tolerated him. When she wasn't working, she was at what would soon be her new house, practicing her archery.

Niko would secretly watch her practice. He was impressed by her skill with the bow and arrow. Each time she released an arrow, it struck its target dead center. With each bull's eye she got, he noticed a change in how she presented herself. She stood a little straighter, with her head held high, and her stride shown more confidence. Perhaps her parents were right in making her take up a sport. He also noticed her frustrations melting away as each arrow hit its mark.

It was a few days after they were officially moved into the house, Niko was in the kitchen pouring himself a glass of water when he saw her lining up her targets again. This time, however, she had difficulty hitting a bull's eye. Even from a distance, he could see her fingers tremble as they gently took an arrow from its quiver. When she released the arrow it traveled past the target and landed somewhere deep in the wood. Lily hung her head down for a few moments before straightening herself and marching off into the woods.

He wasn't comfortable with her being alone in the forest, but knowing her she probably explored the woods all the time. That didn't mean that he had to like it.

After some time passed and she hadn't returned, He began to worry something might have happened. Grabbing his jacket, he left the house and followed the trail she had made. He found her sitting on a tree stump, with her bow resting on her lap. Her head was hung low, her hair curtained her face. He worried that maybe she was crying again.

"What are you doing out here?" His voice startled her. She turned around on the stump and looked up at him.

"Niko, what are you doing here?"

"You hadn't come back yet and I was worried."

"Yeah, well, I've done some thinking," she said.

"Such as?"

"The Night Terror and everything that happened..."

"I see."

"Yeah… I'm still angry I allowed myself to be kidnapped and that I've let my fear control me! I'm weak!" She stood up with the bow clutch tightly in her hand. "I hate that I'm so nice even to the people who are mean to me!"

"Then grow a spine," Niko said.

She was caught off guard by his blunt reply and didn't know how to respond to it. She expected sympathy and when she didn't get it, she didn't know what to do.

"Gee, thanks, I'll get right on that," she said, scowling.

"I'm serious, Lily. You are always complaining, but I rarely see you do anything to improve yourself. You let everyone walk all over you and it's hard to watch. Stop letting these people treat you the way they do."

"I get it, you think I'm pathetic..." Her voice trailed as her throat tightened. She tried to run past him, but he grabbed her by the elbow. She looked back at him, glaring with tears shimmering in her eyes. "Let go of me, Niko."

"I have never once seen you as pathetic. You are far from it." He let go of her. Much to his relief, she didn't run. "I only want you to stand up to the people who think they can walk all over you."

She sniffed and wiped her eyes on her jacket. "You're right and I'm sorry. It's just hard looking in the mirror when I don't like what I see."

"Give yourself time."

She simply nodded before throwing her arms around him. He half expected her to break down and cry, but surprisingly she didn't. He held her in the middle of the forest and she buried her face in his jacket. They didn't speak for the longest time, but talking was the last thing that Lily wanted to do.

Niko was right. She had to pull herself together and grow a spine, but she didn't know how. All her life, she had been taught to stay quiet. Annette drilled it into her head early on that speaking up wasn't a proper thing to do and that it was rude. Being passive and kind would get her farther in life.

"Sure, you can be assertive like me. Nothing wrong with that," Annette once told her. "But that being said, assertiveness and rudeness don't suit you, Lily. Keep your head down in life and you'll do okay. Just accept that you're a mouse."

And Lily had excepted it, but now she knew that what Annette told her was more harmful than anything. Unlearning everything that had been taught to her for nearly twenty years wasn't going to go away overnight, though.

" _Lily! Niko!_ Anyone home!"

Star's voice came from the direction of the house. Lily stepped away from him and looked towards the house.

They found her on the front porch with Trigg standing beside her.

"Hey, guys!" Star said in her normal chipper voice. "Dad and I were wondering if Lily wanted to come with us into town today."

Lily glanced briefly at Niko and then back at her brother and niece. "I don't know…"

"Go on," Niko said. "It'll be good for you to get out of the house. Maybe you will see your old friends."

Lily couldn't help but laugh at that. "What friends?"

"Come on, Lily, we haven't really had a chance to spend time together and I have something to tell you," Star said.

"Oh alright," Lily caved. "I'll go, but no touching the belly. Got it?"

Star giggled. "I can't make any promises."

"Alright, let's go," Trigg said.

Lily gave Niko's hand a gentle squeeze before leaving with her brother. He watched the truck leave before going inside the house. He stood there, looking around the almost barren place he would probably call home from now on.

So far he didn't like Madison all that much. He couldn't see himself calling it home, but at least he didn't feel crowded like he did in Liberty City. Madison was much more tolerable even if he was surrounded by "hicks" and "rednecks" as Lily had referred to the townsfolk. He could deal with those type of people. He'd certainly met worse during his days as a career criminal.

Not knowing what else to do, he decided to lie down until Lily came back. He chose the sofa as his resting spot. In the kitchen, the soft tick-tock of the clock was the only sound in the empty house, aside from the occasional car that flew down the dirt and gravel roads. It was almost comforting to hear it.

His eyes slid closed and he began to drift off. He didn't know how long he had slept, but a car door slamming brought him out of his slumber.

It couldn't have been Lily back so soon. He got up and answered the door before his unexpected guest could knock on the door. There standing before him was Roman, looking just as surprised as Niko.

"Roman, what are you doing here? Did you make sure you weren't followed?"

"Yes, nice to see you, too, cousin," Roman deadpanned.

"I'm sorry, cousin. Come inside."

"Thank you."

Roman stepped inside and looked around. "Well, it isn't a mansion, but it'll do for now."

Although he was joking, there was something in the tone of Roman's voice that told Niko his humor was forced. In fact, the way Roman was carrying himself made him believe that there was wrong.

"Are you okay, Roman? You don't seem like yourself. Is it Mallorie still?"

Roman sighed and sat down on the couch. He didn't look at Niko for the longest time. Instead, he tried to focus on anything but his cousin. Something truly was wrong for him to become distant like this.

"Just say it," Niko said.

Roman looked down at his shoes, thinking of the right way to ask it. The silence between them was becoming too much for Niko. He hadn't seen Roman look this troubled since he found out about Mallorie and Vlad.

"Niko, I need to know something."

"Ask me then."

Roman swallowed thickly and looked his cousin in the eyes. "I guess I can only ask this bluntly. Niko, how did mama really die? And please don't lie to me."

Since the day Niko found Vlada Bellic violated and her throat cut, he made sure that Roman would never know the truth about her death. After Zoron helped him set the house on fire both father and son vowed to never tell Roman what really happened. His cousin was too fragile. Knowing that his mother had died in a horrific way would certainly kill him. Lying to Roman was the kindest act Niko could have done at the time.

But now six years later he was being confronted with the lie he told. A lie he thought he could take to his grave.

For a split second, his eyes betrayed his heart. He quickly masked his feelings, but that split second was enough for Roman to know that his cousin, one of the few people he trusted the most, was lying to him.

"Niko, I need to know," Roman said.

"I told you the truth."

"Stop lying!" Roman snapped.

Niko wasn't surprised by Roman's anger, but it didn't make it easier.

"Roman, there are somethings we are not meant to know. Trust me." Niko kept his voice even, but Roman knew him too well.

Roman narrowed his eyes, his fists and jaw clenched. He body trembled as he tried to keep his anger from rising. The e-mails swirled in his mind, badgering him to get the truth. If Niko couldn't be truthful, he doubted he could trust him again.

"Tell me now, NB. I have every right to know what happened. What  _really_  happened."

Niko stood there in the middle of that living-room, trying to find it in him to tell Roman the truth. He didn't know why Roman had suspicions now and he wasn't sure who could have said anything. His mother was the only other person alive who knew about his dark secret and she would never tell.

In the end, the truth had to be revealed.

Niko sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Roman… I did lie to you. I wanted to hide what really happened because I feared the truth would be too much for you. Cousin, I found Aunt Vlada dead. Someone had… she was…" He paused to fight back the prickly sensation in his stomach as memories of that horrible evening came flooding back. Finally, he continued, his voice choked with grief. "Someone had… they raped her, Roman. They raped her and cut her throat. I tried to find who did it, but I didn't know where to start... My father told me to cover it up in a fire. He said it was for the best. Looking back on it, I should have known better, but I couldn't think straight and went along with his plan… I'm so sorry, cousin..."

Roman was staring straight ahead at the plain beige wall. His nails were digging into his pants and cutting through the material. For a moment, Niko thought Roman had mentally checked out. He moved closer and touched Roman's arm. Roman jumped up from the sofa and violently jerked away. His blue eyes glittered with a mixture of hatred, fury, and tears. His chest burned as his heart hammered wildly. Denial tried to save Roman, but the truth wouldn't let itself stay buried any longer.

"All this time, you fucking knew what happened..." Roman said, softly.

"Roman, I did what was best. If I could I would-"

"Don't bullshit me!" Roman roared. "Because as far as I'm concerned, nothing you say from here on out will ever hold weight again. I brought you here to this country!"

"I know."

"I made sure you had a place to stay. I gave you money, a phone, a job! I wanted you to have a better start here than I had and you repay me by lying. Well, fuck you, Niko Bellic! Fuck you, you ungrateful, lying, disloyal asshole!"

Niko stormed over to Roman, closing in on the space between them. Yes, he had lied to his cousin, and yes, it was wrong of him, but to be called disloyal, not once, but twice wasn't something Niko was going to take.

" _I'm_  disloyal and ungrateful? Because last I remember, I was the one who got you out of debt. I was the one who risked my life every day, dealing with the Russian mob, dealing with the Italian mob, dealing Irish thugs, corrupt law enforcement all so you could piss away the money again. Everything I did was for both of us!"

If Roman was afraid of his cousin looming over him he wasn't showing it. There was only one other time Niko had tried intimidating Roman and that was when he messed around with Milia Tadic. He had never seen Niko so angry before. Roman swore Niko was going to hit him and he almost did, but then just as suddenly as his anger came, it quickly faded and Niko walked away.

"As if that excuses your lies! All you've ever done was make things worse for me! If I had known what kind of a person you are, then I would never have brought you here." He jabbed his finger into Niko's chest when he spoke.

"And if I had known about your bullshit, then I wouldn't have bothered coming here to this miserable country! I would be better off!"

Roman would come to regret what he was about to say next, but standing there in that house while his emotions were running high, all he could think about was hurting Niko as bad as he had hurt Roman.

"Lily told Mallorie she was pregnant. I feel sorry for her and that child. It makes me wonder how they would feel if they knew you are nothing but a violent, cold-hearted liar! You're no better than Zoron!"

The words cut deep and stung, but Niko wasn't going to sit there and take it.

"At least I won't squander away my child's college fund on illegal card games!"

Roman scoffed. "How sanctimonious of you."

"I think you need to leave now. You got what you wanted," Niko said quietly.

Roman walked passed him, his shoes clicking and echoing in the living-room, and stopped at the front door. His hand lingered on the door handle as he tried to think of something to say. Niko stood there with his back facing him. Finally, Roman turned the handle and left.

When he was sure Roman was gone, Niko stormed outside and found the largest oak tree and slammed his fist into it. It did not phase the tree one bit and never gave into his blows. The flesh on his knuckles tore, but it didn't stop him. Once he felt satisfied for the time being, he relaxed and his heart was racked with guilt. This was never supposed to get out, but it had and now the only question he had left was who had told Roman? Why do this now?

Memories of that day came flooding back to him. He could still smell the blood when he first entered the house. His aunt's dead violated body was an image forever etched into his brain and time had not erased it from his memory. His mother had found him sitting on the front porch crying. When he told her what happened she broke down and cried too. His father came home ten minutes later and demanded to know what happened. When they explained, Niko saw grief flash in his father's eyes. It was the first he had seen humanity in them in a long time.

In the next moment, a petrol can was shoved into his hands and Zoron instructed his son to douse everything in Vlada's home.

" _You and I both know that Roman can't handle something like this. He's too soft. He's not hardened like you or me."_  Zoron had said.

Before they set everything a flame, Niko managed to sneak out of the house with some pictures and cards she had meant to Roman. Niko's mother still had those pictures somewhere in a chest.

Whoever knew about this terrible secret he'd carried with him all these years, clearly wanted to destroy the bond between Niko and Roman. What he didn't understand was why?

His stomach twisted into painful knots and a wave of nausea crashed over him. The contents of his stomach were emptied out in the bushes. Once it was over, Niko walked back inside the house and rinse his mouth. He placed a cool rag on his face in an attempt to calm himself. It worked a little but now he felt drained.

After everything the cousins had been through, someone had succeeded in tearing them apart. Now Niko was left with the task of picking up the pieces and mending things back together.


	28. Confessions

When Lily came home that evening, most of the sky was blanketed in a deep blue with the tinge of blazing orange slowly faded away to the west. The porch light wasn't on, making it hard to navigate up the steps. Trigg and Star offered to help her, but she declined. She was tired of everyone treating her like a glass doll.

With grocery bags in hand, she made her way up the steps as the truck drove off. Her only source of light was the soft glow of a lamp in the living-room. She awkwardly turned the door handle with one hand full of bags. Once the door was opened, she pushed it all the way and was met with silence.

She kicked the door shut behind her and walked into the dark kitchen. She set the groceries on the counter and flipped on the light. The fluorescent bulb flickered to life and brightened her surroundings. The brightness in the kitchen combined with the emptiness made everything around her feel eerie.

She looked out her kitchen window and saw nothing but blackness. After turning on the back porch light, she found it brought little comfort and she shut the curtains.

The time she spent with her brother that day made her feel a little better. She went window shopping with Star on main street, looking at the baby clothes and feeling giddy at the tiny shoes and hats. This wasn't going to be so bad, she thought. Seeing the cribs decorated for display gave her hope for the future and helped her temporary put thoughts of Damir and Liberty City out of her mind.

The weather was mild, the sky clear, and the streets were not crowded as they usually were. Lily was glad she came along to spend time with her niece. Star chatted away, bombarding Lily with tons of questions.

"What's Liberty City like?"

"How was driving a cab?"

"What's it feel like to be pregnant?"

"Should I ask this boy out?"

Lily stopped looking at the baby clothes at the last question. Star stood there, holding a stuffed lamb in one hand.

"You like a boy?" Lily asked.

Star nodded and tried to hide a blush with her hair. "His name is Jason. We share three classes together, but I can't get him to notice me."

Lily gave a nervous laugh and placed a small dress back on the rack. She looked at her niece curiously and suddenly felt old.

_I'm pregnant and she's interested in boys. Where did the time go?_

"Star, I don't think I'm the one you should be asking about this. I've never had luck with boys either. They didn't notice me all that much."

"But then who do I talk to about it?"

"What about a friend?"

Star shook her head. "I don't have any friends."

"Oh," Lily said quietly. "My only advice is to be yourself."

"How did you get Niko to notice you?"

They looking over the toys when Lily answered, "I didn't do anything. It just happened..." she felt her face heat up thinking about that stormy night when she admitted her feelings to Niko.

"I should just let it happen?"

"I think that would be best. Maybe talk to him a few times and find out what he likes?"

Star smiled. "Thanks, Lily, I'll give it a try!"

Lily ended up buying the stuffed lamb, a tiger plush for Jessie's son, and an outfit. It was too soon to start buying things, but it was too cute to pass up.

After leaving the store, she walked to the nearest ATM to check her account. Her good mood was quickly ruined when she saw how low she was on funds. Seeing that she only had less than two-thousand in her account made her want to cry. She could have sworn she had more than that. She tried to remember if she had made any elaborate purchases, but nothing came to mind and she was never one for big spending anyway. With the money that she had, she went grocery shopping and bought more supplies for the house.

She placed everything in its rightful place before making herself something to drink. The house was too quiet, making her feel even more uncomfortable. Where was Niko? She wondered.

She placed her glass in the sink and walked down the hallway that led to their room. The room was empty, not just because Niko wasn't there, but also because they didn't have much in there. So far they only had two mattresses on the floor and a dresser with a mirror. Unpacked boxes that were labeled "Lily's stuff" were stacked in one corner.

The only sound in the room was the ceiling fan whirling and clinking above her. The blades' shadows danced around the room, giving it a jaded feel about the space.

Lily flopped onto the bed and sighed as she stared up at the white ceiling that was dusted with sparkles. She took out her phone and tried to call Niko, but his phone went straight to voicemail. She texted him instead, asking for him to call her when he had a chance.

Laying on the bed next to her was her laptop. Suddenly, she had an urge to play  _Radiation 3_. She hadn't played in weeks and decided to head back out into the wasteland with her canine companion. At least video games would help take her mind off of Niko for now.

Half an hour later she had leveled up after completing a difficult quest. She paused the game and was about to call Niko again when headlights beamed through the blinds. Looking outside revealed that he'd returned. The familiar red and white Sabre pulled into the driveway a little too fast, causing gravel to spray in every direction. She became concerned because he never drove like that unless he was angry.

Lily shut her computer and quickly made her way into the living-room. The door flew open and smacked the wall behind it. Niko walked inside, drunk and looking upset.

"Where have you been?" Lily questioned.

Niko's auburn eyes rested on her. She wondered if he really saw her or if maybe in his intoxicated state, he wasn't fully aware of her presences.

"Niko, are you okay?"

Finally, he said, "No, I'm not."

"Why did you go out drinking?"

He scowled at her. "Why do you have you ask me all these questions? Yes, I went out and had a few drinks. Is that a problem?"

"It seems like you've had more than a few drinks."

"Back off of me!" he snapped.

She flinched away like a hurt animal. "Please don't be like this. I'm here for you."

He walked passed her and down the hallway, acting as if he hadn't heard what she said. She followed after him. He tossed his jacket on top of the boxes. It irritated Lily, but she couldn't focus on that right now.

"Why are you shutting me out?" she asked.

"I'm not," he grumbled.

His gaze hardened when he looked at her. Of course, she knew he'd never hurt her, but the way he was looking at her at that moment, made her feel afraid.

"Yes, you are. You're shutting me out and pushing me away. You do this every time something is wrong. I don't understand why you can't talk to me."

"Because I don't fucking want to! How hard is it for you to understand? I don't have to tell you how I'm feeling all the time. It has nothing to do with you! So leave me alone!"

His words hurt her more than he knew. She had to know what was wrong so she could help him through it. It hurt to see him this way.

"Talking is an important part of a healthy relationship. Niko… I know you still hurt over your past and I also know that you are the vigil-"

" _STOP!_ " he shouted. "I said leave me alone and drop it! That's the final time I'll ask!"

Her gaze averted from him to the floor as her heart shattered. She wanted to cry but found she couldn't. Silence hung in the air for several long moments as she waited for him to say something. When he didn't, she looked back up at him. He wasn't looking at her, but at the closet door with his jacket clutched tightly in his hand. Panic rose inside of her at the thought of him leaving again.

"Niko… please."

He gave an exasperated sigh before throwing his jacket back on the boxes. "This isn't the right time for this," he said quietly. Before she could say another word, he left the room.

She knew she was pushing him, but she had to get him to open up more. She found him in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of vodka.

He didn't look at her when she reached out and touched his arm. Much to her surprise, he didn't pull away from her. "I need you to talk to me."

"I can't." His voice was strained and she swore she felt him tremble.

The pain she was feeling was almost unbearable. "That's it, I-I can't do this anymore!"

"I don't need this right now," he said while rubbing his temples.

"If you can't open up, then it shows how little you care for me and if that's the case, then I can't keep doing this." With that, she turned and walked away. Now it was her turn to leave him there without a chance to reply.

Niko watched her go back to their room; His chest tightening as he watched her black hair sway when she walked. He wanted to run after her and tell her he didn't mean the things he said, but he found himself frozen in place by her words.

She didn't look back to make sure he was watching. Once she shut the bedroom, it felt as if she was shutting him out and blocking him from hurting her anymore. He couldn't understand why it was a big deal for him to open up to her. It wasn't her problem and she didn't need to burden herself with it. Especially now that she was carrying his child.

His child.

The sonogram was tapped to the fridge. He reached out and gently touched it, making that tightening pain worsen. Since the ambush eleven years earlier, Niko only had one purpose in his life and that was revenge. He almost found a new one in Kate, but that was quickly snuffed out thanks to Pegorino. He assumed he'd go the rest of his life alone and he was fine with that. He had to be or else he would have gone mad. Then he met Lily and the heart he thought died along with Kate, came to life once again. Both Lily and their unborn had given Niko a new resolution for life.

For the first time in a long time, Niko could admit that he was happy. Despite everything that happened recently, he felt genuine, breathtaking happiness. He wanted to be with Lily until he died and wanted to raise this child with her. Now thanks to his inability to simply talk about what had taken place only hours earlier, he could lose all of that.

Niko sighed, pushed himself off the counter, and decided to check on Lily. Half-way down the hall, he thought of leaving her be for the rest of the night but then decided against it. He needed solitude when he was sorting through his emotions, but Lily was different. She needed someone to comfort her, though she'd never admit it. Quietly, he continued to their room and stopped right at the door.

His hand rested on the doorknob, still hesitant to go in and talk to her. Hearing her crying on the other side hurt him more than he realized. He pushed the door open and found her lying on her side, with her back facing him, and hugging a pillow. At the sound of the door opening, her crying subsided and she glanced over her shoulder to see him standing in the doorway.

"Lily?"

She looked away and tugged at the sheets to cover herself.

"I know you're mad at me, but I would like to talk with you about some things. I'll be in the living-room waiting."

She nodded under the covers but didn't move to get up right away. He left the room to give her space and time to decide on whether or not she wanted to talk.

Ten minutes later, Lily and Niko were sitting on the couch, side by side. Lily kept some distance between them, with a large red throw blanket wrapped around her. It was cold that night, but she also used it as a barrier between her and Niko. It brought her some comfort and a sense of protection even though deep down she wanted him to hold her.

In front of them were two cups of green tea on the coffee table. She watched as the steam danced above their beverages. Niko didn't like green tea, but he didn't say anything when she made it. At that moment, he had to be careful with her.

"The reason I don't tell you anything," Niko began. "Is because, when I'm with you, I don't like to think about all the terrible shit that's happened in my life. I only want to think about you. You help me forget and I was grateful you never asked me a million questions about my life as so many others have done. Even Kate was always asking me questions when I wasn't ready to give her the answers. I wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. I knew eventually I would have to tell you, but after you told me you were pregnant, the truth would have to come out soon or later."

She didn't look at him when he said all of this. Instead, she concentrated on her mug of tea.

"I'm sorry," she said in a strained voice. "I didn't want to bring up bad memories for you. I only wanted to make sure you're okay. You rarely drink anymore and then suddenly you come home buzzed and I don't know how you found a bar."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He took a drink of tea then leaned back against the couch. "Roman came over while you were away."

She finally looked at him and inched closer. "What did he say?"

"He asked about his mother."

"His mother?"

"She was..." That awful memory crawled back into his mind. "raped and murdered. I found her that way. When I had to tell Roman, I lied and said she died in a house fire. Today, I told him the truth. I don't know why he started questioning it now, but I guess it doesn't matter because he hates me now."

From under the blanket, her hand emerged and touched his. The fact that she was willing to give him any physical contact brought him some comfort.

"He doesn't hate you, Niko. He's hurt and you need to give him time. He'll come around, you'll see." He took her hand and hoped she would move closer, but she kept her distance. "I want to know how bad your crimes were. You once said killing was easy, but I don't know the extent of it."

He sighed and withdrew from her. This wasn't going to be easy. "It's true… I have killed. Not just in the war, but here too. I was occasionally a hitman for various people. I didn't like it, but I tried to tell myself that these people were scum and I needed the money. Still, it did not make things easier. Their deaths still haunt me, no matter how I try to justify it." He didn't look at her. He was too afraid to see the look on her face. She was going to reject him, he knew it. "After Kate died, I continued doing jobs. Mainly stealing cars for Brucie or doing a hit for some unknown contact. Then one day, I woke up and decided I didn't want that anymore. It is not what Kate would have wanted."

 _There's Kate again._  Lily thought bitterly, then quickly felt bad about it.  _I shouldn't be jealous of her and I try not to be, but I can't help but wonder if Niko thinks about her while he's with me._

"Are you the vigilante I hear about on the radio?" she asked.

"Yes."

"That explains why you always left late at night and why you're always tired. When was the last time you went out?"

"Two nights before… before Damir kidnapped you."

She tilted her head and gave him a puzzled look. "Why do it?"

"I wanted to right all the wrongs I've made in my past. I thought I could make a small difference, by doing so, but it never made me feel better. I still felt… empty."

He faced her then and studied her for any hint of rejection that she might have for him, but instead, he saw a look pain and sympathy.

"Niko, I had no idea. I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be sorry. I've made my own mistakes in life and I have to live with the guilt and shame. It was my fault my brother died, it was my fault Roman got hurt, and it was my fault Kate died."

She was closer now and took his hand again. "None of those things were your fault. Bad things happen and sometimes there is nothing we can do about it."

He frowned and said, "You weren't there so how would you know?"

His sharp tone hurt and she looked away. Feeling the sting of guilt, Niko entwined their hands and he moved closer to her.

"I didn't mean to snap," he murmured. "I'm sorry."

She sniffed and rubbed a teary eye. "What was your brother's name?"

"Josef," he replied. "He was five years younger than me and I was meant to protect him, but I failed. He fell down a well and died instantly. Roman and I saw it happen, but we don't talk about it."

By now she had moved closer to him. His arm was placed around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. He continued to confess all of the things he'd done, though he held back a lot of information. Too much would probably stress her out more than what he had done to her already. He couldn't risk her having a miscarriage.

Once he was finished, it was well past midnight and both of them were tired. He helped her up off the couch and walked with her to the bedroom. The buzz from the alcohol had long since faded and now all he could think about was getting some sleep. They crawled under the covers and snuggled against each other for warmth and comfort.

Just as Lily began to drift off, Niko whispered, "Why choose me?"

Lily opened her eyes and shifted to face him, "Because, I see you have a good heart. No matter what you tell yourself, you're still a good man."

Overwhelmed by the feelings he had for her, he kissed her and told her that he loved her.

"I love you, too," she replied.

She turned back around and faced the wall. Niko ran his fingers through her hair until she fell asleep. His hand drifted down to her flat stomach and stayed there for the rest of the night. She told him it would be months before they would feel any movement, but he didn't care. Just knowing it was there was enough for him.

Sleep came easier for then he thought it would, but his dreams quickly turned into nightmares.

* * *

Mallorie held Roman as he cried on the couch in the apartment Niko owned in Alderney. After a few weeks had passed, her mother made it clear that she had overstayed her welcome so Niko gave her the apartment. He told her he wouldn't be using it for a long time and she could stay as long as she wished, but even here, she felt like a burden.

But she wasn't worried about that. No, her focus was on Roman in the present moment. He arrived at her doorstep with bloodshot eyes shimmering with tears. At first, she thought he had been drinking, but she didn't smell alcohol on him. When she asked what he wanted in an icy tone he broke down and cried. In an instant, all the anger she held for him melted away.

Now here she was, listening to her husband as he told what happened between him and Niko earlier that day. A mixture of emotions swept over her, from anger towards Niko to sadness for Roman. She had never seen him cry like this before and if she were honest, it frightened her.

Across the room, Mijo sat in his playpen that double as a bed and watched the strange display before him. Roman was thankful that his son didn't understand what was going on.

"I can't stand the sight of him, Mallorie. He betrayed me!" Roman said.

Mallorie ran her fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe him. It seemed to be working, at least for now. "Take all the time you need. You don't have to forgive him right now."

"I don't want to forgive him at all!" Roman choked out. "As far as I'm concerned, he is dead to me!"

"You'll have to forgive him someday, Roman. You can't carry this anger in your heart forever. Niko is your family and you must make amends with him. Maybe not today, but eventually."

Roman lifted his head off her shoulder and looked her in the eyes. "You and Mijo are my family and I want you to come home."

As tempting as it was for her, she had to say no.

"But why not?" he asked. The look of pain on his face made her heart crack.

"There was another killing recently," she said. "This time it was brutal. God, he smashed her face in beyond recognition."

An icy stone formed in Roman's stomach. He swallowed and took her hand, telling himself that he was comforting her, but really it was more for his own benefit. "A-Are you sure? Maybe it was her husband or..."

She shook her head. "No, I think it was Damir." She leaned against her husband and continued, "I'm so scared, Roman. I can't leave the apartment out of fear for mine and Mijo's safety."

"I'll figure something out," Roman said. "With or without Niko."

"You'll have to forgive him someday," she repeated.

Roman rose from the couch and took Mijo from his playpen. He took his place back beside Mallorie and looked down at his son. He missed them both so much that it hurt to breathe at times. He had really fucked up when he started gambling again. As Mijo babbled in his baby talk Roman promised himself he would do better from now on.

"I'm sorry, Mallorie. I was gambling, yes, but never would I desecrate our wedding vows," Roman said.

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "I know. Things have been so difficult for me lately, that it was hard for me to believe you, but I still love you. Please know that."

Hearing those words brought Roman a little comfort. Even after everything that happened that day, he knew that as long he had Mallorie everything would be okay.

* * *

The rays of the morning sun beamed through the open curtains, casting its light into the bedroom and giving it an orange glow. Niko groaned and turned over but the vanity mirror on the dresser reflected the light into his eyes. He yanked the covers over his head to drown out the sun, but the events of the previous night came rushing back into his mind.

He sat up in bed, flinching as the morning rays hit his eyes. As he ran a hand through his short hair, he looked around the room and realized he was alone in the room. He tossed the blankets off of himself and grabbed a fresh pair of clothes for the day. After leaving the room, he went throughout the rest of the house, looking for Lily, but found that she wasn't anywhere in the house.

Fear came over him at the thought of her leaving. After what happened the night before he wouldn't blame her if she did.

He stepped outside and looked towards the east where the Bedard properties sat. Out in the distance, he saw three figures moving towards the barn and noticed one of them was Lily. He'd recognize her long black hair anywhere. When they disappeared inside, he decided to walk towards the barn to make sure everything was okay.

Lily had helped her brothers deliver a foal in the early hours of the morning. It was breached, but with the knowledge she had gained during her time as a vet tech, she managed to save both mare and baby. The palomino mare gave birth to a paint filly. Both of them were doing fine now, but Lily stayed with them just case anything changed, giving Trigg and Blackie a chance to get back to their other chores.

The sight brought back memories of when The TrailBlazer had delivered her filly, whom Lily had named The Nightmare. The horse had been difficult to train and when it was time for Lily to move, she was forced to sell Nightmare. Trigg didn't want to deal with an un-trainable horse. She still missed that spirited mare, but at least she still had Blaze. Behind her, said horse gave snort, annoyed that her rider was giving another beast more attention than her. Lily giggled and patted Blaze on the snout. The mare nudged her, demanding more petting.

"What are you doing out here?"

Niko's voice took her attention away from her horse. He was standing at the entrance of the barn with a worried look.

"Trigg and Blackie needed my help. Come on, let's step outside and give mother and baby their peace."

Niko glanced briefly at the mare and foal before agreeing to follow her outside. She zipped up her jacket as the icy wind swept through the area and guided him to the back of the barn. She leaned back against the red structure, wondering what he had to say.

"So, how did you sleep?" she asked.

"Fine. Are you alright?"

She nodded but didn't look at him.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what? We already talked."

"I lied to you from the very beginning. I should have been honest, but I didn't want to chase you away."

"It's alright, Niko. I had a feeling there was more to your story, but I didn't want to pressure you or anything. I love you and it hurts to see you suffer."

Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against his body. The display of affection was surprising to her. Most of the time it was her who showed affection first. Unusual or not, this was nice. She returned the embrace. He ran his hand through her wind-whipped hair and rested his cheek against her forehead. They stayed that way for what seemed like forever to them. Her family was most likely watching, but Lily did not care.

He finally stepped back, giving her some breathing room.

"I have to go back to the city," he said.

The thought of Niko leaving her alone was frightening. "Now?"

"Tomorrow. I need to figure out what I'll be doing about Damir."

"Forget Damir and forget Liberty City! We can live here and start our lives over. We don't need to worry about him anymore." Lily grabbed onto his leather jacket, afraid of letting him go. "Please stay here."

The look of sheer panic and desperation in her eyes almost convinced him to not go. However, he knew that they couldn't truly begin their new lives until Damir was taken care of. He couldn't sleep at night knowing that Mallorie was in danger despite what happened between him and Roman.

"I have to go, but I promise I'll be careful."

Lily took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "You better, Niko Bellic, because you have something to live for now."

His heart fluttered with excitement and joy at the thought of one day seeing his child. It made him want to stay with Lily on the ranch all the more. He had to keep telling himself that everything he was doing was for Lily and the life that grew inside of her.

The question he had been wanting to ask her hung in his throat, but now wasn't the time. He hoped that when the time did come, her answer would be yes.


	29. The Shape

The neon lights in Chinatown put off an ominous glow on its surroundings. With the fog that had rolled in, it made it all the more foreboding. The buildings glowed yellow from the many offices holding occupants still working long into the night, sirens wailed, people chattered away on their phones, and horns blared as pedestrians prematurely darted out into the streets.

One man walked down an empty street with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He kept his head down as he made his way towards a place he knew all too well. He walked down the steps and pushed open the red door. He was greeted by a Chinese man who was very familiar with Niko, although neither knew each other's names.

Various weapons were laid out on a table. From 9mm pistols to rocket launchers, they were all there and ripe for the picking. Niko walked past them all and selected ammo for his combat pistol. The owner of the shop watching Niko curiously. One year ago, he would have cleaned out the shop for whatever mission he had next, but that wasn't his life anymore and he was going to make sure he'd never go back to that.

Once his ammo was purchased, he quickly left the shop and walked briskly back to his Sabre. Inside, he brought the car to life with a turn of a key. The radio softly played The Journey while he waited for the heater to warm up again. He leaned back in his seat and went over the report in the paper for the tenth time that night. Another body of a woman had been found. She wasn't strangled this time but beaten to death. The papers didn't say it was The Night Terror, but they didn't have to; Niko knew it was him. He wasn't doing this for sick kicks anymore, but because he was angry. Angry that Darko was dead and angry that Lily had gotten away.

After finishing the paper, he drove for Alderney where someone was waiting for him.

An hour later he was parked across the street from a house in Westdyke. By then the sky had opened up, casting rain down upon the city.

The silhouette of a woman holding an infant could be seen in the window pacing back and forth as Niko walked up the steps. Before he could have a chance to knock, the door opened. There stood Jessie, her hair pulled back into a messy bun, a receiving blanket was thrown over her shoulder. She wore a baggy shirt and tight-fitting PJ bottoms. The baby was cradled with one arm while the other held the door open.

"Long time, no see, stranger," Jessie said.

"Hey," he replied. "How have you been?"

She shrugged. "Tired, sore, but other than that, I'm doing okay." She pushed the door open wider. "Well come in. I think I have some punch left."

"I don't need anything. Besides, you seem a little overwhelmed," he said as he took a seat on the couch.

She laughed and said, "You don't know the half of it." Rusty-James began to fuss in her arms. "I know, I know, you're hungry."

"I'm sorry I came here at an odd hour."

"It's alright, I don't think he's going to be asleep anytime soon."

She mixed formula and water into a bottle then shook it up. After checking the temperature to make sure it was safe for the baby, she took a seat across from Niko in an armchair. With a pillow under her arm, she began to feed the baby.

"Man, I haven't had a good night sleep in weeks," Jessie said.

"It doesn't seem easy," Niko commented.  _This will be my life soon._

"It's not, but he's worth it."

"Oh, I almost forgot." He reached into his coat pocket and took out a small stuff tiger and placed it on the couch. "Lily wanted me to bring you this."

"Thanks, Niko. How she anyway? The mornin' sickness still gettin' her down?"

"It's still hard, you know, but it's getting better for her."

Jessie nodded. "So, how's the hunt goin'?"

"Not as well as I hoped," he admitted. "I'm having to adjust to the city all over again."

When Niko came back to Liberty City, it was a jarring experience. Not as bad as when he first arrived off the docks, but he had grown used to not having sirens as an alarm clock and not seeing billboards blinking at him. He was away from Madison for only three days and already he missed it. He missed Lily.

"Yeah, I can understand," Jessie said.

"So, what information do you have for me?"

Jessie withdrew the bottle from Rusty's mouth and set it aside. The infant began to fuss as she put him on her shoulder and gave him a pat on the back. "Melissa saw a man that fit the same description as Damir Brevic in Tudor, headin' towards Acter Industrial Park this evening. Said he was in a dark blue Willard."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?"

The baby burped and she positioned him back in her arms. "I don't know if you've noticed Niko, but I've been a bit preoccupied lately. I didn't remember until a few hours ago."

Niko leaned forward, his clasped together. "Okay, so will he still be there?"

"If anyone can tell you, it's a prostitute who works on Grenadier Street in Industrial Park. Her name is Carla. She's got short bleach blonde hair, brown eyes, and freckles. Sweet kid, one of ours."

"You have prostitutes?"

"No, but some of our sisters are sex workers and it has nothing to do with The Steel Roses." Niko looked skeptical, which annoyed Jessie. "I ain't-a pimp, Niko. Carla works independently to pay her bills. She don't bring that around the club."

"Whatever you say, Jessie," Niko deadpanned. Then he added. "Where's Johnny?"

She scoffed. "Out with his brothers. We're moving to San Andreas at the end of the year and he's trying to gather as many Lost members as he can to follow us there. We already have Terry and Clay willing to go, but some still need convincing."

"He should be here with you."

Jessie shrugged and looked down at Rusty-James. "The brothers come first, but I ain't mad about it or nothin'. I mean, yeah, it's annoying sometimes, but Johnny is a good father."

Niko wasn't sure about that. He couldn't imagine prioritizing anything over his own child. To put something like a biker gang first, showed that Johnny probably wasn't a very good father, but Niko didn't say these things to Jessie. If she wanted to live with her head buried in the sand, then that was her business.

"I should be going," Niko said. "I'll go look for this Carla and thanks."

Jessie nodded. "Yeah, don't mention it. Good luck and be careful."

By the time he left Jessie's place, the rain calmed to a drizzle. He drove through Alderney, passing homeless people huddle together, hookers trying to entice him, someone about to break into a car. Just another night in this godforsaken state. Several members of the Steel Roses flew past Niko at full speed, causing him to almost hit one.

It was past midnight when he made it to Industrial Park. His drove slowly through the area, scanning it for any signs of Damir. No dark blue Willards could be found, nor were there any heavily scarred blonds. He grew frustrated when he didn't find him and decided to talk to Carla.

She was exactly where Jessie said she would be on Grenadier Street. He found the woman standing on the corner trying to seduce a man in an orange Banshee while holding an umbrella. Niko ducked into an alley and watched to see what would happen next. The hooker and her potential customer began to argue. He couldn't hear what they were talking about, but Niko figure they were haggling prices. Back when he was feeling "lonely" he never complained about how much a working girl charged, he just wanted release after a stressful day. A year ago, Niko would have definitely taken this girl up on her offer, but that was in the past.

When Carla refused to budge on her price, the man in the Banshee called her obscenities and peeled out. She screamed at him that he was an asshole as he sped off and tossed a brick at the car. Lucky for both of them she missed.

She straightened her fur coat, adjusted her thigh-high boots, and smoothed out her leopard printed mini-skirt. Niko stepped out of the shadows and began walking towards her. He accidentally kicked a glass bottle, startling the woman. She quickly took a gun from her jacket and aimed it at Niko. He froze in place with his hands in the air.

"Whoa, hey, I'm not here to hurt you!" he said.

"Then what the fuck  _do_ you want?" Carla snapped in a thick Alderney accent. She continued to keep her gun leveled at him.

"I am here because Jessie said you can help me."

She hesitated for a brief moment before she lowered her weapon, to which, Niko lowered his hands. "Jessie sent you? What's your name?"

"Niko Bellic," he replied.

"Oh yeah, she called ahead and said you'd be here. She said you was lookin' for some guy. What'd they say he was? Oh yeah- tall, blond, crooked nose, and a scar on his face. Well, you're just in luck, because some dude who fit the description was out and about in this area earlier. He picked up another girl earlier named Samantha. Stupid kid, I keep running her off 'cause this is my corner, but anyway, that dude showed up in a dark-colored Willard and took her."

Niko grew worried at this information. "He took her?"

"I mean, she didn't wanna go, but she went anyway."

"Which way were they heading?"

"Headin' east, going toward Musketeer Avenue from what I could tell," she said.

"Thanks," he said. "Um… shouldn't you be indoors? It is safe to be out here right now and it's pretty cold."

Carla rolled eyes. "I've got a gun, so don't worry about me." Then she eyed him up and down and grinned. "You know, if you get bored you can come see me later. A handsome guy like you shouldn't be all alone."

Niko shook his head. "No thank you, I'm taken."

The woman laughed and said, "So are most of my clients."

"You, uh, have a nice night." With that, Niko turned and walked away, leaving the prostitute to get back to work.

He didn't find Damir but did find Samantha or at least her body. The poor woman had been strangled and dumped on to a pile of garbage bags as if she were nothing but a piece of trash. Her lifeless eyes stared back at Niko, her body sprawled out, and her left ankle appeared to be broken. Anger pulsed through him as he looked down at the poor girl's body.

After anonymously reporting her murder to the police via phone booth, Niko fled the area and continued his search. He cursed himself, wishing he had been here sooner, but there was nothing he could do now.

He drove slowly through Industrial Park and Tudor, checking for any signs of Damir but came up with nothing. By the end of the night, he was frustrated and tired, but he didn't go back to one of the apartments. Instead, he went to one of the few places he could find peace.

* * *

Aside from one other person on the other side of the cemetery, Niko was alone.

He knelt down and tended to her grave by pulling weeds, and taking out old faded fake flowers someone had left. The grave had been taken care of despite the fact that it had been months since he visited her. He felt bad about it even though there wasn't a reason to be. Someone was looking after her, but he couldn't figure out who it could have been. Gerald was still in prison, Packie swore he was never coming back, Kate never had any real friends she could depend on, and Packie once said their father had chased away any extended family they had. It didn't matter he supposed as long as someone else out there remembered her. Kate being forgotten so quickly was a depressing thought.

His chest tightened, his throat hurt, and he could feel his eyes warming as tears threatened to well up. He could almost hear Kate now in her lecturing tone that she tended to have.

_Niko, you really need to pull yourself together. Stop crying over me when you have someone else now. Move on. Be happy. You need to grow up!_

But that was easier said than done. Even though he had Lily now, he still missed Kate and knew he would spend the rest of his life doing so. He thought back to the first time he met her. Walking into the McReary house while Mrs. McReary preached to her grown children about God and judgment. He didn't notice her until she giggled at his joke. It was then he thought he had found the one.

She didn't like to do much when they went out, but that was alright with him because he didn't like much either. All he needed was her company and that was fine by him. She was bad at darts and pool and sometimes he'd let her win just to see her happy. He could still hear her cheerful voice on the other end of the phone when he'd ask her out. Sometimes, she didn't seem too happy to hear from him which hurt, but he couldn't blame her. There were times when he was in a heavy firefight with mobsters or two-bit thugs, he'd tell himself that if he made it through he would get to see her again and that was enough.

Now all he had to remember her by was a picture tucked away in his wallet and this headstone.

To put it plainly, it wasn't fair that someone like her had to pay for his actions. It wasn't fair that she had to die young. He should have swallowed his pride and did the deal instead of getting revenge. Maybe Roman was right, maybe he was cold and only cared about getting revenge and his away all the time.

He took the lily he had in hand and placed it on Kate's grave. A strange choice of a flower, but he hadn't realized what he had purchased until he got to the car. Or it could have been his subconscious telling him something.

 _I'm sorry, Kate,_ he thought.  _I'm sorry I couldn't stop Pegorino before it was too late. I'm sorry your life was cut short, and I'm sorry we couldn't see where our relationship would have taken us, but I'm moving on now. I've met someone new and even though it wasn't in my plans to do so, a lot of things in my life weren't. You're not here to tell me it's okay, but I'd like to think that you would be happy for me. I think you would have liked Lily._

Niko was far from sentimental or religious, but even though he knew she couldn't hear him, talking to Kate made him feel a little better.

Behind him, a car door slammed and light footsteps slowly made their way towards him. It only when a delicate hand touched his arm, did he acknowledge them. Standing beside him was Mallorie. When he looked at her, she stared straight ahead at the headstone not saying anything. Niko was puzzled as to why she was here, especially at this hour.

"You shouldn't be here," he said.

She gave a sad smile and replied, "I know, but I felt that I had to. Kate died at my wedding and since then I've been visiting her. I never met her, but I still feel bad for what happened."

"You've been keeping up with her gave, haven't you?"

"Yes," she said quietly. "After you and Lily left, I took up the task of looking after her. I sometimes talk to her, too."

"You do?"

"It sounds crazy, I know, but I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore. Elizabeta is in jail, Michelle was a rat, and most of my other friends scattered to the wind after Mijo was born. I'd talk to my mother but she's too judgmental."

"Can't you talk to Roman?"

Mallorie scoffed. "I can't talk with him. My crying and complaining are what drove him away in the first place." An icy wind came whirling through the cemetery, making her zip up her jacket. She crossed her arms and looked out into the darkness. There was a silence between them that lasted longer than she was comfortable with. "You hurt him, ya know," she said.

Niko stayed silent, not knowing what to say and wishing he could be anywhere but here. The last thing he wanted was to think about what happened between him and Roman.

"But he hurt you, too," she added. "You both will get through this, I swear. I won't let Roman stay mad at you." Smiled and patted his arm. "I should be going. Roman will freak out and then start calling me. I'll stop by that ranch you're living on when I get the chance. I have some baby clothes that don't fit Mijo anymore."

"Thank you," he replied.

She nodded. "I'll see ya around, Niko."

"Yeah… see you."

She turned to walk away, then stopped, and turned back. "Hey, Niko."

He looked back at her. "Yes?"

"Make sure Lily heals the hole in your heart instead of simply filling the void."

He nodded, unsure what to say to that.

He stayed at the cemetery long after Mallorie left. Her words kept echoing in his mind. Not only was she right, but it was probably the smartest thing she'd ever said. It didn't feel right to leave just yet even though something inside of him was telling him it was okay to go.

By the time he left, he felt drained.

* * *

He made it back to his empty apartment in North Holland an hour later. When he entered the place, something did not feel right. It was almost as if the house had been violated. As if someone had been here, although the doors were lock and everything had been left untouched. He reached into his jacket and touched the cool metal of his combat pistol for reassurance before making the rounds in the apartment.

Slowly he moved around the place, checking the outdoor deck, the bedroom, and bathroom. Even though even checked out to be okay, Niko couldn't get rid of that gut feeling. He had to reason with himself that no one was here and that no one had been here. The guard at the front desk would have said something if someone had been around and the ladder to the fire escape was raised up. Still, something wasn't right.

He went back outside, onto the deck and looked over the city. As he watched the people and cars down below, a shape in the darkness moved slowly rose from where he was hiding. His blond hair and dark green jacket were outlined by the city's lights cast behind him. His eyes narrowed at Niko as he silently crept towards him. He withdrew his revolver and slowly raised until it was leveled at Niko. This was it. After all these years, he would finally kill the man who ruined his life and disfigured him. His finger trembled in anticipation as it curled around the trigger.

He inched closer for a better shot and pulled the trigger.

The sound of a few gunshots erupted through the air, startling those in the neighborhood. Frightened citizens ran for cover and called 911 for help. Two police officers sitting in their cruiser looked at each other and shrugged. It was just another night in Liberty City for them.

Damir lied on the deck, blood trickling from the right side of his chest. He groaned in pain as a burning sensation spread throughout his body. He'd never been shot before and the feeling was almost unbearable. His revolver had been kicked out of his hand and laid somewhere out of his reach. Niko loomed over Damir, his expression showing nothing but disgust and hatred for the man beneath him.

"Not as clever as you thought you were, Damir.  _Uvek si bila kukavica,"_ Niko said.

Damir hissed in pain as his wound continued to burn. "Fuck you. Darko was right about you. Acting self-righteous when you've taken more lives than me."

Niko scoffed. "You and Darko both have no room to talk. This ends here and now."

Damir grinned wickedly. "That's what you think."

In one swift move, Damir pulled a large pocket knife and drove it into the side of Niko's left thigh. He cried out and stumbled backward, giving Damir the opportunity to rise up and knock Niko off his feet. Damir tackled Niko, pinning him down and putting pressure on his wounded leg.

"You killed my brother!" Damir snarled.

"Darko brought everything on himself!" Niko shot back. He managed to free one of his arms and land a punch on the side of Damir's head. Damir fell to his side as Niko pulled the knife from his leg. "You always were an idiot."

Damir tried pushing himself up, but the pain in his chest crawled down his right arm, causing it to give out under his weight. He collapsed to the ground and panted as the pain worsened. He grabbed the railing to the deck and braced himself to stand up. Before he had a chance to straighten himself, Niko charged at him. A fist full of his blond hair was taken into Niko's hand and he slammed Damir's head into the railing multiple times, stunning him long enough for Niko to deliver another blow to Damir. He lost his balance again but quickly steadied himself. Warm blood trickled from his nose and pooled in his mouth as Niko continued to smash his fist into Damir's disfigured face.

Memories of that day by the creek came flooding back for both men at that moment. Damir clung to the metal bar for dear life while Niko refused to stop until he was dead. Blind rage pulsed through Niko veins as he remembered what Damir had done to both Jelena and Lily. He could have shot the older man, but that would have been less satisfying than this. With each blow, Damir became more disoriented.

Damir stumbled back, putting enough distance between him and Niko. He took a swing and caught Niko in the chin. When he swung again, Niko grabbed Damir's wrist and twisted it until he heard the snap of bone. Damir yowled as pain surged through his arm. He took a step back and froze when he found himself at the edge of the fire escape. The railing had broken off at some point, leaving it exposed. Damir clutched tightly to what was left. He looked behind him and back at Niko.

"You should have thought twice before breaking into my place. You're not as clever as you think you are," Niko said.

Damir laughed despite the world of pain he was in. "And you should have thought twice before killing my brother. You and your whore of a girlfriend will pay for what you've done!"

"Darko got himself killed. It seems being a lying rat runs in your family."

Niko moved closer, mere inches from his enemy. "It's time you answered for your crimes. Goodbye, Damir."

Damir grinned wickedly and said, "Not until you've answered for yours."

In an instant, Damir grabbed Niko by the jacket before tipping backward. Both Serbs began to fall off the balcony. Time seemed to slow down for Niko as they went tumbling towards their deaths.

With luck, Niko had caught the second balcony, gripping the railing tightly. Relief washed over him, but it was short lived when he realized Damir was still hanging on to his jacket with his unbroken hand.

"If I die, you die too!" Damir growled.

"I'll pay for my sins when the time comes, but it won't be tonight!"

Damir tightened his grip and said, "And I'll be the one to make sure you answer for them."

With one swift, hard kick to Damir's bullet wound, he cried out and instinctively let go to grab the injured side of his chest. Niko watched as the older man fell into a dumpster and the plastic lids closed on him. He knew there was a chance Damir was more injured than dead.

"Hold on, Nicky! We're coming to help!"

Niko looked up and saw a familiar 'roid junkie looking over the balcony.

"Brucie, what are you doing here?" Niko asked as Brucie made his way down the steps.

Niko pulled himself up, swinging his good leg over the rail. By then Brucie had made it to him and help Niko the rest of the way. A sharp pains throbbed in Niko's leg. He held the wound as blood ebbed from it.

"Holy shit, NB, that was insane," Brucie said. "Shit, me and Bernie heard the fighting on the other side of the door. By the time I kicked it down, you and that crazy dude went over. We thought you were a goner for sure! Come on, man, let's get you back inside."

Reluctantly, Niko allowed Brucie to help him up the stairs and back inside where Bernie was cowering by the sliding glass door, biting one of his nails nervously.

"Is he alright?" Bernie asked.

"I'm fine," Niko replied. "What are you two doing here together?"

Brucie and Bernie looked at each other nervously, unsure if they could trust Niko with their secret. Niko thought back to the day after the Fourth of July party, remembering when Lily told him about Brucie and Bernie's relationship. He'd suspected that Brucie may have been gay or at least bisexual, but it was surprising to see him with Bernie. Then again, he could see them together. They were alike in a strange way.

"I already know about you two," Niko said. "And I don't care. I think it's great Bernie finally got away from Brice."

Bernie's eyes lit up at Niko's words and he became giddy. "Oh, I'm so glad that you approve!" When he saw Niko wince in pain, he quickly became worried. "Oh my, we need to get you inside and see to that leg!"

"Wait, go check the alley. I want to make sure that Damir didn't crawl out of the dumpster," Niko said.

Bernie rushed passed Niko and looked down into the alley. "Uh, Nicks, I don't know how you'll feel about this, but I think he's gone!"

Niko spun around and limped as fast as he could to Bernie. His friend was right, one of the lids to the dumpster and been opened and it appeared that Damir had managed to climb out. He swore under his breath. After all that, Damir had to energy to run. Niko scanned the streets down below for any sign of him but found nothing. He slammed his fist down on the concrete ledge.

"Damn!" he snarled.

"Come on, Nicks. You need medical attention..." Bernie said softly.

Blood had soaked through Niko's jeans, leaving a giant crimson spot on the side of his leg. He looked back down at the city's streets again and cursed himself for letting Damir get away. Finally, he agreed to go back inside and let his friends tend to his injuries.

He didn't know what Damir's next move would be, but he knew that if he didn't act fast, his loved ones would pay the price.


	30. Loneliness

The alarm clock chimed at nine am as it normally did. Since coming back to the city, Niko's sleeping pattern went back to the way it used to be. Erratic and unpredictable, not like the schedule he grew used to over the course of almost a year. He hit the snooze button for the tenth time that morning and rolled to his side. In his half-asleep state, he'd forgotten about his stab wound. The shooting pain in his leg was enough to wake him up. It hurt the night before, but he was definitely feeling it the next day.

He sat up in bed and checked his phone through blurred vision. Once it cleared he could see he had only one message and that was from Lily. Hearing from her lifted his spirits, but he wished Roman would reach out to him.

_Give him time. He'll come around._

He crawled out of bed, trying to not hurt himself any further, and limped into the bathroom. After his bandage was clean and he dressed for the day, he made his way into the living-room where he found Brucie asleep on the couch with a bat in his lap and Bernie on his shoulder. Niko shook his head and continued into the kitchen. He took out a loaf of bread, noticed it had molded, and tossed it out. Most of the food in his fridge went bad after being left there for over a month. What a waste, he thought. He shut the fridge and figured he'd buy breakfast from Burger Shot. Not an ideal meal, but it was better than nothing.

On the couch, Bernie lifted his head and stretched. He yawned and got up from the couch, walked into the kitchen, and sat at the bar. Bernie propped his head up with his elbow resting on the counter. He seemed troubled and Niko didn't blame at all. Damir always terrorized Bernie the most growing up. Damir used to call him "Florian the Faggot" and was taunted relentlessly until Niko punched Damir for it.

"I can't believe that monster is here in Liberty City. I moved here to get away from people like him," Bernie said.

"Don't worry, Flor- uh, Bernie, I doubt he knows about you. You're not his target anymore," Niko replied.

"You know, Nicks, I always thought Damir was capable of doing something as awful as that ambush, but not Darko. He seemed so… gentle back then. Maybe the abuse he faced when we were kids changed him?"

Niko scowled. "That is no excuse for what he did, but rest assured that Darko is now dead and Damir is next."

Bernie nodded, unsure of what to say. He knew he'd hit a nerve when he mentioned the ambush. There were bad days for Bernie when that day haunted his mind, but not as bad as it haunted Niko. He felt pity for his old friend, wishing that Niko could move on as easily as he did. Then again, Niko was always one to take things to heart a lot more than anyone else. From what Bernie could see, Niko was more sensitive than he let on.

"Enough about that brute!" Bernie said. "Let's talk about something positive. I hear the stork is paying you a visit soon."

Niko blinked. "What are you talking about? Why would a bird visit me?"

Bernie grinned. "You know..."

"No… I don't know."

Bernie rolled his eyes. "I swear, you need to learn better English. I heard from Roman that you are having a  _beba._ "

"Oh, well, yes it's true."

Bernie squealed with delight. "Congrats, Niko. It's about time you settled down. Even if it is on a smelly farm."

"Yeah, I guess so," Niko replied.

After Bernie and Brucie left, Niko cleaned the blood off the patio and spent the rest of the day taking it easy. He tried watching TV, but nothing was on, he checked his emails, but most of it was spam and nothing useful. Overall, he was bored and his leg wouldn't stop hurting. If he had to choose between being shot or stabbed, he'd rather take a bullet any day.

He spoke with Lily on the phone about the situation with Damir, although he left out the part where he broke into the apartment and told her he would be gone longer than expected. She didn't express her disappointment, but she didn't have to, he could hear it in her voice. He felt guilty but knew there wasn't much he could do about it. After their conversation ended, Little Jacob called wanting to hang out.

After giving it some thought, he agreed. Maybe it would help relax him.

* * *

Lily sat on Blaze and yawned as she overlooked the land before her. The day before, cattle from the neighboring ranch broke free and trampled through the property, plowing through their fences and spooking the horses. Blackie's buckskin was injured during the incident, leaving him in the stables for the next week and a large vet bill for him to pay. Now here she was, watching over the horses while her brother and father repaired the damages.

She sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and adjusted her position in the saddle.

"Quit moping," Blackie said beside her on a paint.

"I'm not," Lily replied. "I'm just tired."

"Mom rode your ass again, didn't see?" he said with a grin.

Lily nodded. "She asked me if being tied down so young is what I really want. When I told her yes, she said that no one in their right mind would want to be saddled with a man and a baby at my age." She scoffed and gave her mare a pat on the neck. "I don't understand why she can't leave it be."

Blackie chuckled and said, "That's my mom for you."

"Believe me, I know," Lily grumbled.

"Kid, I've had to put up with her a lot longer than you. Growing up, she wouldn't let me play with certain kids on the Rez, I couldn't go out after dark, and she wouldn't accept Cs on my report card, she chased my girlfriend away and I'm still not over it."

"She chased away your girlfriend?" She wanted to say she was surprised by this, but in truth, she wasn't. More like disappointed.

"Yep. Laura was her name. She used to babysit you when you were little. Anyway, yeah, Annette didn't like it her because Laura had been with a lot of men before she met me. I was hurt, but there wasn't much I could do."

"Why don't you start looking for someone new? It's been years since then," she suggested.

The paint gave his mane a shake and pawed that the ground. Blackie scratched the horse behind his ear. "I'm not interested in settling down. A wife, kids? It's not for me and I'm too old for it."

"You're only a few years older than Niko."

"It's not for me. I just want to be the cool uncle who pumps his niblings full of sugar and send them back to their parents."

"Hey, don't feed my kid too much sugar! She'll need her teeth."

Blackie smiled and said, "Be nice and I might go easy on you."

The boys wouldn't let her help with repairs, so she found herself stuck in the kitchen with Annette, Yasmine, and Star making the dough for fried bread. She didn't interact with them much and stayed off to the side mixing the dough in a metal bowl. She focused her attention on the ingredients blending together in a bowl and ignored the fact that Niko had been gone for almost three weeks now.

Annette had badgered her about that as well. She constantly made snide comments about Lily's choice of men and said if Niko really cared he would be here with her now and not running around the city. Lily couldn't explain why he was gone, only that what he was doing was important. It didn't change Annette's mind though. To her, Niko wasn't being responsible. She loved her step-mother, but the woman could be draining sometimes.

Exhaustion had taken over her body prematurely as it usually did as the evening wore on. It was to be expected now, but that didn't make it easier. With so much to do and so little energy, she felt she wasn't going to get anything done with her house at this rate. Her eyelids felt heavy and she began to nod off, only being jolted awake when her head slipped off her hand.

"Are you okay?" Star asked.

Lily yawned and set the bowl aside. "I'm just tired."

"I can see that."

"Well  _maybe_  if you took your vitamins every day you wouldn't feel sluggish," Annette said.

Lily sighed and stood from the table. She didn't need this tonight. "They make me sick. What's the point of taking them if I can't keep them down?"

"This point is, Lily, you need to take them. Your baby will be malnourished if you don't."

"Annette, let her make her own choices. She's old enough," Yasmine put in. "Lily, if they make you sick, I would suggest taking children's vitamins with krill oil. They work just as good and don't upset your stomach."

"Thanks, I'll give them a try," Lily said. "But I need to go. I don't feel well."

Star seemed to be the most disappointed at the announcement. "I thought you were staying for dinner?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't."

Lily quickly turned away before she could change her mind. She didn't want to hurt Star's feelings, but she couldn't take being talked down to any longer. As she made her way to the door, she heard Star say in an annoyed voice, "See, Grandma, you make her leave again."

The only one who was there to greet her when she got home was Hazel. Janie had come by the day before and dropped the cat off along with the Blista. She said she had taken care of the cat long enough and didn't want to anymore. Lily was fine with it. She missed Hazel and was glad to have him back. Hazel wrapped himself around Lily's leg and mewed loudly, demanding to know where she had been. She was amazed at how much he'd grown since she saw him last. She bent down and gave the feline a pat on the head before walking past him and into the kitchen.

Maybe she wouldn't be having dinner with her family, but she did have bell peppers and spicy ranch dip. It was lonely people food, but it was also not-having-to-hear-your-mom-nag-you food. After chopping the colorful peppers, she walked into the living-room and turned on the TV. They didn't have cable, but Lily didn't want it and Niko never cared for TV anyway. Instead, she used the digital antenna and watched the local channels plus the extra ones that digital had to offer. She happened the catch  _The Science of Crime_  just as the theme song ended and went straight to commercial. How annoying, she thought. She always managed to come across the program right before going to commercial.

She switched it over to one of the stations that broadcast old movies. They always seemed to calm her anxiety. She didn't know why they did. With a nice movie on, her cat in her lap, and bell peppers, she felt okay. Not great, but okay and she was fine with that. They were temporary distractions to help bury the loneliness and anxiety.

Even though Niko called her every morning and evening, it didn't make her worry less about him. She hoped that he'd come home within days, but three weeks later, Damir was still out there and Niko wasn't here to be with her. Every night she lied awake, her mind raced with terrible thoughts that something bad was going to happen. She hated the silence at night but refused to go back to her father or brother's house. She wanted to prove she wasn't frightened. Her only comfort when she was afraid at night was the sound of the television or the radio softly playing. If it wasn't for them, she would hear every noise both inside and out.

After her program ended and the bell peppers were gone, Lily showered and crawled into bed with Hazel curled up next to her. She lied in the dark, listening to the alarm clock's radio quietly play classical music. That fear came creeping back into her thoughts as she tried to fall asleep. She stroked Hazel's fur and stared at the sparkled ceiling wishing that her life would go back to normal.

* * *

In a small neighborhood in Dukes, Damir Brevic sat alone in a car he'd stolen hours earlier. He kept looking to his right, expecting to see Darko sitting in the passenger seat, nodding off from a heroin high or spacing out as war flashbacks played in his mind. The sting of his younger brother's death still lingered, but there was nothing he could do for Darko now except get an eye for an eye.

Three weeks had passed since Niko and Damir fought. He was certain they would both fall to their deaths, but somehow, Damir survived. His injuries healed quickly, though, his gunshot wound made it hard to breathe at times. Nevertheless, tonight he was making his move now. He was going to lure Niko into his trap, but first, he needed the bait.

He watched as a silver Cavalcade pulled into the driveway and narrowed his eyes at the sight of Roman and his wife. For three days he watched the house and tonight was the second night he saw the wife and child. The woman might prove to be difficult but not the child. He grinned.

_Just two more days and it'll all be over._


	31. No Easy Way Out

Looking back on it now, after everything that happened, it was strange to Roman just how ordinary that evening started out. He spent time with Mijo while Mallorie rested. She promised she'd get help for her depression, he promised to stay away from card games, and life seemed to be perfect again. He knew he'd taken a risk bringing them home, but his heart was clouded with excitement that his wife and son were finally back in his life.

His judgment almost cost him those he loved the most and all the terrible things he'd said, he regretted deeply.

"I'm glad you're home," Roman said that night over dinner.

Mallorie smiled warmly and touched her husband's hand. "Me too. I've missed you, Roman."

At the end of the table, Mijo babbled in baby talk and tried to say a few words. All the while he pounded on his highchair and accidentally knocked his sippy cup over. Mallorie moved to get up, but Roman stopped her.

"I've got it, beautiful," he said. He placed the cup back on the high chair and took his place back beside Mallorie. "I haven't had a meal this good since you left."

Mallorie giggled. "I'm sure you had Cluckin' Bell to hold you over."

"Cluckin' Bell taste like plastic compared to your wonderful cooking."

"Oh stop, Roman. You never liked my cooking."

"It's amazing what you begin to love when you haven't had it in so long."

Mallorie grinned and placed her hand on his thigh. "Speaking of things we haven't had in a long time..."

Before Roman could respond to her advances, Mijo began to cry fearfully. The baby went from happy and cheerful to terrified in an instant. This time it was Mallorie who tended to him. She took Mijo into her arms and held him close. He took fist fulls of her shirt and buried his face in her neck and continued to cry.

"What's wrong, little guy?" she whispered.

He peeked over her shoulder and pointed at the sliding glass door. Roman looked outside but didn't see anything that Mijo was pointing at. He stepped out into the backyard and looking around. His porch light revealed nothing out of the ordinary, but a prickly sensation crawled up his neck, making the hairs stands on end. His senses told him there wasn't anything out here, but he couldn't shake that feeling of being watched.

It was nothing. He heard the story from Brucie. Niko had messed up Damir and pushed him off the roof. Since then the attacks around the city ceased. That was weeks ago, however. Damir could have healed by then. Roman swallowed down his rising fear and went back inside. He refused to let anyone ruin this joyous reunion with his family.

"You see anything?" Mallorie asked.

"No," he replied. "Nothing was out there. He's only tired, that's all."

"I dunno, he's really upset about something."

They opted to have dinner in the living-room with the TV on. Mallorie didn't like the idea of her child watching cartoons while eating, but that night she made an exception. The colorful, cartoon animals provided enough distraction for Mijo to forget about whatever it was that frightened him and soon he was calmed. His parents ate dinner in silence while their child happily played on the living-room floor. After dinner, Mijo was allowed to play for an extra thirty minutes before it was his bath time.

While Mallorie dried and dressed the baby, a pair of eyes watched her through the closet door's shutters.

She moved around the room gracefully, humming a tune, and cooing at the baby. Mijo held the bars of his crib and bounced excitedly with a pacifier in his mouth.

"Settle down now, it's your bedtime," she said softly.

She took him from the crib and sat by the window in a rocking chair. Wrapped in a blanket and holding a stuffed frog, he was ready for bed. She rocked him for half an hour. The baby yawned several times. He tried to fight it, but eventually, his eyes grew heavy and soon he was asleep. Mallorie gently laid him down in the crib and tucked him in. She smoothed the soft hair from his face before reaching for the pacifier and gently plucking it from his mouth.

When he was born, she used to let Mijo sleep with a pacifier until her mother freaked out and said that it would kill him. After that, she took it away once he was asleep.

As she walked to the door, a feeling of dread came over her. It was almost as if someone was watching her. She brushed it off, telling herself that it was only nerves. After all, a lot happened in a short amount of time. Within seconds the feeling passed and Mallorie was relieved. She gave the room another glance before quietly shutting the door behind her.

Roman was waiting for her in their bedroom when she came back. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching her as she moved around the room, getting ready for bed.

"He went to sleep okay?" Roman asked as Mallorie slipped on a nightgown.

"He's adjusting better than I thought."

"As long as he's happy."

She sat beside him on the bed with a troubled expression on her face. "But are  _you_  happy?"

He was surprised by her question. "Of course! The day you agreed to marry me was the happiest day of my life. Are you happy with me?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and said, "Of course I'm happy." She lifted her head and smiled. "I think you and me have some catching up to do."

He chuckled. "I like where this is going."

* * *

Even though the baby monitor never went off, Mallorie still awoke sometime after midnight. She didn't move right away because her bed was warm. The only sound in the house was Roman's snoring. She sat up and listened for the baby, but it was hard to hear over her husband. Even though the baby monitor was silent and it seemed that her son hadn't made a peep, something told Mallorie that things were not alright.

After putting on a robe, she walked across the hall and was greeted by an icy breeze in Mijo's room. In her half-asleep state, she couldn't figure out why the room was so cold. She worried poor Mijo would catch a fever.

A sudden feeling of emptiness overcame her as she stood in the doorway. Not on the inside, but one that told her the room was devoid of any occupants. Her gaze drifted to the window. It was open, blowing an early December breeze into the house. She was fully awake by then, realizing that she had never opened the window to Mijo's room the entire time they'd lived in the house.

She quickly made her way to the window to shut it, but half-way there, she stopped and looked over at the crib. Her eyes widen and her heart was stricken with sheer terror at the empty spot her son was supposed to be. Frantically, she raced around the room, looking for any sign that Mijo was still there. She looked out the window and that's when she saw boot prints in the soft dirt.

A shrill, frantic scream sliced through the night air, awakening Roman and alerting the neighbors.

* * *

The Sabre peeled out of a parking lot in Hove Beach, barely missing the citizens in the area. Roman's frantic call and Mallorie's heartbreaking sobs continued to replay in Niko's mind as he raced towards Dukes.

The note was clear, meet Damir at the Spunk Factory, do not go to the police or lose Mijo. He almost went alone, but Roman begged for Niko to take him along. He couldn't tell his cousin no, but he couldn't risk anything happening to Roman either. In the end, he agreed to pick Roman up from the house.

He called Lily and explained the situation. Lily tried not to cry when she begged Niko to be careful and he promised her he would.

"Niko, don't do anything stupid. I love you," Lily choked out.

"I love you, too and don't worry. This thing with Damir ends here and now. I won't allow him to hurt any else again."

By the time the call ended, she began to cry. It hurt to hear it, but he knew she was safe and that was what mattered to him. What he didn't know, was that as soon as she hung up, Lily grabbed two important items before jumping into her Blista. Gravel sprayed from her tires as she floored it out of the yard and drove as fast as she could to Liberty City.

When he arrived there twenty minutes later, Roman was waiting on the steps for him. He told Niko not to worry about Mallorie because her sisters were there to comfort her. The moment Roman got into the car, they burned rubber again.

"This is your fault!" Roman said as they approached the Algonquin bridge.

"How is this my fault?" Niko replied.

"If you had not pissed off Damir, then everything would be fine! Mallorie and me would be having a nice time at home and little Mijo would be safe in his crib right now! Thanks a whole lot, cousin... or should I even call you that anymore?"

Niko's grip on the wheel tightened and the muscles in his jaw tensed. "Roman, I have apologized for what I've done in the past and I've paid for my actions more than once. So could you please shut the fuck up while I concentrate on the road. Once we get Mijo back then you can tell me I'm scum."

Roman scowled and looked out the window, watching everything around him faded into a blur. He buried his face in his hands and began to cry. He didn't want to do this in front of Niko, but after trying to stay strong for Mallorie's sake, he couldn't hold it in any longer.

"I don't want to lose my son," he sobbed.

"And you won't," replied Niko. "Trust me, you won't."

Niko's heart ached for Roman and Mallorie. It was hard to imagine Mijo being hurt or worse. His heart hammered in his chest, his throat was dry, and his stomach felt as if a hot stone had been dropped in it. He increased the acceleration, getting closer to their destination.

He may have failed many people in his life, but he wasn't going to fail Mijo.

* * *

"Wait here," Niko said.

They were parked across the street from the abandoned Spunk factory. Niko stepped out of the car and looked over the building. He worried that it was too late and Damir harmed Mijo. He couldn't think like that. Mijo was fine. He had to be.

"Wait, Niko, I'm coming with you!" Roman got out of the car and grabbed Niko by the jacket. "Please, I know I won't be much use but Mijo needs me."

Niko heard the desperation in his cousin's voice and felt pity for him. He could let Roman ride along, but he couldn't let him go inside.

"I know Mijo needs you. That's why you have to stay here. I promise I'll bring him back to you."

With that, Roman reluctantly let go, allowing Niko to run inside alone. He stood there, helpless to do anything as he watched his cousin disappear into the building. Every terrible word he spoke towards Niko came flooding back and it hurt to think about it. Even after all the ill words that were said, Niko was still willing to risk his life for Roman.

Niko took the tunnel entrance into the factory. He scanned the inside, looking for any signs of Mijo or Damir. The place was too quiet for his liking. He took a step inside, looked around and quickly advanced up the rickety stairs. The second floor was empty. Bits of debris fell from the ceiling and landed on his shoulder. He brushed it off before continuing up the stairs. The building creaked and groaned with each step he took. He worried the floor would give out underneath him. The building had taken a lot of damage when the helicopter crashed through it the previous year.

As he got closer to the top floor, he took out his combat pistol, ready to use it if he had to.

He silently pleaded for Mijo to be okay.

Looking back on it, he regretted not spending more time with the child. It wasn't that he didn't want to, but every time he saw Mijo, a deep yearning to become a father himself swept over him and it was frightening. But things were different now.

He made it to the top floor, keeping his pistol lowered. He scanned the dark room, his only lighting was the street lights shining through the busted out windows. Then he spotted Mijo lying on a dirty blanket, curled up and not moving. For a moment, Niko's heart sank, believing that he was too late. Then the baby stirred and relief washed over him. He placed the pistol into the waistband of his jeans and made his way to Mijo.

The baby's eyes fluttered open. He looked up at Niko and smiled, showing off a few new teeth. He reached out with his tiny hands, begging for Niko to hold him. Niko knelt down and picked up the infant. The baby was ice cold and nestled close to his uncle for warmth. Niko set Mijo back down and took off his jacket to wrap him in.

"Come on, kid, let's get you home," Niko whispered.

Glass and gravel crunched under a boot. Niko withdrew his weapon and spun around, but this time he was not quick enough. Damir stepped out of the darkness and swung a metal pipe, hitting Niko in the side of the head. He went down but caught himself before he could fall on Mijo.

"You are so predictable, Niko. I knew you would try to save the little crotch maggot," Damir said, standing over him.

Damir raised the pipe again and struck Niko in the ribs. Pain spread throughout his side and he knew there was a chance they were broken. Beneath him, Mijo began to wail, terrified and uncertain of what was happening. Niko softly told Mijo it would be alright, but the boy couldn't be calmed.

"No one fucks with my family!" Niko snarled.

Damir chortled and said, "Oh, but I already have." He smirked and laughed again. "Poor, poor, Vlada Bellic."

Niko's eyes widened and his chest burned with white-hot rage. "What the fuck did you do?"

Neither knew it, but Roman had ignored Niko's orders and entered the building. Now he was hiding behind a concrete slab listening to Niko and Damir. What the older Serb said next made his stomach churn. Roman was too wrapped up in what was taking place before him to notice someone else had arrived at the factory.

Damir grinned down at Niko. "I made her scream one last time. She didn't recognize me and she was such a trusting woman. Aunt Vlada felt good. Very good. Do you want to know what I did when I finished? I cut her throat from ear to ear. How I loved hearing her drown in her own blood."

All Niko could see was red. Ignoring the pain that surged through his body, he quickly jumped to his feet and slammed himself into Damir. Damir stumbled back but didn't buckle under Niko's weight. He took out a 9mm pistol and aimed it at Niko. Niko took out his own gun and emptied three rounds into Damir's chest before he had a chance to fire off a round.

He clutched his chest and panted as pain pulsated throughout his torso. Niko was surprised that Damir hadn't killed over yet. He looked up at Niko, eyes glittering with amusement. He moved his hand away from his chest, showing the lack of blood.

"Bulletproof vests are handy," Damir said, knocking the thick fibers beneath his shirt. "It hurts like hell, but I'm not dead."

Mijo's sobs grew louder and more high pitched. He covered his eyes with the jacket, thinking it would hide him. Tired of the crying, Damir aimed the gun at the child's head. Niko rushed forward and grabbed the pistol. It went off once when Niko grabbed for it and again when he began to wrestle it from Damir's grasp. Using pressure points on Damir's wrist loosened the weapon from his grip and it fell to the ground.

"You're not wearing one, are you?" Damir asked.

"No… I'm not..." Niko replied.

It was true. In his haste, he'd forgotten the one item he never left without. Now he was paying the price for it. One hit to the chest, the other in his side. Blood spilled from his wounds, a strong copper taste overwhelmed his mouth, his strength was ebbing from his body, but he wasn't giving up yet.

Roman jumped out from his hiding spot and threw a rock at Damir.

"That's for taking my son, you bastard!" Roman cried.

He pinned Damir against the wall and wrapped a hand around his windpipe while in his other hand held the gun under Damir's chin.

"Roman, take Mijo and get out of here!" Niko ordered.

"I can't leave you here!" Roman argued.

"Get out of here now!"

That time, Roman didn't hesitate. He ran for Mijo, scooping the baby into his arms and quickly but carefully made his way down the steps. Now that he didn't have to worry about the child's safety anymore, Niko didn't hold back.

He found satisfaction in hearing Damir gasp for air. After all this time, Damir was going to finally know how his victims felt when he slowly drained the life from their bodies. This satisfaction was short-lived, however when Damir struck Niko in his fresh bullet wound on his chest. The pain weakened Niko long enough for Damir to land a punch on Niko's injured side. Niko braced himself against the wall, fighting back the agony he was feeling. Damir grabbed for a piece of concrete and struck Niko in the head.

In the next moment, he was on the ground, his vision blurring and blood soaking his clothing. Not far from him was the combat pistol. He reached out for it, but Damir's boot came down hard on his hand. Damir knelt down and picked up the gun.

"You were always soft, Bellic," Damir said, kicking Niko in his ribs. "It's no wonder you were ambushed and you let that poor Irish cunt die."

"Your mother should have swallowed," Niko choked out.

"Interesting last words."

Damir leveled the gun at Niko's head.

The next moments were a blur for him. The last thought in his mind was Lily and his last image was a red bolt slicing through the night air, striking Damir in his neck. A feathered end stuck out, drenching in his blood. Damir clawed at the bolt, desperately tugging at it. He gasped and gurgled on his own blood as it slowly strangled the life out of him. His attacker would have let him suffer, but she couldn't wait for his death any longer. Another bolt went sailing and penetrated Damir's eye. He stumbled back against the wall before sliding down and slumping over. Red liquid spilled from his body, but by then his life was gone.

Damir Brevic was finally dead and for Lily, the nightmare was over.

She lowered the crossbow and swept the hair from her face as she took even breaths to calm her nerves. Just when her heart rate began to slow, she spotted Niko, lying on his side, unmoving, and barely breathing. She ran to his side, dropping the bow in the process.

"Niko?" she said, meekly. "Niko, please wake up."

His eyes slowly opened and his auburn gaze was barely focused on her. "Lily… you should... not have... come… it's dangerous..."

She took his hand. "And if I hadn't you would be dead. Oh, Niko, please hold on. I'm gonna call for help and in the meantime, I need you to stay with me."

"I… it hurts to... breathe…"

"I know it does," she said softly.

He heard footfalls approaching them. "How is he?" the muffled voice asked.

That was strange… he was having trouble hearing and seeing.

"It's not good, Roman. I'm going to stop the bleeding, but you need to call for an ambulance. Hurry!"

"Of course. Hang in there, cousin."

He wanted to wince when Lily applied pressure to the wound, but he found he had little strength. After everything he'd been through, this was how he would die. He'd never meet his child or ask Lily to marry him, but he took comfort in knowing they would be safe. It was all he had now. Lily begged him to stay awake and Roman began to cry, telling Niko he was sorry for what he said and that he forgave him. 

He couldn't figure out why everything was devoid of all color or why he couldn't hear very well. The world around him was quickly blanketed in darkness and his body felt dumb. Knowing this was the end, he felt at peace.


	32. Goodbyes Are Not Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter...
> 
> Maybe I'll write an epilogue, who knows, but for now, this is goodbye. Currently working on a stand-alone story for Jessie and Johnny that should be ready by the beginning of 2019.
> 
> Before we begin the last chapter I'd like to thank a few authors on this site:
> 
> To Cinderfreak: Thank you for your encouragement and praises that motivated me to write this fanfic that I wasn't brave enough to take on for years. I value your opinions and friendship greatly and I will forever be grateful to you.
> 
> To BalorBabe/Rose: You've followed this story from the very beginning and reviewed every chapter(Which isn't always an easy thing to do). You always had something nice to say even on the weaker chapters. Thank you so much.
> 
> To Keruise: I know we haven't spoken much, but I'm glad that you loved The Steel Roses enough to include them in your story. It makes me happy when other authors love my characters enough that they want to feature them in their own stories. ^.^
> 
> To 96: Thank you for your support and conversation.
> 
> And to everyone else, thank you as well. I hope you've enjoyed this messy fanfic. I'm still in my funk so, once again, if I don't get back to you, I'm sorry.

The Steel Roses' clubhouse felt empty without the loud music, the endless chatter and swearing from bikers, and the thick clouds of cigarette smoke. On that particular night, the place had been shut down to hold a very private meeting.

Jessie sat at the head of the table while her higher-ups took their own assigned seats. Her eyes swept over the room as she studied each woman before her, taking in every detail. She would truly miss all of them, but she also knew that was she was about to do was for the best. Jessie sighed and stood up while the other Roses remained seated. Only Linda knew what she was about to do. Her vice-president wasn't happy about it and even tried talking Jessie out of it, but she wasn't going to budge. Everything she did now, had to be for her son.

"I called this meeting today because I have something important to say." The women each glanced at each other, wondering what she was talking about. "As you all know, I've experienced a lot of changes recently and well… you all know what I did to get this club off the ground. Some of it wasn't pretty, but you girls know that just as much as I do." They all nodded in agreement, some even snickering. "You know sisterhood means a lot to me, but now so does motherhood as some of you already understand. This won't be easy for me and I know some of you will be mad, but… I'm stepping down as your president."

Murmurs of shock and questions rippled through the room. Linda rose from her chair and took her place beside Jessie.

"As of today, I will be takin' over. Jessie and I talked it over beforehand and I agreed. Although this will be hard, I am confident that I can take the Roses in a new direction, spreading our influence throughout the state and maybe even further." She turned to face Jessie. "Are you ready?"

Jessie nodded, a feeling of regret momentarily entering her heart. The feeling quickly passed, however, when she thought of Johnny, Rusty, and the west coast. "Yeah, I'm ready."

She removed her vest and neatly folded it before passing it to Melissa. Linda was given her new jacket. She paused to run her hand over the badge that now displayed both her name and her position in the club then slipped the jacket on. There was a mixture of fear, excitement, and sadness within Linda, but she was going to do her best.

"Congrats, sister. You are now the new president of The Steel Roses MC," Jessie said.

Afterward, the women raised their longneck bottles in celebration of their new leader. Loud music blasted through the speakers, pizza was passed around, dirty jokes were told, and laughs and memories were shared.

Jessie slipped outside for fresh air. Snow fell and dappled the streets, only to melt as soon as it touched the pavement. It wouldn't be long before the concrete would freeze and the snow would stick. She would have to leave soon if she wanted to make it back in time. Soon, she would never have to deal with snow again and warm beaches would be ready to greet her.

The fully furnished farmhouse Johnny had received from his new employer was waiting for them in a small, rural town called Grapeseed. She went on the EyeFind and looked up the town. It wasn't very impressive, but it had a charm to it. It was funny, after all those years complaining about Madison and swearing she'd never go back, she was moving to a town that looked worse off, but she knew that it wouldn't be all bad. After all, it was a place where she and Johnny could start over and raise their child.

Sure, it probably wasn't going to be the most ideal upbringing, but they would never make their son feel unloved or unwanted. Rusty-James would have a good life and everything he'd need.

"Need some company?"

Jessie glanced at Linda and nodded. "Yeah, sure. I'm just thinking."

"I thought so. Just don't stay out too long. Don't want a cold."

"I'll be okay."

Silence passed between them for several moments before Linda spoke again. "Just so you know, I'm just keeping your spot warm. When you come back, this position will be waiting for you."

Jessie smiled and said, "I'd like to think that I'll be there for a very long time."

"You're an Easterner, Jessie. The West Coast ain't your scene, but I do hope you find happiness there."

The two women embraced tightly. Jessie swallowed down the knot in her throat as she remembered everything they had been through. Maybe she'd back someday, but she really wanted to make San Andreas work out.

"Hey, you two quit the pussy licking and come back inside!" Big Bess shouted from a window.

Linda and Jessie pulled apart and laughed. Jessie would truly miss this place.

Later that night she returned home to her dark and quiet house. She snapped on the lamp on the end table and giggled at the sight of Johnny asleep on the couch with Rusty-James on his chest. As she looked at the two men in her life, she told herself that San Andreas couldn't happen fast enough.

* * *

Bright lights forced his eyes shut. He wanted to move, but his chest hurt too much. He tried to talk, but couldn't think of the right words. What could he say and who would be listening? When he tried opening his eyes again, he took it slower. He rolled his head to the side and saw something black and white sitting in a chair.

He tried to think back to his last memory, but everything was fuzzy. Bits and pieces slowly came back to him as his eyes tried adjusting to his surroundings. Flying down the highway, Roman crying, the Spunk factory, gunfire… and that's where the memory ends...

_I feel as if a truck ran me over._

"Niko, are you awake?" Roman whispered.

"I think so…" He tried to move again but found it too painful to do so. "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you're okay."

His vision cleared and he could see that Roman had been crying. Still in a dazed state and not fully aware of the previous events, he worried something terrible had happened.

"Are you okay?" Niko asked.

Roman chuckled through the tears and replied, "I should be asking you that."

"Did something happen to Mallorie… is Mijo okay?"

"They're fine. All Mijo had were some scrapes and bruises, but he's going to be fine and it's all thanks to you."

"I don't understand." Then it slowly donned on him. "Fuck," he hissed. "Damir..."

Roman's expression darkened. "Damir is dead. We'll never have to worry about him again."

"He wore a vest," Niko said hoarsely.

"Yes, well, as it turns out a vest can't protect you from an arrow to the face."

Dizziness came over him as if he were drunk. He wished he were at that moment. At least maybe alcohol would numb the pain. Niko shut his eyes, hoping it could stop the spinning. It worked but not enough to matter. What he really wanted to know was, where was Lily?

"Where is she?"

"At your apartment in Alderney. We had to make her leave so she could rest."

"Is she okay?"

"She is now. After you were admitted, she silently cried. Mallorie and Bernie tried to comfort her, but she isolated herself away from the rest of us. Then she began to have abdominal pains so a doctor took her to the women's health ward to look her over. After that, she didn't leave your side."

Niko didn't want to ask the next question. "She lost the baby, didn't she?" The thought of Lily suffering a miscarriage after everything they had been through...

"No, everything is fine. The doctor made her take it easy."

He simply nodded, too exhausted now to speak.

"You should rest now, cousin and Niko… I'm sorry."

Niko didn't argue with him about it. After everything that happened all he could see himself doing now was sleep.

* * *

If the morphine wasn't making him drowsy, then he was awake in agony. He tried to hide it from everyone, but they couldn't be fooled. Lily and Roman never left his side during his stay at the hospital. They would rotate looking after him and all the while, Niko found this to be irritating. He understood they only wanted what was best for him, but he also wanted his space.

He found out he was shot in the center of the chest and his left side, three of his ribs were broken, and he had a concussion. The doctor was amazed that he didn't have a fractured skull after the blow he took to the head. Niko was surprised he was alive at all. The police questioned him about Damir. He lied and said that he owned Damir money from back when they lived in Serbia. Roman had backed up Niko with this statement.

After the police left, Roman revealed to Niko that Lily had been the one who killed Damir. He had a recollection of the moment the bolt struck Damir in the neck, but everything after that was a blur. Knowing that she was the one to finish him off was shocking none-the-less, but it seemed to be fitting for her to end him. Although, it seemed that the entire east coast finishing him off was justified. He thought of his aunt at that moment and his heart broke for her. It felt as if he was grieving for her all over again, but he also knew that she was finally at peace.

During his stay, he received more visitors. Brucie, Bernie, Little Jacob, Jessie, and even Dwayne had come out of his dark and depressing apartment to visit. The next person to see him was Linda.

She came in on a snowy evening half an hour before visiting hours ended. He noticed she wasn't wearing her cut, but a plain leather jacket. Her hair was pulled back into a bun and she wore a touch of makeup.

"Hey, Niko," she said. "How's this place treatin' ya?"

"I do okay," he replied.

"Heh, yeah, I was here once when a Lost member shot me in the leg. The food sucked."

She crossed her arms and looked down at her feet as she struggled to find the words to apologize. Pride was taking over, making it even harder. Niko wished she'd hurry up and say whatever it was she had to say so she could be left alone. She cleared her throat and took a few steps closer to the bed.

"Listen, I want to thank you for giving my family closure. Mackenzie's death left a big void in my family, but now that Damir Brevic is dead, I think we can finally begin the healing process."

"I wish you the best, Linda. Losing a sibling isn't easy," Niko said.

Linda simply nodded. "Thanks, and well, I'm sorry for all the stuff I said to you. I guess immigrants ain't all that bad if they're anything like you."

"Thanks… I think."

"I should be going. You take care, yeah? Just so you know, you and your family will always be under our protection." With that, she left him in peace. Gone as quickly as she arrived.

Two days later, Niko was having another bad day. The pain medication had worn off again and he was feeling everything. He tried to hide it, but Lily could see he wasn't feeling well.

"I'm going to get the nurse," Lily said.

As she rose from her chair, he reached out and grabbed her sleeve. "Wait," he rasped. He winced and let go of her. "I'm fine… really."

"You need something to take the pain away, Niko."

"I'm fine."

"Quit being stubborn and just accept help. You can't be strong all the time," Lily replied.

He reached out to her with the hand that wasn't hooked to an IV. "Come here."

She approached the bed and took his hand. Pain rippled through his chest and sides, but he pushed it away, hoping she wouldn't be noticed. He must have made a face, though, because he saw the look of worry in her eyes. The last thing he needed was her worrying. Worry led to stress, stress led to a miscarriage.

"Niko..."

"Marry me?"

She blinked. Did she hear him right? "What?"

"Marry me," he repeated.

"Before I give you my answer, I need to know: Are you only asking because I'm pregnant?"

He closed his eyes. He knew she would suspect it and if he were honest, it was a small part of the reason, but he also couldn't see his life without her. "I want us to marry."

Her heart beat wildly in her chest as she tried to come up with an answer. Never in her life had she considered getting married. The entire idea of it was absurd to her. In her opinion, two people didn't need a piece of paper to show they loved each other. They could raise a happy and healthy child without it. She knew that Niko was somewhat of a traditional man and she knew he would ask her eventually, but she hadn't prepared herself for when he'd ask her and now that day had come.

She smiled and bent down to kiss him. "Let's concentrate on getting you better first, okay?"

"I know you don't believe in marriage, but it's important to me."

"I know, but I really need to think about this."

"I understand."

"Please know that me not wanting to get married doesn't mean that I don't love you."

He understood, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Maybe someday she'd say yes. For now, however, he would leave it alone. She stayed with him until visiting hours were over and then she left back to the apartment in Alderney.

Back at the Bedard place, Hotah stood in the kitchen with a thick file in his hands. He'd glanced over the reports, not wanting to thoroughly look through them. For three days he held on to it, keeping it away from Annette. If she sent out for another one, he'd just find that too and destroy it.

As far as he was concerned, anyone who was so protective of his daughter and made her happy wasn't that bad. Yes, Niko did questionable things in his past, but in Hotah's opinion, the Serb paid his dues.

He tossed the files in the sink, drenched it in lighter fluid and set it ablaze. After the files were burned beyond recognition, Hotah ran water over the fire. He took what was left, tied it up in a small grocery bag and threw it away, hoping Niko would never make him regret his decision.

* * *

The day had come sooner than Lily had wanted. Although she was happy for her friend, she was also sad that Jessie was moving away. They stood outside on a cold winter morning in Lily's front lawn. Parked in the road was Jessie's truck with a trailer hauling four motorcycles. The bed of the truck was loaded down with boxes and Lily could see Johnny and Rusty in the front seat. Another vehicle, an old Slamvan, was parked behind them and surrounding the van were several more Lost MC members on their bikes. Lily felt pity for the men having to ride in thirty-degree weather.

Jessie, a hard woman who didn't like showing emotion, began to cry the moment Lily opened her door. Lily held onto to her friend and wept with her. The two had promised themselves they would be strong when the day would come for the older woman to say goodbye. Although it was easier said than done. Jessie almost changed her mind about leaving, but Lily told her that she would only regret it if she didn't go.

A cold wind whipped around the two women as they embraced tightly, their bodies providing enough heat to keep them from freezing out in the climate.

"Now, don't lose my number, okay?" Jessie said as they stopped hugging.

"Of course not! Call me as soon as you can so I know you're safe."

"I will and look after Niko and that little one." Jessie placed her hand on Lily's stomach which now had a small bump. "I told you not to drink the water." Lily giggled, but Jessie could see the sadness in her friend's eyes. "Don't worry, you'll do fine. If I can do it, so can you."

"Thanks, Jessie. Have you seen Amber yet?"

Jessie nodded. "Yeah, I saw her. It wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy, but at least she forgave me for leaving all those years ago."

"Maybe I can talk some sense into her?"

"Don't bother, Lily. Really, I'll be okay."

Lily zipped up her jacket as another icy breeze swept through the land. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." She briefly looked over her should and said, "I should be going. We got a lot of roads to cover and Clay wants to go see the world's biggest ball of yarn. Goodbye, Lily."

Lily hugged her again and said, "The Lakota don't say goodbye, instead we say:  _Tókša akhé waƞčhíyaƞkiƞ kte._ "

Jessie laughed. "What does that mean?"

"It means I will see you again."

"Maybe someday," she said softly.

Lily watched as they drove away. Jessie blew the horn and gave a final wave. She stood at the end of her driveway and watched them go. Even after the last bike disappeared over the hill and the roar of the engines faded away, she didn't move from her spot. She felt empty inside and a little envious of her friend going on a cross-country adventure. However, she knew that this place, this town, would always be her home.

After some time had passed, she found it in her to finally move. She walked back inside the house and found Niko in the kitchen making breakfast. The doctor told him to take it easy, but he was stubborn and quickly grew restless. Lily fought with him about it at first, but he ended up being the victor. Her father told her that when it came to relationships, sometimes you have to pick your battles and in this case, she let Niko have his way.

He struggled to move at times, but he'd come a long way from when he was in the hospital. That day was a good day for him as it didn't hurt much to get around. They had to refrain from lovemaking for a few more weeks, to make sure his ribs healed properly. It was something neither of them liked and sometimes Niko tried to convince her it would be alright as long as she got on top, but she wouldn't let temptation get the best of her.

She pulled herself onto the countertop, sitting next to the fridge and watched him as he moved around the kitchen. Waiting to see if his injuries would flair up.

"You don't have to watch me, I'm fine," he said as he cracked an egg over a bowl.

"You know I'm only looking out for you. It's what I'm supposed to do."

"I believe that is my job," he replied. Then added, "I take it Jessie left for San Andreas today?"

"Yeah," she said, sadly. "They're gone, but I think they'll be okay. Do you think they'll be okay?"

He shrugged. "Only time will tell." He stopped mixing the eggs in the bowl and set it aside. Seeing that Lily was troubled, he knew it wasn't just Jessie leaving that had her upset. "What's wrong?" he asked, taking her hand.

"I don't know. Maybe it's hormones messing with me again." She reached behind her head and pulled her braid forward. Running her fingers down the smooth bumps brought her some comfort. "I feel like this was all meant to be. Me and you and this baby." She placed her hand on her stomach. "But sometimes, I'm scared something bad will happen again."

He knew what she meant and he often felt the same way. Every time he thought he was free from his own past, someone or something would come up again. Would he ever truly be free? Was a happily ever after possible for him or would he lose it all the moment he let his guard down again? But he was free from everyone he'd wronged or who had wronged him. He searched his memory for anyone else but came up blank.

"We'll be fine unless you have pissed off the mob or something," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Despite her apprehensiveness, she smiled at his sarcasm and began to caress his arms. "Maybe a gangster or two," she teased back.

"Nothing I can't handle."

She giggled. "My hero."

" _Moje srce kuca samo za tebe,"_  he spoke softly.

He closed in on the space between them and kiss her passionately. She traced his jawline, feeling the stubble that was trying to return. Her other arm circled around his neck while one of his hands roamed up her back and rested on her increasingly sensitive breast. The feeling made her heart lurch.

Every fear they held melted away and in its place, hopefulness for the future bloomed. Life wasn't perfect, but love had given them the strength to face whatever challenge was in store for them. It was all they would ever need.

"You've said that before. What does it mean?" Lily asked when the kiss broke.

"My heart beats only for you," he replied.

Her heart fluttered at his words. "As does mine, Niko. I love you."

Standing there in the kitchen with Lily, he was amazed that he was able to love again. He placed a hand on her stomach, feeling the bump where their future and his second chance at life grew within her. After all the hardship his life had brought him, after all the bloodshed, and animosity he faced on that beaten, broken path he took, he'd finally come through a changed man for the better and a soon-to-be father. Maybe America would never truly be his home, but his heart belonged here on this ranch with this kind and caring woman who had brought out the best in him.

Whatever life had for him, he was ready to face it with the woman he loved by his side.


End file.
